I've used up the last of my resources and all I got was an Ingram so let's talk about GuP.

I actually have no idea what happens in this episode. I know there's at least one breather episode before getting into the Pravda fight so let's see if this is the one.
To blogpost real quick: Last time I went to the hospital was when I was a sophomore in high school. I collapsed for some weird reason and split my chin open and got like eight stitches. Hospitals aren't very fun.
Ah, old people. Stubborn bunch they are.
> tfw you show up at your friend's house and their parents immediately start yelling at him but you can't just leave because you went all the way over there so you just like sit awkwardly on his couch and wait
This is Mako's grandmother. I can't actually remember what her name is at the moment and twitter is so restrictive so let's just call her Obaa-san or whatever the Japanese use. She's quite the firebrand.
I mean, I would still be worried about the grandma. Obviously no one wants to have a friend lose a family member after all.
Since this is a breather episode, that means this is gonna be more focused on the characters sooooooo
Mako doesn't have low blood pressure, Obaa-san probably just sucks the life force out of her whenever she needs to. Would explain a lot.
This goes by really quickly but I actually really enjoy the contrast. The little girl you expect to have more energy has none and the grandma you expect to have no energy has too much.
It's probably an easy thing to defend Mako in this situation considering Mako is one of the most competent people on the team, but given Mako actually has people to defend her it's a nice thing to see.
Hey, Mako can surely go professional, you just gotta believe.
The look of these flowers seems more lively. Considering Hana brought these ones in, surely she arranged these ones too.
Miho takes care of everyone, obaa-san, don't you worry.
MR AZIZ IS GONNA FLIP IF I FLIP THESE PIZZAS
BREAKING NEWS: GuPpie has comfy sleep on Saori's lap. Nothing bad happened.
It's that old people strength. Some people are just too stubborn to die.
I actually really love that Mako isn't a 2D emotionless character. And I really admire the motivation of actually wanting to take care of her grandmother, as crabby as she is. Family's family after all.
And look at the countryside, gorgeous.
Oh it's worse.
Seeing as how Mako doesn't seem to have any siblings or extended family, it's like Grandma had to raise Mako. Saori was probably the only other friend she had as well.

It isn't just "family is family", it's repaying a debt of sorts I'd say.
It's low-key, and I probably mentioned this before, but the artists of GuP really nailed down environments very well. It's not just for the tank fights, it's also for the world at large. Nothing feels empty or wasted. It feels like a living breathing world.
As for family, it's yet another thing for Miho to reflect on to herself. Seeing as how she's estranged for her own, seems family issues really resonate to her deeply.
So quick tangent about the Leopard 2, the Leopard 2 utilizes a Rheinmetall Rh-120 120mm cannon, which is actually smoothbore. When we think of smoothbore, we think 18th century combat with muskets and stuff. But lots of modern tanks these days utilize smoothbore cannons.
Chief thing about it is that smoothbore cannons are easier to clean and maintain than rifled ones, and smoothbores as well handle KEP much better than rifled ones (KEP are already fin stabilized and they're too long to be aided by rifling).
There was an episode of Top Gear where Jeremy Clarkson introduced the Challenger 2 as being great for having its rifled cannon but if anything, the Challenger 2 is the weird one because a lot of MBTs these days use smoothbores. And unfortunately, we have to thank the Russians.
Unlike other tanks of its day, the T-62 was armed with a smoothbore cannon that fired KEP rounds that could in theory at least do damage to the Allied tanks of the time. So yes, please thank the Communists, as much as it pains me to.
If anything, Saori is the only one so far with the least amount of worries in their life. IIRC the LN adaptation of GuP was from her perspective so curious to figure out what's going in her life aside from thirsting over dicks.
Oh God no it's even worse.

Nothing stabs at my heart worse than arguments right before someone dies. I just read Mieruko-chan this morning and I don't need this dang it.
There's always that feeling of "what-if" when it comes to stuff like that. That can weigh heavily on someone's mind.
And that brings us to this here flashback.

Note the saying behind them.
Meet Mom-of-the-year Shiho Nishizumi, head of the Nishizumi Household.

Don't worry, you're not gonna like her now but you're gonna like her later.
There's no context yet for this flashback but we're going to find out exactly what it means later.

