Thread by @junmyeonbi

Seho!au🔞

Sehun's uni tutor is an A+ student, always well dressed, abiding the rules, never seen at parties, innocent nerd. Sehun believes he's the most boring man on the planet.

That's it until he visits an underground tattoo parlor and bumps into an unexpected certain Someone

Gonna be NSFW at points

Written from Sehun's perspective (still using 3rd person tho!)

Other characters include Red Velvet Members

Switch!Seho

Going to include potentially triggering content, will add TWs accordingly

Sehun

~22
~In his last year of University, studying business. He hates it and he's barely passing his classes.
~Pastel!boy
~Best friends include Jongin, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Seulgi, Yerim

Junmyeon

~26
~Finishing his business management masters degree.
~According to Sehun his wardrobe is only ugly turtlenecks.
~In the volunteering scheme in his uni for tutoring younger year students
~Sehun doesn't know much about him aside from that

"I don't understand why you have to go"

Jongin sighs into his starbucks cup. They're sitting in the shop that's right in the middle of campus, surrounded by other university buildings. Sehun is drinking his coffee slowly, taking his time.

There's still half an hour before he has to go, so he isn't in a rush.

"I told you already." He rolls his eyes, putting the phone in his hand down on the table after checking the time. "I can't fail this year. I barely scraped by the previous two, and this is the final one."

The final year meant whatever Sehun ends up with, that's his degree forever. His employability depended on how he did this year around, and he really didn't want to end up working in a shitty firm, sitting behind a desk 9 hours a day for barely no money.

"But today of all days?"

Jongin's pouting now, them puppy eyes of his be damned. Sehun usually could never say no to a pouting Jongin.

"Jongin-ah" Seulgi chimes in then "It's not like he's skipping the whole thing, chill out."

Sehun is thankful for the girl's interruption, as he's pretty sure some

more of Jongin whining and pouting would have him drop all of his plans all together.

"I know, but it's Kyungsoo-hyung's celebration outing. He got promoted! We're celebrating!"

"Jongin, I will literally just be like an hour late. I'm sure I won't miss that much, yeah?"

Jongin gives up with a sigh and slumps back into his seat.

"Besides I'm sure you'd rather pick him up from work yourself, so you two can make out in the parking lot again." Seulgi wiggles her eyebrows at Jongin, who snorts out a laugh and punches her lightly on the arm.

"Stop, we almost got caught!" there's a small blush on his cheeks. "No more making out in the parking lot! He's not out at work, and I'm sure there's better way of coming out to your coworkers than them catching you making out with a dude."

"Do you think they really don't know?"

Sehun takes another sip of his coffee.

"A twink in crop tops picks him up from work every now and again, and he slides his hands across the twink's abs as a way of saying hello. Believe me, they know you're fucking."

This time Sehun is the one getting punched.

"Yah! I hate you both, honestly."

"Okay, twink" Seulgi throws Jongin's way.

"What is this discrimination? There's nothing wrong with being a twink!" he's faking indignation which Sehun can tell by a small smile hiding on his lips. "Twink pride!"

He's definitely being too loud, as a girl walking past them at that time gives him a weird look. As soon as she's gone the three of them snicker.

"Whatever. You," here he's pointing at Sehun "are just jealous because I've got a hot as fuck boyfriend, and you," his finger is

pointing at Seulgi now "are bitter because Sooyoung doesn't even know you exist."

Sehun rolls his eyes while Seulgi leans back, eyes closed, with a hand on her chest.

"Ah. Deadly shot! How could you be so cruel you monster."

"Anyway, speaking of hot men"

Jongin's attention is back at Sehun while Seulgi is still pretending to be dying in the background. "How is tutoring with Kim Junmyeon going?"

Sehun thinks for a second. Yeah, Kim Junmyeon is attractive, that was for sure. But that was it, really. He wasn't even Sehun's type.

Too short, too plain, too... boring, really. He shrugs.

"It's been going alright. He's a bit awkward, but he's smart, so I guess that's alright." They only had one tutoring session so far, Kim Junmyeon was just checking all of the knowledge he had so far.

He tried telling a joke, that was more awkward than funny, and then proceeded with laughing at it by himself, not detered by the fact that Sehun was just looking at him with a grimace on his face.

"I still can't believe you have to see him today of all days, but alright."

"He can't reschedule. Apparently this is the only time a week that he's free."

Jongin scoffs.

"As if. That man just sits at home and studies, it's not like he's going to any parties or anything. He doesn't need a job either, his parents are loaded as fuck."

"Well, I don't know. Maybe he does like, nerd stuff. Volunteering in the library or something, whatever, Jongin, he's my free ticket to passing this fucking year."

Seulgi finally finishes pretending to be dying from Jongin's earlier remark and chimes back into the conversation.

"There's a lot of rumours about him around"

Sehun raises a brow

"Rumours?"

"Yeah. You know how he always wears long sleeves? And like, things around his neck?"

Sehun thinks for a second. It's true, he never saw Junmyeon without some long sleeved top, usually a turtleneck.

"I heard that he has burns, like, all over his body."

Sehun frowns. If that's true, he feels bad that Junmyeon feels the need to hide them.

"No" Jongin intercepts "Apparently he's like deadly allergic to the sun."

Sehun rolls his eyes. Oh alright. So there's multiple rumours.

Which means people don't know for sure and are just guessing.

"Stop it. Those are literally just rumours. But even if either of those was true, what does it matter?" he taps the lid of his coffee cup, irritated. "Rumours are poison. Leave him alone."

Both Jongin and Seulgi actually have the decency to look guilty. They were both there when a nasty rumour about him got spread in high school. The two of them were the only ones who were still his friends after that.

Sehun doesn't want to think about it.

"I'll ask him today, if you're so curious." he adds, just to try and lighten the atmosphere. "I'll try and be sensitive about it too. I'm sure he gets asked all the time anyway" he shrugs. "Anyway, how are dance classes guys?" he changes the topic quickly.

They look grateful for that, as they start animatedly about the training.

Both of them study dance as their degree and Sehun has always been so jealous.

Every time he danced he could feel the endorphins running through his body, he could feel /alive/.

But his parents unlike Jongin's and Seulgi's, did not think that happiness and feeling alive were important in life. Employability and living skills however, were, so Sehun had no choice but to follow a degree he hated, while watching his friends follow their dreams, /his/dreams.

He tried not to feel bitter about it and support them. It helped that at the beginning of University they made another friend, Chanyeol, who was also stuck in a business course even though he didn't want it. Although, even Chanyeol convinced his folks to let

him do a double major, business and music.

Sehun didn't have that much luck. According to his parents dance was a waste of time, just a stupid hobby.

So sometimes it was hard not to feel a bit bitter when after hours and hours of sitting in class, listening to boring people

talk about boring stuff, he would meet up with his friends and they'd both be out of breath, sweaty from practice but with the biggest smiles on their faces.

"By the way." Jongin brings his cup with the green tea up to his mouth and takes a sip.

"We've booked the studio again for Tuesday." he's smiling at Sehun softly. "Made sure it was after your lectures, too."

Ah, yes. This helped too.

Sehun sends them both a big, grateful smile. They knew him so well, knew exactly what he needed.

"Great. Can't wait."

They talk about their days for a little bit more, as Sehun slowly finishes his coffee.

"She's just... So hot" Seulgi sighs at one point while talking about how she saw Sooyoung just earlier, while acting students were waiting for the dance students to leave the stage, so they

can start their practice. "I just want to talk to her at least once"

"I know this may come as a shock to you, Seulgi," Jongin slurps the rest of his tea and puts the cup away "but if you want to talk to her, you could just... come up to her and say hi"

"Unrealistic. Blocked."

Jongin rolls his eyes.

"This isn't twitter, this is real life, you can't block me."

Seulgi looks up with raised eyebrows

"Blocked AND reported."

Sehun laughs at both of them. Then his alarm starts going off.

"That's me guys, gotta go." he stands up and grabs his bag.

He looks at Jongin who's pouting at him again.

"See you later, yeah?" he tells him and the dancer nods.

They say their goodbyes, with more whining from Jongin about Sehun having to go, and then Sehun is on his way to the tutoring room that Junmyeon booked for them.

When he comes in, Junmyeon is already sitting at the table, reading a from a piece of paper, his glasses on his face.

"Ah, Sehunnie, come on in" he looks up and smiles. His eyes look so small through the lenses that Sehun just wants to laugh, but then the tutor takes them off.

Suddenly it's hard to pretend Sehun doesn't find him attractive.

He walks up to the table and sits down by it, opposite Junmyeon.

"How was your day, Sehun-ssi?" he arranges the papers laid out in front of him in a stack.

Sehun shrugs.

"Aight" there wasn't much to it, really.

But Junmyeon seems like he's waiting for more, so he adds "Went to lectures. Ate lunch. Met my friends. Came here. Nothing exciting happened."

"Hmmm, is that good or bad?"

"I mean..." he scratches the back of his neck.

"Could be more exciting, but also it's not bad to have a slow day, I guess." Why was Junmyeon always so nice? It made it so hard to dislike him.

"Deffinitely not. Especially during the craziness of your last year." The way he always keeps eye contact is very distracting.

For some reason Sehun isn't able to keep it back, instead looking at the pair of glasses in Junmyeon's hand, that the man is playing with.

Junmyeon takes a paper from the top of the stack and puts his glasses back on. It's much easier to look at his face now.

"I had a look at the little test you did here last week." he scans the paper quickly, and then takes another few. "And as you gave me permission to look through your learning records, I had a look at all your essays and assignments, too."

Holy shit, when Sehun signed that little

permission slip he never thought that Junmyeon would actually go through any of them, never mind /all/ of them. From the thickness of the stack it really looked like he meant all, as in since his first year on the fucking course.

Sehun suddenly feels ashamed.

Junmyeon slides his glasses down so that he looks at Sehun from above them, his expression serious. Sehun swears it's nervousness that makes his heart skip.

"Do you actually want to study business, Sehun?"

Ouch. So it was that bad, huh?

"Listen, I know I'm stupid, but-"

"Oh, god, no!" Junmyeon looks taken aback and guilty. "You're definitely not stupid. That's a legitimate question." He picks up another paper "Those essays, they're not bad, they all passed, they're just... Stale. As if you're dreading every sentence you put in them."

Sehun blinks a couple of times. That about sums it up. He really was dreading every sentence he had to write.

"Even the first one, from year one." he continues "It seems like you were already burned out while writing it. Even though your course didn't even begin properly."

He's back to the first sheet of paper now, scanning it again.

"And the test we did last week... You don't know many basic terms and themes from the first years, but know the ones you learned more recently." he frowns his eyebrows at something he sees on the test.

"Seems like you learn as you go along, but as soon as you don't actively need the knowledge anymore, it leaves your head."

Sehun stares now, not understanding how Junmyeon could deduct everything so correctly just from a few essays and assignments.

"So, what I'm asking is, do you like what you're studying? Do you /want/ to study it?"

He wants to snap at Junmyeon and tells him it's not his fucking business, that that's not what he's here for. But something about the genuine expression on the man's face stops him.

He takes a deep breath.

"I hate it" he starts slowly. "I don't want to do it. But I have to."

Whenever he talk about it, his friends look at him with pity.

There's no pity in Junmyeon's eyes, just understanding.

"Parents?" he asks.

Sehun nods.

Junmyeon takes a deep breath, followed by a hum.

"Well..." the glasses are off again. God damn it. "There's really two options here. I could try and help you learn all the material they give you and the old one you're missing. It would take most of your free time to learn it."

He's focused now, looking at something that looks like scribbled notes in his notebook.

"And when I say that, I mean you'd have to study every day, at least 8 hours a day, including weekends."

Well, shit.

"What's the other option?"

Junmyeon smirks, he actually fucking /smirks/. Sehun's body temperature rises.

"Well. I could teach you how to get good grades by... Taking advantage of the system"

He stills.

"You mean like... Cheating?" he knows cheating on tests is very risky, and he doesn't know if he's

willing to sabotage all of the work he already put in this course in the previous two years.

"Not always. Although, sometimes. Depending on the teacher and the test." Sehun never thought Kim fucking Junmyeon would advise him cheating on a test.

"But other than that, I have some... tricks. I did the same course you're doing, know my way around it" he shrugs. "You'd still have to study, of course. Just, nowhere near as much." there's a glint in his eyes as his smile stays playful.

"What's the catch?" he asks.

He laughs. It's the laugh that makes his eyes disappear, turning them into crescents instead. His face scrunches as his mouth opens wide. He looks like an actual real life emoji.

Ridiculous.

There's a funny feeling in Sehun's stomach, Junmyeon's laugh ringing in his ears.

"Well, the catch is, you won't know business. So you won't get far in that line of work. You'd have to either settle on not advancing far, or choosing a different career path" he explains, eyes still shining with amusement. "So, the choice is yours. What would you prefer?"

Sehun can't believe what he's hearing. Kim Junmyeon, the same Kim Junmyeon that secured a scholarship in his first year of his masters degree, who Sehun is pretty sure finished the year with the best results out of his year, was telling him to 'take advantage of the system'?

"You will get a good starter job though. With good pay. Better than all the ones that pay you close to nothing for 8 hours out of your day."

He had to say, it sounded tempting.

"I..." Well, its not like Sehun suspected he would get far in the business line anyway.

And this was way better than ruining a year out of his life so he can do something he hates for the rest of it. This way he can still enjoy that last year of freedom, and then focus on getting his life together after.

"Yeah, I like the second option better."

Junmyeon grins.

"Great! I can go through some of the basics that you definitely need with you today, and in the future we can move on to-"

"Do you like it?" Sehun knows it's rude to interrupt, but the question was gnawing at the back of his brain since Junmyeon revealed that he knows 'tricks'.

"Hmm?" he tilts his head, looking like a confused puppy. Cu- Erm.

"Do you like business?" he follows up quickly, as a distraction from his brain coming up with weird adjectives to describe Junmyeon with.

"Ahh..." the older chuckles under his breath.

"I like it enough. It helps that I know it will get me where I want to be in the future." the glasses find their way on his face again, as he's taking a ring folder out of the beg that's next to him on the floor. "But enough about me, let's focus on the task at hand!"

For the next hour and a half they go through basic concepts and key words, some of which Sehun knows, some of which he remembers learning but not the meaning. Most of it though, is like learning new material, even though Junmyeon tells him that it's all from his first two years.

If he thinks Sehun is stupid for not remembering or understanding some concepts, he doesn't show it. There's not a sign of irritation or annoyance on his face for the whole way through their session, no matter how many times Sehun asks him to explain again.

They're both packing their bags, at the end. Once Junmyeon is standing up and Sehun sees how short the man is again, something makes him feel calm. That's right, Junmyeon was short. Short, boring, with a smile that scrunched his face up and glasses that made him look ridiculous.

"Which way are you going, Junmyeon-sunbae?" he asks. Just to make sure they're going their separate ways, of course.

"Call me 'hyung', Sehun-ah" here's that scrunchy smile, and god, that's that for feeling calm. There's no pretending that that smile does something to him.

"And I'm going just out and then to the parking lot."

The parking lot is on the way to Sehun's dorm room. It's right in front of it, actually.

"That's right outside of where I live" he says and mentally face palms.

"Let's walk together then?" Junmeyon suggests.

Sehun nods. Well, he kind of got himself in this situation in the first place by not shutting up. Oh well.

They leave the classroom and walk towards the steps instead of the lift.

They're halfway down when Sehun starts speaking.

"Hyung?"

Junmyeon looks at him.

"I was just wondering, why do you keep on wearing long sleeves?" only when the words leave his mouth does he actually realise how nosy that is. "I mean, you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

Junmyeon laughs and Sehun looks away, not to see the crescents.

"I'm anaemic" there's a tilt of amusement in his tone. "I'm just always cold, see?" He grabs Sehun's hand with his own and it's true, his hand is quite cold. Sehun focuses on that, instead of the skip his heart does.

"Oh" well, that makes sense. Sort of. In a way.

But even if it didn't, it's the explanation Junmyeon is willing to give him.

They leave the building side by side, making their way to the parking lot.

"Any plans for the rest of the day?" Junmyeon sounds like he's genuinely curious, instead of just being polite.

"I'm going to see my friends. My best friend's boyfriend got promoted to be the head chef, so we're having a small celebration."

"Sounds exciting" Sehun doesn't even notice he followed Junmyeon all the way to his car. "Hope you have fun, Sehun-ah. See you next week!"

He gets in his car before Sehun even has a chance to ask him if has any plans back. He only manages a small 'bye hyung' before the doors shut.

He's watching the, quite nice looking, black car drive off, and then he turns around to where his dormitory is.

It's quiet inside, but it's because his roommate is Chanyeol, and he's definitely already in the restaurant, getting drunk with the rest of their friends. It shouldn't take Sehun long to take a shower and change clothes though, so he does just that, booking an Uber in between.

*

The Uber is a bit late, so he gets to the restaurant later than he was supposed to.

"Oh Sehun, you're late!" Jongin's loud and accusatory voice greets him the moment he comes up to their table, behind the curtains that seclude the the VIP area from the rest of the restaurant.

He already sounds tipsy, and once Sehun locates him and finds that his legs are swung across Kyungsoo's lap and his arms are around Kyungsoo's neck, he confirms that Jongin definitely has some alcohol in his system already. This was the reason they usually

got private tables in restaurants, once the two of them got a bit of alcohol in their systems, they couldn't keep their hands off of each other.

"But I'm here now!" Sehun looks around the table and the only free place is between the clingy couple and Chanyeol.

He tries not to visibly sigh, as he sits himself down.

There's two people opposite him that Sehun doesn't know, although one of them looks awfully familiar for some reason.

"Oh yes, Sehunnie" Kyungsoo look at him then, and takes his hand off of Jongin's visible

stomach (and /of course/ Jongin wore a crop top) and points at the two men in front of him.

"This is Jongdae and Minseok. Jongdae is the guy that did my tattoos and Minseok is his boyfriend"

He shakes both of their hands, his eyes lingering on the guy named 'Minseok'.

Minseok, Minseok... As well as the face, the name also seemed familiar. Where did he...

"Ah!" It suddenly comes to him, as he recognises the man. "You're a youtuber!" he remembers his ex boyfriend, Luhan, watching his videos sometimes, years ago. "Xiumin, right?"

Minseok raises an eyebrow but chuckles.

"In the flesh" he drinks the beer from his glass, eyeing Sehun curiously. "I assume you're not a subscriber?"

Sehun smiles sheepishly.

"Ah, no, sorry... My ex boyfriend used to watch, like, all of your videos though."

Minseok laughs, and Jongdae, who was in the middle of a conversation with Yeri, looks over just to glance at his boyfriend's smile and smile too.

Sehun thinks they're cute.

They all get along quite well. Just a few beers later Sehun is joking around with everyone, including

the two new additions to the group. They both seem to adapt so easily to the group dynamics, Sehun wonders why they weren't introduced earlier.

"God, I can't believe she got a tattoo" Seulgi whines from next to Chanyeol, pouting at her phone. Her face is red and Sehun knows

she's probably quite drunk by now. "As if she could get even more hot."

Sehun immediately knew she was talking about Park Sooyoung.

"Damn, that /is/ hot" Chanyeol comments, after leaning over to look at Seulgi's phone, so Sehun looks at it too.

"Wow, that's like... Exactly the style I want" Sehun takes the phone out of Seulgi's hand despite her protests and zooms in. The flowers are so delicate and seem to blend in with the skin so well. Every time Sehun randomly came in to a tattoo studio and showed what he wanted,

the artists usually said that it would have to have a black outline, even just a thin one, but Sehun really didn't want that. What he wanted was a pale, delicate looking, edge-less cherry blossom flower, just above the crease of his elbow.

"Jongdae" Kyungsoo says right next to him, and Sehun startles, not realising that the man was looking over his shoulder. Then he takes the phone from Sehun's hand (Seulgi whines even louder) and shows it to the tattooist. "Would you be able to do something like that?"

Jongdae's face changes from playful to a focused one as he studies the picture.

"No, I don't think I could pull it off. Tattooing with those kinds of colours and without the outline, it's... challenging." Sehun sighs at the words "But!" Jongdae continues and Sehun perks up again

"I do know the person who did this exact tattoo. He's a close friend of mine, actually." he points to the phone and then Sehun grabs it again to look at it and sure enough, there's an instagram linked below the photo.

He clicks on the name and gasps as he sees the pictures.

The tattoos are amazing, they're so pretty it takes Sehun a moment to realise that Jongdae is still talking to him.

"He really is talented, but he's usually booked months in advance. But, well, since we're friends now, I can tell you" the corners of his lips curl up even more.

"If you go there on a Sunday, and tell them Jongdae send you, he will most likely tattoo you right there and then" Jongdae sends him a wide smile. And well, he's drunk, but Sehun trusts that he's telling the truth.

He browses the instagram page again, trying to find any sort of

information, but finds only names under pictures. Some of the tattoos are done by someone called "Irene" and others, the ones exactly Sehun's style, are done by a 'Suho'.

"There's no address" he points out and then blinks at his empty hand when Seulgi takes her phone back.

"Ah, yeah, there's a lot of, uhh, secrecy around it. It's kind of underground." Jongdae takes another shot of soju and Sehun decides to follow. "But there's this flower shop in Hongdae, called 'Joohyun's flowers'. If you go in there and ask for Suho, they'll know what you mean."

"Flower shop...?" he asks with a confused frown on, just to make sure he heard that correctly.

Jongdae laughs.

"The perfect cover, isn't it? Nobody suspects when they walk into a flower shop that there's heavy needle action going on just downstairs."

Sehun winces at the phrase 'heavy needle action', not entirely appreciating the joke. Needles sound painful and Sehun wasn't that big on pain.

'Joohyun's flowers', huh? He looks at the skin on his arm where he wants the tattoo to be.

He might have his Sunday plans sorted then.

***

Even though he wanted to have his tattoo done as quickly as possible, waiting till Sunday turns out better for him, as he spend the whole Saturday curing his hangover.

After his little talk with Jongdae they continued drinking and Sehun might have gone a little overboard,

as he can't remember getting back into the apartment. Apparently Chanyeol gave him a piggyback ride to the cab and then from the cab back to his room, for which he teased him as Sehun winced at the brightness in the kitchen and the loudness of the clock, while taking aspirin.

And now it's Sunday morning, and Sehun is standing in front of an innocent looking flower shop in Hongdae. It's not big, not by a long shot. There's flowerpots filled with pansies, begonias and daffodils, all different colours, right underneath a big window through which he can

see more flowers inside. The pale green letters above it say "Joohyun's flowers" in English alphabet, written in a nice cursive.

Sehun takes a deep breath and anxious, but excited, walks inside.

The door opens with a slight creak and there's a sound of a bell right above him.

The sound seems to get the attention of a girl behind the counter, and for a split second Sehun wonders if it's said 'Joohyun' but then to his surprise it's Park Sooyoung that looks back at him.

"Good Morning" She throws a polite smile at him and looks back down to her phone.

"Mornin'" Sehun mummbles back, hesitantly approaching the counter, which has Park Sooyoung looking up again.

"How can I help?"

"Umm, I'm here to see Suho...?"

Sooyoung smiles wider now and reaches under the counter to get some sort of book out.

"Name?" she asks, going through the pages and Sehun realises it's a calendar with appointments.

"Oh I don't... I don't have an appointment."

She gives him a confused frown, smile disappearing.

"Jongdae send me...?" he adds reluctantly, hoping it'll be enough.

Sooyoung raises an eyebrow and stares him down for a few seconds, before closing the book and putting it back under the counter.

"Wait here" she turns around and walks through a door that probably leads to the back.

Sehun sighs, and decides to look around the place.

There's flowers all over, on the floor, on shelves, even some flower pots with leafy green plants hanging off of the ceiling. Even the couple of paintings on the walls are of flowers. It feels good to be surrounded by this much colour, and honestly, he might buy some flowers for

his room in this place. He hopes they come with the flowerpots, the cute pastel patterns on them would definitely match his room style.

"You must be Sehun, yes?" it's a different female voice this time, and Sehun turns around to find a slightly shorter woman smiling at him.

"Yeah, that's me" he smiles nervously, walking up to her.

"I'm Irene" she looks him up and down, and Sehun suddenly feels self-conscious about his outfit. Which, he shouldn't, it's quite tame today, an oversized baby blue and pink hoodie with a Jigglypuff on his chest.

Chanyeol gave it to him for his birthday last year, because apparently he reminded him of one. 'Especially when you're irritated' he said, 'yeah, just like that' he laughed when Sehun frowned at him.

The hoodie was still nice, so he wasn't that mad.

He's also wearing baggy jeans with two cutely drawn bunny heads on the knees. Maybe that's what makes the woman chuckle, as she lingers her eyes on the bunnies.

'Irene'. Sehun remembers that name, that was the other tattooist whose tattoos were shown on the instagram page.

She motionts for him to follow her and starts walking towards the door that Sooyoung desappeared behind before

"I'm... here to see Suho?"

"Yeah, Jongdae told us you may come today. Suho should be here soon, he doesn't usually arrive on Sunday's before eleven." she chuckles

as she leads him to a staircase and starts walking down it.

"By the way, those?" she turns briefly and points at the bunnies on his pants. "He's gonna love them"

Sehun blinks and glances at his pants.

"Do you have a reference picture for your tattoo?"

He gets his phone out of his pocket as Irene approaches a computer.

They're in a place that looks drastically different than what Sehun expected.

The walls are white and the lights make the place even brighter. Probably to compensate for the lack of windows. There's some plants

here too, but no flowers, only succulents and other thick leafed greens. There's two separate chairs on two sides of the room, one surrounded by neatly arranged different types of designs, and the other by messily pinned ones, some only holding by a corner.

The messy station must be Suho's, as the designs are mostly of flowers.

He shows the picture of the cherry blossom flower to Irene and she tells him to send it to her email and to sit down on one of the chairs. Sehun does, looking at all the designs on the wall as Irene prints

out what Sehun supposes is his cherry blossom.

Well, Sehun might as well take off his hoodie, looking as his tattoo is going to be on his arm.

He's in the process of pulling the piece of clothing off when he hears the door open and Irene saying 'Hey Myeon'.

"Hey Joohyun-ah, do you know if- oh, there's a customer already?"

Sehun freezes with his hands mid-air, head still in his hoodie.

He knows that voice. And he knows whose name ends in 'Myeon'.

"... Junmyeon-hyung?"

There's a laugh that also sounds familiar.

"Ah, so it is you! When Jongdae said I'll be tattooing a 'pastel-y Sehun' I thought it might be you."

What.

Sehun doesn't even move, too shocked by processing the new information.

So, Junmyeon. Junmyeon, the same Junmyeon that wears boring turtlenecks and tells awful puns,

works as a tattoo artist. An incredible tattoo artist, from what Sehun has seen. An incredible, underground tattoo artist who tutors him, and whose parents own one of the biggest law firms in East Asia.

"Are you going to stay with your hoodie on your head for the whole process?"

Junmyeon sounds like he's closer now, and there's a tilt of amusement in his voice. And, right, Sehun still hasn't moved. But well, he's still kind of in a state of shock. It just, doesn't make sense.

He finally takes the hoodie of and turns to the side.

"Holy shit, what-"

There stands Junmyeon. But he's not wearing a boring black turtleneck, no, instead he has a simple black T-shirt on.

And well, that wouldn't be that surprising, it's just a T-shirt.

The thing is, both of Junmyeon's arms are covered in tattoos. And by covered Sehun

means /covered/. They start at the wrists, going up, different pieces around each other, and then disappearing underneath the sleeves of the T-shirt.

And that's not even all. Above them, there's some designs on Junmyeon's collarbones, going slightly higher, and then ending on

his neck, not all the way up, but high enough that even a collared T-shirt wouldn't hide them.

And there's a lot of questions coming into Sehun's mind. Like, so many of them. But his brain short-circuits and what comes out is-

"You told me you have anemia"

Junmyeon looks confused for a second before he bursts out laughing. Irene gives them both a questioning look, but doesn't say anything.

"I didn't lie about that, I am anemic" he shrugs "It's just... Not the reason why I cover up"

Sehun nods even though his mind is still racing.

He can't take his eyes off of Junmyeon's arms. before he knows it he reaches his arm out and touches one of the designs. He rubs his fingers on them which elicits another chuckle from Junmyeon.

"They're real"

"They sure are"

He still doesn't take his hand off of Junmyeon's

arm, instead moving it up to touch the tattoos there. And wow, Junmyeon's arm is quite firm. He wraps a hand around the upper part of it absentmindedly. Junmyeon flexes then and Sehun gasps, squeezing his muscle. God, Junmyeon definitely works out, you don't get arms like that

over just being healthy and having a good diet. And the tattoos definitely looked hot on the defined muscles and Sehun can only imagine what those arms could do to him-

He realises what he's doing when Irene coughs quietly. He moves his hand away as quick as he

can and glances at Junmyeon, who only looks at him with an amused tilt to his mouth and a raised eyebrow, probably wondering why Sehun is feeling him up right now. God, even if Junmyeon didn't know that Sehun is gay before, he definitely will know now.

It's so weird to see Junmyeon's face, the same face that scrunches so much when he laughs, that looks ridiculous with glasses on, attached to this body. Sehun has to look away, his head trying to connect the pieces, to make sense of this whole situation, but failing miserably.

Irene hands the printed out flower design to Junmyeon and he looks at it.

"Ah, that's pretty" he puts it down on the table next to the chair Sehun is sitting on, where all the tattoo 'things' are. "Very pretty, definitely suits you"

Sehun blinks. Is Junmyeon saying that-

"You know, with the whole pastel persona." he gestures at Sehun's hoodie that's hanging on the chair "It's going to look good."

Oh, right. It's pretty, and so are Sehun's clothes. Not Sehun is particular. Just his style. God, he needs to get it together. It's just Junmyeon.

So what if he suddenly looks a thousand times hotter, which definitely caught Sehun off-guard, he can't lose his head suddenly just because his buisness tutor is hot. And owns an underground tattoo studio.

"Where is the flower going on, and how big do you want it?"

Sehun points to his right arm, and shows the scale with his thumb and index finger.

Junmyeon guides his arm to prop it on a weird stool with a leathery cushion on it, which Sehun supposes is for the exact purpose of supporting limbs that are being tattooed on.

He leaves for a second to bring more ink over, and also drags another chair close up. He puts the ink on the table, and Sehun can see five different shades of pink, all pale and pastel.

"I really like your pants by the way" he points at the bunnies as he puts latex gloves on,

and Sehun shuffles his feet awkwardly. He can hear Irene giggling in the background.

"I told him you would" she comments. "Show him your bunny"

Junmyeon laughs as he finishes putting in a fresh needle into the tattoo machine. Then he stands up and rolls one of his sleeves up.

Sehun thinks it's absolutely unfair, as he can see Junmyeon's whole, muscly bicep now. His mouth dries.

"Here he is" Junmyeon turns his arm a bit, and right there, under his shoulder is a black and white tattoo of a bunny, standing on it's back feet and... smoking?

"Why is it smoking a cigarette?" Sehun frowns , leaning in so he can see more details.

"It's not a cigarette" Junmyeon says at the same time that Irene says "It's weed"

They both laugh and Sehun just looks between the two of them. This day is just surprise after surprise.

"Joohyun- I mean, Irene designed it. Said it looks like me-"

"It is you" the woman is much closer now, passing Junmyeon what looks like a tub of Vaseline. "I designed it especially with you in mind, you bunny" She boops him on the nose after Junmyeon takes the tub from her.

