, 5 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
"Kansas Weed Scientist" is like the Florida Man of weed science. No joke.

If there's a weed problem that doesn't exist yet, Kansas weed scientists are like "hold my beaker" then there's a press release 4 days later.
"Kansas Weed Scientists Confirm Novel Weed Resistance Mechanism That Can Only Be Killed With Pure, Concentrated Rage."

"Kansas Weed Scientists Place Last Remaining Hope for Sustainable Weed Management in Laser Beams Attached to Geese."
When reached for comment, @KSUweeddoc quietly sighed "The weeds have won - they've now acquired the ability to control our brains. There's nothing more we can do." as he stared off into the distance.
Thanks for reading my distopian weed novella, set in Kansas 3 years from now, obviously.
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