Shiho isn't wrong to say that however. Some of the greatest battles were won on the backs of those who fell upon the sword after all.
What makes a good commander is how you handle those sacrifices. Napoleon after Austerlitz for instance personally adopted the orphans of his fallen soldiers and sent pensions to their widows.
You can definitely tell though that given what's happened to Hana with her mother and Mako's own mother as well, things are taking a toll on Miho.
> Saori will never attempt to carry you on her back

why even live
Hey, that's what I did all throughout K-12 and my nascent college career. Can't be tired if you're -always- tired.
You can start to see why people thought of GuP as yurishit.
OH THAT'S WHAT HER NAME WAS
It's nice to see the girls getting appreciation for their efforts. And it doesn't even seem to be forced either like at a pep rally or anything!
They even got a balloon too!
Goddamn it Yukari stop reminding me of things I can't have.
Even Hana and Saori are in on it too.

And Mako.
Lesson #1: Excuses are as powerful as the words used in them.
ey i know my girl ain't a snitch
You know, as convenient as it is, probably not a great idea to eat on the engine block. I'm a bit of a messy eater anyway so maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.

It's just, sometimes I have to eat my in van and inevitably I drop something.
Cool as a newspaper is, where did these shots even come from? Is there a Drone flying around the battlefield that takes these pictures?
Miho not giving herself enough credit as usual.
Yukari's probably speaking from the experience of not having anyone to have fun with in the first place, but the idea that even the St. Gloriana match was fun to her is an amazing thing given how it went.
Saori pls.
This isn't something unique to Miho. I'm sure everyone knows the kind of guy in school that seems to win at everything and gets all he can get. But the minute he runs into a challenge that actually beats him, he's flustered and can't figure out how to proceed.
And that's how Yukari knows Miho.
This is probably wrong, but I enjoy how the flashbacks to this scene almost look like they're in sepia tone, as if its an old war movie.
This Panzer III takes a few shells and wheels left to avoid them, but in rainy weather on muddy rocky terrain like this, it starts to slip off the track and down.
Into a rushing river.
And worse yet, the Panzer III actually starts to tip. I've established before that the inside of WW2 tanks is dark with maybe some internal lights. Imagine being inside of that Panzer III in the middle of a rainstorm during a very dark day and now water is flooding in.
I'm gonna be going on a long tangent here, but let me explain how dangerous a situation like this can be. One of the worst situations you can be in when it comes to this is losing your orientation underwater. They train specifically for this in rescue courses in the military.
If you lose your sense of where you are and what direction anything is? Good luck evacuating before you drown. And inside a cramped tank with the ammo probably falling out of their racks, various things poking and shoving at the girls in near pitch black darkness?
That brings me to another thing too, Senshadou matches are clearly observed. They have judges, Der Film establishes they have air surveillance, and even recovery vehicles ready to pick up tanks as soon as the match is over. They -maybe- have rescue vehicles for this.
But for Miho, it's not soon enough.
And as you can see, it was Pravda they were fighting as well. Note too the Panzer III in back trying to get around but failing due to the slippery terrain.
Miho dives in to rescue the tank, even after suffering kind of a hideous slipup of a fall. The Tiger (217, Carius' number) now doesn't have a commander.
This is something I actually want to elaborate on. What Miho did neither cost them the match nor was it even particularly pointless. It may have been pointless in that sense that rescue teams would've been on the case but that didn't matter to Miho.
If Miho had stayed the course, that means leaving people to potentially drown in a river for what, the tenth victory on a decade long streak? Another trophy on the shelf? Nothing is worth that on her conscience.
As the XO as well, Miho was personally responsible for those people as well. If they did survive and won the match, how could she ever face them? "Oh, there's the Commander who let us almost drown to win a match." Sure, Kuromorimine is all about victory, but forgiving that is...
And this is going to be -very- important when the time comes. Miho may not have immediately ordered anything to her crew. But there's four other people in that Tiger tank.

Not ONE of them did anything. Miho leaving was harsh. But them doing nothing in the face of losing is worse
No counterfire, no reversing to let the Panzer III eat the shot, not even a smokescreen. I would say the real villains of GuP were Miho's Tiger crew that let her be the scapegoat.