"You're saying that as if you're not a bunny yourself" He flicks her forehead lightly and she laughs again, going back to sit behind the desk.

They behave like they're quite close. Sehun tries not to think about it too much. Even if they were, it's none of his business.

Junmyeon puts his glasses on, disinfects his gloved hands with some sort of alcohol smelling liquid, and then spreads Vaseline on his upper arm. Now that he's wearing glasses it's even more confusing for Sehun, he feels like it's some sort of weird fever dream.

"Okay, you ready? It's going to hurt a bit"

Sehun nods, already clenching his teeth.

The needle meets his skin and he grimaces, but doesn't flinch. It feels weird, like a cat scratching him, but non stop, and in one place, instead of along a line.

"You alright?" Junmyeon asks, and Sehun realises he closed his eyes, so he opens them, and sees Junmyeon glancing at him, in between wiping the excess ink off of his skin.

"Yeah. It's alright"

Junmyeon sends him a reassuring smile, and goes back to looking at the tattoo.

"So, any particular meaning for this cherry blossom?" Junmyeon asks, probably trying to distract him from the pain. Or maybe genuinely curious about it, after all he is nice like that.

Sehun hesitates. Well, yeah, he didn't only pick that because it was pretty.

Well, yeah, he didn't only pick that because it was pretty. Well, it helps that it matches his aesthetic, but it did have a meaning behind it, too.

The thing is, Sehun really doesn't want to get into it.

"Umm.. It's, uh."

Junmyeon catches on pretty quickly.

"It's cool if it's personal. people get personal tattoos all the time." He looks at the reference picture, squinting a little, and then goes back to tattooing the design. "So, how do you know Jongdae?"

Sehun is glad for the change of topic and he latches onto it.

"My friend is one of his clients. They're close, Kyungsoo invited him to the outing celebratin- Oh my god it's bleeding???"

Sehun only now looks at the actual tattoo since Junmyeon started, and with the excess ink that Junmyeon wipes away now and again, he also wipes away blood.

"It's piercing through your skin. It's going to bleed a bit." He looks up at him with a concerned expression. "Are you not okay with blood? You can look away if you need to."

"No it's fine I just-" and maybe it is a bit stupid that he's surprised that there's blood involved in

the process, it does make sense for it too. "I was just a bit surprised, I guess. You can continue."

Junmyeon looks at him for another second but then continues with the tattoo. He keeps the small talk going, and it makes Sehun feel like it's one of their tutoring session again.

That is until he looks down and sees any piece of Junmyeon's skin that has a tattoo on it. Because then it suddenly becomes hot in the room. Sehun blames it on the lack of windows instead.

And while Junmyeon is distracted with focusing on the design, Sehun let's his eyes wander.

He notices that all of the tattoos, at least the ones that he can see, are done with black or grey ink. There's not even a splash of colour anywhere, and Sehun must wonder if it's a coincidence or a deliberate choice. Maybe there's more colourful tattoos other places on his skin.

He let's his mind wander for a second, looking at Junmyeon's collarbones. The designs on there are simple flowers, just outlines of petals and leafs in black ink, symmetrical on both sides, but Sehun can tell that it goes further down, maybe even onto Junmyeon's chest.

He wonders if there's more tattoos on there too. Or his abdomen. Maybe his back. He probably has a nice back, he is working out after all. His chest must look nice too, a defined abs, firm muscles. He wonders if Junmyeon exercises his legs too. Maybe his thighs are also firm...

"All done!" Junmyeon's happy voice startles him out of his thoughts, and Sehun realises with horror, that he just spend the last twenty minutes not only checking Junmyeon out, but also /fantasising/ about what his body might look like without his shirt on.

Sehun glances down. The design is replicated flawlessly. The flower looks delicate, even if the skin around it is irritated. It's still bleeding though, and it's also a bit darker than he expected.

"It's gonna look a bit weird at first" Junmyeon starts, as if he's reading

Sehun's mind. "The ink is pretty bright so the blood is staining it quite a bit. But it should settle in a few days." He spreads some sort of cream on the tattoo and wraps it in cling film. "If you care for it correctly it's going to heal quickly, too."

He explains how to care for the tattoo and gives Sehun a tub of the cream he used on him earlier. Sehun grabs his hoodie and puts it on carefully, not to rip the cling film.

"So what do you think?"

"It's... I really like it. Thank you."

Junmyeon sends him a blinding smile.

His glasses are off again and Sehun thinks he has no place looking this cute.

"Great! Let me just get you the receipt and you can take it upstairs and pay for it there!"

Junmyeon comes up to the desk where Irene is writing on a piece of paper. She slides it to him when she's

done, and he takes the pen from her and makes a correction. She lifts a brow at him but doesn't comment.

"Here you go." he hands it to Sehun. "So, see you on Friday? Usual time, usual place?"

Sehun can only nod, still having trouble connecting this Junmyeon to the Junmyeon he

meets every Friday to revise business.

Junmyeon says goodbye to him and he turns around to get up the stairs. He can hear Irene saying 'So, he's tall.' and Junmyeon responding with laughter before the door closes behind him, then he's back in the flower shop.

His mind is too unorganised and all over the place than he doesn't remember to look at the receipt before he's handing it to Sooyoung.

She tells him the price and he tilts his head, confused.

"That's.. cheaper than I was expecting." he takes his wallet out and counts the bills.

"Yeah, the friends and family discount is 40%, it takes off of the price quite a lot" she takes the money from Sehun's hand while Sehun can just stand there, still. Friends and family discount? Was that what Junmyeon was writing on the receipt?

He doesn't know why but he suddenly feels a blush on his cheeks.

He leaves the flower shop, even more confused. It's all too much to be processing alone, so he knows what he has to do.

He takes out his phone and calls Jongin.

"Jongin-ah, are you free right now?"

***

"You're shitting me"

Jongin looks at him like he's insane. Seulgi also. It just so happened that the two of them were out shopping together when Sehun called. Now they're sitting in McDonald's, eating their lunch and listening to what Sehun is telling them.

"I'm absolutely serious." Sehun finishes his cheeseburger and follows it up with some diet coke.

"I mean..." Seulgi takes on of his fries and dips it in barbecue sauce. "One of the rumours about him was that it was tattoos... But everyone dismissed it as soon as they heard it."

"Well. It is tattoos And a whole tattoo studio too, apparently."

They all sit in silence for a minute, processing the information.

"God, he's buff too" Sehun sighs, remembering how Junmyeon's muscles felt underneath his hand. "Not like, Chanyeol buff, but still, it's nice."

He's staring at his fries. "The tattoos look nice, you know? When they're on muscles." Maybe Sehun should start working out a bit more. Going to the gym once every week keeps him lean, but not exactly strong. "I bet he's strong."

He hears some snickers around him and looks up

only to find both Seulgi and Jongin covering their mouths and exchanging looks. Sehun blushes.

"What? I'm just saying!"

"Oh, does Shunnie have hots for his tutor~?" Jongin teases and Sehun rolls his eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous, you know I don't crush on straight guys."

"Do you know he's straight?" Seulgi asks.

"I mean... That's the best bet. 90% of people are straight."

Jongin scoffs.

"That sounds fake but okay"

"You would be surprised how many people are bisexual Sehunnie" Seulgi steals more fries from him but he's full already so it's ok.

"Speaking of bisexuals, Chanyeol is going to join us soon"

Sehun fights not to sigh out loud and nods.

"Nice." he says, because well, after all Chanyeol is still his friend. It's just sometimes seeing him is a bit much, especially when his feeling as emotionally confused as

right now. "Can you guys... Not tell him about Junmyeon tho?" he lowers his voice a bit, feeling guilty. "I feel like the tattoos and the studio are secret for a reason, and well, Chanyeol..."

"Oh god, yeah." Jongin nods, understanding what Sehun is getting at.

"If Chanyeol knows, it only takes a day for the whole school to know."

It's no secret that Chanyeol just can't keep secrets. Sehun doesn't hold it against him, because Chanyeol is fully aware of it, and doesn't get mad when people don't tell him things.

It takes Seulgi finishing all of Sehun's fries for Chanyeol to get there. He rides in on his skateboard, and Sehun gets second hand embarrassment when the workers tell him to not do it inside the building.

"Hello to my bestest, most amazing friends!"

Chanyeol props the skateboard against the wall and sits down next to Sehun. He has the biggest grin on his face. He's wearing a hoodie and some shorts that reach just past his knees, which is basically his outfit all year around. Sehun always wonders, both during summers and

winters, how is Chanyeol surviving in this outfit.

"What got you in such a good mood?" Seulgi looks amused at Chanyeol's behaviour.

"I'm glad you asked, my lovely lesbian friend." he reaches out for Sehun's coke and Sehun questions why do people always take his things.

"You know the girl from my music history class?"

They all nod.

Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrows.

Seulgi gapes.

"No way you hooked up with Jihyo!"

Chanyeol smiles triumphantly.

"Oh, yes way! God, her boobs are like-"

"Ugh, straight sex." Sehun groans, making a face.

"Oh Sehun I literally had my mouth on your dick before, I'm pretty sure you can listen to me talk about some titties" Chanyeol rolls his eyes.

Sehun wants to say 'oh so we're talking about it now?'

"Eww, don't remind me" he says instead, avoiding Chanyeol's eyes.

Chanyeol makes an exaggerated offended noise and puts his hand on his chest.

"Wow, that hurt. I can't believe my own friend thinks I give bad head. I trusted you Sehun!" he's jokingly clutching onto his heart in 'pain' now and Sehun rolls his eyes and slaps him on the arm.

"Whatever, enough about that" Seulgi waves her hand at the two of them "tell me more about Jihyo" she rushes Sehun out of his seat so she can sit next to Chanyeol.

"Well, for starters, she's an amazing kisser"

"Going to the bathroom" Sehun mutters under his breath and ignores

the fact that Jongin gives him a pointed look, that follows him all the way until Sehun disappears behind the bathroom door.

He takes a deep breath. The bathroom is, thankfully, empty, so he doesn't feel weird when he runs cold water and splashes some on his face.

He props his hands against the sink and looks at his reflection in the mirror.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

And he's not lying, he know he's not, he's over everything that happened in the spring. But sometimes it still-

The door opens so Sehun starts washing his hands.

"You alright?" it's Jongin's voice. He turns to look at him.

"Ummm, yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he does his best to act like he doesn't know what's Jongin getting at.

"Don't know" he's still observing Sehun carefully. "You just looked like something was bothering you."

And Sehun can't get over the fact that Jongin knows him so well, that even when he doesn't know why Sehun would be upset, he knows something is not right, that something is on Sehun's mind. Sehun doesn't know if he loves that quality or if he hates it.

"Well of course something was bothering me. I needed to pee." he chuckles and comes up to Jongin to ruffle his hair. "You're always worrying for nothing." He links his arm with Jongin's. "Come on, let's be nice friends and listen to Chanyeol's boob talk"

Chanyeol does end up talking about Jihyo's boobs for the next twenty minutes, but Sehun mostly doesn't listen.

Instead he finds himself thinking about Junmyeon. Well, more specifically about Junmyeon's tattoos. He tries to come up with different reasons for why the man might

hide them, as well as his studio. He knows Junmyeon's parents are rich, so it's not like Junmyeon needs the money.

All he comes up with is just different guesses, so he decides to just ask him the next time he sees him.

Which, turns out being earlier than expected in the end.

It's Tuesday and he's in the middle of having a dance session with Jongin and Seulgi. They're teaching him one of the choreography that they're practising for one of their upcoming dance shows and Sehun is proud of himself when he learns it quite quickly.

By the time they take a small break to drink some water, Sehun's body is full of endorphins. He's tired and sweaty but he doesn't care, because this is when he's at his happiest.

"I think someone's here to see you" Jongin says to him while handing him a bottle of water.

Sehun turns, confused, and then he spots him.

Junmyeon is standing by the door, leaning his back on the wall, eyes on him. For a second Sehun thinks that Junmyeon's gaze travels on his body, but it's over too soon to be sure, Junmyeon smiling and waving at him instead.

"Hyung?"

Sehun suddenly hates that he's sweaty. He comes up to Junmyeon, pushing his hair back from his face so that it doesn't stick to his forehead.

"Hey. I heard from your friend Chanyeol that this is where I can find you" Junmyeon starts. He's wearing a turtleneck again, but now

Sehun knows what's underneath it. How did he ever think this thing is boring? Once you know what it covers it's the most exciting piece of clothing he's ever seen.

"I didn't know you can dance."

"Yeah, kinda do it as a hobby" he shrugs.

"You're really good at it."

Sehun can feel a drop of sweat sliding down his neck onto his collarbones, and this time there's no mistaking the way Junmyeon's eyes follow it until it disappears underneath his tank top.

"Anyway" he looks up at Sehun's face again, with the most innocent smile.

"Someone booked the usual tutoring classroom next Friday."

"Oh.. Do you want to reschedule?"

"I can't. My schedule really is full on weekdays." there's a pout on his face. "So I was wondering if you'd be alright coming over to my house instead?"

Sehun blinks a couple of times.

"I have an office-kinda-room in my house" Junmyeon follows up, when Sehun doesn't say anything. "A desk, all the business materials gathered together."

Sehun isn't sure why he feels so nervous about it. It's a normal suggestion, makes perfect sense, too.

"Yeah. Sure, that sounds grool" Sehun mentally face-palms. His brain couldn't decide if to say 'cool' or 'great' and now he looks stupid. "Cool, I mean, that sounds cool"

Junmyeon laughs.

"Grool." he takes out his phone. "Give me your number then and I'll text you my address."

Sehun takes the phone and puts in his number, before handing it back.

"See you Friday, Sehunnie!" he waves again and then leaves.

Sehun looks at the door for some time, before Jongin comes up to him and swings an arm around his shoulders.

"'Sehunnie', huh?"

"Shut up"

***

The week seems to stretch longer and longer.

It doesn't help that for whatever reason he keeps seeing Junmyeon around campus more too. Before he maybe only saw him once or twice, but now it's like he's everywhere.

"It's because you're looking out for him" Seulgi has told him which he pointedly ignored, deciding that Junmyeon probably just has a lot to do around the university recently.

Eventually Friday does come though though, and after taking a subway ride he gets to the neighbourhood.

Sehun glances at the address and then at the building in front of him.

Of course it was in Gangnam. Junmyeon was rich, he shouldn't be surprised that he's standing in front of very expensive looking apartment complex. Still, he feels out of place here.

He shuffles awkwardly in place, looking at the clock.

It's still 13 minutes until the time he's supposed to be there, so there's nothing to do but wait for now.

"Oh, hello Sehunnie!"

There's Junmyeon coming up to where he's standing, smiling at him widely.

"Junmyeon hyung?"

What was he doing outside?

"I was scared I'm late coming back, but looks like you came a bit early" he giggles. "I'm just back from the University." he says, because apparently he can read Sehun's mind by now. "I really like your outfit by the way. The hoodie especially"

He points at Sehun's jumper and smiles.

Sehun looks down at his outfit. There's a minimalist drawing of a bunny on his jumper, which he definitely didn't choose on purpose because he was meeting Junmyeon. He's also wearing black jeans with heart-shaped holes on his thighs.

"Thanks. I try" he sends a smile back and Junmyeon beams.

They get inside the complex together. It even has a security guard and a reception. They take a lift to the third floor and Junmyeon leads him to a door. Instead of a key, the door has a number pad, and after Junmyeon

imputs a code, they get inside.

"Doesn't look like Joohyun is home" Junmyeon mutters to himself and Sehun frowns. Do they live together or something? Are they really that close? He's about to ask when he sees it.

On the wall in front of him there's a photo.

A big, photo in a silver, shiny frame. A photo of Junmyeon and Irene.

Junmyeon is in a black suit, a single pink rose in his suit pocket. Next to him stands Irene, linking her arm with Junmyeon's, holding a bouquet of pink roses.

And she's wearing a wedding dress.

Sehun gapes, taking off his shoes absentmindedly, and getting closer to the picture.

To get rid of all of his doubts, there's a smaller frame next to the big photo, holding a document inside. A marriage license, to be exact, issued to 'Kim Junmyeon' and 'Bae Joohyun'.

"Do you want tea or coffee?" Junmyeon shouts from the kitchen and all Sehun wants is an explanation. He can't stop staring at the picture. Both of them are smiling and radiant.

God, Sehun thought there is a possibility of them maybe being together, but marriage?

Isn't Junmyeon too young to get married? And also to have a whole damn apartment, too? He's still in University for god's sake.

"Sehun?" Junmyeon peaks his head out and Sehun stops staring at the picture and turns to Junmyeon.

"Tea please" he manages a small smile and comes up to where the other man is.

The kitchen is spacious and bright. There's a Breakfast bar, and that's where Sehun decides to sit while Junmyeon sets the water to boil and prepares two mugs.

"How old are you hyung?" Sehun asks carefully when Junmyeon turns around.

"I'm 26" Junmyeon answers, propping himself on his elbows on the other side of the table.

26 is a bit old to be on his second year of a masters degree. To be fair Junmyeon might've done his military

service first or something. Still, that's a couple of years added there.

"So..." he doesn't really know how to go about it. Should he just ask? "You and Irene-ssi, huh?"

"What about me and her?" he turns around when the water finishes boiling and pours it into the mugs.

"You're... Married."

Junmyeon giggles

"Here's your tea." he passes the mug to Sehun "I'm going to get out of this thing" he points at his turtleneck "then we can start our session."

He disappears behind a door, leaving Sehun even more confused. What was with that reaction?

It only takes him a couple of minutes to come back with a black T-shirt and grey sweatpants on, and Sehun suddenly forgets all about the issue with Irene, and the whole thing about Junmyeon's apparent marriage, as he takes one look at Junmyeon's tattooed arms again.

"Let's go" Junmyeon grabs his own mug and starts walking, with Sehun mindlessly following behind.

He decides not to address the matter further, at least not for now. The marriage certificate made it clear, and Junmyeon didn't deny. He didn't exactly confirm it either, but it's

not like it mattered anyway. Sehun didn't have the right to feel the disappointment.

Forty five minutes into the session Junmyeon decides it's time for a short break, and that's when Sehun gets some courage to get a different question out of the way.

He pondered on it for a few minutes, turning on the desk chair he was provided with, left and right, with his legs firmly on the floor, so only his upper body moves.

"So." he finally starts, giving the chair a double spin, like he always does on the library chairs.

"Why exactly are you hiding your tattoos hyung?

Junmyeon looks up, expression curious too. Maybe he didn't expect Sehun to ask that question. Or maybe he expected him to ask a different one.

"My mother is very concerned with what kind off... image I put to the world."

He puts his glasses down on the desk.

"That's why the studio is underground and I don't use my real name while working."

Sehun nods slowly, processing the information.

"Did she... tell you to do that?"

"What?"

"Did your mother tell you to hide the tattoos and the studio?"

Junmyeon starts laughing then, a loud laugh, throwing his head back and everything and instead of annoyed, Sehun finds himself smiling at it.

"No, it's more of my own precaution. She doesn't know about either."

Sehun is in the middle of nodding as a reply, when the words

actually reach him.

"She doesn't know about your tattoos?! But how? You have so many!"

Junmyeon shrugs.

"I don't know. I got my first one at 16, it was a stick and poke done by Jongdae, and it just went downhill from there. I hid every single one from her."

he's still smiling widely, but it's barely reaching his eyes.

"Then when they were all over my arms I started wearing the ugly limb trap everywhere, just in case there's someone she knows there." he's probably referring to the turtleneck, Sehun realises. Hah, limb trap.

"How long are you planning on hiding them then?" he doesn't understand how Junmyeon could live his life like this, hiding such a big part of himself.

"Probably until I move." he looks like it's no big deal, the smile never leaving his face.

"Mother would disown me if she found out, and this house is under her name."

"Wow..." that's not a way to live a life, Sehun thinks, but if Junmyeon got through it for so long and it works for him, he's no one to judge.

"Anyway, enough about me, let's focus on business, yeah?"

They go through essay tips this time, Junmyeon giving him helpful information about different teachers and how much they check if the references are legitimate or not. It seems like a lot of extra hassle can be taken off of Sehun's hands thanks to it.

They finish with another small quiz that Sehun completes in just under ten minutes, and while waiting for Junmyeon to grade it he starts looking around Junmyeon's 'office'.

It looks less like an office and more like a bedroom without a bed in it. There's a TV and a couch, as

well as two bookshelves. Sehun rolls closer on the chair, towards the bookshelves and notices that only one of the carries books, the other is filled with what looks like video games and DVDs.

There's quite a collection of those, he realises, and as he's looking at the titles he recognises some of his favourites. Some of them are games for different consoles, to, so he wonders if the cupboards underneath the TV were hiding the different consoles.

"I didn't know you play video games." Sehun says after Junmyeon shows him the graded quiz.

"I don't have that much time for it usually, but I do try to play from time to time." he starts putting away all of the papers and Sehun knows he should pack his and get going, but

something in him wants to make this longer.

"You have all the tekkens! I only have the newest one." Sehun lets out a sigh. "It's been ages since I played the sixth one."

Junmyeon looks at him for a second, quietly finishing putting his documents into the drawers.

"Well." he starts, taking off his glasses. "It's been a while since I played that game too, to be honest." he takes a look at the TV, tapping his chin with his finger, and then back at Sehun curiously. "Do you have any plans for after this session?"

"Nope" Sehun replies, probably to quickly, but Junmyeon doesn't seem to notice.

"Do you wanna play some Tekken 6 then?"

"Sure" he replies nonchalantly even though this is exactly what he wanted Junmyeon to suggest.

The grin send his way makes him feel a peculiar kind of way, but he decides to push it to the back of his brain for now, as something to analyse later. Or not analyse at all. Probably the latter.

To distract himself from weird thoughts he follows Junmyeon to the couch and

sits comfortably, resting against the back of the couch, while the older puts the game on and then also sits himself down next to Sehun.

"Why do I feel like your favourite character would be Lili?" Junmyeon comments suddenly, controller in hand, passing Sehun the other one.

Sehun opens his mouth in surprise, taken aback by the sudden, and a very accurate guess.

"How did you know?" he can't help but inquire.

Junmyeon shrugs, dealing with logging into his account and setting the game up, not really looking at Sehun.

"You just seem like a Lili guy."

Sehun watches him for a few moments with wonder. Spending time with Junmyeon is definitely proving to reveal more and more surprises about the other man. It seemed almost like every time they talked, a new surprise was just around the corner, ready for Sehun to uncover it.

"What's your favourite character then?" he asks after a moment, bending his legs on the couch, under himself, to be more comfortable. The loading screen comes on.

"Asuka"

"Really?" Sehun's eyebrows shoot up. Another surprise. "But her fighting style is so... boring?"

"Are you kidding me?" the tutor turns to him energetically "Asuka is extremely strong. She's a badass!" Junmyeon looks so excited about it Sehun can't help but follow with a smile. "Plus, her and Lili have quite the story, too."

"Lili and Asuka hate each other, don't they?"

That's as much as Sehun remembers from the two girls' cut-scenes from the game. Lili always wanted to beat Asuka up, and Asuka was never happy about it either.

Junmyeon shakes his head, makes a 'tsk tsk' sound and even goes as far as to wag his finger.

"No, no. You got it all wrong. Lili is completely in love with Asuka, but the only way she can express it is by beating her to the curb. She just... has trouble expressing emotions I guess"

Sehun frowns, unconvinced.

Yeah, he didn't pay any extra attention to any cutscenes but that seemed like quite a stretch.

"That's ridiculous."

"No it's not! I'm gonna prove it" Junmyeon enters story mode and chooses his character as Asuka while prompting Sehun to chose Lili, which he was going to anyway.

They play the game for some time, with Sehun winning most of the matches. Junmyeon is good at the game too, but Sehun spend months, stuck in his university accommodation with Chanyeol, playing the game on repeat. (In between doing other things on repeat.)

The cutscene with Lili and Asuka doesn't suggest much, so Sehun is still unconvinced about their so called 'feelings', until Junmyeon decides to change it to the newest edition of the game instead, because according to him it shows Lili and Asuka's relationship more.

This one has definitely more material to work it in regards to these two, and after some time of playing that one, with addition of Junmyeon's enthusiastic and constant commentary, Sehun has to admit it.

"Oh my god. Lili totally want's Asuka's ass."

"I told you so. They-" he pauses mid-sentence when the sound of keys turning in a lock and the front door opening can be heard.

Sehun immediately stills and then looks at his phone. Shit, he's been here for quite some time now, definitely overstaying his welcome.

"Anyway, as I was saying, they-" Junmyeon tries to continue, obviously not bothered that his wife just came back home, but Sehun definitely wasn't happy about the fact.

It shouldn't matter, and he knows it. He's just here to get help with getting his degree and maybe get a

friend along the way. The fact that Junmyeon is married shouldn't change things.

And yet.

"Hyung, it's quite late now. I should go home." he interrupts before Junmyeon has a chance to say anything else.

Junmyeon pouts at him and looks at the game and then back at him. It seems like he's considering something for a second, but then his usual smile is back on his face.

"Alright, don't let me keep you then." he stands up and Sehun does so too after him.

"Thanks for letting me play Tekken with you. It was fun."

"No, thank /you/. I rarely have a chance to play with someone that's not a twelve year old online or a computer bot" he chuckles and then gives the TV screen another tentative look before turning his gaze back to Sehun.

"If you ever just want to play, even on other days than just our usual day, hit me up." he grins.

"Didn't you say you're a busy guy?" Sehun can't help but tease, with an equally teasing grin.

"Hmm... For you, I might be able to free up some time~" he winks in Sehun's direction

and if not for the shy giggle that follows right after, Sehun could swear Junmyeon was flirting with him. And, well, if not for the fact that he has a wife, too.

Talking about said wife, as they leave the room to get to the front door, they run into Irene.

"Oh, hello Sehun"

She looks surprised to see him, but pleasantly surprised more than anything.

"Didn't think I'll see you here at this time." she sends Junmyeon a look that Sehun can't quite decipher.

"We ended up playing tekken after the session" Junmyeon interjects, walking past his wife

to carry the empty tea cups that Sehun didn't even notice him carrying, into the kitchen.

"Ah" Irene nods with understanding. "I'm glad he has an actual person to play with, instead of fighting children online." she says with a lower tone, so that Junmyeon can't hear.

"Do you not play video games, Irene-sshi?" was this something he had that Irene didn't? Not that it was any sort of competition, but the possibility of having a side of Junmyeon that Irene doesn't, makes him a bit excited.

Bad sign, but for now he decides to ignore it.

"Please, call me Joohyun-noona. You already know my real name anyways, so there's no need for all that." she waves her hand in a motion to further emphasise her point. "And I do, just not the kind of games Myeon plays."

Junmyeon comes back to stand beside Joohyun.

"She plays LoL" he says with a face that shows clear distaste. "Can you believe it? A LoL player under /my/ roof?"

Joohyun rolls her eyes and Ignores Junmyeon's remark.

"Anyway, Sehun, would you like to stay for dinner?"

Sehun looks between the two.

They don't look very touchy now, but Sehun doesn't want to stay long enough to find out if they engage in displays of affection in front of other people.

"Thank you noona, but I'm going to go now." he walks a few steps back, still looking at the pair not to be rude, and starts

putting his shoes on. "Thanks for the game again, hyung" he directs it to Junmyeon when he sees the other opening his mouth, probably to insist. Or maybe not, but Sehun doesn't want to take any chances. Something tells him it would be harder to say no to Junmyeon than to Joohyun.

"See you later Sehunnie" Junmuyeon smiles brightly at him.

"See you hyung. See you Joohyun-noona." he responds and turns around to leave.

He takes his phone out and for a second considers calling Jongin, but quickly decides against it.

No, this is one of those things he's going to have to think through by himself. Maybe he could tell Jongin next time he sees him.

That ends up being a bit later than Sehun expected. because of an upcoming essay deadline, he spends the whole weekend writing and writing,

not really having time to meet with any of his friends. Chanyeol is out for the whole weekend, too, so Sehun ends up having the whole place to himself, which usually he would use to blast music and maybe dance, but now he's writing in the living room, instead of his own bedroom.

What surprises him the most though, is that Junmyeon starts texting him casually.

At first it's just small questions about his essay progress, along with some encouraging messages and emojis that have Sehun laugh. But somewhere along that they started talking about some more

video games, some TV shows and even music. Surprisingly their tastes were pretty similar, maybe not that much music-wise, but with everything else, they managed to breach some mutual topics.

Still, even his Monday is filled with lessons and studying.

Thankfully, on Tuesday Seulgi and Jongin manage to book the dance studio again, and Sehun would never miss that, even if he had 5 different essays to write.

When Tuesday comes around they start their dancing session with enthusiasm, not even putting time away to talk properly.

This seems more important though, just letting his body go, move to the music. He feels as if with every sweat drop it's stress that's actually leaving his body. Jongin and Seulgi teach him more of the choreography, too, which gets a bit harder now, but Sehun can still keep up.

It's during their first break that both Seulgi and Jongin sit in front of him with curious looks on their faces.

"So." Jongin starts "how was your little tutoring session at Mr. Hot Teacher's house?"

"He's not a teacher." Is what Sehun decides to say first. He knows

Jongin is kidding, but still, he feels a bit weird talking about Junmyeon, so he ends up stalling. "It was okay. We, uh, played some Tekken after the session."

"Tekken, huh?" Seulgi raises her eyebrows and gives him a pointed look. "Is that what kids are calling it these days?"

Sehun rolls his eyes at her comment, but doesn't respond, as his phone goes off with a text message sound.

Its a text from Junmyeon. Well, a picture, of two open books, with some notes in front of them, and a coffee cup on the side. He follows it with three sleepy emojis.

Sehun can't help but smile. He's about to take a sneaky picture of the studio, but suddenly the phone is not in his hand anymore.

"You guys text each other pictures? You're already at /that/stage?" Seulgi has his phone now, and before he can even reach for it, Jongin has

him in a hold, laughing at Sehun's struggles to get the phone back.

"Oh my god, give it back!" damn Jongin and his muscular body, he was definitely stronger than Sehun.

"You have him saved with an emoji? That's so cute!" Seulgi comments and keeps scrolling up through the texts.

Sehun gives up on trying to escape and fights the blush threatening to cover his face instead.

"What's the emoji?" Jongin asks, his chest rumbling with laughter against Sehun's arm.

"It's a bunny~" Seulgi turns the phone to show Jongin the name that Sehun saved Junmyeon under.

It was just 'Junmyeon-hyung' and a bunny emoji. It was a spontaneous decision, the emoji was just right there.

"Oh my god, you text a lot" Seulgi keeps scrolling.

"We don't text that much!" He knows that they did exchange quite a few texts but it couldn't be that many.

"Sehun, believe me, for you this is a lot. You only reply to me with emojis and single words" Sehun rolls his eyes at Seulgi's remark, and then again when Jongin agrees with her.

"Whatever guys. Can I have my phone back now? It's rude to leave people on read"

Jongin finally lets him go and Sehun grabs his phone back.

"You care about being rude AND you don't want to leave him on read?" Jongin gasps dramatically."You totally have a crush!"

Sehun really tries to not blush, but the heat creeps on his face anyway.

"Shut up, no I don't!"

"You do! Oh my god, you're blushing!"

"Sehun has hots for the teacher~" Seulgi dropped in in a form of a little song.

Sehun totally didn't have a crush on Junmyeon. Because he knows from experience that crushing on unavailable guys is not fun. And Junmyeon, with being

straight and married, was like, double unavailable.

"I don't crush on straight guys." is all he goes with, turning around so that his friends can't see his face.

