, 10 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
i had to stop scrolling through tumblr (looking for screenshots for a piece) because it made me so sad. kids are literally teaching themselves to apply cognitive distortions to 100% of their thinking. if you werent already, using tumblr socially will make you depressed.
every post, meme, and discussion is just entrenched in depression-causing distortions and it is so heartbreaking to watch. even more upsetting is the fact that i was literally raised on that. i used tumblr since i was 13, which is the same time my depression started
i originally got depressed because i lost all of my friends at school, but now in retrospect i think using tumblr solidified my depressive thinking in a way that truly changed me for life. i believe i can recover, but i am so upset that i went through that.
its not just that everyone is posting negative things about their lives and emotions, but its that they extend that thinking to everything else. and it breeds. its social contagion in and of its self. you are literally trained to think like a severely depressed person.
scrolling through my little fake tumblr dashboard where i follow mostly trans identified teens and discourse blogs, it was so depressing to see how absolutely convoluted everything going on in these kids heads is. and that i was like that for FIVE FUCKING YEARS.
is recovery from that even possible? i think so. people recover from cult indoctrination, abuse, and worse all the time. but i just feel like from a really young age my brain was trained to think in a very negative way and now, even when life is better, i cant escape it.
dependence on external stimuli, victimhood, seeing the world as a constant battle between your small group of "good" people and the millions of people who want you dead, group think, interpreting everything that happens as the worst possible scenario,
blowing discomfort out of proportion and pathologizing everything, being extremely upset by small, irrelevant, events/posts, viewing recovery from mental illness as a myth perpetrated by privileged neurotypicals. its just awful. im so upset for myself that i have to undo this all
i know its not true, but i feel like my brain is permanently broken. like, in my most formative years i spent all my time in this really messed up community and all the normal things everyone goes thru bred like a virus within me to a point where its just how i think now.
and tumblr has over 400 million accounts. call me dramatic but that site is the worst thing that has happened to young people overall in a long time.
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