Not a single portion of this incident was her fault in any way.
I've talked about Senshadou's mythic contradictions before: It's a team sport powered by individuals. The individuals in Miho's tank chose to do nothing and lost the match. Miho the individual chose to save the Panzer III crew.
And trust me, I'd be thankful for a leader that gave enough shit about me to risk not just life and limb, but a milestone consecutive title as well for my sake.

That's how you inspire people in the end.
the new in joke

I'd like to be part of one, one day.
The idea that there's more than one way to do Senshado is an underappreciated one because you might probably assume "get best tank, be best crew, win". But as I've stated before, Senshadou is a martial art, and martial arts are open to interpretation over the times.
Do your best, Miho.
You know, this is probably one of the few times in any CGDCT series where the Student Council actually works. It's very confusing and I don't like it.
[Pizzas being baked in the distance]
Hey, you guys remember when all we had on Anchovy and Anzio was the manga? Those were good times but I'm glad we got the canon rendition.

Also lol at the four shadowy silhouettes but only two canonical XOs.
And we come to an eyecatch.

I've been on these tangents before, but we're finally getting into the meat of why Miho has been a basketcase. If winning is really all you know, it's really hard to handle losing at something. It didn't just affect her mind you, but the family too.
There's gotta be talk about what happened at the match, whose fault it was (and clearly somehow the crew of that Tiger pinned it on Miho and likely escaped scot-free), and that doesn't present a great picture of how Miho's family looks.
As stated before, if you're nothing without it, you'll never be enough with it. If Miho had at that moment decided that winning the match was more precious than helping her fellow tankers out, what would she be like?

The answer of course is Maho. But we'll see her later.
It's times like these that remind me that Ooarai's team at their heart are just a gaggle of goofy goobers and it's lovely.
IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER MONTAGE HOWEVER
They still can't hit for shit though, except for surprisingly the Type 89.
Saori still lookin plump though.
Given what we see, Miho isn't wrong. And quite a few of them add costumes and weebery to the ranks.
Honestly I'm surprised this moment didn't come sooner. You know what I'm talking about.
The "not everyone at once" moment. The moment where everyone competes for your attention.
CHOTTO MATTE who dumps a girl for being into Senshadou? That's like dumping a girl because she likes to stay home and do housework.
Thankfully Miho's crew is willing to step in to pick up the slack.
It's always a sign of a healthy working team relationship when everyone is willing to pitch in.
Reminder: The StuG III was part of the Sturmartillerie and was classed as an assault gun designed to support infantry.
SORE DA
I'm one of those unfortunate suckers that can't do anything right if there's no instructions. So Mako just telling me to read the manual is something I'm familiar with.
It's okay, Saori, you have lots of boyfriends in the doujins. It's all lewd but it's something.
The tank is the only boy she'll ever have.
"Good things come to those who wait."

Only communists and people who are afraid to take risks say that but it is a good saying.
The flower really is a nice touch. It's just one, but it looks pretty nice.
No joke, I've been called "Steve" at work for nearly two years by a few coworkers of mine purely because I look like a former coworker that was named Steve.

I gave up trying to correct them.
Anzu melts my heart despite being a smug little shit.
While the way they forced Miho into Senshadou is detestable, the fact that Miho is now for the better of it at least vindicates the action. Not to say they're not wrong obviously, but everyone's at least getting what they want and need from it.
Miho's not wrong to say that the tanks they have aren't up to snuff. They were good for the times they were in, but only the StuG III and maybe the Lee is good enough to go all through the tournament. Saunders is the wake up call they needed, not all teams are gonna be pushovers.
You know, given the size of the school and the fact that it's mostly run by cute girls doing cute things, I'm not really surprised that they just -lose- tanks and forget about them later on. Dumber things have happened.
It's a sight to see such dilapidated structures on something as huge and advanced as Ooarai but then you remember most of the staff are cute girls.
This is essentially like using a dowsing rod or some shit.
Karina, ever observant.
I actually like that they don't dwell too much on Academyships in the main series. They're fucking huge and they help facilitate the main plot and they help add a "this is not your world" element to GuP. Much in the same way that Kotobuki mostly takes place in a desert wasteland.
You know, given the look of the one on the left, I'm pretty sure that girl's not a girl but is in fact a guy in disguise.
This is elaborated more in the booklets that came with the BDs (which /ak/ helpfully translated), but basically yeah, Senshadou started out before WW2 with tankettes. We'll get into those another time but goes to show how old the sport is.
Listen, Yuzu, you only -just- found out there were more tanks on the ship. In all likelihood, there's probably like an old Landship or something being used as a smokehouse for all you know.
Anzu is probably saying this to be a sage or some shit but we all know it's because she's lazy.
So what we have here being used to hang laundry is a 75mm KwK 40 L/43 (IIRC). This is the type of gun that the StuG III is armed with, and the Panzer IV as well when it was first beginning modifications into a true general purpose medium tank.
And the cutie patooties themselves find a Char B1bis.
> even the cute girl refuses to be associated with Field Marshal Montgomery.