"Why are you assuming he's straight?"

"Oh I don't know Jongin" he starts with a sarcastic tone

"Maybe because when I went to his house there was a wedding picture of him and a woman he works with, alongside a marriage certificate?"

Both of his friends look at him silently for a few seconds, blinking rapidly.

"He has a wife?" Seulgi asks first, still looking shocked.

"Yu~p" Sehun puts the stress on the p, popping his lips, to make a point.

There's a pause in the conversation.

"Well, he could still be bisexual." Jongin shrugs, as if that would change anything. "He's giving me a lot of bibes."

A confused frown covers Sehun's face.

"What the fuck is bibes"

"You know. Bi vibes. Bibes."

Sehun pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes with a big sigh.

"Even if he is bisexual, he still has a wife."

"Maybe he wants to experiment though" Jongin puts in again, completely unhelpfully.

"Imagine. You could show him the way of the cock"

"God, Jongin!" Seulgi slaps Jongin on the arm. "We can't encourage Sehun to be a homewrecker."

"I'm just saying!" Jongin puts his arms up in defence. "Maybe he wants to fool around? I never seen him wear a ring, have you?"

Sehun opens his mouth to scold Jongin for saying things like that, but then stops himself.

It was true, he never did see a wedding ring on Junmyeon's finger. He doesn't know about Joohyun though. Plus, that didn't have to mean anything.

"Whatever Jongin."

He decides to just

reply to Junmyeon's text. Instead of just snapping a picture of the studio, he stands up and faces his phone at the mirror. In the background, while still sitting, Seulgi and Jongin automatically reach their hands out with peace signs, knowing that Sehun is taking a selfie.

When he's happy with the result he sends the picture to Junmyeon with some dancing emojis.

A text comes back quickly. It just says 'have fun' but it makes Sehun smile brightly again.

" 'I don't have a crush' my ass" Jongin mutters in the background, but Sehun ignores him.

The rest of the week passes by just as uneventfully. Sehun tries to finish his essay before Friday, so that Junmyeon can look it over and comment about any things that Sehun should fix or change in his work.

And that's exactly what Junmyeon does when Sehun finally comes over

again at the end of the week. Technically the classroom is free this time, but both of them want to play games again after the session, so during texting each other over the weekend (which they do regularly now) they decide on having the session in Junmyeon's house once more.

"It's good" Junmyeon says after reading through Sehun's work, glasses on his face and a cute, focused frown in between his eyebrows. It took him around 15 minutes to read through Sehun's essay, and for some reason Sehun spend all that time watching Junmyeon's face absentmindedly.

"Is it?" he sits up straight, realising that he was leaning his head on his palm, with his elbow against the desk.

"Yeah. It should get between 70 to 75 percent."

Sehun frowns. Yeah, that was enough to pass, as a passing grade was 50%, but it was far from 'good'.

"Sehunnie, 70 percent is a good grade" Junmyeon says, as usual reading Sehun's mind somehow. "You should be proud. You're doing more than enough to pass this year." Junmyeon is wearing a reassuring smile. Somehow it works, and does make Sehun feel a lot better, so he smiles back.

Just like that Junmyeon's own smile widens and his eyes almost disappear.

"Cute" Junmyeon mutters under his breath, but Sehun still hears it. "You should smile more, Sehunnie. It suits you" Junmyeon comments, and Sehun is so taken aback, he doesn't really know how to respond.

"W-What?"

But instead of replying, Junmyeon stands up and walks to the side of the room with the TV.

"We should play some games since we're done!" he says with an excited tone to his voice.

Sehun blinks a couple of times, still

processing Junmyeon's comment, but then he stands up to and quickly joins Junmyeon, sitting down on the couch while the older man picks a game. He's standing in front of the bookcase with games, eyeing them all carefully, while Sehun eyes Junmyeon's arms with the same intensity.

His sleeves are a bit shorter today, so more of his tattoos (and muscles) are visible, and Sehun can't help but admire the individual designs.

"Do your tattoos have meaning?" Sehun finds himself asking.

"Some of them do. Most of them don't"

"Can you tell me some that do then?"

Junmyeon turns to look at him.

"Will you tell me the meaning of yours~?" he's teasing, probably, but Sehun still thinks about it. He looks down at his own, now completely healed cherry blossom flower and wonders.

"How about... We play a video game." he starts.

"If you win I will tell you the meaning of my tattoo, and if I win you tell me the meaning of one of yours?"

Junmyeon considers for a few moments.

"Deal" he says in the end "But if you win and choose a tattoo that has no meaning, you can't chose again until the next time."

"That... seems fair."

They shake hands on their deal and a moment later Junmyeon takes a box off of the shelf.

"Mortal Combat" they say at the same time, both determined. Sehun almost laughs, because Junmyeon could not chose a better game for this. This one is his speciality.

"I'm gonna kick your ass hyung" he says, grabbing the controller.

And after almost an hour of the battle mode he really does. To be honest Junmyeon did win a few of the in-between battles, but in the end Sehun wins by a landslide.

"Ha!" Sehun throws his hands up in triumph

"I told you I'm gonna kick your ass hyung."

Junmyeon gives him an amused look and puts his controller away carefully.

"Looks like I've been defeated" he sighs fake-dramatically. "Okay then, take your pick" he reaches out his arms in Sehun's direction.

Sehun lets his eyes

glide over the tattoos, trying to guess which ones look like they could have some meaning, but all of them look rather random.

"How about the first tattoo you got?" he asks. The first one is bound to have some meaning, right?

"Now that's cheating. You're meant to point to one"

"Come on hyung~" Sehun can't help but whine, sticking his lower lip out in a pout. "I won the game, tell me~" he doesn't even realise that he automatically starts using his aegyo voice, until he hears the amused laugh.

"If you think aegyo will work for me, then you're wrong"

Sehun pouts harder.

Junmyeon sighs.

"Alright, you win"

Well that didn't take long.

Junmyeon turns his hands, so that the inner side of his arms is visible. He points to an English word on one of his wrist, surrounded by other designs and so faint it's barely visible.

"This one says 'Sane'" Then he points to another English word on his other wrist, which looks similar in design to the first one. "this one says 'Strong'".

The tattoos are a bit faded and quite wonky, and Sehun remembers when Junmyeon said that he got them done at 16, by a

stick and poke, by his friend. It explains why it looks quite amateur.

"I got them both at the same time, 10 years ago."

The overall meaning is there, but Sehun still wants to know why Junmyeon got these exact words tattooed on him.

"What do they mean to you?" he asks.

He turns on the couch so that he's sitting facing Junmyeon, and curls his legs up.

"They're a reminder" Junmyeon looks at the words, a slight smile on his face. It's one of those automatic ones, Sehun thinks, as it looks less genuine. "That I'm not what my mother tells me I am."

He looks up and must see the questioning look on Sehun's face, because he continues.

"I was a bit, well, emotional when I was younger, you know? I cried a lot as a kid. And my mother didn't like it too much" he shrugs, expression staying the same. Still a smile.

"I cried a lot and she called me weak every time I did. Or every time I said that something made me upset, or feel bad in general."

Sehun can only listen with a held breath. He can't imagine crying and not immediately being coddled.

Even if his mother has her problems, whenever Sehun cries she would immediately soften and comfort him.

"I also panicked a lot, too. Sometimes when I was stressed it seemed as if the world was closing in on me." Junmyeon continues, rubbing the tattoo that said 'Sane' with

his thumb. "It's funny to think about, I got full on panic attacks over nothing" he chuckles.

Sehun thinks it's anything but funny.

"She called me crazy a lot during those times, which I guess I was a bit" he chuckles again, what about, Sehun has no idea.

"Jongdae suggested those words as a tattoo. He said I am not what my mother says I am. That I'm not weak or crazy." he sits up straighter and clears his throat. "So I decided he's right. I stopped being weak and crazy, I'm not that person anymore."

A full face smile again.

Sehun wonders if Junmyeon interpreted his friends intentions in the right way, if he understood what Jongdae actually wanted to say with those tattoos.

"Sehunnie you look terrified" Junmyeon pokes him on the cheek then with a laugh.

"Sorry hyung, it's just..." he doesn't

even know where to start.

"Your mother, she..."

"She's a bit mean sometimes, but she mostly does things for my own good"

Sehun doesn't think calling your child weak for crying and crazy for showing signs of needing help can class as being 'a bit mean'.

He doesn't really know how to say that though, emotional stuff not being his forte.

"Come on, it's not that deep" Junmyeon laughs again. Sehun tries not to speculate how authentic that laugh is. "let's play some more, yeah?" he turns his face towards the TV again.

He starts setting up the game again and Sehun reaches for his own controller slowly.

The game begins and at first Sehun is still a bit distracted with Junmyeon's earlier admission, so he loses a few games in a row. Junmyeon starts teasing him for it though, telling him that

he's not trying at all, so Sehun's competitive spirit wins in the end, and he focuses more on the game. Junmyeon seems okay anyway, still joking and not seeming like he's too affected by their conversation.

In the end Sehun wins again, and even though this time they weren't

playing for the prize, he's still celebrating triumphantly.

"I will find a game in which I am better than you, you'll see!" Junmyeon says, laughing, and then he reaches out his hand to ruffle Sehun's hair, which absolutely does NOT make Sehun's heart skip a bit.

"Hyung, do you have a favourite tattoo of yours?" Sehun asks the question that only just now popped into his head.

Junmyeon hums thoughtfully.

"Usually my most recent tattoo tends to be my favourite. I got one like five days ago and to be honest, it is currently my favourite."

He stands up from the couch.

"Wanna see?"

Sehun nods.

The he regrets it in panic when suddenly Junmyeon starts lifting his shirt.

And holy fuck, Junmyeon is hot.

And Sehun already vaguely acknowledged that, but suddenly it's hitting him in the face again, with every inch of

Junmyeon's skin that gets revealed.

He has abs and god, its so defined Sehun's mouth feels dry. There's some tattoos peeking out from the line of Junmyeon's jeans, meaning they're probably on his hips and Sehun has to physically pry his eyes away so that his mind doesn't wander.

He doesn't know how he's going to survive a shirtless Junmyeon, but in the end he doesn't have to. Junmyeon doesn't really go as far as his chest, only lifting the shirt on one side, high enough to show his ribs, and then he turns to the side.

"Here she is"

There's tattoo of a bird, mid flight. The head looks more realistic, while the wings look more like a sketch. The skin around it is a bit red, still visibly healing.

"The lines are very fresh and thick, so I can still feel the outline of it every time I touch it."

"Really?" Sehun doesn't even realise how breathless he is. He reaches out his hand, not really thinking about it, to check if the lines of the tattoo really can be felt.

The tips of his fingers meet Junmyeon's skin and he can feel the muscles tensing underneath them.

He traces along the outline of the tattoo, and quickly confirms that it's tangible, probably the healing scar.

He traces the whole outline of the bird slowly, and only when he sees the shiver running on Junmyeon's skin, he notices that neither him nor Junmyeon are breathing.

He looks up only to be met with an intense gaze, of Junmyeon observing his face. Their eyes meet and Junmyeon doesn't look away. It feels as if his stare is drilling into Sehun, reading all of Sehun's thoughts.

He's not quite sure what that look means though, so he puts a

second fingertip on Junmyeon's skin, then a third, and soon all of his fingers of that hand are touching the tattoo. He slides them down, across the design, and Junmyeon breathes in.

Sehun swears he's losing his mind, but Junmyeon still doesn't say anything, holding the gaze

Sehun's fingers slide a bit further down, fingertips barely on the tattoo anymore and-

There's a knock on the door.

"Myeon-ah?"

Sehun retracts his hand immediately when he hears Joohyun's voice.

Shit. A wife. A straight man, probably wondering what the hell is Sehun doing.

Junmyeon lets a breath out, which sounds more like a sigh and lets go of the material of his shirt, letting it fall down.

"Come in" he says, and it's like the intense look was never there, the soft smile back on his face.

"Seungwan called and- oh, hello Sehun-ah" she smiles

at him and Sehun smiles lightly back, muttering a "hello Noona", not really able to look her in the eyes.

God, what would she think about him if she knew the kind of thoughts he has about Junmyeon? Her greeting would probably not be as friendly.

He can't even focus on what

Joohyun is talking to Junmyeon about, to engrossed in his own mind, thoughts racing and second-guessing Junmyeon's reaction. Maybe there was no intense gaze? Maybe it was just pure confusion?

He needs to stop thinking with his dick and start thinking with his head.

"... what do you think, Sehun-ah?"

He looks up and sees both Joohyun and Junmyeon looking at him expectantly. He spaced out so much that apparently he didn't even notice that Joohyun was asking him a question.

"Hm?" he asks dumbly

Joohyun giggles.

"We're putting a Halloween party in here. You should come."

A whole party in the Kim-Bae houshold. Sehun isn't sure if he could survive it alone.

"You can bring your friends, too." Junmyeon (reading Sehun's mind again) adds. "The more the merrier, really."

Well, that did make it a lot better. If he could have Seulgi and Jongin with him (and well, probably Chanyeol, Yeri and Kyungsoo too). Still, he's not so sure how much of Junmyeon and Joohyun's PDA he wants to witness.

"I don't know..."

"Come on, it'll be fun" Junmyeon ruffles

his hair again, and well, Sehun is a weak, weak man.

"... Alright then, yeah why not."

The smile he gets in return is definitely worth agreeing.

"Great!" Joohyun clasps her hands together. "Now, Sehun-ah, have you ever smoked weed?".

***

"So I said 'yeah'."

Seulgi and Jongin look at him and then between themselves.

"You said 'yeah'?" Seulgi asks, just to confirm it.

"Well. I might've said that I, uh. Smoke regurarly." he avoids their eyes, just so he can't see their judgement.

They're in McDonalds again, which at this point is just their usual meetup point. Chanyeol is late, like always, so Sehun takes this time to fill his two other friends in.

"Sehun. Sehun you've never even seen weed in real life."

"Hey, that's not true!" he replies, offended.

"I have seen Chanyeol roll a joint once!"

Jongin rolls his eyes.

"But you never /smoked/. Not even a ciggy."

"It's not like I don't want to." he shrugs "It just never really came up. I am curious about it"

Jongin and Seulgi exchange a look again.

"What? I do want to try it!"

"I don't doubt that" Seulgi offers "Just... You seem.."

"Like you wanted to show off in front of your crush" Jongin fills in.

"Exactly." Seulgi nods to agree with Jongin. "Plus it seems like you said it..."

"So you're not one upped by Junmyeon's wife." Jongin fills in again.

He looks at Seulgi. Then at Jongin.

"I hate you both. And you definitely spend too much time together." he grabs his diet coke off of the table, and instead of drinking through the straw he takes the lid of and drinks like he's drinking from a cup.

Mostly to hide how red his face got from embarassment, not that he'll ever admit it.

Because, well, maybe, in some way, his friends are a tiny bit right.

"Whatever. So are you going to come with me to the party or not?" he mumbles into his cup.

"Yeah, sure"

"Definitely wouldn't miss you trying to smoke a joint for the first time in front of people who think you smoke all the time" Jongin's laugh sounds through the McDonald's and Sehun hides more behind his cup.

The party is definitely going to be an experience.

***

In the following two weeks before the party Sehun makes sure not to make the same mistake again of having Junmyeon expose his upper body. He doesn't even risk it to ask Junmyeon about his upper arm tattoos, after he wins in their video games tournaments twice in a row.

Instead he picks some tattoos that are on his forearms and doesn't make the mistake of touching them again. Both the tattoos don't have any meaning though, neither the outline of the earth just under his elbow, nor the rose in the middle of his forearm.

The Saturday of the party Sehun contemplates for some time what he should wear, but in the end decides just on a wolf onesie. It's not the most complex of costumes, but he decides it's enough, especially after seeing Jongin and Kyungsoo's costumes.

"That's it?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

Both of them are only wearing black, with faces painted white and heavy black eyeliner on the outline of their eyes.

"Like you're one to talk Mr. Onesie." Kyungsoo gives him an unimpressed look.

"Big bad wolf" Seulgi chimes in.

She's dressed as Harley Quinn, at least some effort put in the costume.

"Are you on the hunt for bunnies, wolfie~?" she teases.

"Just one bunny" Jongin very unhelpfully adds as they high-five, successfully teasing Sehun again.

He ignores them, and the curious looks

both Kyungsoo and Yeri (who's dressed as a Hershey's kiss, bless her) send him, instead coming up to the door of Chanyeol's room and knocking.

"Chanyeol, come on, the uber is almost here."

Instead of an answer he could hear some things falling down in Chanyeol's room, then a

muttered 'fuck' and a couple of seconds later the door swung open.

"No fucking way" Seulgi said as soon as she saw him. "People are going to think we're wearing couple costumes!"

Chanyeol has his hair spray-dyed green and a full face of Joker make-up.

"Whatever, it's too late for any of you to change, the Uber is here, let's go" Sehun didn't even spare Chanyeol a longer glance, just hurried everyone out of their shared flat and into the car.

The whole way there he couldn't help but feel anxious, both about his first time

smoking weed and about his friends possibly embarrassing him. Also, should he have put in more effort into his costume?

Well, it's definitely too late now, either to change or call it off, as the taxi stops in front of the apartment complex and they all make their way out.

"Wow, your tutor is fucking loaded, Sehunnie" Chanyeol comments, making an appreciative whistle sound. Sehun just rolls his eyes and leads them to the floor that Junmyeon's apartment is on.

Before ringing the bell he considers asking his friends not to embarrass him, but he's

scared it would elicit only more teasing and in turn have the opposite effect of what he wants, so he just takes a deep breath and presses the buzzer.

After just a few seconds the door is opened, the sound of music seeping into the hallway.

"Sehunnie!"

Sehun doesn't even have time to see what Junmyeon's costume is, as his tutor suddenly puts him in an embrace, arms tightening around Sehun's middle. Sehun has to physically stop the confused, startled sound from leaving his mouth.

"You're here!" Junmyeon moves away, but

his left hand is still resting on he small of Sehun's back.

"And you must be Sehunnie's friends! Come in" he moves inside, still leading Sehun with his hand on his back. His hand is still there while he shakes hands with each of his friends, exchanging pleasantries.

Sehun takes this time to check out Junmyeon's outfit. He's dressed as the Phantom of the opera, unfortunately covering all of his tattoos. Even the ones on his neck are barely visible, as he chose a high collar shirt. The half-mask is secured with some strings, and Sehun only

now can see the redness of Junmyeon's eyes, which means he probably was already smoking. Which, well, could explain why he was so touchy, his hand still on Sehun's lower back.

He really hopes the hoodie of his onesie is covering the redness of his face.

The house is decorated very well, Sehun notices. There's spiderwebs and skeletons, and a lot of black see through fabric covering the walls. (Also covering Junmyeon's wedding photo, but Sehun tries not to think about that). There's also dimmers on the lights, making them darker.

Only when they get to Junmyeon's living room does Junmyeon move his hand away.

Sehun already misses it.

"There's alcohol and snacks on the table, and in the kitchen, help yourselves to whatever you need" he's speaking to all of them but mostly looking at Sehun.

"We just finished smoking but we're going to roll some more in maybe like half an hour?" he turns his head when someone calls him from the kitchen. "Looks like I'm needed, make yourself at home!" and then he's off.

There's a group of people in the living room, some siting on the couches, some standing and chatting. A lot of them have really cool costumes too, and Sehun feels weirdly out of place.

"Oh, that's Jongdae" Kyungsoo spots his friend and makes his way with Jongin to greet him.

Sehun almost grabs Jongin to stay with him, to make him less nervous, but he decides against it. He still has Yerim, Seulgi and Chanyeol at his side.

"Oh my god, that is the sexiest vampire I've ever seen during Halloween. Or ever," Chanyeol suddenly comments.

Sehun looks in the direction Chanyeol is looking and notices a guy, about Junmyeon's height, dressed as a vampire, fake blood on his chin holding a drink in one hand and a phone in the other. He has to give it to Chanyeol, the guy is quite attractive.

"Don't harass straight guys at Junmyeon-hyungs party, I'm begging you Chanyeol." Sehun doesn't even have to lower his voice as the music is loud enough for only their group to be heard.

"No way a guy that looks like that is straight" just as Chanyeol says the words, another

man, also dressed as a vampire and a bit taller than the first one, comes up to the guy and while whispering something into his ear, slides his hand to put it on his ass. The vampire-number-one smiles and puts the phone in his pocket, his hand moving to vampire-number-two's neck.

"See! Definitely not straight." he sounds triumphant and Sehun does a double take.

"Chanyeol. They're obviously a couple"

But Chanyeol is already moving in the two guys' direction.

"You say a couple, I say double challenge" he shrugs and turns around.

"Horny bastard. He's going to get slapped in the face" Sehun sighs and looks for a place to sit instead. "Girls, there's-" he turns around to tell Yerim and Seulgi that there's a free space on the couch, but is met with just the dancer girl there. "Where the hell did Yerim go"

"She saw someone she knows, Amber or something? They're catching up." Seulgi links her arm with him. "Don't worry, I won't leave you alone."

At least he has Seulgi with him.

"Sehun. Oh my god, Sehun." as soon as they sit down he can feel Seulgi tense by his side and squeeze

his arm.

"That's Park Sooyoung. Park fucking Sooyoung is here what the fuck"

In the door of the living room, dressed in a tight police-woman outfit, there is Park Sooyoung indeed.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, she works with Junmyeon-hyung and Joohy- Ouch!"

"What the fuck Oh Sehun" Seulgi's short but still painful nails dig into his skin "You have to warn me about things like that!"

"Anyone here willing to go with me to get some more soda?" Sooyoung asks the room but it doesn't look like anyone wants to go, as she gets ignored.

Sehun takes a look at Seulgi and then back at Park Sooyoung. He sighs. He doesn't want to be left alone at a party, but he's also a good friend.

"Seulgi, you wanted to get something from the shop, right? You should go." he says loudly.

Seulgi sends him a panicked gaze.

"What the fuck are you doing" she whispers through her teeth.

"This is your only way to talk to her you useless lesbian, now go" he answers at the same volume.

Seulgi turns around and smiles, a bit awkward, but Park Sooyoung gives her a big smile back.

"Hey, I've seen you around university, you're a dancer, right?"

"Y-yea" Seulgi answers dumbly and then she's being dragged away by an enthusiastic Sooyoung, who immediately engages her in conversation.

"I should get a best friend award of the year" Sehun mutters to himself.

But now, he doesn't have anyone with him. He might as well have a drink.

He shuffles awkwardly towards the table with all the alcohol, and after thinking for a few seconds, he decides fuck it, and pours a shot of a few different drinks in a glass, topping it all with diet coke.

He tries it and tries not to scrunch his face. It's strong, but maybe that's what he needs to get through this party. He gets a few more sips in.

"Sehun-ah, it's nice to see you." a familiar voice sounds next to him.

He turns and sees Joohyun giving him a smile, her eyes hid

behind big sunglasses. Sehun thinks she's meant to be dressed as Audrey Hepburn. And well, he doesn't find women attractive at all, but he's also not blind, he can tell that Joohyun looks beautiful, while he's standing there like an idiot, with a stupid onesie on him.

He tries not to be bitter about it.

"Hello Noona. Thanks for inviting me" he takes another sip of his drink, already feeling the effects of the alcohol overtaking him slowly. "The party is great, I love, uh, all the decor." He looks around again, appreciating.

"It is great, isn't it? Junmyeon spend so long setting it all up." she pours herself some whiskey in a cup and then also fills it with coke.

"Hyung did all of this?" now Sehun likes it even more. He thought both of them had a hand in it, it seems a lot to do for just one person.

"Yeah, I'm really not good at things like that" she laughs "My artistic talent starts at designing tattoos and ends at tattooing. He's very artistic though."

"His tattoo work it's... Something else." Sehun's thumbing nervously at the rim of the cup. "He does seem like an artist"

"His singing is also amazing" Joohyun adds and Sehun looks up with curiosity. He'd love to hear Junmyeon sing. "He can play the piano quite good, too. His dancing is not that great, but don't tell him I said that" she chuckles, and Sehun can't help but chuckle too.

She seems so easy going, it's hard to dislike her.

"He said you're quite the dancer though."

"W-what?" he's taken aback by that comment. Junmyeon only saw him dancing once, and he didn't think it was something impressive enough to mention to his wife. "I- it's just a hobby..."

"He said you're deffinitely good enough to be a proffesional."

"Um" well, now Sehun is definitely blushing. He didn't really know how to react to that compliment, compliment from Junmyeon, but said to him through Joohyun. "He didn't even see me dance for that long..."

"Well, he did talk about it a lot. So it must've left quite the impression on him."

Sehun stares at his cup some more and then decides to just down the rest of his drink, pouring himself another one. He's not sure how to reply without making it obvious that he's overthinking.

He doesn't have to come up with a random topic to fill the silence though, as just when he takes a sip, Junmyeon appears seemingly out of nowhere.

"Crisis averted" he says to Joohyun, and when she raises an eyebrow in question he continues "Heechul tried to bake edibles again."

Joohyun makes an annoyed sound.

"Oh my god, I told him to stay away from the oven, excuse me for a second" she turns around and with a quick step walks to the kitchen.

Junmyeon's left hand finds it's way to the small of Sehun's back again.

"How are you enjoying the party?"

He's holding a can of beer in his right hand, and takes a slow sip after asking the question.

Sehun watches his Adam's apple bob.

"It's nice. All my friends abandoned me though" he pouts into his cup. The alcohol is making him feel warmer by the minute.

Maybe a onesie wasn't the best of ideas.

"Yeah, I saw Yerim talking to Amber in the kitchen, and, I think Seulgi, leaving with Sooyoungie to get some more coke? And, well, your friend Chanyeol over there... Keeping himself busy"

Sehun looks in the direction he saw the two vampire-men being last time, and he's immediately embarrassed by the sight. Chanyeol is leaning over, close to both of them, visibly switching between flirting with one or the other. How was he not slapped yet, Sehun has no idea.

"Oh god, why is he like this" Sehun immediately looks away "I'm sorry about him, I of course he'd try to hook up with a couple."

To his surprise Junmyeon starts laughing, the sound immediately putting a small smile on Sehun's face.

"Don't worry, Baekhyun and Yixing, they're not a couple, it's... Complicated. But let's just say if he does hook up with them both tonight, that's a tame night in Baekhyun's book." he gives the three a glance so Sehun looks again. And well, he didn't notice before, but

both the men definitely don't look offended by Chanyeol's advances, quite the opposite really. The shorter one looks particularly pleased with the attention he's getting.

"So it should be me apologising, if my friends end up corrupting your friend" Junmyeon chuckles.

"He's already corrupted to the bone" Sehun sighs into his drink. He's definitely tipsy already, as one would be after drinking two drinks that were half filled with mixed spirits.

Junmyeon laughs again, the hand on Sehun's back travelling up to in-between his shoulder-blades and

then back down to the small of his back. Sehun can feel shivers run through his while body. Maybe it's the alcohol that makes him a bit braver, but he leans in closer to Junmyeon, their sides touching.

Junmyeon looks up and Sehun doesn't look away.

There's that same look in Junmyeon's eyes and Sehun feels like they're alone in Junmyeon's office room again. Junmyeon's hand slides to Sehun's side, as he places it on Sehun's hip, the one that's not currently pressed against Junmyeon.

His finger draws a small circle on there, and it feels as if its directly on Sehun's skin and not through the material of Sehun's onesie.

What is it about Junmyeon's eyes that keeps him this hypnotised, he doesn't know, but all he can do is look back.

It should be awkward, just looking at each other and not saying anything, especially that the time seems to have slow down drastically.

Junmyeon opens his mouth, probably to say something, and Sehun's eyes move down, now staring at Junmyeon's lips.

"Do you.." Junmyeon

starts but it seems like history is repeating itself, as Joohyun's voice sounds through the living room.

"Joint time!"

Sehun turns to look at her and can see that she's looking in their direction, and then, oh god, starts walking in their direction too.

He tries moving away from Junmyeon, but his hold on Sehun's hip is tight, fingers clasping to hold him in place.

"Sehun-ah" Joohyun doesn't seem to care about Junmyeon's and Sehun's proximity, doesn't even seem to notice it. She does look quite drunk though.

"We're going to be smoking some more, I'm going to put some extra weed especially for you!"

"Umm.." he blinks. Oh god, the weed. Now, he knows he can't really overdose from smoking too much. But he also knows that too much weed, especially during a first time smoking, is not

the best of ideas.

"Great..!" He tries to sound enthusiastic about it. Joohyun seems to believe him.

"You, me and Myeon can have a separate joint! Those guys don't smoke as much as we do, so a lot for them probably would not even affect us" she laughs, and stumbles a bit.

God, just how drunk is she?

"Haha, yeah." he answers awkwardly, because what else can he say? He already dug his own grave.

Joohyun turns around with a cheer and Sehun can feel the panic slowly rise up.

"I'm going to, uh, get some fresh air" he says in Junmyeon's

direction, not brave enough to look at him. He moves away from Junmyeon and his hand on his hip, immediately wanting it back, but he decides to just walk through the living room towards what looks like a balcony door.

It is, and, thank god, no one is there.

He immediately closes the door behind him and slides down against the wall, sitting on the balcony floor.

It's a bit cold, so he downs the rest of the drink, hoping the alcohol will keep him warmer.

"For fuck's sake" he whispers to himself. He needs to get a hold of himself.

Some people are just touchy to their friends. That's it.

The door slides open and Sehun is ready to stand up and escape, but he relaxes again when he sees it's just Jongin.

"Damn, dude." his friend says as he sits down next to him. "That was some serious bedroom eyes."

Sehun slumps against Jongin's shoulder with a loud sigh. It was so embarrassing, if Jongin noticed how intensely he was looking at Junmyeon, who else did?

"God, I need to learn how to control myself in public." he says against Jongin's arm.

"I mean, yeah, but I'm talking about both of you. It literally looked like you were eye-fucking. I could cut through the sexual tension with a knife."

Sehun rolls his eyes. Jongin always made things so much more dramatic. He shifts up to reply, but Jongin continues speaking.

"You didn't see him when you were talking to Joohyun, but damn. He was still looking at you, while his wife was right there. He was literally staring you down, didn't even look at her."

Sehun looks down at his feet, trying to rationalise whatever Jongin just told him.

"He's just drunk and high." he starts playing with the empty cup in his hands. "You know how straight guys are. Gay men finding them attractive is a novelty for them. They like the attention of it."

"Listen" Jongin puts his hand on Sehun's shoulder, twisting his body a bit

to face him.

"No straight person I have ever met has only gay friends. I talked to most of the people at this party, and believe me they're all gay and bi." he puts his other hand on Junmyeon's other shoulder. "That man is definitely not straight."

"Jongin." Sehun starts his reply determined. He doesn't want to think Jongin's argument through. It's safer for him to just assume Junmyeon's as straight as a ruler. "I am not going to try to seduce a married man"

Jongin lets out a 'pfft' dismissively.

"You're no fun. Live a little! Smoke weed, do drugs, destroy a marriage!"

"Oh my god, Jongin." He can't help but laugh at the ridiculous things Jongin is saying "If Seulgi heard you she'd slap you across the head"

Just as he finishes saying that the door slides

open again, and this time Sehun's heart skips a bit, as Junmyeon's head pokes through.

"Oh, sorry, am I interrupting...?" He looks between Sehun and Jongin, the latter's hands still on his shoulders.

"Not at all" Jongin immediately has a cheeky grin on his face.

He stands up and moves towards the door.

