, 13 tweets, 5 min read Read on Twitter
So, I just got off the phone with my attorney's office for this court fight to secure my children from my former abuser. Yall. What they just told me...smh Let me tell you something about #financialabuse, a huge underaddressed and unacknowledged aspect of #domesticabuse.
#thread
I answered the phone and after pleasantries,

My Attorney's Secretary: Stacey (my lawyer) wants to know if you filed your tax return?

Me: Yes. I've already filed them.
My Attorney's Secretary: Oh, ok. I figured you would have. I asked bc (the abuser)'s attorney called this morning saying that he requests that you file jointly with him and split the return 50/50 with you.
Now,

- This abuser has not provided for his children in almost 2 years

- This abuser has not LIVED with us since February of 2018

- This abuser did not contribute financially to his household AT ALL while living with us

But he wants to file JOINTLY and take HALF.
This has always been part and parcel of his abuse. This stripping away of financial resources from myself and my children. This entitlement to financial resources bc you know, he wants it so he should have it. This dismantling of my ability to survive, provide or protect us.
Early last year, he left our home with a week's notice, unnecessarily took the children's access to healthcare in the process, and tried using the filing of the taxes to hurt us in the opposite way:
We had always filed jointly throughout our marriage, but he attempted to spring on me filing separately w no sharing of the return (knowing that we were dependent on the return to financially survive in those coming months).
Thankfully, when he tried this, it was too late for him to change his mind and strip us bare because the taxes were already filed for that year of marriage and living together (I know. None of it makes sense. smh)
But this is what abusers do. #FinancialAbuse is about stripping the victim of access to resources, money AND PATHWAYS to money to incapacitate the victim, to bind their autonomy, to create a crisis of living and then turn around and use that created crisis to their advantage.
He doesnt even live with us, but you see the fight is far from over. It doesnt end w leaving. We're still fighting for our lives & safety in every imaginable way. He's not done coming for us. He's not done attacking. He's not done attempting to harm. He's not done trying to take.
I can't even begin to tell you the fear I feel sometimes: What if I can't pay the attorney's fees? How will I pay for our freedom? What if he's watching us? What more will he try to take? Will the judge protect my children? What do I need to do now to protect us?
I still live my life on high alert. Vigilant. I have to anticipate the next move to ensure our protection from the man that's seeking to destroy. I work hard, but we don't have much. Surviving this has stripped us plenty. This court fight means so much...so much...
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