@Danontg , Yukari's shooting shoots at your people.
She's much more receptive however to being referred to as Guderian, as in Heinz Guderian, one of the fathers of armored warfare and blitzkrieg.
Now that we're at this point though, it's time we actually learn a little bit about the B1. It was one of highlights of the incredibly poor armored force of France. And as they stated, it does have 60mm of frontal thickness and a 75 and a 47mm. But, that's where the good stops.
See, the Char B1 features a 75mm, but it only has 1 degree of traverse side to side. The 47mm resides in a turret built for one person, so the Commander has to do the gunning, loading, etc. The cupola wasn't great to see out of and you couldn't even use it as a hatch.
The 47mm featured only APHE, no true AP shells, and was more of "shit we forgot" thing because the B1 was originally designed to be an SPG before someone realized that it might have to fight tanks. This turret is a similar or even same one used on the Char D2.
The improved B1bis adds a bit more armor and a longer 47mm gun but there were still other problems with steering handling as well problems with the comms not working right. The shortlived B1ter fixed at least some of these issues but didn't make it in time for the invasion.
Despite all of these issues however, the fact that it was heavily armored meant that it was one of the few nuts in the Invasion the Krauts couldn't crack. At the time, the biggest gun mounted on any one of their tanks would've been the shortie 75 on the Panzer IV or the StuG III
While many B1s were lost to enemy action, they put up an amazing fight. To the point that the B1 "Eure" took on 14 or so Panzers, and walked away intact with 140 non-lethal hits to its hull. It eventually was scuttled by its crew.
B1 tanks were usually eliminated by indirect fire from much bigger guns, towed 88s, or air strikes during the invasion. But individual B1s at that time tended to bully the fuck out of the Krauts until their destruction.

For a tank with a lot of problems, it was pretty good.
With that however, the team rallies up to examine their loot. The B1 is in surprisingly good shape for having sat in a puddle for probably nigh-on twenty years or so. It even has all of its tracks.
While it would be a good excuse for a "Saori is every second Lieutenant ever", getting lost inside a ship is a perfectly valid excuse. It's a whole different beast from land navigation and I'm not just saying that because sometimes I got lost in my high school sometimes.
It'd be a lot scarier on an Academyship as well. Those things are fucking massive. Who's to know if someone got lost on there before cell phones were a thing and were never able to find their way out again?
> Miho
> Doesn't flinch when tank shells are flying right past her head
> Looks constantly pissed off in the middle of tank battles
> Is scared by a random sound
You gotta have nerves of steel if you want to man that gun after all.
Like I said, Academyships have been in service for decades. Imagine getting lost before they invented cell phones.

Academyships must have a strong haunted house game.
Doing the proper thing and -staying put-. The last thing you want to do when you get lost is call for help then try to navigate your way out of the situation. No, stay put, let help come to you unless you're directly in danger.
For some of you, this is probably the first time you've noticed Saki. While the rest of her team flounders around being cute and shit, Saki just stares at nothing.

She's just standing there.