"I was just on my way to find Kyungsoo, excuse me" he shuffles past Junmyeon and when he's behind the older man he does a crude gesture, with his fist and his tongue in his mouth.

Sehun fights hard not to roll his eyes at him.

The door closes again and now it's Junmyeon who slides down to sit next to him.

"You alright?" he asks with concern in his voice.

"Yeah, just. Had to breathe a bit" he shrugs, deciding to stare at the railing of the balcony. "Is Joohyun okay? She looked quite drunk."

"She's fine. She always gets drunk early on but she can last hours like this"

Sehun nods in reply. There's some silence between them, but Sehun can hear some shuffling next to him. Next thing he knows there's a joint and a water bottle in front of him.

The joint is thin, much thinner than the other one, that Junmyeon is holding in his other hand.

Sehun raises an eyebrow and looks up. Junmyeon is smiling at him softly.

"For your first time smoking weed it's better not to overdo it." he says and Sehun immediately feels a blush

on his face. Of course Junmyeon has seen right through him.

"So I put a bit less in here. Made the roach thinner as well, so the smoke isn't too much on you."

Sehun stares at the joint and then at Junmyeon again.

"How did you..."

"I suspected that you might've not said the full truth when Joohyun first asked you, but confirmed it when she was talking to you just now" he takes a lighter out of his pocket.

"How come you always read my mind" Sehun mumbles as Junmyeon bursts out in a short laugh.

"Unfortunately I can't read minds. You always have a poker face on, so I wish I could read yours though."

"No you don't" Sehun answers without thinking twice about it, and then immediately mentally slaps himself. Alcohol always makes him so chatty, just saying anything.

"Oh?" There's surprise in Junmyeon's voice. "Why? Do you think mean things about me Sehunnie~?" he pokes his finger at Sehun's cheek.

"Yeah, every time you make a lame pun I think 'why am I even friends with this guy?'" he's looking away. Junmyeon starts laughing and Sehun is

determined to not look at him even more, knowing it's the kind of laugh that turns Junmyeon's eyes into crescents.

"Now give me that joint, let's smoke" he reaches out, but Junmyeon pulls his hand with the joint back.

"Impatient" he replies making a 'tsk' sound.

"I'm going to start your joint, the first few pulls have the most paper so the smoke is heavier, it's going to be easier on your lungs."

He can hear the sound of a lighter and then Junmyeon inhaling and exhaling. Then again. The strong smell of cannabis fills the air.

"Here you go." Junmyeon hands Sehun the lit joint. Their fingers brush. "Pull the smoke into your mouth, and then inhale as if you were taking a deep breath."

Sehun tries not to think about the fact that Junmyeon's mouth was on the same place his mouth is touching now, as he

follows Junmyeon's instructions. Pull the smoke in, then inhale.

The smoke scratches at his throat and burns his lungs, and he tries really, really hard not to cough. He almost makes it, but in the end as he's exhaling the smoke, a few coughs escape him.

"Here" Junmyeon opens the bottle of water and passes it to Sehun, who takes a few slips thankfully. "Try take smaller pulls"

He does just as Junmyeon advised, taking a few small pulls, while Junmyeon lights his own joint.

After about the third pull Sehun is starting to feel it.

At first it's just the feeling of his whole body getting relaxed. He didn't even know how much tension there was in his muscles, until he slumps against the wall completely. After another pull the world spins a bit, and it feels like his brain is one second behind everything .

It feels weird. Weird, but nice. He takes another two pulls. the feeling only gets stronger.

"How is it?" Junmyeon asks, and it feels as if his voice is behind a glass but also right in Sehun's ear at the same time. He turns to look at Junmyeon but the older man is still sitting

at the same distance.

Also, Junmyeon asked him a question. What was it? He doesn't think it was that important. Not as important as the barely visible tattoos poking above Junmyeon's collar.

"Your tattoos are covered today" Sehun pouts, sadly eyeing Junmyeon's long sleeves.

"You look really sad about that" Junmyeon answers, amused.

"Yeah. They're nice" Another pull. Breathe in and out. Junmyeon also smokes his joint, and fuck, it looks hot as hell. Sehun could watch Junmyeon smoke all day.

"Show me yours then"

Sehun unbuttons the first few buttons of his onesie. He's wearing a tank top underneath, so it's still okay. He pulls his hand out of the sleeve. He takes another pull of the joint.

"It's so pretty" Sehun says dreamily, looking at his own tattoo.

He appreciated it a lot before, but suddenly it's like he realises that this beautiful work of art is going to be on his body forever. And it's Junmyeon who put it there.

"It is. That's why it suits you a lot" Junmyeon reaches out and runs his fingers on top of Sehun's

tattoo, in a similar manner as Sehun did, back in Junmyeon's office room. There's no intensity this time, as Sehun can only chuckle.

"Because of my whole pretty-pastel persona?"

"Hmm..." Junmyeon moves the onesie hoodie off of Sehun's head, looking at his face. "Yeah, that too"

Maybe if Sehun was completely sober he would get red in the face and turn away. He isn't sober though, and everything feels a bit funny, so he giggles and looks back at his tattoo, not completely registering what Junmyeon implied.

"I like it so much." he inhales some more smoke.

The joint is almost done.

"Every time I look at it I think about you. It's like, 'wow, my friend made this and it's on my arm!'"

"This is the second time you called me that."

Sehun looks up at Junmyeon's face, only to find the softest gaze directed at him.

"Called you what?"

"Your friend. I'm glad I'm not just your tutor anymore"

"Of course not. You're like, in my life now. You're my friend" Sehun says surely.

Now Junmyeon is the one to look sheepish. He smiles widely though, his eyes doing that wonderful thing.

Sehun's heart skips a beat.

He smiles back just as wide.

Junmyeon's gasp is so quiet, Sehun isn't sure if he didn't just make it up.

"Who knew all I needed to get you to smile like that was to get you high?" Junmyeon says with the softest voice Sehun ever heard anyone speak in.

Then he unexpectedly boops his nose.

"Boop"

Sehun snorts as he boops back.

"Boop"

They just sit there for a few moments, smiling at each other. It doesn't feel near as intense as before, and instead of making Sehun's mouth dry, it makes his stomach feel all funny.

His heart skips again. Is it the weed?

"Before, in the living room." He starts, after what feels like a full minute of just them smiling at each other. "You started saying something, before Noona came in. You said 'Do you...'" It's been gnawing at the back of Sehun's head since.

Junmyeon looks a bit taken aback by the question.

"Do you... Do you..." he looks around, at the balcony railing, then at Sehun's onesie, then at his own hand with the ending of the joint. "Do you... wanna go for a walk?"

Something is telling Sehun that that might not be what

Junmyeon wanted to originally ask, but he's too high to care. And, well, a walk sounds very exciting in his current state.

"Yes! A walk. Let's go for a walk." he quickly takes a few last pulls of the joint and then kills it in the ashtray that's filled with cigarette ends.

He waits for Junmyeon to finish his own joint and then stands up with him.

"Where are we going?" Sehun slides open the balcony door and then lets Junmyeon leave first. He follows right behind him as they move through the living room to the hall, to put their shoes on.

"I don't know. There's a playground near by. I doubt there'll be any kids there at this hour?" he opens the door.

Sehun briefly wonders if Junmyeon shouldn't inform Joohyun that he's heading out, but the thought is gone as soon as it appears.

They slowly take make their way down the stairs. For some reason Sehun can't stop giggling every now and again, probably influenced by the weed. As if it's contaigous, every time Sehun giggles, Junmyeon does too.

When they walk past the security guard they both try to

keep straight expressions on their faces, trying their best to look as sober as they can. The guard doesn't even spare them a second glance, busy looking at the computer monitor.

As soon as they're outside the door of the apartment complex they both burst out laughing.

"Okay. Okay, let's go!" Sehun exclaims after they calm down and starts walking. Junmyeon catches him by the wrist and pulls him in the opposite direction.

"It's this way" he says with amusement, tugging Sehun along.

It's quiet outside, aside from the whistling of the wind, but that's expected, as it's almost November. They're walking slowly, Sehun taking in all the surroundings. Rich people like to surround themselves with both modern architecture and a lot of nature, as almost every

building they walk past has some trees and flowers planted in front.

Soon they walk into a park and Sehun can already see the play ground. It's bigger and fancier than all the playgrounds in the parks he's been to, which is probably because it's in Gangnam.

It's also empty, just like Junmyeon predicted.

"Let's sit on the swings" Junmyeon suggests, letting go of Sehun's wrist who only now realises that the older man has been holding it for this whole time.

As soon as he's seated on the swing he starts slowly swaying back and forth.

When he looks to the side Junmyeon is doing just the same.

There's a comfortable silence between them, the squeaking of the chains in the air as they both sway slowly.

"Do you want to be a tattooist forever?" Sehun asks out of the blue, wanting to know more about Junmyeon.

"That's the plan" he confirms, his shoes kicking the sand under the swings. "Until I'm old and my hands start shaking" he adds with a laugh.

"Why a business degree then?" that didn't add up. During one of their first sessions together he mentioned that the business degree

will help him in achieving his goal. What did it have to do with tattooing?

"I always wanted to open a studio where people can get brightly coloured tattoos. You know, watercolours, no edge stuff. Just like yours" he starts moving his legs more, swaying a bit higher.

"And the ultimate plan is to make it a chain tattoo place. Have people who are talented in that kind of thing employed in each of them" he looks at Sehun "You know, create my own brand."

Well, that explains the business degree. Opening one place wouldn't be that hard without it.

Creating a whole chain, a whole brand? That might be a challenge.

"Do you think that will succeed in Korea?"

Junmyeon chuckles.

"Well, I don't have to worry about that. When I'm finished with my degree me and Joohyun are moving to Canada."

Sehun stops swaying.

"Canada?"

"Yeah. We used to live there, quite a while ago. She really wants to go back. And well, it would be easier for me to start everything. Never mind live my life, you know?" He looks at his covered arms. "No more hiding. I could do what I want, wear what I want. Be who I want."

Sehun is quiet for a minute, trying to organise his thoughts.

Junmyeon is in his last year of a masters degree. That means...

"So when exactly are you going?"

"End of May. I don't remember the exact date, but we already bought the tickets."

End of may. That's in seven months.

"That's why I work so much" he continues, probably not noticing how shaken Sehun is with this new bit of information. "Had to save up for moving, getting a new place, getting set up, all of that."

Sehun listens to everything Junmyeon is saying, thoughts flying through his

head but too fast for him to make any sense of it.

"I didn't know you used to live in Canada." he states after some time, deciding that that's the question best suited to distract him.

"Yeah, I moved when I was 18. At first it was supposed to be just a gap year."

Junmyeon chuckles and Sehun turns to observe him. He stopped moving his legs to sway and he's looking somewhere in the distance.

"Me and Joohyun, we both loved it there too much to leave. We made a lot of friends, made amazing memories, met many.. special people."

he pauses for a second.

"So I applied for Uni. Law, like my parents wanted, though I was very, very bad at it." he laughs again. "I actually failed just a few months in, but stayed in Canada until I was 22. My mother thinks I only failed on my last year, so keep that a secret"

Junmyeon seems humoured so Sehun tries laughing too, but it comes out a little strained.

In the end he changes the topic to distract them both (but let's be real, mostly himself), asking Junmyeon why he dressed as the phantom of the opera.

They end up talking outside for over an hour, before realising that they have a party to come back to. Probably because they've both sobered quite a bit.

When they're back Chanyeol is already gone, and from Jongin he gets to know that he left with two of Junmyeon's friends.

He can guess which ones.

"I need to get fucking wasted" Sehun says to himself. There's too many things to think about, and frankly he doesn't want to think about any of them.

So he does just that. He drinks, he dances, he makes conversation.

He doesn't avoid Junmyeon, but he doesn't exactly go out of his way to interact with him either. It's just a lot of the things running through his head have to do with the older man, and well, Sehun doesn't like processing... well, anything, really.

Neither the disappointed negative feelings he has every time he thinks about Junmyeon moving away, nor the new, giddy feelings he has when he so much as looks at him.

And he looks at him a lot. He keeps stealing glances whenever Junmyeon talks to different people.

To his surprise and relief, Joohyun and Junmyeon aren't as touchy as he feared they would be. There's an occasional hand on the shoulder, but they're both just as affectionate with their friends as they are with each other. Sehun hates that it gives him a surge of hope.

They're married. They're moving to a different country together for god's sake. He should stop obsessing. Maybe they're just not big of pda?

So he drinks more. And more and more.

The last thing he remembers is the bitter taste of vodka and the bitter taste of jealousy.

***

When Sehun wakes up the first thing he notices is that his head in pounding.

The next is how much he needs to drink.

He groans as he slowly opens his eyes.

The third and fourth thing, is that he's in his room and that he doesn't exactly know how he got here.

As he slowly wakes up he realises more things. Like that he's wearing the same tank top and shorts he was wearing under his wolf onesie during the party, or that said onesie is neatly folded on top of his chair, and there's a glass of water and two pills on his bedside table.

Without much thinking and hoping it's painkillers, Sehun takes the two pills and downs the glass of water in one go.

He knows he could still go with some more though. And maybe some coffee. Yes, definitely coffee, before trying to figure out what exactly happened.

On shaky legs, and trying to ignore his head spinning, he makes his way to the kitchen.

He pauses in the doorway when he sees a man pouring himself a coffee. He's wearing boxers and Chanyeol's Far East Movement t-shirt.

"Umm..." Sehun frowns.

The man turns around.

"Oh, hello Sehun" he smiles and a dimple forms on one side of his face. "How are you feeling? Would you like some coffee?"

"Uhh, yeah, sure" he makes his way to the table, confused, as he watches the man take out another cup.

"How do you take it?" the mysterious man asks.

"Milk and two sugars."

There's more silence as the man prepares the coffee.

"Sorry but, who are you?" he feels dumb asking the question, because the man seems to know him.

"I'm Yixing" he replies with a sweet smile, putting the coffee in front of him.

And that doesn't answer Sehun's question at all.

Except maybe it does, as the name sounds familiar. It only takes two sips of coffee for Sehun to remember why

"You're one of the vampire men" he says earning a laugh from Yixing. That explains why he's wearing Chanyeol's T-shirt.

Just then another man comes into the kitchen. This one is wearing Chanyeol's Coldplay tshirt. It's too big on Chanyeol, and as this guy is much shorter he's practically drowning in it. Sehun can't actually tell if he's wearing boxers or not, the T-shirt covering his upper thighs.

"What do you want for breakfast?" the shorter man (Bekyun? Baekhyun? Sehun thinks it was Baekhyun) asks Yixing, not yet noticing Sehun in the kitchen.

"You're gonna cook?" Yixing raises an eyebrow. His voice is so much softer than when he was just talking to Sehun.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm ordering in for the three of us" he grins and leans in to peck Yixings mouth quickly. Sehun looks away, feeling like he's intruding on a private moment.

"Make that four" he hears Yixing say.

"Oh!" Sehun looks up to see Baekhyun's wide grin.

"The princess is awake! How are you doing princess?"

Sehun winces. Baekhyun's voice is loud, much louder and high pitched than it was just a moment ago. And 'princess'? What's with that?

"Dying." he drinks some more coffee.

Okay, so there's two men in his kitchen who seem to know who he is. Also however hard he's trying to think, he still has no idea how the hell he got there. He remembers saying goodbye to Jongin so it couldn't have been him bringing him home. Maybe he just took a taxi?

"Do you... Maybe know how I got here yesterday?" he hesitantly asks the two men who are looking through a takeaway leaflet.

Baekhyun immediately perks up.

"I knew you wouldn't remember shit!"

"He didn't seem to recognise me" Yixing adds.

Now Sehun is even more curious.

"It was like maybe two or three o clock when you came back. Junmyeon helped you in" Baekhyun says.

Junmyeon? Oh god, Sehun feels mortified.

"And when I say helped you in" Baekhyun doesn't stop there "I mean carried you in like a princess because you were barely able to walk."

He freezes as he hears the words.

Carried him in... Like a princess... So like... like bridal style?

He quickly picks the cup again to hide his blush, not caring that some coffee spills on the way.

"Oh my god. I feel so bad-"

"Oh, that's not all princess."

Sehun is dying of anxiety, while Baekhyun seems delighted about the whole situation. God, no wonder him and Chanyeol got along.

"We were all in the living room and we wanted to say hello, but he just asked which room was yours and got you in there." Baekhyun sits down

instead of hovering over the table.

"We thought that was it, but like five minutes later he walked out holding one of your jumpers and you were stumbling behind him being all like 'i'm sorry i'm sorry"

"What did I do??" Sehun hated the weird dramatic pauses Baekhyun kept on

making. Just tell him the whole story at once.

"You like, vomited all over his top"

Well.

Maybe sometimes it's better not to know the whole story.

"Oh god... God, that's so embarrassing" he covers his face, but at this point even his ears are probably red.

"He seemed chill about it though. I doubt he would be actually mad, he's used to helping wasted people, many of them vomit. He was probably more worried. He asked us to keep an eye on you while he went and changed and that's when we said hello"

Okay, so Sehun got black-out drunk at Junmyeon's house to the point that Junmyeon had to take him home and carry him in, and then apparently he vomited all over him. Great. Wonderful.

"You did want to drink more though" Baekhyun continues, and oh god, there's more.

"And I'm always down to party, so I was like hell yeah! You were so wasted though, you spilled a whole cup of vodka." Baekhyun laughs "And then Junmyeon came back wearing your sweater, which, by the way I've never seen him in pink and he looked so cute!"

"What about that sweater he got from Kris?" Yixing asks, sitting down next to Baekhyun.

"That one was more purple. Plus he looked more hot in that one, like a sexy art history teacher" Sehun hates the bitterness he feels at Baekhyun calling Junmyeon hot.

"It was from Kris though, so we definitely won't see him in that one anymore"

"Shame" Yixing replies in a disappointed tone. "It really suited him"

"What the fuck happened next" Sehun urges Baekhyun on.

"He came in and scolded me for giving you more alcohol. Which, rude, you didn't even drink it." he humphs "Then you started being all aegyo and shit, telling him you want to drink more, and not really listening when he said you should go sleep."

"So then he-" Baekhyun makes a motion with his arms "-just swooped you off the floor, carrying you like a princess again, and you like, immediately shut up." he laughs, giving Sehun a knowing look which he pretends he can't see. "Not kidding. Right away, just immediately quiet."

"Wish that worked on you" Yixing mutters into his coffee cup.

"No way. Loud and proud baby! Annoying till the day I die!" Baekhyun shouts out and Sehun winces as the pain in his head gets stronger because of the noise.

"Well, and then he just carried your to your room"

Sehun sits there for a few minutes, processing everything.

"When did he leave?"

Baekhyun and Yixing look at each other and then shrug.

"Not sure" Yixing says. "We went to Yeol's room twenty minutes later and went to sleep, so anywhere after that."

Sehun takes a deep breath.

"I need to lie down." he stands up and waddles to his room.

"We'll call you when breakfast is here!" Baekhyun shouts after him and Sehun just answers with what he hopes is a thankful-sounding groan.

He throws himself on the bed and takes a moment to just breathe.

When he reaches for his phone it's to distract himself, but there's two new messages, both from 'Junmyeon-hyung🐰'

He feels apprehensive but he opens the texts

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'hope your hangover isn't giving you too much trouble😟'
'text me when you wake up 😊'

Sehun bites his lower lip as he considers his reply.

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰

'hey hyung, sorry for yesterday. i don't remember what happened but baekhyun and yixing told me. sorry for puking on you and for drinking so much you had to carry me, and for all trouble i've caused'

He doesn't think this covers just how much sorry he is, but he's too embarrassed to say anything more.

The text back comes just a moment later.

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'don't worry about it Sehunnie😊 it happens to everyone. You didn't cause any trouble at all😊'

Sehun wants to respond but he sees the three dots indicating that Junmyeon is still typing so he waits. The dots disappear. Sehun frowns. The dots appear again.

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'and carrying you was hardly a task'
'quite the opposite, really'

Sehun stares blankly at the text.

"What does that mean?!" he screams at his phone with frustration. What was he even supposed to reply to that?!

He decides to just change the topic.

To: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'lol, anyway thx for folding my onesie hyung'

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'no problem Sehunnie~ You really wanted out of that thing you almost ripped the buttons😅 had to help you with that too'

Well, so much for distractions, now Sehun can't help but imagine Junmyeon leaning over him, slowly unbuttoning button after button.

To: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'wow drunk me must've been so annoying. did i say anything embarrassing to you? lol'

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'definitely not annoying, you were rather cute'
'you do a lot of aegyo when you're drunk, you know that?'

To: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'ah, aegyo, your only weakness'

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'only when it comes to you it seems'

Sehun gapes as his heart skips a beat. Why did everything Junmyeon say sound so... flirty?

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'but back to your question, I don't think you said anything embarrassing.'

Sehun sighs with relief.

'Drunk Sehun might though, he made me promise not to tell sober-Sehun what he said 🤐'
'I personally don't think it's anything bad'

Sehun hides his face in his pillow and screams.

God, so he did say some stupid shit. Of course he did, he wouldn't be Sehun if he didn't embarrass himself drunk.

To: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'god....what did i say'

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'I can't tell, it's between drunk Sehun and me🤗'

To: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'fuck drunk sehun. that bitch is dead to me'

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'🤔 I still promised to keep a secret though'
'it might have something to do with ma carrying you🤐'

To: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'???'

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'you just implied you liked it 🤷‍♂️ that's not exactly the words you used, but I'm not sure why drunk Sehun thinks it's embarrassing enough to keep it from you'

To: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'bc drunk sehun is a lil bitch'

Sehun feels like he might vomit again. He wants to know what exactly he said to Junmyeon, but it doesn't look like Junmyeon's going to tell him. He hopes he didn't say that it 'makes him feel safe' or some shit. Ugh.

The phone vibrates after half a minute

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'well, maybe sober Sehun would also like it'

Sehun desperately wants to scream into his pillow again

To: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'we'll never know, i have to be drunk to need to be carried around'

The next reply comes after half a minute again.

From: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'if you ask very nicely I might do it just for you'

Sehun's breath stops. How come Junmyeon can knock his breath away with just one sentence?

"If I 'ask nicely'?" he repeats to himself "God, just fuck me already" he throws his phone on his bed.

Just then he can hear Baekhyun calling him to the kitchen, as the breakfast arrived. He quickly grabs a box they say is his, offers to pay, and after Baekhyun refuses to accept it, he excuses himself back to his room.

Instead of eating the breakfast he puts it on the desk.

He lays down in his bed, sliding his shorts down and palming the bulge in his boxers.

He closes his eyes, imagining Junmyeon popping open the buttons of his onesie one by one. Junmyeon in his fantasy is wearing a black T-shirt and has that intense look in his eyes.

Sehun can feel himself getting hard. He slips his hand into his boxers and gives himself a few strokes, biting his lower lip to stay quiet.

Maybe Junmyeon would also bite his lip while kissing him. He wonders how his hands would feel on Sehun's cock. Would he tease?

He slides his boxers off completely.

He wraps his hand around his length and starts slowly. All he can think of is the intense eyes, the strong hands. He wonders how would it feel to be picket up by Junmyeon, held in his strong arms. His cock twitches in response

He speeds up, going between imagining Junmyeon's muscular arms around him, to his hands holding him down. He's probably strong enough to hold both his wrists with one hand. Effortlessly.

He lets a moan slip his mouth when he gets closer. It almost sounds like 'hyung'.

He can't stop now. Junmyeon's hands on his cock. Junmyeon's lips on his neck. Junmyeon's teeth clasping his nipple.

'Can I come?' he imagines himself saying

'Maybe if you ask nicely' fantasy-Junmyeon responds and real Sehun comes hard and suddenly, spilling onto his stomach.

***

November brings even more rain and more cold weather.

Opposite to that, Sehun's chest only gets warmer and warmer whenever he's around Junmyeon.

It's definitely attraction, he can't deny that now, not when he jerked off multiple times thinking about his tutor.

But there's also something... Something Sehun would rather not acknowledge. Something else Junmyeon is making him feel that, considering the circumstances, he'd rather just ignore. Something he's rather internalise, and never think about.

So he does just that, pushing down the jittery feeling every time Junmyeon smiles at him, fighting the blush every time Junmyeon sends a text that makes his heart skip, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach at every soft touch.

November is cold for everyone else, but Junmyeon makes his November warm.

They still have their weekly tutoring sessions, which get more serious with time, as his first exams are getting closer and closer.

They play video games too, mostly forgetting about their tattoo deal, but only because the games they play require their co-operation, instead of playing against each other.

One Friday of November Sehun has to cancel both his tutoring and gaming session though, for the sake

of a different thing.

"You did wish him happy birthday though, right?" Jongin asks him, trying to straighten the banner on the wall that just says 'happy birthday Chanyeol'

"Of course I did, I'm not a monster" Sehun moves his mouth away from the balloon to answer Jongin.

"Did he say when he's coming back?" Yeri jumps in the conversation, tidying the last bits of trash from the floor.

They were done preparing for Chanyeol's surprise birthday celebration (you could hardly call it a party with 4 people a cake and some snacks) for over an hour now,

so they had nothing to do but wait. Sehun was blowing up more balloons to kill the time.

Sehun checks his phone,but the message he send over half an hour ago, asking Chanyeol when he's back has not even been read yet.

"No, not yet" Sehun sighs at his phone but then it turns into a smile when a text from Junmyeon comes through.

It's a picture of the TV, starting screen of the game they've been playing last time, with a caption 'it's boring playing this alone 😔'

Sehun takes a picture of the living room

To: Junmyeon-hyung🐰

'it's boring here too... he still hasnt showed up'

"Are you texting your boyfriend" Jongin sits on his right side, looking over his shoulder.

Sehun ignores his comment and locks his phone.

At the same time on Sehun's left Seulgi's phone goes off. She smiles at it as she replies.

"Oh my god, you have the exact same looks on your faces when you're getting texts. Look at you guys, flirting with your crushes..." Jongin pretends to wipe a tear from under his eye.

"We're not flirting" they both say at the same time, Sehun firmly, but Seulgi with a hint of shyness.

She's been exchanging texts with Sooyoung for some time now, since the Halloween party. They've had lunch together too sometimes.

Sehun's phone buzzes and he quickly checks, grimacing with disappointment when he sees it's from Chanyeol. He almost ignores it, until he remembers that that's whose text they're actually waiting for.

He opens it and the frowns.

From: Park Chanyeol

'not coming back today, havin my guts rearranged xoxo'

"Are you fucking kidding me..." he says, annoyed.

"What, trouble in paradise?" Jongin teases

"It's from Chanyeol. He's not coming back today because he's getting laid"

All three of his friends sigh at the same time, looking around the living room silently for a minute.

"It may be for the better. Wasn't in the mood to party anyway" Yeri says from the corner, as she stands up "I might go home and sleep"

"Gosh, that's a good idea" Jongin adds. "Maybe I'll go too. Unless you want us to stay?"

Sehun would like some company, but all of his friends seem tired, and he doesn't want to hold them here against their will.

"Nah, a nap sounds good actually" he lies

"You guys can go, I'm gonna eat some of this shit" he gestures at the snacks "and nap."

It's only 10 minutes later that his friends are gone.

He looks around the now empty living room. He could play some games, but after so much time playing with Junmyeon, playing alone

just doesn't seem that entertaining. He looks a his phone.

It only takes him a few minutes of considering before he's dialling Junmyeon's number.

Junmyeon picks up on the third signal.

"Sehunnie?"

"Hey hyung. Are you busy?"

"Mostly bored" there's some shuffling on the other line. "How is your party going? Did Chanyeol show up?"

Sehun sighs

"No, he's not coming today. I'm also bored and alone." he bites his lower lip. "Do you... wanna come over and play some games with me?"

There's a pause, but then Junmyeon responds, sounding more enthusiastic.

"Sure. Just let me get dressed and I'll be there soon"

"Great. You remember where I live right?"

Junmyeon laughs.

"Definitely."

After disconnecting it hits Sehun that he just invited Junmyeon over to

his house. And well, it shouldn't feel like a big deal but it does.

He opens his closet to find something to wear. He doesn't want to look sloppy, but he also doesn't want to look like he tried too hard. In the end he decides on sky blue shorts and a light grey T-shirt.

Junmyeon arrives half an hour later, hugging Sehun again as a welcome.

That was another thing that was new after the party, every time Junmyeon was saying hello to him, he would hug him too.

It's not even five minutes later when they're seated in the living room, choosing

a game to play. It's a bit chilly in the room, so unfortunately Junmyeon still has his hoodie on him. But, well, Sehun has a perfect excuse to make him take it off.

"How about we play Mario Cart?" Sehun takes the game box out.

"Sure, sounds great"

"So, if I win..."

Junmyeon chuckles as he grips his controller.

"Yes, if you win you can ask about a tattoo of mine."

Sehun smiles victoriously and soon they're both focused on the game.

As usual, Sehun wins. He throws his hands up triumphantly and then turns to Junmyeon.

"Show me your tats"

Junmyeon laughs, unzipping the hoodie slowly.

"Well, you're in luck today!"

Sehun wonders what he means, but then as soon as Junmyeon shrugs down the hoodie, he knows.

And shit, he wasn't mentally prepared for Junmyeon sitting in his living room in a loose tank top, his upper

arms completely uncovered. Sehun didn't realise how much muscle those sleeves can actually cover.

There's tattoos all over there too. He can see the bunny again, one of the first tattoos Junmyeon showed him.

"Uhh..." he looks up and down Junmyeon's arms but really can't focus.

"There's some on the back as well" Junmyeon turns around and sure enough, there's tattoos on his shoulders too. There's one in particular, that's quite different to the others and it catches his attention. It's a hexagon, with some lines and letters around.

"This one" he touches the tattoo with the tip of his fingers.

"Oh"

Sehun's not sure if Junmyeon is simply surprised or thrown off guard, as he can't see his face. When he turns back to face him again the usual smile is still there.

"It's the chemical structure of dopamine."

He pauses for a second, as if considering.

"It... used to be a couple tattoo. My ex has Serotonin tattooed in the same place. We tattooed it on each other."

Sehun wonders who that woman was. Junmyeon seemed to know which tattoo Sehun was pointing out even without seeing it,

which means she definitely was important. Also, another tattooist?

"Sorry about that..." Sehun says slowly, not really sure how to react.

"It's alright" Junmyeon does look like it's okay, but Sehun also noticed that no matter the topic Junmyeon always looks like he's okay.

Sehun has to wonder how much of that is a mask.

"It's in the past." he reaches out his hand to touch the tattoo. "All relationships feel like they're going to last forever. Most of them don't though, that's just life." Junmyeon shrugs.

Sehun knows something about things not lasting forever.

"What is dopamine and serotonin?" he asks instead of overthinking. He heard those words before, but he can't place the meaning.

"They're hormones of happiness. Most associated with love and joy."

Sehun nods thoughtfully.

Suddenly Junmyeon pouts.

"This is unfair."

Sehun blinks a few times.

"What's unfair?

"I demand a re-match"

"A re-match?" Sehun raises a brow, amused.

"Yes. I wanna know what that little flower of yours means too!" Junmyeon shuffles towards Sehun's game collection.

Sehun covers his own tattoo with his hand. He knows he agreed to sharing the meaning of his tattoo, but he feels... Well, stupid. Even if he explains it, he feels like it will only make sense to him and no-one else.

Still, a bet is a bet.

"What about going back to this?" Junmyeon takes out Tekken 6 with a smile. It was the first game they played together.

"I'm in. No way you can win this one"

"Oh, I've been practising" Junmyeon replies with a smirk.

