, 8 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Oh come on, Alyssa. “I apologize to those I harmed with my words. I had good intentions but I understand that intentions aren’t enough. I pledge to do some listening and to work on being the ally that I know I can be.”

That’s really all you had to say. This ain’t it.
This is literally why I said the other day, when you get checked, don’t spiral. Take the time to be irritated in private and then come back ready to keep pushing. Defensive never works and alienates the people you claim to be fighting for.
you still have time to fix this. Don’t dig in. Delete those tweets and issue a better apology, @Alyssa_Milano. People are forgiving, but not when you dig in and make it worse. Learn. Grow. It’s a process. If you’re serious about being an ally, it’s a process you should welcome.
look, if cishet white allies only want to listen and pay attention to folks who cheerlead them, that’s fine.

But you’re doing yourself and the people who care enough to check you when you’re out of pocket a disservice.

It’s no skin off my back either way. 🤷🏾‍♀️
And it’s not just cishet white folks. I’ve been checked before for using terms like “spirit animal” or saying shit like “wandered off the reservation.”

Was my first impulse annoyance? Of course. I consider myself an ally. I don’t bear ill will towards native people. 1/2
But if someone gave a shit enough to tell me that what I was saying or doing was harmful to a marginalized group, then I should be thankful they took the time to tell me and I should try to do better.

It’s the easier course of action: Apologize. Listen. Be better.

~jazz hands~
It’s humbling and it really does go against human nature which is to defend and double down. But if you can get past that, you will gain more trust from those you say you’re trying to help.

And the people cheerleading you and saying “don’t worry about it” will be on board too.
Last bit of advice: Get off Twitter for a couple days.

This place will only get in the way of what you’re trying to do because people will be angry and they may not be nice about it which will in turn make you angry and more inclined to say fuck it. I don’t need this. I’m out.
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