MENACINGLY.
Saori, if you've been floundering around with choco in your pocko, that shit's gonna get melted. I once put a piece of chocolate in my pocket once and forgot about it and it melted in like an hour.
Note, this is a front on perspective of the Academyship. Academyships IIRC are basically built into blocks then put together like giant Legos. What's more, given how high these ships are built, there's probably more floors and levels these girls haven't touched.
Trust Yukari to have tank cannon fire as her ringtone.
Guderian is kind of an obscure guy so it's understandable Mako don't know who he is.
I actually have a compass exactly like this. Mine is a Model 27 Cammenga. The little gadgets are for showing azimuth and sightlines and what not. Still works pretty well.

Brings me closer to my tank waifu.
It really is because compasses like those really shouldn't work on a ship. They need to be specially calibrated to ignore the ship hull. Tank compasses work the same way.

Source @jan_toorops
And they're finally found.
wait what the hell is that in the background
Saori already being a Mommy before she finds a husband.
If I were in her position, I'd take what I can get IMO.
OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD
Unfortunately the rest of it is a bath scene and Twitter is too sensible so instead you're getting pictures of random tanks while I describe the rest of this stuff. The entire team is in the baths together.
Momo informs the team that while they've found a new tank and a new gun, they won't be ready in time for the match with Anzio. A shame but it's understandable. But they'll at least have a chance now in future matches. Then she hands the floor to Miho.
Miho stands up (Brave given that she's naked) and just shouts "LET'S DO OUR BEST"
And then they just win.
Yep, that's Italy for you. So incompetent at warfare in WW2 that they don't even deserve an entire battle arc. Though they do get their own OVA which I'll get to in just a minute. This was out and out a breather episode meant to let you get to know the characters a bit better.
One thing I should mention is that I do kind of agree that whenever GuP focuses on things that aren't tanks, the series does kind of grind to a halt. However, that doesn't make it bad, there's quite a lot of hidden gems of characterization there if you're willing to look.
They've had to cram in quite a bit into 12 episodes, so it's not surprising that they wouldn't have the time to go deeper into the characters and do all the tank battles they wanted to in one season. It's a difficult thing and I'm glad we got the result.
That said however, let's quickly talk about Anzio. I imagine the whole schtick of only giving them 5 seconds of attention before moving on is just a joke, but they do have an entire OVA for themselves.

And instead of doing the next episode, we're going to do the OVA instead.
So catch me on the next retrospective whenever that is, and we shall see you then. There will be quite a bit to discuss when it comes to Italy's armored components.

See you next time.

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More from @GermanSchteel

May 25, 2020
Hey hey, people. Schteel here. It's time to mute me because we're returning to Das Finale 2 and reaching the climax of what I think is possibly one of the best battles in GuP so far (barring Der Film) at least.

We'll dive right back in. To recap, it's Ooarai vs Chihatan. Image
Given the sunset, Chihatan has been fending off Ooarai's attempt to seize the high ground for more than a few hours at least. Aside from eliminating the Sharks in the Mark IV, their piddly rounds do nothing except halt Ooarai's progress.

A far cry from well... Image
Well, you know. Image
Read 152 tweets
May 16, 2020
It's time for Das Finale 2! Welcome back to "why am I even still following this idiot" and today we're gonna start taking a look at Das Finale 2 of Girls und Panzer.

Where we last left off, the engagement for Ooarai went south against a surprisingly united BC Freedom...
>had Ooarai entrapped on a bridge with no cover and no room to maneuver
>didn't manage to nab a single kill

Well, they scared them at least.
To recap: This is Marie, leader of BC Freedom's Senshado team.

I wouldn't ask where she manages to keep fresh cake inside of her tank. That definitely was not the cake she was eating in the previous chapter.
Read 121 tweets
May 9, 2020
Hey, hey people. Remember when I said I'd be back soon watching Das Finale 1 and we never got back to it for like a month and a half?

Well, we're back. Welcome to GermanSchteel's "mute this idiot's twitter" fest and we're returning back to Das Finale 1.
To recap: This is the Ooarai vs BC Freedom Academy Flag match. Ooarai has added one Mark IV tank to their arsenal under the command of their resident pirates.

However, because there still has to be tension to this fight, Momo is in charge. God help them.
For Miho, it's just business as usual at the office. But remember, she's now -merely- the XO for the team now.

Of course, Ooarai is under the impression that BC Freedom is in the middle of one of France's daily schisms. As they do.
Read 96 tweets

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