They pick their favourite characters again, Junmyeon playing

with Asuka and Sehun going for Lili.

The first round stars and Sehun can immediately tell that Junmyeon didn't lie when he said he's been practising. They're basically head to head, and Sehun is so caught off guard, that he doesn't expect all the skill.

"Asuka wins!" The TV announces and Sehun frowns. He knows he needs to focus and win the other two rounds. "Round 2. Fight!"

This time he tries all of the combos that never failed him, trying not to be put off by how good Junmyeon got.

In the end round two goes to him. He breaths out in relief. Only one more round. He gets ready.

"Round 3. Fight!"

Only a couple of seconds after the round starts he can suddenly feel fingers jabbing at his sides and he can't help the high pitched sound leaving his mouth.

"What are you-" he looks to the side where Junmyeon tries to play with one hand and with his other hand he starts tickling Sehun. Sehun does his best to move way while also trying to keep his laugh in. He has always been sensitive to tickling.

"S-stop, haha- Oh my g-god HYUNG!"

Junmyeon completely lets go of the controller and then he's tickling Sehun fully and this time Sehun can't stop the laugh and screams leaving his mouth. He's still holding the controller with one hand and trying to move Junmyeon away with the other.

"I'm gonna win even if I have to cheat!" Junmyeon's also laughing. He grabs the hand Sehun tries to move him away with, bringing it to the other one, and before Sehun knows it he's on his back, with his hands pinned above his head, Junmyeon above him, still tickling him.

"H-hyung-" he can't even ask him to stop, because of how hard he's laughing, there's even tears falling from his eyes, but he's still trying to press random buttons on the controller.

"Let the controller go!" Junmyeon says through his own laughter, tickling Sehun even more.

"A- HAHA- O-Okay you w-win!" Sehun lets the controller fall and in that moment Junmyeon finally stops tickling him.

He slowly calms his breath down. He wants to reach to wipe the tears from his eyes but he realises he can't as his hands are still pinned above his head.

Then he realises more things.

Like how Junmyeon is still hovering above him. And there's only the shadow of his playful smile left. He's looking down, at where Sehun's T-shirt rode up a bit, and Sehun didn't even realise Junmyeon's hand is on his skin.

It must've end up there during the whole tickling fiasco, but now it feels as if it's burning.

Junmyeon's eyes slowly travel up, stop at his face, glance up at where his hand is pinning down Sehun's hands, and then look at Sehun's face again.

And Sehun doesn't even want to think what he looks like, with his clothes all rolled up, heavy breathing, messed up hair and teary eyes. But Junmyeon apparently does, as he just continues looking at Sehun, that intense look, that Sehun just can't look away from, back in his eyes.

The hand on his side shifts only a millimetre but Sehun's whole body shudders. Is this-

"Asuka wins!" The TV suddenly announces.

As if it was never there, the look is gone, first followed by confusion, and then amusement.

"I won" Junmyeon smiles widely, moving both his hands

up in victory as he moves away.

And Sehun doesn't even have strength to argue with him, that he won by /cheating/ because what the fucking hell just happened?

He moves up and musters the energy to roll his eyes though.

"Won by literally making me unable to play"

"Still a win in my book" Junmyeon replies and makes himself more comfortable. Sehun almost thinks he's avoiding his eyes, but it might be just delusion. "So, tell me about your flower" he points to Sehun's tattoo.

Sehun can feel himself blushing.

"It's... Stupid, really"

"If it means something to you, then I'm sure it's not stupid" Junmyeon sends him a reassuring smile.

Sehun still hesitates for a second. Junmyeon told him about his tattoos, and they were quite personal explanations, so it's only fair...

"I guess... It's like... wishful thinking? Or maybe I want it to bring me luck?" he starts, already feeling stupid, but Junmyeon is still listening intently. "Because well... It's not like good things don't happen to me, they do..."

His grandma's smile as she said 'I accept you for who you are'

Luhan's lips against his temple whispering 'I love you'

Chanyeol's hands all over his body, moaning of 'god, you're perfect'

"Just, they all tend to end before the summer. Before the cherry blossoms stop falling.."

He tries not to think about all of it.

The doctor saying 'We did everything we could, but...'

Luhan whispering 'I don't think this will work out'

Chanyeol calming down his breath; 'maybe we should stop doing this.'

He tries not to think about the plain tickets dated for the end of May that Junmyeon keeps somewhere in the house.

"So I guess I just want to have at least one cherry blossom always with me" he looks at the flower and slides a finger across it.

"So if good things happen to me, they stick around. I know it's a bit stupid..."

"It's not stupid" Junmyeon interjects quickly, moving closer to Sehun. He also puts his hand on Sehun's arm and touches the tattoo lightly. "I think it's a beautiful meaning."

Suddenly he's hugging Sehun close and at first Sehun freezes with surprise, but he quickly relaxes against Junmyeon's embrace.

"I'm sorry things haven't been the best for you" Junmyeon says. Sehun wonders again if Junmyeon can read his mind.

Or maybe Sehun looked pathetic enough while talking about it, to have that response.

"I hope next time a good thing happens to you it lasts forever."

Sehun can't help but tighten his hands on Junmyeon's shirt.

'You're the good thing that's happening to me' he wants to say

'Don't go, just don't go' he wants to scream.

But he just holds onto Junmyeon while Junmyeon rubs calming circles with his hand on his back.

He knows he's being stupid, he doesn't have the right to feel so upset. Nothing is going on between him and Junmyeon, nothing ever will.

Junmyeon has a wife, responsibilities, plans for the future.

And if nothing even starts it doesn't have the right to hurt him when it ends. Right?

With that lie he closes his eyes, trying to distract himself from overthinking with Junmyeon's body heat.

***

After that little slip up, to say Sehun feels awkward around Junmyeon would be an understatement.

He doesn't talk about things like that, not really. And even though he didn't go into detail, he still feels silly and like he shouldn't have said anything.

Especially looking at how it compared to what Junmyeon told him about his own life. Especially that Junmyeon didn't seem that affected either by the mention of his mother nor his ex, and here Sehun was, getting all mushy and sad just because some people left him during his life.

He feels stupid.

Junmyeon probably senses it, damn his mind reading abilities, and doesn't push Sehun to talk more about what his tattoo means. He's thankful for it, but it still feels weird. He still feels like he had no right to get this emotional over such a small thing.

And with November rains changing slowly to even colder, December weather, Sehun wonders if the feeling radiating in his chest will help him stay warm through the whole winter.

"You seem a bit out of it" Jongin comments over their cups of hot chocolate.

They're in Starbucks this time, only because Jongin already has other arrangements.

It's Christmas, and this year more than other Sehun dreads having been born in Korea. Why couldn't he be born in a country where Christmas is a family holiday, instead of Valentines day 2.0?

There's couples everywhere Sehun looks. Well, except for him and Jongin, but Jongin is about to be picked up by Kyungsoo anyway. Sehun is just waiting with him.

"What?" Sehun only now registers that Jongin said something.

"What's up with you? You've been spacing out a lot."

"Sorry, just not that fond of Christmas I guess" Sehun reaches out to play with a napkin that's in front of him.

"Not only today." Jongin seems to be watching him with a concerned gaze, but Sehun's eyes are fixed on the napkin, refusing to look up.

"For the last couple of months you've been even more out of reach than you usually are."

Sehun rolls his eyes.

"It's getting colder, maybe that's it." Sehun answers, taking a sip from his hot chocolate.

Jongin hums, hopefully accepting Sehun's answer.

"So..." the dancer starts again "how are things with Junmyeon going?"

Sehun tries his best to relax, even though the question immediately makes him freeze.

He shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant and starts to fold the napkin in his hands.

"We've been going through the studying material quite quickly. So the tutoring is going great." he tries to fold the napkin as evenly as he can, matching all the corners together.

"You've been talking to him a lot. And you guys have been spending a lot of time together, too"

"So?" Sehun shoots back right away.

"So, for the amount of time you spend together, you don't talk about him at all."

"Is that a crime?" Sehun knows he's being irrationally snappy, but he can't help but feel attacked.

Jongin doesn't take it personally though.

"No, just... It was similar with Chanyeol, too." Jongin sounds hesitant to mention it and Sehun immediately frowns.

"What about Chanyeol? This has nothing to do with Chanyeol."

"It's just..." Jongin sighs "I still don't know exactly what happened between you and him"

"You know everything that happened. Me and Chanyeol fucked a few times. Then we stopped. There's nothing more to know about" this time Sehun doesn't even try to conceal his snappy tone.

"You used to talk about him all the time before though. Talked about how he was handsome and all. Then you talked about him less and less. And then when you started hooking up it's like he didn't even exist outside from our hanging out with him." he pauses for a second.

"It just kinda feels like the history is repeating"

Sehun forms his lips in a line. He hates when Jongin does it, just reads him like a book even though Sehun tries his hardest not to be read.

"Listen..." Jongin's voice is careful, like he's trying to talk to an injured animal.

Sehun hates it.

"I know, you don't like to talk about your feelings, ever, but... I'm just worried, I guess..."

Sehun is still struggling with the napkin, trying his best to line it up perfectly, but the stupid thing is too wrinkled.

"I know I tell you to seduce the man, but that was just because you so obviously found him hot. But now you seem... Like, you know. There's more. And I don't want you to end up hurt again"

"I'm not stupid Jongin" Sehun says, ignoring the 'again' part.

"I wouldn't fall for a guy with a wife. Me and Junmyeon are just very good friends, and there's nothing wrong with finding your friends hot. I think you're hot, it doesn't mean I'm in love with you." he hates how defensive he sounds, but he hopes Jongin doesn't see through him.

Jongin sighs.

"Alright. Just know you can always talk to me, yeah?"

Sehun nods. He does know, it's just anytime he talks with anyone about any issues that make him feel bad, he regrets it as soon as the words leave his mouth.

Jongin seems like he wants to say more but his phone chimes with a text sound.

"Okay, that's my cue, Kyungsoo's here" he stands up from the chair and gives Sehun one final look. "See you soon Sehunnie"

Jongin leaves the Starbucks and Sehun is left with his own thoughts again.

He understands where Jongin is coming from, he really does. But he's not stupid enough to fall for an unavailable man.

With that thought he drinks the rest of his hot chocolate. He doesn't want to go back home yet, god knows if Chanyeol is still there, and after the conversation

with Jongin is still so fresh in his mind he kind of wants to avoid the guy at least for today.

So he orders a coffee, this time to take out, and after it's done he leaves the Starbucks.

Well, at least he attempts to, because while opening the door he's so in his own head,

that he doesn't notice someone coming in to, and crashes into them, dropping his cup and spilling the coffee on the floor.

"Shit- Fuck, I'm sorry-" he starts apologising but stops when he sees who he actually bumped into. "Junmyeon-hyung?"

"Sehunnie" the man in front of him gives him a big smile but then worriedly looks at the cup. "Are you okay? Sorry for walking into you and spilling your coffee-"

"No, it was my fault, sorry I-"

Someone behind Junmyeon coughs loudly and they both stop apologising.

They realise they're still standing in the entrance, so they move inside.

"Ah, it's a shame about your coffee..." Junmyeon looks at the spilled mess that was now being cleaned by a member of staff "I was buying one now anyway, I could get you a new one?"

"Ah..." Sehun awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. "It's okay, it was kinda my fault anyway.."

"I insist." Junmyeon sends him another grin, and well, Sehun just can't resist that one.

"Alright then" the corners of Sehun's own mouth move up when he sees Junmyeon's smile.

Sehun tells him his order and Junmyeon orders both of their coffees.

"Didn't think I'd run into you today" Junmyeon says when they're waiting for their orders to be made. "Quite literally at that"

"I was just keeping Jongin company before his date with Kyungsoo."

That reminds Sehun. Christmas day, Junmyeon and Joohyun probably have something planned.

"And you? Are you out with Joohyun-noona?"

Junmyeon looks at him blankly for a few seconds, as if processing the question, before he giggles.

"No, Joohyun usually spends Christmas in Canada. I'm just out by myself. Christmas is one of my favourite holidays, so I like to just walk around."

At that moment the barista calls Junmyeon's name and he takes the two coffees, handing one to Sehun.

"So, do you have any more plans for today?" Junmyeon asks when they walk outside.

"Not really... I guess I also planned to just walk around."

"So if you want to walk around, and I want to walk around.. Why don't we walk around together?"

Junmyeon sends him another killer smile and Sehun knows this may be a bad idea, but on the other side he wants to believe that he's not stupid enough to get his hopes up for something that has no right to happen.

Plus, can anyone say no to that smile?

"Sure"

Junmyeon looks around, probably deciding which way to go.

"I heard there's a Christmas market in Hongdae" Sehun supplies in what he hopes is a helpful manner.

"A Christmas market? That sounds exciting!" Junmyeon does look very excited, as he links his arm with Sehun's, holding

onto the inside of Sehun's jacket. "Let's go!" He turns and they start walking.

The walk is twenty, maybe thirty minutes long, but surprisingly Sehun doesn't feel cold. He's not sure if it's the coffee, or the fact that Junmyeon keeps their arms linked for the whole journey.

There's also all that excitement in Junmyeon's voice, as he keeps talking, about all the decorations they see on their way, about the differences of spending Christmas in Korea and in Canada, and how much he wishes it was snowing.

And throughout it all Sehun can't stop staring, at Junmyeon's eyes that sparkle with happiness, at his beautiful smile.

He had suspicions before, that maybe Junmyeon doesn't always mean his smile, that sometimes it doesn't reach his eyes, but now he's sure.

The way his whole face radiates when he talks about things that really make him happy really says it all.

"I like it when you smile" he lets the words slip, surprised at himself that he says it, even though he's been thinking it.

Junmyeon seems confused too.

"I smile all the time though?" he responds, tilting his head to the side a bit.

"You have a smile on all the time" Sehun's not sure why he continues speaking, even though he feels himself getting embarrassed "but you're not always smiling."

Junmyeon eyes him curiously. He doesn't comment, but he seems to understand, if the hand tightening on Sehun's coat sleeve indicates something.

"And. Yeah. I... Like when you smile. Sincerely." Sehun looks down now. He knows his face is getting red and that he should shut up.

"I like when you tell me what you're thinking." Junmyeon responds after what seems like hours, but is probably just a few seconds. "That way I don't have to try so hard to read your mind."

Sehun looks back at Junmyeon. The smile is more subtle, but still sincere. He smiles back.

"Seems like I do that a lot around you. Say what I think, that is." Sehun says quietly, again wondering why he said it. But it was the truth, something about Junmyeon just made him open up more. Speak his mind, even if he thinks it's embarrassing.

"Well, it seems like I smile a lot around /you/" The noise of the Christmas Market gets louder and louder as they get closer to it, but it's almost non-existent for Sehun, who can only hear Junmyeon now. "Especially when you tell me what you think."

"It's a win-win then"

Sehun knows this, this is almost on the verge of flirting, a dangerous territory, but Junmyeon seems to strip all of his guarding walls. "I'll say what's on my mind more, and you smile more"

"Deal"

They look at each other grinning, and for once the feeling of butterflies in

Sehun's stomach seems to make him lighter, instead of heavy with doom.

"Oh!" Junmyeon seems to spot something in the corner of his eye, and Sehun looks that way too. "There's an ice rink!"

"Huh" He eyes the thing curiously. "I've never been ice skating before" he comments.

Junmyeon gasps.

"You can't be serious" then suddenly he's dragging Sehun along, towards the rink in the middle of the market.

Before Sehun can protest, or even register what's happening, they're being given a pair of ice skating shoes each, and then he's shuffling around

with them on towards the big field of ice.

"I'm... Not sure this is a good idea." he says after Junmyeon gets on the ice effortlessly, and he has to hold on to the railing even when he's not even on the the slippery surface yet.

"Come on, I can teach you."

Junmyeon waits patiently for Sehun to get on the rink.

"I'm more concerned about not breaking a leg than learning how to skate" Sehun is still hesitant.

Junmyeon reaches out a hand.

"I'll make sure you're not injured. I promise to catch you when you fall"

A wave of warmth spreads through his whole body. He grabs Junmyeon's hand and slowly descends on the ice rink.

He can immediately feel like he's losing his balance but Junmyeon catches his other hand too and steadies him.

"You got it! Now try moving forward."

Well, that's easy for Junmyeon to say. Sehun's legs are shaking just trying to keep the balance. The feeling of Junmyeon's hands in his makes him more confident but also more jittery at the same time, making for a confusing experience.

He looks around, looking at other people and the way they move their feet, and then slowly trying to copy them, he tries moving forward.

It's shaky and very slow, but he's doing it. Every time he almost loses his balance Junmyeon is there to steady him and not let him fall.

"How come this is so hard for me yet you can literally do this backwards?" He tries not to feel mortified when a little girl slides past him with ease, much faster.

"This is your first time skating, it's not like you're going to immediately be able to race" Junmyeon giggles.

"You're doing great though. Try it by yourself, yeah?" he lets go of Sehun's hands and Sehun pouts, before remembering Junmyeon is watching him.

"Alright, yeah, I can do this" he tells himself. He goes slowly, but to his credit he does manage to skate half the rink

before he feels himself losing the balance.

He yelps, fully expecting to hit the ice, but in no time there's arms around him, stabilising him.

"You alright?" Junmyeon asks, and he's close, so close, Sehun hopes the redness on his face can be explained as a reaction to the cold.

"Yeah. Just almost died, no big deal" he straightens his body again as Junmyeon laughs and lets go.

"I told you I will catch you when you fall" Junmyeon reaches out and fixes Sehun's scarf around his neck. Sehun didn't even notice it coming loose. "I'm not going to let you die."

He says it so sincerely Sehun forgets how to breathe for a moment.

"Thanks" he answers dumbly.

It does take him another half an hour to fully grasp it, with Junmyeon catching him a couple of times, but in the end he's fairly confident in his skating ability.

He won't race Junmyeon anytime soon, but at least he can slowly get around the rink.

Junmyeon is still holding one of his hands though, 'just in case' he said, and Sehun didn't even think of arguing.

"There's so many couples" Sehun says, looking around the rink.

He didn't notice before, too busy with paying attention to not-dying (and Junmyeon) but now he can see they're literally surrounded by men and women holding hands and skating together.

"It is Christmas after all" Junmyeon comments. Sehun can feel him squeezing his hand.

"I wonder if we look like a couple"

Sehun is so caught off guard by the comment he completely forgets how to hold his balances. He can feel himself falling backwards, and this time he's sure he's going to hit the ice, as the hand Junmyeon was holding him with slips out from his.

Not even half a second after it does though, there's an arm under his waist, as Junmyeon catches him with one hand, the other holding onto the railing for balance.

"Are you okay?" There's a hint of concern in Junmyeon's voice but Sehun can only focus on the fact that Junmyeon is

basically holding his body weight with /one fucking arm/. He does look a bit strained, but the hold seems stable.

"Fuck, you're so strong"

Junmyeon raises an eyebrow and his mouth quirks with amusement, and Sehun realises he said it out loud.

"I mean, yeah, I'm cool" Sehun gets up again, balancing on the ice skates. "But I think I want to get back to walking on the ground, where my chances of breaking my neck are significantly smaller."

"Are they though?" Junmyeon teases and Sehun rolls his eyes.

They slowly make their way to the exit, Junmyeon still holding onto Sehun's hand, even though Sehun knows he would catch him without it.

When Sehun finally gets off the rink he stops Junmyeon before the other can leave it as well.

"You wanted to skate" Sehun says, sitting down to change into his shoes. "And to be fair, I want to see if you're any good"

Junmyeon licks his lips and looks at the rink, then back at Sehun with a determined look.

"I'll show you"

He slides away, already with much more ease and speed than when he was hindered by Sehun, and then starts skating across the ice.

And he's good, Sehun has to admit that, he seems to glide across the ice skilfully, much faster than before.

It's fun watching him, too.

He seems truly enjoying what he's doing, a bright smile on his face.

It only takes him a few minutes though, as he gets off the rink after only a few laps.

"You're done already?" Sehun asks with surprise. Looking how much Junmyeon enjoyed himself he suspected him to stay

on the rink for much longer.

"Yeah~" Junmyeon takes one of the skates and starts putting on his shoes. "It was fun, but it was more fun with you" he sends him a blinding smile and then unexpectedly takes his hand into his own again, just like he did on the ice.

"I'm not on ice anymore" Sehun says, his throat tight. "I won't fall" he looks at their joined hands.

"Looking at your balance on ice I'm kind of scared you may fall on the ground too" he turns around and tugs Sehun along. "Now let's go check out the food stalls, I'm starving!"

They come up to different stalls, sometimes just trying samples, sometimes buying the food if it's good. Junmyeon keeps holding his hand throughout it all, and even if he has to let go when his food requires both hands to eat it, it always return into Sehun's hold in the end.

They walk around and check out every stall, even though some of them are quite boring. Sehun can never feel bored around Junmyeon though, especially when Junmyeon holds his hand. They keep on talking, too, never reaching the uncomfortable silence.

Small comments about the stuff they see, about the people around them.

Sehun remembers Junmyeon's comment from earlier, and he too wonders if they look like a couple.

After they're done walking around they sit down on a bench. Sehun's hand feels unbelievably warm in Junmyeon's.

"Do you have New Year plans?" Junmyeon asks, blowing on a piece of toppokki to make it cooler. They're sharing a portion, the bowl on Junmyeon's lap.

"I don't know, usually me and my friends just sit around and drink" Sehun also stabs a piece of toppokki onto a plastic fork.

"I'm throwing a party again. Come over?" he's looking at Sehun expectantly "Your friends are welcome too"

"Yeah" Sehun doesn't even think twice about it. "I'm sure they'll be fine with it. We'll come"

Junmyeon smiles warmly and shifts his hand, so that their fingers interlace.

"Can't wait. Wouldn't be the same without you." he says and the look in his eyes is so sincere Sehun can't stop staring at this beautiful man in front of him. His heart skips a beat and doesn't stop, racing. Even as Junmyeon looks back down onto the food, he can't stop looking.

Everything, everything about Junmyeon is beautiful. Inside and out.

Yeah, he was unbelievably handsome, and fuck, many nights Sehun spend with his hand in his pyjama pants thinking about Junmyeon definitely meant the guy was hot.

But there was so much more to him than that.

He remembers what he said to Jongin before, how he's not stupid enough to fall in love with a married man.

Well. Sehun might as well call himself a fucking idiot, because the feeling he's experiencing is proof enough that he is stupid enough to fall in love with a married man.

***

"I feel like I'm 15 again" Jongin comments under his breath and Sehun has to agree.

The party at Junmyeon's house started much like the previous one, with a lot of alcohol and weed (which, Sehun drank and smoked enough to be definitely not sober anymore).

All of the people who attended, Sehun recognised from the Halloween party, with the exception of Joohyun being absent. Sehun thinks she's probably still in Canada.

But the reason for Jongin's comment was the fact that after some time a long haired guy (who's name was

Heechul, Sehun learned) proposed they play truth or dare to 'get to know each other better.'

As Sehun sits down on the floor, Jongin on his right hand side and Junmyeon on his left hand side, he wonders what exactly did he sign up for.

"Heechul." Junmyeon looks at the long haired guy with wary eyes.

"Don't worry, I have an app for this, I won't make it into our usual truth or dare" he rolls his eyes.

Sehun frowns. What does their usual truth or dare looks like?

Before he has a chance to ask Heechul points to Jongdae who's sitting next to him.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!" Jongdae responds without any hesitation
Heechul clicks something on his phone.

"Sit on a man's lap for 10 minutes" he reads out from the app.

"Easy" he says and immediately moves to sit on Minseok's lap, wrapping his arms around his boyfriends neck. "Hey babe"

Sehun smiles at them two, as they exchange a quick kiss.

"Our Suho!" Heechul's attention is on Junmyeon now, who still eyes the long haired man carefully.

"... Truth"

"Pussy" Heechul says under his breath and then immediately follows with reading the question. "How many people have you slept with?" he flips the phone to prove to Junmyeon that it was the question that was on the screen.

Junmyeon is quiet for a few moments, and Sehun thinks he doesn't want to answer the question until he notices Junmyeon moving his fingers subtly, meaning he was actually /counting/.

"N...ine?" he says, like he's not sure. "I think nine."

"Amateur!" Baekhyun shouts from across

the circle, making some people laugh, but Sehun can only cringe. he wonders what Baekhyun would call him, as he only ever slept with three men.

Junmyeon just laughs in response and shakes his head.

"Sehun-sshi! Truth or Dare?" Heechul is looking at him now, expecting an answer.

He hesitates for a moment, but decides to just be brave.

"Dare" It doesn't sound as sure as he intended it to, but it still works.

Heechul clicks about on his phone.

"'Spoon the person on your left until its your turn again' wow, that's boring." Heechul sounds disappointed

And well, it would be boring if not for the fact that on his left there's Junmyeon. He takes a deep breath, trying not to be too obvious, and moves to sit behind Junmyeon.

"Sorry..." he says quietly, and then makes himself comfortable, Junmyeon's back against his chest.

He's not sure what to do with his hands so he puts them on his own thighs, that are pressed against Junmyeon's from the back.

"Don't apologise. I like cuddles" Junmyeon responds at the same volume, grabbing Sehun's hands and moving them so that they were around Junmyeon's waist.

He could feel Junmyeon relaxing against his torso.

The game continued, but Sehun could not focus on anything that was going on. With how Junmyeon was pressed against his body, with how he was still holding onto Sehun's hands, now playing with his fingers slightly.

His heart was beating like crazy and he hoped Junmyeon couldn't hear it. He wanted to calm it down, but how could he, when he could feel every shift of Junmyeon's body, every breath he was taking, the way he was still playing with the fingers on one of his hands.

Junmyeon moves a bit, so he's more on the side, and leans his head back, to rest it on Sehun's shoulder.

"Are you nervous about your exams?" Junmyeon asks quietly, not to disturb the people that are playing. His breath is tickling Sehun's neck and chills run through his body.

"A bit." he answers, hoping that his breath isn't as shaky as he feels. His exams are only a bit over a week away, so he is nervous, but not as nervous as usual. "But I have the best tutor for it, so I'm quite confident."

Junmyeon squeezes his hand at that.

"Junmyeon, truth or dare?" Heechul's voice is louder now, and Sehun wonders if he had to repeat himself.

Sehun can feel the older man sighing.

"Truth."

"No fun. 'Have you ever had a threesome?'" Heechul chuckles. "Ooh, spicy"

"Yeah" Junmyeon answers offhandedly, as if that answer didn't just rock Sehun's whole world. Because what? A threesome? Junmyeon?

"I knew that already" Heechul answers pouting."Okay, Sehun-ah, your turn."

And technically Sehun knows that he should move away from Junmyeon now.

The spooning was supposed to last only one round. But maybe no one will notice, if he chooses truth and won't have to move... He can always say he just forgot if anyone confronts him about it.

He tightens his arms against Junmyeon.

"Truth."

"Have you ever had a fuck buddy?"

Sehun tries his hardest not to look at Chanyeol.

"Yup" he answers and only after Heechul moves on to the next person does he relax again. No one confronted him about moving away.

"Hey, I was wondering..." Junmyeon starts, one of his hands travelling to Sehun's thigh.

Sehun's wearing ripped jeans today, and it looks like Junmyeon takes a liking to that, as he starts drawing small circles directly on Sehun's skin, where the rips are. "After you're done with your exams... Do you want to celebrate?"

"Are you gonna throw another party?" Sehun laughs to cover the fact that his breathing quickens at the skin to skin contact.

"I was thinking, going out to a club maybe? Just you and me." his finger digs a bit under the material of Sehun's jeans.

"We could have some pre-drinks here. Then go out. You could even stay over after if you want."

Junmyeon sounds fairly confident, but there's a nervous note in his voice.

Or maybe Sehun is just delusional.

"I- uh.. Yeah, that sounds great"

They end up pressed together for the entirety of the truth or dare game, both of them kept choosing truth. Junmyeon's hand doesn't leave Sehun's thigh.

When it's closer to midnight they all decide to go to the roof to see the fireworks.

Sehun hesitantly untangles himself from Junmyeon.

"So..." Jongin starts when Junmyeon is busy with leading everyone to the rooftop.

"Shut up" Sehun immediately responds. They're at the back, talking quietly enough so no one would hear them, not that anyone was listening.

Everyone was quite busy engaging in conversation while walking up the stairs.

"I didn't even say anything" Jongin laughs at Sehun's response. "It was just, you know. Interesting, watching you guys. You were basically in your own little world for the whole game.

It's not like it wasn't true. If asked Sehun would not be able to name any dare anyone else did, except for Jongdae sitting on Minseok's lap.

"We were both just high and out of it." they come up to the roof of the building.

"Keep telling yourself that" Jongin pats his shoulder.

"Now excuse me, I gotta find Kyungsoo and give him a midnight kiss."

Sehun sighs and comes up to the edge of the roof, a bit further away from everyone else. The railing is high enough to lean on it, so he does.

Even though midnight is a minute away the fireworks are already

visible all around. They're quite high up, so the view is incredible. Sehun decides to focus on that.

Then there's a hand on the small of his back and a chin on his shoulder. His breathing halts.

"Hey" it's Junmyeon's voice, even though by touch alone he already recognised him.

"Hi" Sehun responds and his voice sounds so shaky, he immediately feels embarrassed. To cover it up he adds "Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to do that?" He's referring to Junmyeon putting his chin on Sehun's shoulder.

There's a scoff followed by a laugh.

"Wow, so mean" Junmyeon's hand travels from his back, to link it with his other one across Sehun's waist. "So what if I do?"

Sehun chuckles at that, putting one of his hands on Junmyeon's hands that are linked on Sehun's abdomen.

He doesn't know if it's another delusion, or if he can actually feel Junmyeon's heart beat faster.

"10! 9!" Someone from the group starts counting down.

"8! 7! 6!" everyone keeps shouting. Junmyeon;s arms tighten around him.

"5! 4!" They're both quiet.

Sehun closes his eyes.

"3! 2!" Maybe he doesn't have anyone to kiss, but he still can make a New Year's wish, right?

"1! Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year Sehunnie." Junmyeon whispers against his shoulder.

Sehun wishes the cherry blossoms stay forever this year.

***

After the break finishes Sehun dives head in straight into exam week, which is enough to make him not think about anything else than business. He doesn't think he's ever been as stressed by exams but at the same time as confident. He knows he owes it to Junmyeon.

Finally though, after his last Friday exam it's over he can exhale. He gets back to his room to get ready for the night out.

Chanyeol isn't there, but he never is in the flat anymore recently.

Sehun wonders if he should put makeup on.

To be fair, he's too tired to even process the thought of going out to a club, but he definitely wants to spend time with Junmyeon.

In the end he decides for just a bit of black eye-shadow.

He puts on the ripped jeans again, too, remembering Junmyeon's fingers on his thighs.

Around 8pm he's in front of Junmyeon's door.

"Sehunnie~" a smiling Junmyeon opens and immediately pulls him in for a hug. Sehun returns it and then comes into the apartment, pointedly not looking at the wedding picture in Junmyeon's hall when he takes off his shoes.

They get inside and Junmyeon pours them both a drink.

"So how did your exams go?"

Sehun goes into a rant about his exams, while Junmyeon starts rolling a joint, nodding and responding to Sehun's story.

"But yeah. In the end it went okay. I'm pretty sure I passed them all"

Sehun finishes his first drink just as he finishes the story, and Junmyeon finishes rolling the joint.

