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"Why?"
Because for some reason I REALLY dig that Shallow song
It's an interesting situation.
I'm going into this looking at how Bradley Cooper handles his singing, whereas I wanna see Lady Gaga's acting ability.
I assume the METRIC TONS OF BRIGHT LIGHTS is on purpose in this opening concert sequence. Probably to represent it being like a dream or some shit like that
YUP. Called it. Immediately after, Bradley Cooper gets in the car and it gets SUPER DARK, representing probably some kind of grizzly underbelly beneath the facade of rockstar glamour
*chugs*
Lady Gaga is having a phone call quietly, while sitting in the shitter. Representing the claustrophobia of her character's life situation (she's breaking up with some dude over the phone)
Center of the seemingly vast empty bathroom, reflecting how the character feels isolated and alone in a big world
Her asshole of a boss swears up a storm and tells Lady Gaga to take out the trash before she leaves.

Symbolism overload.

(im mentioning all this shit now just to set up the plot, roughly. as the movie sucks me in the symbolism stuff stops mattering as much to me, usually.)
She sings, walking away from the dark and away from her dead-end job, towards the light.
OH HEY THERE'S THE TITLE CARD

I was wondering where that'd be

I guess this movie wanted to get strategic with that.
i recognize that limo driver

it's not the guy from the marvel movies but that other guy that looks like him
Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper meet thanks to Bradley Cooper being a desperate alcoholic who doesn't give a hoot where he gets his booze from...

oh fuck and it's actually a magical sort of moment. 😍
im worried this movie will make me a lady gaga fan for real

she's coming off as pretty damn charming
LADY GAGA NO PLEASE DONT SEDUCE ME IM NOT READY FOR THAT
oh god damn it did Bradley cheat on his wife with lady gaga? i know there was rumors about that but now that im here watching this movie i understand why
"YOU HAVE TO MEET HER"

oh god i love that cliche line
lol
MY BOY BRADLEY MOVING IN FAST ON GAGA
DAMN
Why the HECK does Lady Gaga wear all these elaborate outfits and shit when she's hiding THAT gorgeous face beneath it all?
YA KNOW, covering these scenes under the allure of alcohol ALLOWS THE WRITERS TO DEVELOP CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS FASTER? at least in this case it feels like alcohol is being used as a writing shortcut
It's super weird that Bradley Cooper's character has this fascination with different parts of Lady Gaga's body, like her nose and her eyebrows

no clue WTF that means, story wise. maybe he's just a goofball
"Look, talent comes everywhere, but having something to say and a way to say it so that people listen to it, that’s a whole other bag. And unless you get out and you try to do it, you’ll never know."
"I gotta take your picture." ok
*PUNCH*
WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY
wew
this movie has some nice wide shots or whatever it's called
this one on one conversation they're having about his childhood feels authentic
i can't describe this chemistry they've got going on

there's no words for it
"Hey!"
"Whaa."
"I just wanted to take another look at you."

IM WRITING THIS DOWN FOR PICK-UP LINE POSTERITY SAKE.
Ok so Lady Gaga is like Snow White for these seven dwarf drivers
So this hearing problem Bradley Cooper has is a thing
this long shot, walking up from the audience sits, is supposed to make the viewer consider the "SUPERSTAR" vs "EVERYDAY NORMIE IN THE AUDIENCE" theme they've got going on in the movie
"Hi. Bradley Cooper is thirsty for you and wants you to come to his show. We're pretty much demanding it."
"DO IT, girl!"
Lady Gaga doesn't give a FUCK that Bradley Cooper is famous, because of his drinking problem

(This sentence is an example of where a comma changes EVERYTHING.)
(or else it'd be: Lady Gaga doesn't give a FUCK that Bradley Cooper is famous because of his drinking problem)
Lady Gaga realizes her job SUCKS and gets into the car and drives from the darkness to the light
Lady Gaga brings along a sidekick to make the whole thing not as weird
In terms of music skill, this movie is AT LEAST GOOD AT PRETENDING believably that Bradley Cooper is talented.

I don't know how special effects and shit work when it comes to this, but the optimist in me says there's some genuine musical talent from him going on here.
That's a big ass crowd. The movie wants you to know this.
See?

After a sexy musical number from Bradley Cooper the movies cuts back to this shot and more properly reveals THAT'S A BIG ASS CROWD.
"LISTEN WE'RE GOING TO SING THAT SONG YOU TOLD ME AT 3 AM IN A PARKING LOT"

"IN FRONT OF THIS BIG CROWD"

"RIGHT NOW"

"SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER"
Bradley Cooper physically pulling Lady Gaga off into the deep end and away from the shallow ground
🎶Tell me somethin', girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there somethin' else you're searchin' for? 🎶
🎶Tell me something, boy
Aren't you tired tryna fill that void?
Or do you need more?
Ain't it hard keepin' it so hardcore?🎶
🎶I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface where they can't hurt us
We're far from the shallow now🎶
if this movie is propaganda to make me love Lady Gaga it's working
Cuts back to crowd, this time showing the both of them on stage too, to show they've "made it"
Lady Gaga is treated as a hero for conquering the stage
AND they properly hook up, finally. almost 45 mins into the movie.
WHOEVER THIS CHARACTER IS they're playing a good father figure
The chemistry SELLS THIS MOVIE.
It's amazing. I've never really seen anything like this. But the fact Cooper and Gaga connect so naturally in this film? MAKES IT PERFECT.
Lol it just got funny seeing this b/c Bradley Cooper plays the Raccoon in Guardians of the Galaxy. so it's like Gaga is kissing that
Bradley Cooper's character grew up here

They make this kind of shot to make the location feel more mysterious and sacred
OH WAIT NEVER MIND THERE'S MORE TO IT
*punch*
"YOU SOLD DAD'S RANCH? THEY TURNED IT INTO A FUCKING WIND FARM!!"

