, 21 tweets, 15 min read Read on Twitter
I am proud to present the updated ladybird story of #Brexit the story of a heroic national triumph
It is true that some are bored Shitless of #Brexit but contrary to the claims of remoaners this boredom will disappear and there will be renewed enthusiasm once people realise that this is just the end of the beginning there is 10yrs of 10x more intense #Brexit to come
Some say #Brexit deferred is brexit cancelled but this would be surrender to naysayers. @DominicRaab famed brexiter plans to celebrate #Brexit day by jumping off a high building with wings to disprove so called experts who claim this will not allow him to fly to a soarway future
Up and down the country preparations are afoot to seize the opportunities of #Brexit here some patriotic Brits show the bright post Nissan, Toyota, BMW Mini, Jaguar landrover and Honda future of car making
Freed from the shackles of EU labour and human rights laws many are looking forward to the return of traditional working practices. Here a peasant on Jacob Rees-Mogg's land looks forward to the return of serfdom
Yet #Brexit is forward looking as well as reactionary leading Brexiters were mocked by remoaners for promising trade deals worth 10x the EU single market on the absurd grounds that this would be 2x world Gdp here the promise is being met by seeking trade deals with other planets
Children are looking forward to liberation from the shackles of child labour laws and look forward to being able to earn a wage at a tender age. This will free them from the brainwashing schooling of leftie remoaner teachers who might teach them #Brexit is a bad idea
Yet whilst the return of child labour will free our young from the wrong kind of education they now receive at school it is equally vital they receive the right kind of schooling to equip them for #Brexit to this end here are kids at EDL summer camp learning to hate foreigners
At EDL summer camp our young will learn how to track refugees and what to do when they find them. Without these skills our young might blame rich and powerful brexiters for whatever goes wrong with #Brexit so teaching them to hate refugees is vital
Yet whilst #Brexit is thought of as a rightwing project it would be wrong to ignore leftwing brexiters or lexiters. Lexiters have shown that the crypto communist EUSSR is also an ultra right wing corporate neo liberal playground so none can doubt THE EU is very bad indeed
The Messiah of lexiters is @jeremycorbyn who to his followers is known a Jezzus here he is seen converting a remainer to the faith of Lexitism in one Cuntry
And the messiah Jezza is not alone other Labour politicians are doing their bit for #Brexit here barry gardiner shows the future of ship building whilst one time Blair babe Caroline Flint shows how to keep warm in the bright but central heating free #Brexit future
Yet despite the universal enthusiasm and spirit of national unity that #Brexit has created It has been delayed. @theresa_may & @jeremycorbyn are united in delivering their vision of a Turnip nation so why is this?
#Brexit delay is the fault not of Brexiters. those who talk Britain down and spread the disease of doubt are 2 blame. this has afflicted even true believers here Peter Oborne searches 4 Brexit Benefits under a microscope but can't find any. fact and truth threaten faith
Some remoaners make absurd claims about #Brexit such as the idea that Donald Trump will shaft Britain in a trade deal on the specious grounds that he's screwed lots of people on deals he's done
The correct #Brexit attitude is shown by true believers such as nadine Dorries. Dorries does not know of any #Brexit downsides and has faithfully avoided finding out about any. It is such people who will be instrumental in the success of #Brexit
The key to #Brexit is faith and trust in Theresa May by applying a blind fold one can ignore any heretical facts and so be relieved of any doubts worry or anxiety that the remoaner fear mongers of #projectfear are ever ready to push
Yet sadly Theresa may has failed to abide by #brexit through faith alone and by failing to ignore unpleasant facts and paying attention to naysayers like the business community she is becoming overwhelmed by a Chamber pot of shite
Faced with Unpleasant truths @theresa_may could simply make stuff up. There is an entire industry of #Brexit pundits that will tell her its wonderful yet she listens to naysayers like the CBI
Instead of ignoring the naysayers @theresa_may is digging herself a bigger hole by listening t them and this is threatening the glorious #Brexit
As a result our dear leader is having a #Brexit nervous breakdown and is hitting the bottle. Most of this is the fault of remoaner saboteurs but she is also to blame by having insufficient faith on #Brexit and thus is why there has been a delay
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