"I'm sure you passed." Junmyeon smiles at him and Sehun returns the smile. "I'm proud of you"

Sehun looks down sheepishly.

"Thank you for helping hyung. I couldn't have done it without you" he responds. There's a sound of a lighter and then Sehun can smell the cannabis in the air.

"Give yourself more credit Sehunnie. I just helped, you did the rest."

"Let's say it was a collaboration piece then."

Junmyeon laughs at that, and after a few tokes on the joint, passes it to Sehun.

They smoke it in one go, Sehun slowly relaxing more and more. He didn't even know how tense he was.

The longer he's just chilling with Junmyeon in his apartment, the more he doesn't want to go out.

Why would he, they have all the alcohol they need here, plus outside they can't smoke.

"I'm gonna get another drink" Sehun says after they're done with the joint and stands up to go where the alcohol and soft drinks are. They're still in the same place from the party.

"I want one too" Junmyeon follows right behind him.

"I can pour you one" Sehun says and reaches to take Junmyeon's glass but Junmyeon is already by the alcohol table.

Sehun can only follow as he grabs a bottle and pours himself some vodka, passing it to Junmyeon after.

Then he takes the bottle of coke and tries opening that.

The key word being 'tries' as the coke fizzes loudly and then spills everywhere, including Sehun's shirt and Junmyeon's T-shirt.

Both of them stand still for a second, and then Junmyeon starts laughing while Sehun groans.

"Why am I like this" he says to himself, looking down at the mess on his shirt and then at Junmyeon. "I'm so sorry about this"

"Hey, it's okay" Junmyeon is still giddy "come on, I'll give you something to change into and we can soak your shirt so it doesn't stain"

He puts his glass down and starts walking towards a room Sehun hasn't been in yet.

It ends up being a bedroom, quite big but also quite minimalist, only a bed and some drawers. Junmyeon comes up to one of the drawers and takes out two black T-shirts.

Sehun can see the drawer is full of them.

"Do you only wear black T-shirts hyung?" Sehun asks, to cover the nervousness of being in Junmyeon's bedroom. He takes a T-shirt that Junmyeon hands him.

"Not only, but mostly I guess." Junmyeon responds and then to Sehun's surprise,

takes his stained with coke T-shirt off completely, then and there.

Sehun stops breathing, clutching the piece of clothing Junmyeon just gave him, looking at Junmyeon's body.

Because fuck. He's seen parts of his torso, his arms, even a bit of his ribs, but never all at once.

Never all of this skin that he's seeing now.

And god, he wants, he just wants it. Wants to touch, kiss, roam his hands all over Junmyeon's body.

"I-is that a new tattoo?" he asks, his voice shaking. There's an image of some flowers and vines just above the line of his jeans.

It's on the same side as the flower on Junmyeon's ribs, so Sehun is quite sure it wasn't there before, because he would've seen it.

Junmyeon looks down.

"Yeah, I had it done a couple of weeks ago."

Before Sehun knows it his hand reaches out to touch it.

When his fingertips make contact with Junmyeon's skin, his muscles tense and Sehun swears he can hear him take a deep breath. He's not moving Sehun away though, and even if the tattoo is old enough not to be clearly tangible, Sehun still touches along the lines of it.

The moment Sehun's finger rubs against the seam of Junmyeon's pants, where the tattoo disappears, there's a hand on Sehun's elbow.

Instantly, Sehun panics.

God, Junmyeon is probably weirded out and he's going to move his hand away and-

But Junmyeon's hand does not push Sehun's away, instead it moves up along the length of his arm and ends up on the back of Sehun's neck.

Sehun looks up from the tattoo to find that intense gaze on him again, except now it's searching, and the older man moves closer.

Their bodies are almost touching and- oh god and Junmyeon is looking at his mouth-

Junmyeon's hand brings Sehun down while Junmyeon himself moves up and suddenly Junmyeon's lips are on his.

Sehun's mind goes blank as he gasps into Junmyeon's mouth with surprise.

It seems though that his body registers what's happening quicker than his brain, because before he knows it, he's kissing Junmyeon back.

The kiss is anything but soft. It starts out hesitantly, but not even a few seconds in their bodies are flush against each other.

Junmyeon nips his lower lip and as a response Sehun gasps again. Junmyeon seems to take it as an initiative to slip his tongue between Sehun's lips and Sehun can't help but let out a small sound. He hooks his finger's on the edge of Junmyeon's jeans.

Before he knows it he's pinned back against one of the drawers, Junmyeon's hands now travelling down, on Sehun's torso, to rest on Sehun's hips. He groans into Sehun's mouth when the younger can't help it and grinds his lower body against him.

When Junmyeon's mouth leaves his he doesn't even have time to complain, because quickly it finds itself on Sehun's jaw.

"F-fuck, hyung" Sehun moans when Junmyeon finds a particularly sensitive spot, just between Sehun's jaw and neck.

As if Junmyeon knows, he sucks on the skin there, soothing it with his tongue after.

Sehun's hand ends up in Junmyeon's hair as his hips grind again. He's already half hard and he would be embarrassed, if not for the fact that when Junmyeon grinds back he can feel he is too.

The kisses move down to his neck and Sehun feels hot all over. Especially when Junmyeon's hands move too, and now they're on the backs of Sehun's thighs. Suddenly he's being hauled up, Junmyeon holding him against his own pelvis, lips still on Sehun's neck.

Sehun wraps his legs around Junmyeon, his dick instantly twitching. Before he knows it they're moving, Junmyeon holding him up with no effort. It only takes him a few steps and then he's being laid down on the bed, Junmyeon following right behind.

Junmyeon's mouth comes back to his as his hands work up, grabbing the edge of Sehun's shirt and moving it upwards.

They separate for a second, just to make way for Sehun's T-shirt to be taken off, and then they're back to kissing.

The kiss only deepens, Junmyeon definitely having a thing for biting, and with every nip at Sehun's lower lip, a wave of arousal shots through him.

Junmyeon's hands aren't shy with exploring Sehun's body, but he hesitates by the edge of Sehun's skinny jeans.

"Is this okay?"

Junmyeon asks breathlessly, as if this isn't what Sehun was dreaming about for months.

"Yes" he replies eagerly, and to confirm it he pushes his hips up, his erection rubbing against Junmyeon's. Even through layers it feels amazing, and both the men moan at the friction.

Junmyeon doesn't waste time to undo Sehun's pants, sliding them down together with his boxers.

"Y-you too" Sehun doesn't want to be the only one naked, so hauling himself up on his elbows he immediately reaches for Junmyeon's pants, but because he's a bit too eager it takes him

a couple of times to unbuckle Junmyeon's belt.

Junmyeon doesn't seem to mind, instead he takes this time to wrap his hand around Sehun's dick and start moving his hand. Sehun whines, both with pleasure and frustration.

The distraction is definitely not helping in trying to get Junmyeon out of his pants.

He finally succeeds though, and immediately gets even more turned on.

Not only can he see the rest of the tattoo, but there's also new ones, he didn't see before, on both of Junmyeon's thighs.

"Fuck, Sehun-ah..."

Junmyeon lets out a moan against the skin of Sehun's chest when Sehun finally starts stroking his cock. It feels so heavy and perfect in his hand.

"I wanted to get you naked for so long, Sehunnie.."

Junmyeon's lips are brushing on Sehun's nipple now, hand still moving along his shaft. Sehun can feel himself twitching both at the words and the feeling of Junmyeon's tongue flicking against his nipple.

"Hyung I-" he moans again, bucking his hips into Junmyeon's hand when

Junmyeon traps the bud between his teeth.

"I want you so bad I- I fingered myself today, i-imagining it's you" he normally would feel too embarrassed to say stuff like that but he's too turned on to care. Junmyeon grunts loudly and in one swift movement flips Sehun over.

Sehun's lying on his belly now, and then with another move Junmyeon props Sehun's lower half up, ass up.

"Fuck, you're so-" Junmyeon groans against Sehun's ear, starting a trail of open mouthed kisses on Sehun's back, hand gripping Sehun's ass.

Sehun grinds desperately, pretty sure he's already leaking pre-cum at this point.

"Hyung, please" he whines when Junmyeon's finger moves in between his ass cheeks, teasing against his rim. He shuffles his hips back, needing Junmyeon's touch like he never needed anything more.

Junmyeon swears again and then he disappears for a second to reach into the bedside drawer. Sehun takes this time to put his hand underneath his body and wrap it around his own member.

Only a moment later Junmyeon is behind Sehun again, a bottle of lube and a condom in hand.

"Today, when you touched yourself..." Junmyeon's voice is deeper than usual, filled with arousal and Sehun feels hot. "Was that the first time you touched yourself thinking about me?" He asks. Sehun can hear the cap of the lube being opened and then squeezed.

"No, I- a-ah.."

Junmyeon's wet finger circles against his rim, his other hand spreading his cheeks apart. "Definitely not t-the first time"

Junmyeon hums in response. His finger breaches the ring of muscles and Sehun can't help but push his hips back so that it enters him quicker.

His whole body is shivering with arousal, even though its only one finger.

"So eager." Junmyeon leans over to plant kisses down Sehun's spine again, moving his finger in and out, not hesitating to add another one shortly after.

"Yeah, I want you to- Ah, fuck!" Sehun moans loudly when Junmyeon's fingers graze against his prostate.

"You wan't me to what~?" Junmyeon teases now, fingertips circling the bundle of nerves in him, fingers crooked to apply more pressure to that particular spot.

Sehun moans into the pillow, the pleasure overwhelming, he can't get out any words, he can just moan and grind his hips back.

Junmyeon adds another finger.

"What is it you want, Sehunnie?" he asks again, three fingers working now, stretching Sehun out, making him

drool and whine with every press against his sweet spot.

"I- I-" he can't get the words out in between the gasps and whimpers. But god, he's ready, he's so ready- "I want y-you to f-fuck me"

Junmyeon's fingers disappear then.

"Hurry up, hyung" Sehun whines again, urgently.

"God, look at you" he can hear the bottle of lube being squeezed again. "So desperate to be fucked." he puts the lube away and the next thing Sehun knows the tip of Junmyeon's cock is pressing against his hole, first lightly, but then shifting in.

"Fuck-" Sehun can feel the stretch, when inch by inch Junmyeon slides into him, both groaning at the feeling. Junmyeon bottoms out, his hips against the back of Sehun's thighs. "God, you feel so good" Sehun doesn't even wait that long to adjust before he starts

grinding his hips back, wanting to feel more.

"You're so impatient" Junmyeon sounds so breathless, Sehun feels immediate pride that it's because of him.

"Fuck me, come on" Sehun can only respond and its as if that's all Junmyeon needs.

He grabs Sehun's hips keeping him still and starts moving, at first slow, but then gradually picking up speed.

Sehun feels like he's losing his mind. He'd think its all another dream, if not for the fact that it feels so good, Junmyeon's thrust filled with so much determination.

He can't stop moaning, his face against the pillow, probably leaving a drool stain but how can he care, when all he can think about is how Junmyeon's dick is fucking his brains out.

Next thing he knows, Junmyeon leans over, sneaking his hands on Sehun's upper arms and pulling

him up by them, changing the angle completely, now every thrust directly against his prostate.

"A..Ah! F-fuck hyung..! God, you feel- s..so good" He's much louder now, moans bordering on screams. He'd never been fucked this good before.

Junmyeon's precise movements making sure Sehun gets the most pleasure out of his every move, even though his dick is left untouched.

But it barely feels like he needs it, just Junmyeon's cock against his sweet spot enough to make him feel like he's almost at the edge.

"I'm close" he whines out. He loves how limp he is in Junmyeon's hold and yet Junmyeon can still hold him up, as if it's nothing.

Suddenly Junmyeon pulls out but before Sehun can even react he's laying on his back again, and Junmyeon doesn't waste time to hold him by his thighs.

This he's time lifting his lower body up, putting his cock back inside Sehun.

"Fuck- don't stop please, f-fuck me-" he whimpers when Junmyeon picks up the pace again, somehow knowing even in this position how to make sure Sehun's prostate keeps getting stimulated.

Junmyeon looks like he doesn't ever think about stooping, his thrusts never relenting. Sehun can feel his climax building inside him quicker and quicker, so intense there's tears in the corners of his eyes.

"A-Ah..!" it only takes a few more thrusts and Sehun's body curves in

an arch, as his breathing stops, his orgasm overwhelming him, spreading pleasure throughout his whole body.

Junmyeon whimpers, his thrusts going less stable more frantic, and within a minute he's coming too, hips pressing against Sehun's thighs, the hottest grunt Sehun has ever

heard leaving his mouth.

Sehun's body falls back on the mattress and Junmyeon's with it, his cock slipping out of Sehun. Their chests are pressed together. Junmyeon still makes sure not to put his whole body weight on Sehun and Sehun can't believe how considerate the man is.

They both just lay like that for some time, breathing each other's air.

There's a small kiss against Sehun's collarbone, then neck, then jaw, and before he knows it, they're kissing again, slower this time. Junmyeon taking his time to explore Sehun's mouth.

The desperate need they both felt finally satisfied; at least for now.

Junmyeon caresses Sehun's cheek and Sehun puts his hand into Junmyeon's hair, his fingers tangling in it.

Sehun is not sure how long they're like this, just kissing each other deeply but slowly, but it's

gradually lazier and lazier.

In the end Junmyeon just presses his lips against Sehun's once, twice, Sehun smiling at the small kisses. The exhaustion is getting to him now.

He can feel himself slowly drifting away when Junmyeon moves for a moment to get some wet wipes from the

bedside drawer, to clean the come off of Sehun and then take the condom off, tying it at the end and then wrapping it in the wipe.

The last thing Sehun remembers before falling asleep is Junmyeon's arms around him, lips pressed against his temple.

***

The sun shining through the window is what wakes Sehun up.

For the first minute he's just confused, wondering why he didn't draw his curtains the night before.

Only when he opens his eyes does he realise that he's not actually in his room.

A body stirs beside him.

There's an arm slung across his chest, too. The arm is covered in tattoos.

The memories of the previous night hit him like a bag of bricks.

And well, he'd be happy if not for the fact that he's fucking panicking. Because did he just become a homewrecker?

He didn't even think twice before going into bed with a married man.

"Good morning" Junmyeon's sleepy voice murmurs next to his ear, kissing the side of Sehun's head softly. It would be very cute if not for the fact that Sehun is losing his shit.

Sehun signals that much with a response of a panicked noise.

"You okay?" Junmyeon moves up to look at him with a concerned expression.

"I'm a homewrecker" Sehun can only reply.

Junmyeon looks at him with a confused frown but then he seems to add two and two together.

But instead of more concern, Junmyeon chuckles.

Sehun wants to say 'this is not funny!' but at the same moment there's a knock on the door.

"Myeon-ah?"

Sehun's heart falls to the bottom of his stomach.

Oh god. What is she doing here?

Oh god, Sehun didn't think he's going to have to face the consequences that fast.

"Fuck. Fuck should I-" he looks around, but there's no closet to hide in, like people in the movies do. "I don't know, should I hide under the bed or something? Shit what do homewreckers do? I'm-"

Junmyeon puts a hand on his cheek and presses a kiss against his lips. It does calm him down a bit, but this is definitely not the time for things like that.

"Calm down, Sehunnie, it's ok."

How can Sehun calm down when Joohyun knocks on the door again?

Why is she knocking anyway, isn't this her bedroom also-?

"Come in" Junmyeon says and Sehun wants to scream. Yeah, two men sharing a bed may seem innocent at first, but there's no way Joohyun won't immediately know what happened between them.

The door opens.

"My- Oh." There's surprise in her voice when she sees Sehun and Sehun wishes he could disappear. "Hello Sehun-ah"

"...Hi" he responds in a weak voice and looks at her. She looks... Smug?

"When did you come back?" Junmyeon asks casually. Sehun still doesn't know what's going on.

"A few hours ago." She responds in the same, casual tone. "Anyways, I came in to tell you my parents are going to visit in like... " She looks at her phone to check the time "give or take two hours, so please make this look like the guest room again"

What?

"Also" she looks between him and Junmyeon "Nice. I would high five you but I don't know where your hand has been."

Junmyeon snorts and Joohyun laughs too.

...What???

"Is that all?" Junmyeon hugs onto Sehun tighter.

"Pretty much. I'm making breakfast, so if you want it'll be in the kitchen. But you know. Take your time" she wiggles her eyebrows and closes the door giggling.

Sehun blinks, completely dumbfounded.

"What just happened." He asks. Junmyeon chuckles against his shoulder.

"Is this like a cuckolding situation or something?"

The giggle turns into a full on laughter.

"Hmm, not even close~" he places a kiss on Sehun's collarbone.

"But you're... Married"

"Me and Joohyun are married, yes." Another kiss in the same place. "But only on paper"

Sehun tries to process what Junmyeon just told him.

"... What? Why?"

Junmyeon stops kissing Sehun to put his head on the pillow and reply.

"She helped me some time ago, so now I'm helping her."

Sehun frowns.

"Helping her by marrying her?" It still doesn't make sense to him.

"Her parents wouldn't be fond of who she's dating." Junmyeon explains, caressing Sehun's side softly. "They're rich too, and Joohyun is their only daughter. They wanted her to marry someone from a respectable family, so, here I am."

Okay, it's kind of starting to make sense.

"Is her boyfriend like, poor?"

"No." he seems amused. Sehun is confused again.

"So why..."

"She doesn't have a poor boyfriend. She has a middle class /girlfriend/."

Now all the puzzle pieces finally fit is Sehun's head

"Oh. You're her beard"

"Bingo" Junmyeon grins.

Sehun wonders for second. There's still some things he wants to ask, wants to know.

A hand slides across his abdomen, moving onto his hipbone. Then there's lips on his jaw.

"Aren't Joohyun noona's parents coming soon?" Sehun asks, last word finishing with a moan, as

Junmyeon's hand wraps around his dick.

"In two hours" Junmyeon's lips move lower, onto Sehun's neck and he sucks on the skin there.

God, this already felt like a dream yesterday, but now he just cant believe that it's happening. That Junmyeon actually wants him.

Well, physically wants him at least. Emotionally...

A surge of anxiety threatens to swallow Sehun's body. This isn't something he wants to think about right now.

Determined to take his mind off of overthinking, Sehun moves his leg over Junmyeon as he straddles Junmyeon's hips.

The older man makes a surprised noise, but Sehun swallows it in between his lips, kissing Junmyeon passionately. Junmyeon responds immediately, enthusiasm clear in his movements, his hands running on Sehun's sides.

Then a moan falls out of his mouth when Sehun grinds their crotches together, Junmyeon's cock spurring to live against his.

It doesn't take them a long time to get hard. Sehun moves his hips in a rolling motion, switching between sucking on Junmyeon's lower lip and

biting it, extracting tiny sounds out of him. A hand reaches between their bodies and then Junmyeon has them both in a hold, lined up, hot and hard against each other. He gives their dicks a squeeze first, and then works his fist up and down.

"Fuck-" Sehun's head drops against Junmyeon's shoulder, hips jerking, moving with Junmyeon's fist. It feels so good to have Junmyeon's fingers around him and to feel his pulsating cock against his own, twitching at Sehun's every move.

He tilts his head to the side, lips aiming for Junmyeon's neck now, pelvis still unrelenting. Junmyeon is gasping quietly, and Sehun desperately wants to pull more sounds out of him, wants to her Junmyeon tip over the edge.

He sucks on the skin of Junmyeon's neck, following it with a bite, at witch Junmyeon moans louder, so Sehun doesn't stop there. He licks along the line of Junmyeon's neck, nibs along his throat, sucks the skin on the other side, too.

"God, Sehunnie.."

Junmyeon swipes the pre-cum leaking from the tips of their dicks with his hand, spreading it on his palm, hand starting to move faster. The room fills with the slick sound of their erections moving together, their deep breaths and moans mixing.

Sehun just can't stop tasting Junmyeon's skin, leaving red marks as he goes along, on his neck, collarbones, teasing with bites on his jaw and throat. Junmyeon seems to love it, if the small moans and gasps are any indication.

A loud whine escapes Junmyeon when Sehun presses his mouth just below Junmyeon's adam's apple, just a bit harder on accident, cutting off Junmyeon's air slightly for just a split second, and Sehun thinks /oh/.

He doesn't have time to test it again as Junmyeon tangles the fingers of his free hand in Sehun's hair and tugs him up, crashing his mouth into Sehun's, kissing him, movements determined. His hips are rolling now too, his hand even faster and Sehun just knows he's getting closer.

Not even a minute later Junmyeon's lips part with a loud groan, hips stilling. Sehun just has to tilt his head back to look at Junmyeon, see the expression on his face when he's coming.

Junmyeon's eyes are closed, head thrown back, eyebrows knotted together in a frown.

His lips are red from all the kisses and bites Sehun gave, and fuck, he looks so good like this, so good falling apart under Sehun, his cock twitching against Sehun's...

He feels instantly brought closer to orgasm.

Junmyeon lets go of their dicks but only for a moment, to let his own out of the hold, and then his fingers wrap around Sehun's cock, the tempo of his pumps back. Sehun lets out a whine, his head falls down on the pillow, his upper body now pressed against Junmyeon's chest.

"Fuck I-" he gets a warning out, the heat in his abdomen growing, muscles tightening. Then his climax hits him, his body shuddering, hips twitching once, twice.

Junmyeon's hand doesn't stop, milking his orgasm and god, it feels so intense, Sehun lets out a whimper, letting

himself fall back on the bed just a few seconds after, when the over-sensitivity gets too much.

They lay there for a minute, collecting their breaths. Junmyeon's hand is running through Sehun's hair now, lazily, the strands moving in between Junmyeon's fingers.

"Your hair is so soft." Junmyeon says quietly. Sehun turns to look at him.

"I haven't died it in ages, that's why." he responds, moving closer to Junmyeon, head resting on his shoulder. He closes his eyes.

Like this he can pretend that this means something more.

Junmyeon hums with acknowledgement. He reaches his hand to grab the wet wipes that are still on the bedside table, and starts cleaning himself off. Sehun pretends he doesn't blush when he notices that both his and Junmyeon's cum have mixed on Junmyeon's body.

After Junmyeon's

done he stretches and starts moving up.

"Should we go have breakfast?" he asks Sehun.

Sehun would definitely rather spend the morning cuddling Junmyeon in bed. But he knows that the older still has to get ready for when his "in-laws" come over.

"Yeah, breakfast sounds nice"

He props himself up on his elbows but gets distracted when Junmyeon gets out of bed completely naked, not a care in the world, and just casually struts over to his drawers to take out some clothes.

His back is lean, a few tattoos scattered here and there, and if Sehun didn't just come, he would get hot all over again. His eyes travelled down, past Junmyeon's lower back, and damn, isn't that a great a-

"We didn't get to clean your shirt yesterday, sorry"

There's an apologetic smile on Junmyeon's face as he turns, that quickly shifts into a teasing smirk when he notices Sehun was blatantly checking him out.

"It's fine" Sehun replies quickly, trying to pretend like he definitely wasn't admiring Junmyeon's ass just a second ago.

Junmyeon looks at him with a knowing expression for just a moment longer, before throwing a shirt in his direction

"I'm afraid I only have black T-shirts, too, so your aesthetic will have to suffer for a few hours"

Sehun rolls his eyes but he's not really annoyed.

He pulls the t-shirt over his body and gets a pair of fresh boxers from Junmyeon, too, over them the jeans he had yesterday.

“I’m going to put this in the washing machine.” Junmyeon grabs Sehun’s dirty T-shirt from the floor.

“I need to pee too, so if you want you can go ahead to the kitchen.” He adds after putting on underwear and a T-shit identical to the one Sehun’s wearing. He sends Sehun a smile and leaves the room.

Sehun takes a deep breath and opens the door too, walking towards the kitchen.

The smell of freshly cooked food hits his nose and he realised how hungry he is at that moment. When he approaches the kitchen area he can see Irene sitting down at one of the chairs.

“Good Morning again” she says to him through a spoonful of rice and Sehun smiles at her.

It’s not like he disliked her before knowing that she’s only technically married to Junmyeon, but suddenly he finds himself liking her a lot more.

“Good Morning” he replies, aiming for the kitchen sink, to wash his hands before doing anything food related.

He decides to make some coffee though, so he takes out two cups and puts the electric kettle on.

“Where is-“

“The cupboard to your left” Joohyun responds before Sehun can even finish asking.

He turns back to open the cupboard and sure enough, there’s an assortment of different

kinds of teas and a pack of coffee in there. He takes the coffee out, and just a minute later there’s two steaming cups, one with milk for Junmyeon and one with milk and sugar for himself.

He sits down at the table and immediately can feel Joohyun’s eyes on him.

“Thank you for the meal” he says, sending her a smile, grabbing one of the three bowls of rice on the table.

“No problem.” Her eyes don’t move away from Sehun’s, scanning his expression. “So… You’re fucking my husband?” there’s a more serious look on her face, and if Sehun

wasn’t so taken aback he would notice the note of amusement in form of a slight lift to the corners of her lips.

“W-What?” he sputters, a spoonful of rice stopping halfway across to his mouth. Didn’t Junmyeon say that-

Joohyun laughs then, loud and lively, not bothered by the pure look of horror on Sehun’s face.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding” she grabs a piece of kimchi between her chopsticks and doesn’t bother swallowing before speaking again. “I assume Myeon told you about me?”

Sehun nods while chewing through his food.

“Yes, he said you have a girlfriend?” he responds after the rice is down.

Joohyun picks up her phone from where it was lying on the table and shows the screen to Sehun after unlocking it.

There’s a picture set as Joohyun’s home screen, of a woman Sehun has never seen before, smiling happily, with an equally happy Joohyun on her side.

“Her name is Seungwan” Joohyun says with affection in her voice. “But she goes by Wendy while living in Canada”

She locks her phone and goes back to her food. “That’s where I’ve been for the last few weeks”

Sehun feels an uncomfortable pull in his heart at the mention of Canada. Did Junmyeon say he was going in May? It was already January now.

“How long have you two been together?”

The question mostly acts as a distraction from his thoughts, but he’s genuinely curious too.

“Six years” there’s pride radiating from her expression. Sehun’s eyebrows shoot up, mouth agape.

“Six years? Really?”

“Yup” she looks at her phone again

“And I would be stuck in a loveless, heterosexual marriage if not for Junmyeon.”

“I mean, you’re still kinda in a heterosexual marriage” Junmyeon’s voice comes from the behind Sehun and just a second later the man is in the kitchen with them. “But at least it’s not loveless”

Junmyeon ruffles Joohyun’s hair.

“Yah!” Joohyun swats his hand away and fixes the messy strands “who told you I love you, huh?” she threw in his direction, obviously teasing.

“How else would you survive 12 years of being my best friend?”

He flicks her forehead and takes a seat next to Sehun. “Is this for me?” he asks, pointing at the coffee. Sehun nods and his breath stops when in return Junmyeon smiles softly.

“So, you guys have been friends for 12 years?” his gaze moves between Joohyun and Junmyeon.

That’s an awfully long time to know someone.

“Yeah. We technically met at school, but it wasn’t until our parents went to the same business party that we actually got along” Joohyun comments.

“And who’s fault is that? You threatened to beat me up within the first 5 minutes of meeting me!” Junmyeon replies and Sehun cant help but gasp and look at Irene with shock. She only laughs.

“In my defence, you did catch me kiss a girl and I didn’t know who you were”

She points her chopsticks in Junmyeon’s direction and looks at Sehun

“I had to make sure he’ll keep his mouth closed, so I told him I’ll beat him up if he says anything to anyone”

“Wow” is all Sehun can say, really. Joohyun is so different than what Sehun would expect of her.

Although by now, after getting to know Junmyeon, he should know better than to judge the book by its cover. When he first met the man he thought he was boring. Now he cannot imagine ever choosing that adjective to describe Junmyeon.

Junmyeon was anything but boring, every second around him seemed exciting.

Sehun finishes eating not long after, trying to be quick, knowing Junmyeon has to get ready to greet his 'in-laws'

“How are you getting home?”Junmyeon asks when he sees Sehun starting to gather to leave.

“I’ll probably get the tube” Sehun shrugs. That’s how he got here in the first place.

“I can order you an Uber” Junmyeon reaches for the phone in his pocket but Sehun stops him.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to. It will probably come up to a lot and-“

“I insist.” Junmyeon’s hand

lands on Sehun’s thigh, stopping his words half way. It lingers while Junmyeon looks at him, eyes crinkled, almost the shape of the moon that they sometimes take. Sehun likes this smile, being one of Junmyeon’s real ones, one that lives not only on his lips, but in his gaze, too.

“Yeah, okay.” It’s pointless to deny him now, even if the concept of people spending money on him still makes him slightly uncomfortable. He’s rewarded, however, with the full crescents finally forming, an even prettier smile brightening Junmyeon’s features.

Sehun wonders if it's okay to kiss him right now, like this. Just lean over, mould his lips against Junmyeon’s, maybe run his hand through his hair, not caring about the fact that they’re not alone, that Junmyeon would probably taste like unsweetened coffee, bitter on his tongue.

Although Sehun bets he would manage to make it sweet anyway, somehow, even without any sugar.

He doesn’t do it, in the end.

He realises he’s been staring at Junmyeon’s mouth though, and looks away, only to find Joohyun observing them with interest, still picking on her rice,

with chopsticks this time, grain by grain, probably too full to eat anymore. She looks like she’s watching a TV drama and doesn’t look away even when Sehun clearly notices. It’s challenging, in a way, almost like she’s daring him to do something.

But Sehun has always been a coward.

“It should be here in two minutes” Junmyeon stops typing, his attention shifting from his phone screen back to him, and Sehun halts for a split second, having forgotten completely that Junmyeon is ordering him an Uber right now.

He walks Sehun to the door, hand on the small of Sehun’s back acting both in a grounding way and as a source of butterflies in his stomach.

Sehun turns to say goodbye after putting his shoes on and hesitates again.

It could be easy, to kiss him now. It could be so, so easy.

Joohyun can probably still see them from where she’s sitting at the table, but he knows she wouldn’t mind. Probably the opposite.

“Thanks for ordering the Uber for me, Hyung” he leans in and wraps his arms around Junmyeon’s middle.

The thing is, he doesn’t know if /Junmyeon/

would mind. And technically, everything is pointing at the possibility that he wouldn’t push Sehun away. Logically Sehun knows that Junmyeon would kiss back, maybe even bring his closer by his hips and deepen the kiss, make Sehun feel even more crazy about him that he already is.

But he also can’t be sure what it would mean.

It’s effortless, falling apart at Junmyeon’s touch when you have a bed underneath you. It’s risky falling apart where nothing is there to catch you, not the excuse of it being foreplay, nor the pretence of post-orgasm sappiness.

“It’s no problem, Sehunnie.” Junmyeon’s finger traces a pattern on his lower back, cheek resting against Sehun’s shoulder. He doesn’t seem to mind that Sehun went for a hug, tightening his hold to embrace Sehun even closer.

They’re interrupted by Junmyeon’s phone making a notification noise.

“It’s probably the taxi” Junmyeon sighs against Sehun’s arm and pulls away.

“I’ll better get going then. See you hyung!” Sehun sends him a quick smile, trying very hard not to look at the older man’s lips,

nor his eyes for that matter. The latter is easier, as Junmyeon is looking at his phone. It does seem to be the car, from the small glance Sehun steals from the screen, so before Junmyeon can turn from it, Sehun spins around and opens the door.

“Oh- See you Sehunnie!” Junmyeon replies when Sehun is already a few steps down the stairs.

