guys
GUYS
PSST
the coolest thing just happened
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(Apologies for the bad photos -- used the zoom lens but it was both through a window and throw brush.)
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*grass shake*
*faint shadow of fuzzy butt, like a shark, but cuter*
Entirely possible I have become Tony Soprano with the ducks. What will I do when these foxes leave? I'm in my early 40s too oh god WILL IT FORM IN ME A CLOT OF EXISTENTIAL DREAD
oh well!
ANYWAY I SAW THE FOXES AGAIN
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WOE
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repeat THE KITS HAVE BREACHED THE PERIMETER
(three kits went to the door of the writer’s shed — I’m not in it right now, but I watched them from the house)
(pics in the morning)
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a) some kind of forest magic gauntlet of power
or
b) one of the kits fought and slayed some kind of nightmarish SLASHER KILLER in the woods and has now given me this glove as a trophy
THE PUPS HAVE INFILTRATED HOME BASE
REPEAT: THE PUPS HAVE INFILTRATED HOME BASE
WE HUMANS ARE COMPROMISED
THIS IS THE FOXES’ WORLD, NOW
WHEN THE FOX DAD WANDERS RIGHT BY THE DAMN WINDOW. Like, right out on the inside of the flower bed, next to the porch. Just doo-doo-floo-dee-doo, out for a stroll. I figured he was hunting. And then...
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More pics soon. But I gotta go pick up my car and pay them a thousand dollars because cars are bullshit and money is bullshit.
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foxes foxes foxes foxes foxes foxes
WOOOOOOOO I'M ALL JUMPED UP ON THAT BABY FOX ENERGY BOY
JUST HIGH ON NATURE
SO CUTE
BUT ALSO A WHIFF OF THE PREDATORY
I WANNA SNUGGLE IT AND THEN TRAIN IT TO TEAR THE THROAT OUT OF MY ENEMIES
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Listen I’m sorry this has turned into NATURE TIME WITH YOUR WEIRD FOREST UNCLE but the foxes make me post this stuff
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But then as I'm creepity-creeping along, another kit -- with a dead mole or mouse in its mouth! -- trots up past me (about 2 feet away).
(initially I typed that as LI'L FUXXHEAD which is a very different mood for this critter)
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FOXBABBIES RULE WRITERTOWN
next time you see me I will likely be just a skinsuit full of foxbabbies
I know you were all wondering
WHAT IF IT WAS
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you cannot stand it
you are crushed beneath it
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UNLOCK THE LOCKS
HE NEEDS YOUR SOCKS
THE KNOCKING FOX
THE FOX KNOWS THAT
YOU’RE IN THIS BOX
HE THINKS IT ROCKS
THAT YOU HAVE SOCKS
GIVE HIM THE SOCKS
THE KNOCKING FOX
UNLESS YOU’D LIKE
A FOXY POX
(It was by my shed door.)
THE FOX IN THE FLOWERBED, a new story from me, coming probably never because I just made it up
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I mean, I like our UPS guy, but bad timing
THAT'S IT
SHUT THE INTERNET DOWN I HAVE THE BEST PHOTO THERE IS NO BETTER PHOTO AND NOW YOU ARE ALL D E A D FROM THE CUTENESS, YOU HAVE EXPIRED, IT'S OVER, GAME OVER, YOU CANNOT WIN AGAINST THIS
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YES, gods yes, I want to open the door and invite them in and they all mouse pounce into my open hugging arms and we tumble and they definitely don't eat my face and it's amazing
But I damn sure wanna open that door