OMG IS SAM ELLIOT HIS BROTHER!?!
ok this movie just got another layer of INTERESTING added to it 🤯
Crowd shot again

movie won't let you forget that dynamic of the story
After some montage we get an IMPORTANT MOMENT where Lady Gaga is pressured by Bradley to do some sort of song, and the stress makes her DRINK
Crowd shot

this time to show they're falling in love with Lady Gaga's performance
"YO! I wanna scoop you up from Bradley Cooper and milk your talent solo."
If I was able to smear donuts on Lady Gaga's face i'd be so happy
I just want to point out the fact that Bradley Cooper got to do SO MANY naughty things to Lady Gaga

like, WOW
and FUCK it's so wholesome because he's there comforting her

i mean that's better than sex sometimes
ok i think i figured this movie out.

it's like PORN, but for your feelings
THEY BOUGHT A DOG

AND IT MAKES ME JEALOUS

ID LOVE TO LIVE OUT IN THE NOWHERE WITH A CUTE DOG AND LADY GAGA
IMAGINE TAKING A BATH WITH LADY GAGA
shit would be SO comfy
WHY DOES BRADLEY COOPER STILL LOOK SAD

IF I WAS FUCKING LADY GAGA I'D BE ECSTATIC
COCAINE FROM A BOOT?

BUT WHY
STOP HYPNOTIZING ME LADY GAGA

I GET IT

IM WEAK TO YOUR CHARM
DON'T CHANGE LADY GAGA SHE'S BEAUTIFUL
This dude is basically saying to Bradley Cooper "Lady Gaga's pussy is your home"
BUT BRADLEY COOPER DISAPPOINTED HER

WHY

SHE'S GOOD TO YOU, BOY

MAN UP
"I want to put my face into your chest and take a nap"
(marriage or something)
"Less dew dis shiit Las Vegas style and get y'all married TODAY"
FOR REAL YO
"DEW YOU LADY GAH GAH, COMMIT THE ACT OF HOLY MAT-RUH-MOAN-EE TO BRADLEE COOPER?"
*single tear*
if lady gaga asked me to marry her i'd probably say yes

i don't know it seems like the gentlemanly thing to do
"SNL. Season finale. Alec Baldwin hosting."

oh god that's horrible. is this movie a tragedy?
“If you don’t dig deep into your fucking soul, you won’t have legs.”
A Star is Born is a propaganda film that will hypothesize you into becoming a Lady Gaga fan

This is a warning and cry for help because i have been brainwashed
FATHER FIGURE COMES BACK
seriously lady gaga isn't even human she's genetically engineered to be superior in every way possible
THEY GREW LADY GAGA IN A SCIENCE LAB
She's becoming more famous in the movie because ITS LADY GAGA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

EVEN WHEN SHE ACTS AS A CHARACTER THERE'S SOME UNIVERSAL FORCE THAT'S WORKING IN HER FAVOR
"you've just been nominated for three grammys"

THIS ISN'T EVEN A MOVIE ANYMORE IT'S A DOCUMENTARY
bitch i'd be crying too if i was nominated for a grammy
Take a bath WITH HER

IT'S LADY GAGA
NO DON'T FIGHT
They made up from their fight and because it's Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper with their STRONG chemistry, i actually feel like it means something.
one of the messages of this movie is about the damage of alcoholism when it comes to the OTHER people in a drunk's life.
oh fuck his hearing is getting worse
oh fuck he's gonna do some big performance and it's gonna go bad i just know it

im not ready for this

i don't wanna feel Sadley Cooper for Bradley Cooper
he's got this look on his face and it's making me nervous
GAGA WON THE GRAMMY THO
I GET SO ATTACHED TO MOVIES I FEEL SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT DURING MOMENTS LIKE THIS
OH CHRIST HE PISSES HIMSELF

Bradley Cooper pisses himself
I'm just powering through this scene im so damn anxious now for some reason
Holy moley forget the shallows.

we're at rock bottom of the ocean.
AND SHE'S SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM 😭
💔
don't do this to me Bradley.
Lady Gaga tries to bring Bradley Cooper on tour with HER. But this agent prick says no.

Basically the roles of Gaga and Cooper have completely reversed now.
oh god even old man is crying
"You almost single-handedly DERAILED her whole career, do you understand that?"

SHUT UP
"Just by staying married to you, she looks like a JOKE. It's embarrassing."
"Hey!"
"Whaa."
"I just wanted to take another look at you."

💔😭
what's he doing?
WHAT'S HE DOING?
OH FUCK THERE WAS THIS SCENE EARLIER WHERE BRADLEY COOPER TALKS ABOUT HIS DAD'S SUICIDE ATTEMPT AND ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no
Gaga performs Shallow by herself

Lights are on
Lights go off

💔
"Jack said music is essentially any note between twelve octaves. Twelve notes and the octave repeats. It’s the same story told over and over. All that the artist can offer the world is how they see those twelve notes. That’s it. He loved how you see them."
The End
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHRHRGRGRGRRRGURBHJB EORWPSOJWPJORGWOIRGWSGODEWPGOHEPW09GJEDPOKSD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0924QU8T63095JRGHWPE09UJ0PWHRGW" -- @ladygaga archive.is/Zsp45
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