The Uber doesn’t take that long to get him t to the dorms, so only twenty five minutes later Sehun is closing his front door behind him, then immediately leans against it.

He takes a deep breath, letting his eyes close, and then sighs loudly.

He doesn’t regret it. Definitely not. Far from it. It’s just…

“Tough day, princess?”

Sehun’s head shifts to the side, recognising the peculiar nickname more than the voice itself.

“Baekhyun-sshi, hi.” Sehun greets the man standing in the doorway leading to the kitchen, this time with shorts on and what Sehun thinks is his own shirt. Was Chanyeol hooking up with him? At least Sehun wouldn’t be alone in making questionable choices.

He’s hooking up with a guy stuck in a fake marriage, who moves oversees in five months while Chanyeol chooses to sleep with a guy who has an ambiguous relationship with someone else.

“Is Chanyeol asleep?”

“Ugh, please, no 'Baekhyun-sshi'. Just Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun scrunches his face in a grimace and Sehun can’t help but chuckle at the remark. Just ‘Baekhyun’ it is. Sehun definitely has no problem with dropping honorifics while talking to people.

“And no, him and Yixing went to get some breakfast.” Baekhyun moves away from the

doorway but nods his head in the direction of the kitchen table, signalling for Sehun to sit with him. Sehun does just that. “I made them go because there’s a place I really like around here, but it doesn’t deliver.”

Ah, so Yixing was here as well.

And they both probably spend the night, by the looks of it. Sehun does his best not to ponder on it.

“Do you want me to ask them to pick up something for you as well? I could call them?” Baekhyun points to his phone, but puts it down when Sehun shakes his head.

“No thanks, I had breakfast.”

“Did Junmyeon make it? I find it hard to believe he would cook something edible” Baekhyun laughs and Sehun freezes at the mention of the tutor. How did Baekhyun even know…?

“What?” is the only thing he can come up with, panic setting in.

“You guys went out clubbing yesterday, right? I assume you stayed over at his after?” Baekhyun brings his coffee cup up with both hands, eyes peering from above it, completely unaware of Sehun’s panic. Or maybe he is, Sehun doesn’t really know the guy well enough to read him.

“Ah. Yeah.” He relaxes into the chair, wishing he also had a coffee cup to hide behind. He considers it for a moment but decides against it. He had coffee recently, no need another one.

“So?” Baekhyun inquires and Sehun frowns, confused, before remembering Baekhyun’s question.

“Ah, no, he didn’t cook. Joohyun-noona made breakfast.”

“She's is back?” Baekhyun grins “Maybe I’ll stop by to say hi on my way home, I haven’t seen her in a while” he ponders, humming quietly. Only now Sehun notices that his voice sounds rough, like his throat is scratched.

He almost asks if that’s the case, before stopping himself when he thinks of another way why it might be. Better not go in that direction.

“Her parents are visiting today, apparently though.”

Baekhyun scowls.

“Ah. Them” the look on his face shows clear distaste, and Sehun

wonders what kind of people are they. “Another time then.”

Sehun takes a minute to gather his thoughts before asking the next question.

“Did you know?” Baekhyun most definitely does, Sehun thinks, but he still doesn’t know how to bring the topic up.

“That Hyung and Joohyun-noona aren’t really…?” he doesn’t finish, instead letting Baekhyun fill in the gap with his own knowledge.

To his surprise, Baekhyun beams.

“Ah, I see you finally got to know the big secret then?”

He nods slowly.

“Yeah. Junmyeon told me about Joohyun’s girlfriend, and the marriage.”

“I’m glad to know Joohyun trusts you enough to let Junmyeon tell you” His eyes are focused on Sehun’s and Sehun feels like he’s evaluated. “She is a great judge of character, so I’ll trust her judgement."

“And Junmyeon?” he wonders what his judgement would be.

“Oh, I have no doubts that Junmyeon trusts you, but that’s not a valid evaluation of your character” Baekhyun lets out a small chuckle. “He’s too trusting for his own good. Got him in a lot of sticky situations.”

He scans Sehun from head to toe, smile shifting to smirk.

“Plus he has a weakness for tall guys, so you’re at an advantage”

Sehun rolls his eyes, trying not to think about all the other tall men Junmyeon might have brought home to the same bed that Sehun was in just a before.

He wants to ask Baekhyun, wants to ask him if Junmyeon does this often. Make men crazy about him and then brings them home to fuck.

He almost does, too, opens his mouth before he can think twice, but then the front door opens and Chanyeol comes in, with Yixing just behind him.

Sehun decides it’s the perfect time to retreat back to his room, after saying hi to both of them, but not before stealing a glance at how Baekhyun brings both, Yixing and Chanyeol, in for a welcome kiss.

Sehun throws himself on the bed, face in the pillow and sighs again.

After a minute he takes his phone out and notices the text notification. His phone is still on silent, that’s probably why he didn’t see it before.

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰
‘Did you get home safe? 😊’

Sehun looks at it, feeling his chest tighten.

He takes a moment to collect his thoughts. He even considers leaving Junmyeon on read, but quickly decides against it.

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰
‘Yeah’

They should talk. They should definitely talk about what happened, and he knows it. But god, he’d rather just ignore the

matter, just like he did when the exact same thing happened with Chanyeol. They could both just pretend-

His phone vibrates next to him.

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰
‘Are you busy tomorrow? I was wondering if I could come over’

Ah. There goes pretending nothing happened, Sehun thinks. Of course Junmyeon, being the more reasonable out of the two of them, would want to talk things over. They would probably be talking right now if not for Joohyun’s parents coming.

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰
‘Nah I’m not doing anything, you can come over’

He gets a few happy emojis in response and puts down his phone with a sigh.

It could go in a lot of directions. Worst case scenario Junmyeon says it was a mistake and they should stop being friends.

Which would suck, because Sehun would still have to see him during tutoring every week. That scenario is unlikely though.

Best case scenario… Sehun doesn’t dare to think about it, not to get his hopes up. Best case scenario is highly unlikely, anyway, looking at circumstances.

It’s a few hours later when Sehun leaves his room and gets to the kitchen to cook some instant ramen for lunch that he runs into Chanyeol again. The taller man is sitting at the table, eating lunch of his own, which coincidentally was also instant ramen.

That was basically all that either of them could cook.

They both do their separate things in silence, before Sehun decides to approach the topic that he was curious about.

“So… What’s up with you and that couple?” he puts some frozen vegetables into the pot of boiling water.

“They’re not exactly a couple” Chanyeol chuckles, mouth full of noodles. “And well, we’re having fun. They’re both… really nice” he visibly blushes and Sehun tries not to read into it. “What about you?” Chanyeol adds.

“What about me?” Sehun raises a brow in confusion.

“Come on, I can see those hickeys from here” there’s another chuckle and this time it’s Sehun who’s cheeks heat up.

“It’s… nothing” he covers the side of his neck with his palm and turns around to continue making his meal. He adds the noodles and the instant soup powder.

“If you say so~” Chanyeol comments, a final laugh ending the conversation.

They both don’t ask more questions, Sehun too stubborn to do so, but Chanyeol just simply too clueless to even think of it.

He goes back to his room to eat.

***

He doesn’t have to wait for Junmyeon for a long time the next day. Chanyeol leaves the house at eleven, probably for work, and not even half an hour later Junmyeon texts him that he’s on his way.

And Sehun is nervous, of course he is, so even though it’s not even noon yet

he downs two beers calm his nerves. It doesn’t really work, two cans definitely not enough to make him even slightly tipsy. He wishes he could smoke weed again, just inhale it a couple of times and have all his worries melt.

There’s a knock on the door. His heat skips a beat.

When he opens the door a smiling Junmyeon greets him. It should calm him down, the fact that Junmyeon is smiling, it should suggest he's in a good mood, but he knows that Junmyeon smiles in any situation. Still, it is somewhat comforting. A tiny bit.

“Hey hyung” he lets him in, not knowing if he should go for a hug, instead he moves away from the door and lets Junmyeon take his shoes off. “Chanyeol is at work so we can sit in the living room if you want.” He knows he’s being weird, avoiding eye-contact but he can’t help it.

“Okay” Junmyeon responds, even though it sounds more like a question than confirmation.

“Great. You can sit there then. I’ll make some tea.” He turns on his heel without waiting for a response, aims straight for the kettle, fills it up and waits.

The noise of the slowly boiling water makes it easier to get lost in thought.

Junmyeon’s here. And he seems to behave normally. Which is a good sign, definitely, but Sehun wouldn’t be Sehun if he didn’t overthink. Although the possibility of Junmyeon not wanting to have anything

to do with him anymore was very low. Most likely they will just go back to normal. Junmyeon’s lifestyle probably meant one-time hook-ups were a regular thing. He did say he slept with nine people after all. Well, ten now, Sehun supposes.

Unless there was someone else between the party and yesterday. His stomach feels weird just thinking about it. Was there someone else? Did Junmyeon fuck another tall guy? Had him moan his name just like Sehun did? Did he kiss him in the morning too, making him feel like-

“The water boiled, Sehunnie” Sehun jumps, surprised and turns around to find Junmyeon standing in the door, observing him. His coat is off now, nothing covering his tattoos. Sehun looks back at the kettle and sure enough, it's off, the steam being proof that the water boiled.

“Sorry, I spaced out.” He opens a cupboard, wondering how long was Junmyeon standing there. “What kind of tea do you want hyung?” he doesn’t have as big of a choice as Junmyeon has in his cupboard, but there’s at least 3 different kinds in there. Maybe 4 if he looks far enough.

“I don’t want tea” Junmyeon’s voice is much closer now, as he stands next to Sehun, hand on Sehun’s back. He’s looking at him, that intense look of his again, the hypnotising one, and it’s so hard to look away.

“Do you want coffee then?” Sehun asks dumbly.

Junmyeon doesn’t say anything, instead he slides into the space between the counter and Sehun, his hips pressing against the counter-top and his front almost pressing against Sehun’s. He can’t even move away, Junmyeon holding onto his hips now. It’s suddenly so warm in the room.

“I want you to stop being awkward.” Junmyeon’s palms move up Sehun’s sides, grazing past his chest, then shoulders, finally linking behind Sehun’s neck, one hand playing with the hair on Sehun’s nape. “I’m not here to pester you about things that don’t have to be important.”

The hand runs through Sehun’s hair then, making him shudder. “You don’t have to worry. This can just be some fun. Nothing has to change.” his eyes seek Sehun's, as he blinks slowly, looking up at him.

Sehun questions if this is a clear rejection or a clear opening.

Clear opening to say, ‘what if I want something to change? What if I don’t want this to be just some fun?’. Maybe Junmyeon is actually leaving that choice to him. And if Sehun was a different person, he would say it. He would ask those questions with confidence.

But Sehun is Sehun. Brave enough to speak his mind, but only about things that don’t leave vulnerable spaces, ready for his feelings to be hurt. Definitely not brave enough for this, not brave enough to risk the heartbreak of completely misinterpreting Junmyeon’s point.

Therefore, he just goes with it. ‘Just some fun’ is better than nothing, right?

“So…” Sehun does his best to look smug now, palms resting on Junmyeon’s pelvis. “You don’t want coffee?”

For a second something flickers in Junmyeon's eyes but it's gone as quickly as it appeared.

Instead he chuckles, standing on his tiptoes and pulling Sehun down.

“No.” His breath is tickling Sehun’s lip. “I do want something else though”

Sehun isn’t sure who actually closes the distance between them, but the next thing he knows they’re kissing again.

Just like their first kiss it doesn’t even have the chance to be slow, Junmyeon nibbling on Sehun’s lower lip and Sehun retaliating with pushing his tongue into Junmyeon’s mouth. Junmyeon makes a low grunt then, Sehun swallowing it down, and the next one that comes after it.

They’re flushed together, Junmyeon’s back still against the counter, on of his legs pushing Sehun’s apart, his thigh pressed against his crotch. Neither of them are hard yet, but they’re definitely moving in that direction, with how deep their kiss gets.

Sehun is leading it, too, which Junmyeon playfully fights at first, trying to push against Sehun’s tongue, move it to explore Sehun’s mouth instead. Sehun doesn’t let him, tilting his head and sucking on Junmyeon’s tongue lightly, biting his lips sometimes, until Junmyeon is all

pliant underneath him. His hands are never stopping though, running through Sehun’s hair, down his back, up his sides.

It’s surprising when Junmyeon moves away with a frustrated noise.

“You’re so tall” he whines “So hot, but so hard to kiss.”

Sehun laughs, leaning down and connecting their mouths again. He reaches, his hands coming in contact with the backs of Junmyeon’s thighs. His not as strong as Junmyeon is, but strong enough to lift Junmyeon briefly, placing him on top of the counter-top, so that’s what he does.

“Better?”

Junmyeon spreads his legs and pulls Sehun between them as a reply, going back to kissing again.

And Sehun must admit that holy shit, it is so much better. Like this the angle is different, making it easier to kiss Junmyeon even deeper, easier to be even closer to him.

Easier not to think about the not-quite-but-pretty-much-rejection.

Junmyeon’s hands sneak underneath Sehun’s tee, roaming against the skin of his back, sometimes digging his nails in after a particularly harsh bite. Sehun doesnt think he ever found just making out this arousing.

He's definitely hard now, and it takes one move of their crotches rubbing together to know that Junmyeon also is.

Sehun’s shirt hits the ground and so does Junmyeon’s. Sehun takes this time to mouth against Junmyeon’s neck, but he’s quickly brought back to Junmyeon’s mouth again

Junmyeon’s insisting fingers against his jaw, directing Sehun’s face up. It’s not like he’s complaining, god, the opposite. Seeing Junmyeon this needy is even more of a turn on, hearing his soft sounds fall straight into Sehun’s mouth as they grind together, Junmyeon’s legs

wrapped around Sehun’s hips, their erections very apparent in their pants.

Pants, pants, stupid pants, Sehun thinks, trying for Junmyeon’s belt, but in that moment Junmyeon stops the kiss.

“Let’s go to your room, Hunnie”

Well, how can Sehun say no to that?

They both lose their pants somewhere in the hallway, not caring for now, knowing they’re alone for the day. Sehun still closes the door to his bedroom though, just in case Chanyeol decides to unexpectedly show up, as Junmyeon gets rid of his boxers and gets on the bed.

“Get these off” Junmyeon says playfully and Sehun almost trips on his own underwear with how eagerly he gets naked too. Then he’s on the bed and it doesn’t take long for Junmyeon to have him on his back, hovering over him, hand around Sehun’s cock.

“You’re so big” he moans out and Sehun doesn’t need his ego tickled, but it still makes him feel good. He wraps a palm around Junmyeon, too, but he doesn’t get to touch him for long before the older man speaks again. “Lube. Pass me the lube Hunnie.”

It’s the second time he calls him that in this short span and Sehun’s chest squeezes, but he reaches his hand back, between the mattress and the bed frame, where he keeps a bottle of flavoured lube. Junmyeon takes it, and then leans down again, to kiss Sehun deeply and hungrily,

grinding against him, before moving away. The cap opens, Junmyeon squeezing the lube onto his fingers, spreading it evenly among three of them. Sehun automatically spreads his legs, but instead of reaching between them, Junmyeon directs his fingers between his own legs.

“Holy shit” Sehun can’t hold the wonder in his voice in, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better view.

Junmyeon slowly pushes a finger up himself, eyes closed, and lips parted. Sehun moves even further up, his hands landing on Junmyeon’s thighs.

“You’re so hot”

Sehun comments, lips against Junmyeon’s collarbone, sucking a hickey right next to a tattoo, marking his pale complexion with a red spot. It almost seems out of place, surrounded by only black ink, but another part of Sehun yearns to leave another after another after another.

So while Junmyeon pushes a second finger inside himself, followed by a moan, Sehun sucks on his collarbone again, right next to the first mark he left.

Junmyeon gets even louder, rocking up and down, tip of his hard cock grazing along Sehun’s chest ever so slightly and Sehun

can’t deal anymore. He reaches for the bottle of lube himself, pouring it on his hand and moving it behind Junmyeon, slipping his middle finger inside, to join Junmyeon’s two.

“A-ah” Junmyeon makes a pleasured noise as his forehead falls on Sehun’s shoulder.

This position, just them kneeling in front of each other, is not the most comfortable, but god is it hot. Sehun’s hand is behind Junmyeon, meaning he’s basically holding him closer as a result.

He moves his finger, sliding it along Junmyeon’s two, but his can reach much deeper,

so just a few moments later Junmyeon whines loudly into Sehun’s shoulder, biting it, when Sehun’s fingers graze the same spot again.

“Let me do it properly” Sehun says breathlessly, waiting for Junmyeon to take his own fingers out before pushing him to lie down on the mattress.

As soon and Junmyeon is in a horizontal position, Sehun adds another finger, his fingertips circling that same spot.

“More” Junmyeon’s back is arched off the bed so Sehun sneaks his free arm underneath it, holding onto Junmyeon again, while he pushes a third finger inside him.

“F-fuck” Sehun knows three of his fingers is a bigger stretch that two of Junmyeon’s plus one of his, so he lets Junmyeon adjust for a while. He doesn’t move his fingers in and out that much, but he does focus on prodding Junmyeon’s prostate systematically, circling it with his

middle finger, massaging lightly with another one. Junmyeon makes the prettiest little noises and Sehun never wants to stop listening to them, the soft whines, the breathy whimpers…

“Come on, harder” there’s a note of impatience in Junmyeon’s voice and Sehun almost laughs,

almost commenting about how Junmyeon’s polite facade seems to disappear the moment he’s desperate to get off, except he can’t because that undertone of desperation hits him at the same time. He was the source of it, it was him that Junmyeon wanted.

He moves his fingers faster, going for a quickly inclining pace, and very soon Junmyeon’s noises turn from little to loud. He grabs onto the railing on Sehun’s bed frame and uses it to help himself move on the bed, chasing Sehun’s fingers, meeting the thrusts half-way.

Sehun’s cock almost hurts with how turned on he is. He dared to dream sometimes, about doing this to Junmyeon, not as often as he fantasised about the opposite, but god, the reality was so much better than anything he ever imagined.

“Sehun-ah” he looks up at Junmyeon, almost

swearing out loud. Junmyeon’s face is flushed, his hair messy, and his lips red, puffy and parted. There are hickeys marking his skin, hickeys that Sehun left there in a haste. He can look at Junmyeon like this forever. Junmyeon seems to have different plans, however.

“Fuck me” he breaths out and Sehun’s dick twitches with arousal.

He really hopes he still has some condoms left. He hasn’t used any in some time, so he can’t be sure. His fingers slip out of Junmyeon delicately, as the older man whimpers at the loss, and he opens the drawer.

There’s a box that should have condoms in it, so Sehun takes it out and almost panics because it’s weirdly light. There’s a quick feeling of relief following though, when he gets one last condom out.

He rips the packet with his teeth, eager as ever, and then rolls the condom on

with his lubed hand. It’s probably not enough, so he pours even more lube out, hissing slightly at how cold it feels, even through the material of the condom.

He positions himself against Junmyeon, who spreads his legs, moves them up to give Sehun better access.

There’s a hand on his neck, grabbing him down, connecting their lips again. He gets distracted by the kiss, but only for a moment, as the heels of Junmyeon’s feet dig into his ass to urge him to move, an inpatient sound leaving his mouth.

Sehun doesn’t need to be urged more.

He slowly slides into Junmyeon, taking in every whimper Junmyeon pours into his mouth. The heat is overwhelming, so when he bottoms out he not only has to wait for Junmyeon to adjust, but for himself also. It’s tight, so tight and hot and feels so good.

He tells Junmyeon as much, spills the words right into Junmyeon’s eager mouth.

“You feel so good too” It’s a whisper, a barely audible sound, Junmyeon clearly breathless with all the sensations. “You can move” he adds after just a moment and Sehun can’t really, but he does

anyway, his arms shaking as he’s trying to keep himself up.

It’s slow, so slow at first, almost torture, but one that he has control of. Junmyeon tells him he can go faster, but Sehun has to do this slow at first, getting used to having Junmyeon so close, all around him,

against him, near him. His heart is pounding, and he knows it’s not only from the desire.

They don’t stop kissing even for a second, even when they speak they do so into each other’s mouths and, even when Sehun finally picks up the pace and Junmyeon can only moan, he does it so

Sehun can catch it in between his lips, savour the sounds. He feels lightheaded, maybe because he’s feeling so much, but probably because him and Junmyeon are sharing the same air.

“Sehunnie. Sehun-ah, God, Sehun-“ Junmyeon is chanting his name like a mantra the moment Sehun moves one of Junmyeon’s legs up, changing the angle. He knows he’s not going to last much longer but Junmyeon looks close too, a hand reaching out to jerk his own cock, in time with

Sehun’s thrusts that are getting more and more frantic.

Sehun comes first, a small shout leaving his mouth as Junmyeon follows close after, tightening around him, making the feeling even more intense. They both don’t stop moving for some time though, riding out their orgasm,

Sehun only slowing down when over-sensitivity gets to be too much.

“Wow” Sehun pants out, falling down on the bed next to Junmyeon, not bothering to take the condom off yet.

“Hmmm” Junmyeon makes a dreamy noise and runs his hand lazily through Sehun’s damp hair. “I agree. Wow.”

They lay there, catching their breath for a few minutes, not exactly pressed together because of the heat of their bodies, it's a bit too much and too hot, but Junmyeon’s hand doesn’t stop treading through Sehun’s hair even for a second.

“I didn’t know you were into that” Sehun says after some time of basking in the feeling of his orgasm. Junmyeon turns his head and lifts an eyebrow, confused.

“Into what?”

“Bottoming” Sehun explains, albeit somewhat sheepishly. Junmyeon blinks once and then giggles.

“Yes. I’m very much into anything if it involves people as hot as you” his features light up in a smile and Sehun rolls his eyes, pretending he’s not blushing. “What about you? Any preference?” Junmyeon continues. His hand still hasn’t stopped. It feels nice, calming.

It does make the butterflies in his stomach crazy though.

“I like both, too” it’s the truth, he does. Having Junmyeon like that was a one in a kind experience. And god, was he hot when he fingered himself. “I do like bottoming a bit more, though” he adds as an afterthought.

Junmyeon hums, retracting his hand, Sehun almost following after the touch.

“We should take a shower.” The elder states, getting out of the bed, his legs a bit wobbly at first. Sehun can admire his naked body again, so he does.

Not moving an inch, he lets his eyes rake from Junmyeon’s legs, up to the tip of his head, slowly. “What are you looking at?” Junmyeon sounds amused, hands on his hips, an eyebrow lifted.

“You” Sehun doesn’t hesitate to respond “You’re hot. Nice to look at.”

Junmyeon laughs, reaching out his arm to help Sehun out of the bed, then pulling him in once he’s on his feet and connecting their mouths together. It's smooth, without hesitation, their lips slotting like they belong, without any awkwardness. Sehun can’t complain.

They end up making out half of the time they’re in the shower, too, and then even more when they’re drying and putting on clothes. Sehun never thought he could enjoy just kissing someone so much, but Junmyeon seems to prove him otherwise in such a short amount of time.

Their lips glide against each other with ease, hands on each other’s bodies, too tired to try anything sexual, but still feeling intimate.

They order food not long after, playing some more video games while waiting for it to be delivered.

Sehun is surprised that nothing really changes with what they talk about, Junmyeon acting just like he was before, no trace of awkwardness. He can’t feel even a bit of it himself, even though he was kind of expecting it. They just continue behaving like nothing ever happened.

Except when Junmyeon leaves it’s only after they share a long kiss against the front door.

***

“Are you hooking up with Chanyeol again?” Seulgi asks him out of the blue on a Tuesday afternoon. They’re in the studio again, having a mid-break from their dancing session.

Sehun stops mid-sip of his water and frowns.

“What?” Sehun gives her the most offended stare he can muster. What the hell is she talking about?

Seulgi reaches out her hand and pokes Sehun on the neck, then again, a bit lower.

“You’ve got hickeys”

Sehun’s eyes widen and he looks into one of the big mirrors on the wall. Sure enough, the makeup he applied this morning to cover the marks was off now, probably because he was so sweaty from dancing.

The mention of hickeys is enough to grab Jongin’s attention.

“You’re fucking Chanyeol again?” the dancer shuffles closer and Sehun scoffs.

“Why do you both think he is the only person I could hook up with?”

“Well, it’s either him or Junmyeon, so, did you fuck your teacher?” Seulgi is clearly joking, but Sehun can only look down.

“I told you he’s not my teacher” he murmurs and both of his friends gape.

“Wait, did you actually fuck him?”

“N-No!” Sehun still avoids eye contact. He can immediately tell by their reactions that they know he’s lying.

“Holy fuck” Jongin gasps out at the same time as Seulgi slaps him on the arm going “Sehun, he’s married!”

“Listen, it’s not…” he takes a deep breath, wiping his face with his hand. “I’m not a homewrecker, okay? The situation is just… Complicated.”

“What does that mean?” Seulgi and Jongin look at him with questioning but expectant eyes.

“I can’t really… tell you. Just know I’m not doing anything wrong”

They look like they want to ask more questions about it but Sehun doesn’t budge. He knows the secret isn’t his to tell.

Joohyun trusted him enough to let Junmyeon tell him, he’s not about to lose that trust.

“Did you fuck him or did he fuck you?” Jongin asks out of the blue and Sehun swats him on the arm.

“Jongin!”

“What? It’s just a standard friend question!” he pouts, hand rubbing the area Sehun just hit. “I’m curious, come on”

There’s a pause. Jongin pouts harder. Sehun sighs.

“…Both. I stayed over at his on Friday and then he came over to mine on Sunday.” Sehun explains hesitantly.

“You had sex twice already?!” Seulgi grabs his hand in awe.

Sehun nods. What he fails to mention is that they also kind of sexted on Monday. Kind of, because Junmyeon was too busy with work to get into it properly, and it never got further than some innuendos here and there.

“Now that we discussed my sex life can we go back to dancing please?”

The studio is booked for two hours, and they spend the last one training without any more breaks. That is, until the studio door opens just fifteen minutes before the end, and a person hesitantly walks inside.

“Hyung!” Sehun almost trips when he notices that the person is no other than the one they were discussing during their break, Junmyeon. He ignores that he’s in the middle of performing the choreography and jogs up to the tutor.

“Sehunnie” there’s a smile on Junmyeon’s face and his hand travels to rest on Sehun’s waist. “Sorry, am I interrupting?”

“Not at all” Sehun says, probably too quickly judging by the giggles his two friends exchange behind him. He ignores it. “Is something wrong?”

The hand on moves from his waist to his hip and back. It’s delicate, barely noticeable really, but it’s enough to send chill’s up Sehun’s spine.

“No, nothing’s wrong. I was just wondering… Are you busy after this?” his eyes are focused on Sehun's.

“Not really, why?” he’s being so eager with his responses and the two in the back giggle even more.

“I was thinking we could go for a drive, or something? I have some things to do later today, but I wanted to see you”

Sehun’s heart starts racing at the words.

“Sure. But I still have like, 20 minutes left...”

“I can wait here?” Junmyeon’s hand stops at his hip now. “I wouldn’t mind watching you dance for a while.” They’re standing closer together and Sehun wants nothing more than to kiss him.

Jongin and Seulgi are probably still watching them though, so instead he just settles on lingering his gaze on Junmyeon’s lips, long enough to make sure that he notices. He only looks back into Junmyeon’s eyes when his lips quirk with a small smile.

“Okay, have a seat hyung”

He moves away to go back to his friends, but not before squeezing Junmyeon’s hand for a second. Jongin and Seulgi exchange amused looks, but don’t say anything as Sehun puts the music on again from the beginning.

Dancing while Junmyeon watches turns out to be much more distracting than Sehun anticipated. He’s trying to focus for the whole time, but all he can think of is Junmyeon sitting there. He glances his way a few times too, almost convinced Junmyeon would be on his phone, bored, but

the elder’s eyes are always on him. Sometimes on his face. Mostly on his body. It makes him feel even more hot than he already did.

Thankfully he doesn’t make many mistakes. Even though he was quite distracted, the need to impress Junmyeon was too great to allow the distraction.

After he changes back from his dance clothes, he quickly says bye to his friends. As soon as he comes up to Junmyeon again he decides on a whim to put an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulders. He’s rewarded with Junmyeon looking up at him with a smile that Sehun returns.

“You’re a very good dancer Sehunnie” Junmyeon says as they slowly approach his car.

“Thank you hyung” they both get in Junmyeon’s car. It’s luxurious, with tinted windows and very comfortable seats. Sehun doesn’t know much about cars but he can tell it was probably expensive.

“Jongin is a much better dancer than I am though.”

“I wouldn’t know” he starts the engine and it makes a low rumbling sound. “I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you”

If not for the fact that Junmyeon was driving, Sehun would definitely bring him in for a kiss.

All he can do is slide his hand onto Junmyeon’s thigh, squeezing it lightly. Junmyeon’s eyes stay on the road, but Sehun can see the slight blush on his cheeks. He leaves his hand there.

“Where are we going?” he asks, looking around.

Junmyeon looks like he knows where he’s heading, but maybe he’s just driving around, like he told Sehun they will.

“UN Village” he responds, taking a turn. God, he looks so attractive while driving, Sehun can’t stop staring.

“Why there?”

“There’s a nice place there, a hill. It has nice view over Seoul. There’s loads of trees around, too.” He glances at Sehun briefly before looking back ahead. “It’s nice there.”

It doesn’t take long to get to UN Village, most of the drive reserved to driving up the hill.

Junmyeon takes a few side roads, and Sehun almost believes he’s lost, before they finally arrive. And Junmyeon was right, the place is nice. The view is nice, the fact that they’re surrounded by trees with no view of anyone else around them is even nicer.

“Baekhyun recommended this place to me” Junmyeon starts as soon as the engine is off. “He said-“ he doesn’t get the chance to finish as Sehun moves his hand from Junmyeon’s thigh, putting it on his cheek instead, moving from his seat to kiss Junmyeon passionately.

The elder makes a little surprised noise, followed by a small moan, hands ending up on Sehun’s waist again. He makes it deeper quickly, Sehun thankful for it, except very fast the position turns out to be too uncomfortable to carry on.

Junmyeon seems to sense it though, as he moves away from Sehun, still keeping close enough so that their noses touch.

“The back of the car is far more spacious” He whispers. Sehun doesn’t need to be told twice.

The moment they’re in the back Junmyeon is all over him, hovering over him as they make out hungrily, as if they didn’t see each other for weeks and not just a single day. It does feel like it though, as if every minute he’s not spending kissing Junmyeon is twice as long.

He takes his time, letting Junmyeon lead the kiss, but taking over sometimes, when he feels the need to kiss more intensely, be even closer.

“The windows are tinted, right?” Sehun asks at one point, when Junmyeon decides to bring the kisses down to his jaw and then neck.

“Yeah?” Junmyeon’s breathless voice answers.

“Good” Sehun’s hand is already working on Junmyeon’s belt.

They don’t go further than hand-jobs this time, not really having time, resources or space to do anything else, but Sehun still can’t help all of the moans that leave him.

Junmyeon is quite vocal too though, so he doesn’t feel embarrassed.

After they’re done they half lay on the back seats of Junmyeon’s car. It’s not the most comfortable space, but with Sehun’s legs bend underneath himself and with Junmyeon laying on top of him, they make do.

“This certainly is the best drive I’ve been on” Sehun comments which elicits a laugh from Junmyeon.

“In my defence, I did plan to have a drive around, just…” he traces circles on Sehun’s arm with the tip of his finger. “Let’s just say seeing you dance changed my plans.”

