, 7 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
1. I totally understand the collapse of the #TrumpKimSummit. Remember in high school when your parents forced you to to go to a major family function while you were in the middle of a bad break-up? As you stand there, distracted and depressed, trying to muster ...
2. Feigned interest in a conversation with your crazy uncle, who is bragging about his new tech gadget (which you don't have, so you are doubly pissed off), your BFF calls you to tell you that your ex is at a massive party talking shit about you to all of your frenemies.
3. Not only is he talking shit, but he is spilling all of your secrets and no one is defending you. Even worse, he is getting all of the attention! So you storm out of the family function because you just want to go home.
4. You just want to get to a place where you can call all of your friends and yell at them and spend hours writing a 10k word diary entry about how unfair this all is. Now imagine this on the world stage where Trump is in the middle of breaking up with Cohen and Cohen...
5. Is spilling all the tea in Congress while Trump is stuck in fucking Vietnam of all places with rocket boy. We all know he just wants to go home and call Jim Jordan and Mark Meadows and tweet insults at Cohen. Right?
6. Trump is that 13 year old girl we all once were. The problem is that he has been that 13 year old girl his entire life and now he is that 13 year old girl as POTUS. Worse still, he is the Veruca Salt version - the most self indulgent, entitled, impulsive version.
7. And we sent Veruca Salt in the middle of a break-up to negotiate a nuclear deal with an unhinged dictator. Did anyone think this would end well?
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