Sehun laughs at that, holding Junmyeon closer.

They lay like that for a bit, in a comfortable silence. Junmyeon is still tracing patterns on his arm, now mostly focused on Sehun’s tattoo. He’s looking at it, so Sehun looks too.

“I was curious…” Junmyeon starts, voice careful

“Would you mind sharing one of your cherry blossom stories?”

Sehun knows what Junmyeon is referring to right away. When he told Junmyeon about the meaning of the tattoo he did say it represented multiple situations in his life, different people leaving him.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But if you do, I want to listen.”

Sehun thinks for a moment. Junmyeon’s hand moves to caress his hair instead.

“When I was 19 I had a boyfriend” he starts, quietly, after a few minutes of collecting his thoughts. “His name was Luhan."

"He lived in China, but came to Seoul every month for a week, so it really wasn’t that bad.” He remembers thinking that he’s one of the more lucky ones when it came to long distance relationships. “He was my first everything. My first boyfriend, my first time, my first love.”

He really thought it would last forever.

“It was around spring time when he told me he got a full time job.”

Junmyeon holds him closer.

“In China?” he asks and Sehun scoffs, bitterly.

“No. In Seoul.” He still remembers the heartbreak and confusion.

“I was happy at first, that I get to see him every day, but he broke up with me in the same sentence”

There’s a pause again, before Sehun continues.

“I can see why now. I was four years younger than him, even though it’s not that much of a difference I was still very immature.”

He doesn’t tell Junmyeon all the reasons Luhan listed for their break up, still too tender of a topic. “But back then it came so out of the blue. I thought everything was amazing, fuck, I though we were going to spend our lives together.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you” Junmyeon says quietly and Sehun chuckles to make the atmosphere lighter.

“It was just a breakup. Happens to everyone, you know?” He hides his face in Junmyeon’s neck. “I’m just being silly”

“Sometimes, when you devote so much of yourself to a person and then they leave, it feels like they take a part of you with them.” Junmyeon kisses the top of his head after saying those words. “It’s not silly to be hurt by that.” his lips are on Sehun's temple now, comforting.

Sehun takes a deep breath. His heart clenches, both at Junmyeon’s words and actions. Too, tender, too soft, too understanding for Sehun not to fall a bit harder. Still, he lets himself melt into Junmyeon’s arms for just a second more, before moving away completely.

“We should go back” he states, brushing a hand through his jostled hair.

Junmyeon stays quiet for a second, but then also moves to sit. Sehun can hear him fixing his clothes.

“Yeah, we probably should” the tutor agrees, only then Sehun musters the courage to look at him again.

That soft smile that Junmyeon always seems to have is back, but Sehun doesn’t have enough time to read if it’s real or fake this time, as Junmyeon opens the door and shuffles out of the car, stretching his arms and pulling his trousers up.

Sehun follows him promptly, making his way back to the seat.

Junmyeon starts the car. They’re both silent for a moment, as he drives them out, before Sehun feels himself speak again.

“Hey, uhm, thanks.” He feels awkward, not really knowing how to act. “For… Saying that.”

Junmyeon’s hand ends up on Sehun’s knee, squeezing it reassuringly.

“No problem Sehunnie.” His eyes are on the road, but Sehun can still see the sincerity in them.

The rest of the drive is spent in silence, and Sehun wonders why he feels like it’s an awkward one.

Maybe it’s just him though, because Junmyeon just hums to the music on the radio, not seemingly bothered by Sehun not saying anything.

They arrive at the gate of Sehun’s dormitory soon after, and Sehun is about to leave the car, before Junmyeon catches him by the wrist.

He takes his hand off of the door handle and looks at the older man.

“You can talk to me, you know?” Junmyeon’s warm gaze feels overwhelming, and Sehun just wants to kiss him.

“I know hyung.”

“I mean…” Junmyeon sighs, fingers drumming on Sehun’s wrist, and then continues.

“Sex aside, you’re my friend. You can tell me things, and I’ll never judge you for how you feel about them.”

Sehun feels the now familiar squeeze to his heart again. He twists his hand in Junmyeon’s hold and squeezes his fingers, in what he hopes is a thankful manner.

“Thank you.” He looks at Junmyeon’s face for a moment, before the overwhelming urge to kiss him becomes too much, so he let’s go and reaches for the door handle once more. “See you on Friday?”

Junmyeon grins.

“Well, I hope I’ll see you before then, but if not, yeah, see you on Friday Sehunnie.”

Sehun gets out, without lingering this time, closing the door behind him and then waving as Junmyeon drives away. He lets out a heavy breath as soon as Junmyeon’s car disappears from sight.

*

They don’t actually meet each other until Friday, even though Junmyeon seemed hopeful that they will. Sehun is busy with uni work again, and Junmyeon is busy with both, his uni work and his actual job. They still text each other and see each other passingly on campus though.

Junmyeon always waves with a bright smile on his face when he spots Sehun, and Sehun waves back, accompanied by teasing remarks from either Jongin or Seulgi or both. At least Chanyeol doesn’t tease him about it, but it’s just because he’s clueless about the whole situation.

But even so, he misses Junmyeon. He’s trying not to, thinking it’s probably ridiculous, because technically they do still see each other, just from afar.

He still touches himself every night with the thoughts of Junmyeon touching him instead on his mind,

wondering if Junmyeon misses this as much as him too, misses their bodies pressed together, their lips sliding against each other, skin against skin… It hasn’t been that long, so he doubts that Junmyeon is as desperate for it as he is.

He’s proven wrong the moment the door to Junmyeon’s apartment closes behind him on Friday afternoon. Junmyeon doesn’t waste time to pin him against the wall and kiss him until his breath is gone, knees weak. It doesn’t take Junmyeon long to take Sehun back to his bedroom,

spread him on the sheets on all fours, working his fingers in him, one, two, three, until Sehun is just a moaning mess.

“Please-“ Sehun chokes out, barely able to speak from the intensity and speed of what they’re doing. They aren’t even naked, half of their clothing still on,

Junmyeon’s trousers and boxers slid down just enough to show his hard erection and Sehun’s completely off but his T-shirt clinging to his body with sweat. “Fuck me hyung, fuck me-“

And thankfully Junmyeon doesn’t wait, sliding a condom on, slicking himself more with lube.

He's sliding in, in a slow but fluid movement, bottoming out, hips snug against Sehun’s ass and Sehun swears he can see stars.

“I bet you were wearing skinny jeans all week just to taunt me” Junmyeon murmurs breathlessly against Sehun’s back

“Your ass looks great in them. They fit you so well, Sehunnie, they make it so easy to remember what you look like without them on”

“Did you imagine it a lot, hyung?” Sehun asks, noting that he also sounds out of breath, gasping for air, small sounds escaping. “Me, naked?”

“More than I’d like to admit” he responds without hesitation, hands sliding up Sehun’s sides, underneath his T-shirt, finally taking it off successfully. His presses his lips along Sehun’s spine just the very next moment.

“Well, are you going to move?” Sehun circles his hips a little, feeling satisfaction at the moan it takes out of Junmyeon “Or are you too overwhelmed by my amazing ass?” he’s teasing now, air back in his body, only wanting Junmyeon to fuck into him.

Junmyeon snorts a laugh.

“So bratty. Even like this” he snaps his hips then, successfully ridding Sehun of any more ‘bratty’ comments.

It’s fast and desperate, Sehun feeling like he’s on edge for the whole time, backing up into Junmyeon’s thrusts, his back arching, whole upper body low on the bed.

Only his hips are up, gripped by Junmyeon’s strong hold. Sehun’s fingers are digging into the mattress, grasping at the sheets, moans muffled by the pillows. He feels dizzy with the unrelenting pace, but encourages it, wouldn’t want it any different right now.

His orgasm hits him suddenly, unexpectedly, his thighs shaking with it as he comes all over Junmyeon’s clean sheets.

“Ah shit-“ Junmyeon’s hips stutter at Sehun tightening around him. “Can I come on you, Sehun-ah?” he asks, as if Sehun could ever say no to that.

“Yeah” the younger whimpers out, the oversensitivity making his head spin.

Junmyeon speeds up then, Sehun letting out another whimper, before he pulls out completely. Sehun can hear a deep grunt behind him and then he can feel some warmth hitting his ass and his lower back.

Junmyeon curses softly.

Sehun lets his hips move back down to rest against the bed, as Junmyeon walks around it and gets some wet wipes out from the bedside drawer.

“This image will definitely be burned into my brain for a long time” the tutor comments,

before wiping his cum off of Sehun’s skin.

“Hmm, are you going to touch yourself thinking about it hyung?” Sehun teases again, voice low, feeling so good now that he’s been fucked so thoroughly, all his muscles relaxed, limp on the mattress.

Junmyeon turns Sehun on his back then, hovering above him as he kisses him, deep, tongue exploring Sehun’s mouth, teeth teasingly nibbling on his lip.

“I definitely will” he purrs, still in Sehun’s space, his breath tickling Sehun’s face in the best way.

He kisses him again, and Sehun melts into it, tangling his hands in Junmyeon’s hair. He ignores the strings in his heart being pulled and lets himself just enjoy it.

“As much as I’d like to lay here and make out with you for hours, I do have two appointments later today”

Junmyeon says after a couple of minutes of just them in each other’s space.

“And we still have to teach you some things today.”

“But hyuuung” Sehun whines, hiding his head in the pillow. “you just fucked my brains out” he pouts, turning to look at Junmyeon. T

he older just eyes him with amusement. “How am I supposed to focus without a brain?”

“You’re not going to get out of tutoring with aegyo, Sehun” Junmyeon giggles, running a hand through Sehun’s hair. “Now come on, get dressed and lets get down to business, so to speak”

He laughs at his own joke, as Sehun groans and hides his face in the pillow again.

In the end Sehun does get out of bed. He joins Junmyeon in his study, at first distracted, but finally focusing enough so that some of the things Junmyeon explains to him do stick in his brain.

He’s fascinated by Junmyeon’s ability to explain even the most complicated concepts in words that Sehun understands, making business so much easier. He still hates it, but at least now it comes with less hassle.

But then their hour is up, and it’s Sehun’s time to leave.

As Junmyeon explains, Joohyun is out of town so Junmyeon had to take over her tattoo appointments. Sehun almost asks if he could go with him, but in the end he doesn’t, giving Junmyeon a long hug instead, and leaving before he lingers long enough to get tempted to kiss him, too.

***

It’s the next day when Chanyeol sits down at the table in their shared kitchen, right in front of Sehun.

“Let’s talk”

Sehun slows down chewing his eggs and looks at Chanyeol confused.

“About what?” he asks eventually, when Chanyeol doesn’t follow it up with anything more.

“You.” Chanyeol makes himself more comfortable in the chair, leaning over the table. “And your not-so-secret secret”

“What secret?” Sehun frowns, swallowing his food.

“Well…” Chanyeol looks like he’s been waiting for this moment, as a knowing smile shows up on his face.

“First of all, the hickeys. Then, you keep on smiling at your phone. And also, I know a ‘I just bottomed’ limp when I see one, and you definitely came back home with one yesterday.”

Sehun can feel a blush coming up on his face. Still, he tries to keep his expression neutral.

“So?”

“What do you mean ‘so’?” Chanyeol rolls his eyes and steals a cherry tomato off of his plate. He pops it into his mouth. “You’re dating someone?”

Sehun feels taken aback by the question. He assumed Chanyeol doesn’t really pay attention to things like that.

The older has always been a bit oblivious to things around him, so maybe Sehun just didn’t expect him to mention anything.

“Not really…” Sehun answers truthfully. Chanyeol doesn’t look convinced.

“Come on, I’m your friend, don’t lie to me” he pushes his shoulder playfully,

but Sehun still feels a ping of guilt. He hasn’t been really telling Chanyeol that much recently. And it’s not like he’s trying to hide things exactly, it’s just…

“I’m not lying.” Sehun shrugs and looks down at his plate. “I’m not really /dating/ him…”

“Aha!” Chanyeol exclaims triumphantly “so there is a ‘him’?” he steals another tomato and Sehun looks up again, meeting Chanyeol’s wide smile.

“Yes, you could say that. We’re just kind of…” he trails off, not sure what to call it.

“Hooking up?” Chanyeol suggests helpfully.

“Yeah.” Sehun supposes that it will do. Hooking up, that was certainly a thing him and Junmyeon were doing. “You could call it that.”

Chanyeol hums thoughtfully, nibbling at the tomato. Sehun always ate the little things at once, just popping them into his mouth, but for some

reason Chanyeol always insisted on biting them in half, sometimes squirting the seeds everywhere.

“Is it Junmyeon?” he suddenly asks, and Sehun is thankful he’s not currently chewing on anything, because he would definitely choke on it. He fails to breathe for a few seconds.

“Why would you think that?” Sehun realises too late that his silence basically confirmed Chanyeol’s suspicions.

“Come on Sehun, I’m not an idiot.”

“That’s debatable” Sehun murmurs, even though his heart is hammering in his chest.

“Hey!” Chanyeol laughs and punches his playfully in the shoulder again. “I see things, and I understand things, you know? Sometimes it’s just easier to pretend I don’t notice. Easier on me, easier on other people.”

He shrugs, and moves on quickly, even though it sounds like he’s trying to say something important. “Baekhyun and Yixing’s teasing was a clue. You guys interacting was another clue. Th fact that he was the one to bring you home yesterday was like, the biggest clue there was”

Sehun hides his face in his palms, sighing deeply.

“It’s not… I’m not doing anything bad, okay? I know he’s married but it’s… I’m not destroying a marriage, or anything.” He quickly explains.

“I figured” Chanyeol shrugs, like it’s not a big deal.

“I guess there’s more to it than what I know. You don’t have to explain.”

Sehun feels like he needs to change the topic. He catches onto the first thing his brain supplies.

“Anyways, how about you and those two guys?”

“Well…” The tall man starts and Sehun raises an eyebrow.

Chanyeol looks… Sheepish. And to be honest, Sehun never seen Chanyeol look sheepish before. “I, uh… I don’t know. I really like them. A lot.”

“What, like, both of them?”

“Yeah…”

They’re both quiet for a second, Chanyeol waiting for Sehun to say something more and Sehun

not really knowing what to say. Chanyeol notices though, and just continues.

“You know when I told you I don’t really do relationships?” he asks, and how could Sehun forget. They were laying on Chanyeol’s bed together, talking about nothing and everything.

It was after the second time they hooked up. And Chanyeol mentioned it just in passing, that he doesn’t date people, and then moved on, to a different conversation topic, while Sehun’s whole world was rocked.

He just nods.

“It was always because I just felt too guilty. I could fall in love with a person, and be with them, but…” Chanyeol bites his lip. “I don’t know, I was never jealous. I would… Fall for other people, too. But it never stopped me from loving the person I was with. But I guess…”

He trails off. Sehun isn’t sure he understands exactly what Chanyeol is talking about, but still listens.

“So… you want an open relationship…?”

Chanyeol sighs.

“I guess? I don’t know. Open relationships are usually only about sex.”

He puts the half of a cherry tomato he’s been holding in his palm on the table. “And I want to be with other people, too. And, they’re like that.”

“Yixing and Baekhyun?”

“Yeah. They don’t call themselves a couple, because Baekhyun hates that word, but they’re basically are."

"They love each other, but they both sometimes love other people, too. Baekhyun has a kind-of-girlfriend, you know? She lives in Busan, and she knows about Yixing, too. When he talks about her his eyes are basically sparkling." Chanyeol's smiling when he mentions it.

"And Yixing isn’t jealous, he always looks at him with that dreamy look on his face…” Chanyeol himself seems to have a dreamy look on his face right now.

Sehun’s still confused, but he thinks he gets the gist of it. He doesn’t think he fully understands how a person can just…

Love someone and not be jealous that they love a different person, but then again, it’s not his place to understand them.

“So, you want to be their kind-of-boyfriend too?” He asks slowly. Chanyeol nods.

“And you still want to be able to fall for other people, and you’re okay with them falling for other people?”

Chanyeol blushes this time.

“Yeah. I kind of like it, you know? When they’re all cute with each other. Watching them kiss and look at each other lovingly. It’s sweet.”

Sehun purses his lips and takes a breath.

“Okay.” He doesn’t think he can process all of that information today, but then again, he doesn’t really have to. It’s Chanyeol’s life, not his. And at the end of the day, it does make a lot more sense. “Well, good luck with them, then?”

Chanyeol smiles widely, and relaxes, as if weight got taken off of his shoulders.

“Thanks, Sehun-ah” he stands up to ruffle Sehun’s hair. “Good luck with Junmyeon!” he throws at him and goes back to his room before Sehun has a chance to respond.

***

Another three weeks go by, end of January approaching, and what with it, the day Sehun gets to know how he did in his exams. He was quite sure he didn’t fail when he first finished them, but now that the date is closer and closer, more doubts are entering his mind.

“What if I fail” he shares his worries to Seulgi over face time on Saturday, two days before his exam results.

“You won’t fail, Sehunnie” she repeats again, for at least the tenth time during the call. “You said it yourself right after you finished, that you think you did well”

“Yes, but that was weeks ago” Sehun sighs, turning on the bed with his phone still in his head. “I realised so many things I got wrong since then.”

Seulgi puts down the brush he had close to her hair. When Sehun called her, she was just about to start bleaching her roots.

Her phone was propped up against her bathroom mirror as she continued with her task, talking to Sehun.

“Listen Sehun-ah” she parts her hair again, applying the blue goo onto her scalp. “I know exams like these must be stressful, but I bet you did great.” She smiles at the camera

“Especially that you had your married boyfriend help you”

“He’s not my boyfriend” He replies automatically. No matter how many times he had said it since Jongin and Seulgi found out they are hooking up, the two would not stop referring to Junmyeon as Sehun’s married boyfriend.

“Of course he’s not” the girl rolls her eyes. “You just text 24/7, make longing eye contact across the campus grounds, and have regular sex with each other.”

It was basically true. They did text a lot, even when they were both busy, and Sehun doesn’t even know why.

They talk about video games, movies, or just send each other cute pictures of animals back and forth.

(Or sext. They do that sometimes, too.)

He also knows he keeps on looking at Junmyeon whenever he sees him on Campus. Junmyeon usually does a small wave and holds the

eye-contact, as if challenging Sehun to come up to him. The thing is, Sehun isn’t sure how much could he resist being close to Junmyeon and not doing anything obvious, like touching Junmyeon’s thigh, lingering his fingers on his chest, or checking him out.

And all of that could as well be a big neon sign above his head that says ‘WE HAVE SEX’ in bright pink letters.

And oh boy, do they have sex.

Friday was already a guaranteed bedroom session of full on fucking, but now Tuesday got added to that regular list as well.

Junmyeon is there every time Sehun is done dancing with Jongin and Seulgi, and every time they go for a drive. And well, every time the drive ends up with them having sex in one way or another, on top of the hill in that secluded place, with the help of Junmyeon’s tinted windows.

Junmyeon comes over a lot, too, after classes. Sehun lives on campus so it’s always closer. Last time he was here they played Portal together, and well, if after that Junmyeon fucked him right against the wall, then…

“Hey, earth to Sehun.”

Seulgi gets closer to the phone so that her voice is much louder than before and Sehun’s eyes flash back to the screen. “You spaced out there bro. Were you thinking about banging your married boyfriend?” she wiggles her eyebrows, a teasing tone to her words.

“Focus on your own love life, instead of trying to force one on me” Sehun retaliates, to distract from the fact, that yes indeed, he was thinking about that. “How are things with Sooyoung, huh?”

Seulgi does drop the topic of Junmyeon immediately as Sooyoung is mentioned.

He can see her blush, even through the bad quality of the screen.

“Well…” She pops the brush she used to bleach her roots in the sink, now all done. “We kind of have a date tomorrow..?”

“Wait, what? A date? Actual date?” Sehun sits up on he bed as he takes the information in.

Seulgi nods, a big smile appearing on her face. “Wow, Seulgi congratulations!” if he could he would go and hug her right now. She’s been pining over Sooyoung for god knows how long.

“I don’t even know how that happened! When she asked me I thought I was hearing things”

Seulgi starts, then going off on a story about how Sooyoung asked her out. And Sehun feels genuinely happy for her, he does, but he can’t help the sting of bitterness that follows. How come everyone seems to be getting actual boyfriends or girlfriends, but not him?

He quickly shuts that little voice down though, trying to be as happy and as supportive of his friend as he can.

She just finishes thanking Sehun for sending them to that shop together that one party, when Sehun gets a text message.

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰
[image attached]
Thinking of you

Sehun’s heart drops a beat, and then instantly picks up when he reads the it. He completely blanks out on what Seulgi is saying, instead clicking the notification. Why is Junmyeon-

The messaging app opens and he’s greeted with the text again, but this time he can see the photo that accompanies it.

Junmyeon’s hard dick is in the middle of it, his hand wrapped around the base, a pearl of pre-cum, wet and shiny on the very tip.

And well, the message isn’t what Sehun thought it was at first, but he really can’t complain.

“Sorry Seul, I’ll call you later” he quickly tells his friend before disconnecting, not even letting Seulgi respond.

To: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰
What r u thinking about hyung?

He sends the message, already getting rid of his trousers in the process.

From: Junmyeon-hyung 🐰
Hmmm you bend over on my bed
Just after I fucked you
my cum on your thighs and your ass

And fuck, Junmyeon did say before that he’s going to touch himself to that image

of Sehun in his head, but to get actual visual confirmation was something completely else.

And well, what is Sehun to do other than send a pic back?

***

It’s the next day that Sehun’s nerves were at their highest.

His exam results were supposed to be out the next morning, and he just couldn’t stand still. And, well, Seulgi bleaching her hair did give Sehun an idea. Because how else to overcome nerves than to make a drastic change to his appearance?

In retrospection, the idea might have not been that great. Sehun has never bleached his hair before, so he wasn’t really ready for the results. He expected to leave the burning goo on his hair for an hour or so, and then come out of it with platinum blond hair.

He sighs deeply, looking into the mirror. Instead of a beautiful platinum blond, there’s an orangey, yellowy mess on his head.

“How will I fix this” he runs his hand through his hair and cringes at how coarse it feels to the touch. There goes his soft hair, he supposes.

He’s in the middle of doing some research (something he should have done before destroying his hair) when his phone rings, Junmyeon’s name appearing on screen. He panics and almost drops his phone, before actually answering.

“Hello?”

“Sehunnie!”

Junmyeon’s enthusiastic voice sounds through the speaker. “Are you busy?”

Sehun looks at his reflection again.

“…No?”

“My appointment cancelled on me” Sehun can almost hear the pout in his voice. “And it was a big one, too, a whole back piece. So now I have the day free.”

He lets out a sigh and Sehun can feel a small smile growing on his face. “Do you want to hang out instead?”

Sehun thinks. Seeing Junmyeon would definitely be stress relieving, in more ways than one. But then again, his hair…

“Yeah, but… I might have a bit of a.. uhh, problem?” if a complete disaster of a haircut could even be called that. “You can come over, just don’t laugh at me!”

“Why would I laugh at you?”

Sehun sighs

“You’ll see”

When he’s opening the door for Junmyeon half an hour later, the older man stops in the doorway for a second, taking the sight in.

“Oh wow.” He finally says, after what feels like ages to Sehun.

“Don’t judge me, okay?” Sehun closes the door after Junmyeon finally steps in.

“I wanted to bleach it, but I never done it before, so…” he gestures vaguely to his hair as an explanation.

Junmyeon comes up closer then, running his hand through Sehun’s fried hair.

“I was mostly impressed that you still manage to look hot, even with badly bleached hair”

he sounds so genuine saying that, Sehun’s whole face flushes red. “Honestly Sehunnie, you pull it off amazingly.”

Sehun still pouts.

“But I hate it. I need to fix it.” He catches Junmyeon’s wrist and takes his hand off of his head.

“Do you want me to help you? I bleached my hair a few times before” Junmyeon offers a bright smile. “We could easily fix it.”

“I don’t have any more bleach” Sehun admits quietly, and Junmyeon just chuckles.

“We need more things than just bleach, Sehun-ah.” Junmyeon’s hand is in

his hair again, but now mostly inspecting. “Hmm, we could go buy some stuff now, and then come back and fix it?”

Sehun sighs with relief, he was so scared that he damaged his hair beyond repair.

“Okay, just give me a second, I’ll go get dressed”

Sehun slowly goes into his room, expecting Junmyeon to stay in the kitchen to wait for him, but the older man follows him in. He takes a seat by Sehun’s desk, turning the chair so that he could look at Sehun. There’s a smile on his face, as if saying ‘go on’ and Sehun snorts in

amusement but doesn’t tell him to leave. He doesn’t mind Junmyeon watching him, quite the opposite, really. He likes the attention he’s getting from his hyung, deliberately taking a bit longer, sluggishly sliding his sweats off, and bending while pulling the skinny jeans on.

He takes his T-shirt off before choosing what one to wear, standing in front of the closet shirtless. He can see out of the corner of his eye that Junmyeon doesn’t take his eyes off of him.

“Do you like watching guys change, hyung?” he teases, when he finally has a T-shirt on.

It’s a pale coloured one, again, just a simple pastel pink.

“I don’t know about all guys, but you? Definitely” Junmyeon doesn’t even try to deny it at it makes Sehun raise an eyebrow at him, with a weak laugh.

“You’re shameless”

In response he gets a toothy grin, one of his favourite Junmyeon smiles. His heart skips a beat. To hide his undoubtedly soft expression he turns around and grabs his beanie and shoves it on his head, hiding all the strands of his badly bleached hair in it.

They get in Junmyeon’s car instead of walking, even though city centre is not that far away.

“Why can’t we get the things from the corner shop?” Sehun wonders out loud, while Junmyeon drives them towards the mall. That’s where he bought his bleach, the local university 7/11.

“The corner shop doesn’t have the things we need.” Junmyeon just mysteriously responds, not shedding any detail on anything else.

When they arrive at the mall Junmyeon doesn’t hesitate, taking Sehun straight in a specific direction. He knows where he’s going, and pretty soon

Sehun notices that they’re in an area that he only ever just looked at before. The expensive shops, in which Sehun was sure even looking at things costs money.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to afford anything here” he says quietly to Junmyeon, as they get into one of the shops.

He doesn’t even have to look at prices to know they’re high.

“Don’t worry about it” Junmyeon doesn’t even think twice “I said I will fix your hair, so it’s on me now.”

Sehun sighs but doesn’t say anything, just observes Junmyeon picking out the products with ease.

Everything on the bottles is written in English, so he doesn’t really know what the things are, but he trusts Junmyeon’s judgement.

The total comes out to 185,000 won and Sehun almost chokes on nothing.

“Hyung-” He’s about to stop Junmyeon from paying, because while he knew it

would be expensive, he never knew it would be that expensive, but Junmyeon just swipes his card as if it’s nothing and thanks the cashier. Sehun’s too dumbfounded to speak, until they’re out of the store.

“Hyung, that was way too much money!” He looks back when he realises that

he said that too loud and sees the cashier giving him a funny look. “Is the bleach made of gold?”

Junmyeon giggles, lifting the bag up and pointing at it.

“It’s just very good product, Sehunnie.”

“Well, thanks hyung” Sehun looks at the bag with some doubt but accepts it.

“Can’t believe you’re my sugar daddy now.” He jokes, trying to keep a straight face.

Junmyeon laugh loudly this time, pushing Sehun lightly to the side. It breaks Sehun’s poker face as he also starts chuckling.

“Is this what you think a sugar daddy does, Sehunnie? Buys you hair products and pays for your food sometimes?” Junmyeon’s amused voice is quieter now, minding the people around them. “Talking about food, should we grab some before we head back?”

Sehun nods his head enthusiastically and they make their way towards the food court.

“How do you feel about tomorrow?” Junmyeon asks when they both finally sit down with some food. Sehun goes for usual McDonalds, while Junmyeon decided on black bean noodles.

“Don’t remind me” the younger slumps in his seat, letting out a big sigh. Suddenly all the nerves are back, Sehun’s stomach tightening with anxiety. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight.”

Junmyeon looks thoughtful for a minute, chewing on his food.

There’s a bit of black sauce in the corner of his mouth. Sehun’s hand twitches.

“How about we take your mind off of things today?” it sounds mysterious, and so is the expression on Junmyeon’s face. Sehun realises that can mean a lot of different things.

“With what?”

“Well” Junmyeon starts again after taking yet another bite. The dot of sauce is still in the same place. It would be easy to just reach out a hand and wipe it off.

He stays still.

“I was thinking, maybe after your hair is done, we could smoke at mine”

Junmyeon doesn’t mention what they would smoke, but it isn’t hard to guess. Cigarettes aren’t really something to smoke just for fun. “And then maybe we could finally actually go to the club?”

Sehun can feel the tops of his ears becoming red when Junmyeon says that.

He remembers the last time they were supposed to go to the club and what happened instead of that.

“That sounds good, actually” it definitely seems like it would take his mind off of things. “Can’t wait to see you dance. Joohyun-noona mentioned something about that”

“Oh no, I know what Joohyun thinks of my dancing!” Junmyeon looks borderline offended now and Sehun just wants to laugh. “Listen, I may not be a professional dancer, but play any girl group song and I’ll be out there, knowing every move”

Sehun actually does laugh at that, just imagining Junmyeon dancing to a girl group song. Sehun knows some dances, some he saw on television, but Junmyeon seems like he prides himself in learning them.

“I have to see that one day.” He just says. He’s not lying though;

he’d love to see Junmyeon dancing to some of the girl group songs that he feels so confident about.

They finish their food, avoiding the topic of exams again. Sehun asks a little bit more about the club they are going to, but Junmyeon remains cryptic about it, only saying

he used to visit it a lot when he just came back from Canada.

“Let’s go back and fix your hair!” Junmyeon says excited, walking through the mall again, in the direction of the parking. Sehun is the one holding the bag with the cosmetics now, walking slowly alongside Junmyeon.

The he looks at Junmyeon’s face again, and can’t help the snort that leaves his mouth.

“Hyung, you have some-” There’s still that dot of black sauce in the corner of his mouth. He doesn’t hesitate this time, stopping in his track and reaching out to wipe it off with his thumb.

Junmyeon looks at him, confused at first. “Sorry, you had some sauce there…” Sehun wipes his thumb on his sleeve, even though he knows he shouldn’t.

Junmyeon’s smile turns delicate then, as he’s looking at Sehun’s face, eyes searching, for what, Sehun’s not sure.

Then unexpectedly he reaches out, too but instead slides his palm into Sehun’s, intertwining their fingers.

“Thanks, Sehunnie” his voice sounds so soft, and Sehun’s heart is beating so fast and strong that he can hear it echoing in his ears.

He opens his mouth to say something, not even sure himself what he wants to say.

“I-”

“Junmyeon?” a deep voice interrupts whatever Sehun is about to say, and he looks behind Junmyeon, where the voice is. There stands a tall man, very tall man in fact.

Sehun’s pretty sure he’s taller than Chanyeol. He looks uncertain.

Sehun looks at Junmyeon too, because the older man’s hold on his hand is suddenly too tight, too strong, almost crushing. The smile is gone from his face, replaced instead with wide open eyes, a look of panic.

He’s frozen in place for a few seconds, and then he turns to the stranger.

“Yifan.” Junmyeon says, uncomfortably. His hand drops out of Sehun’s hold. His expression is neutral now, but Sehun can see that he’s trying to put on one of his most fake smiles yet, and Sehun hates it.

He doesn’t know this tall man but he hates what he does to Junmyeon.

“Hi. Long time no see” Junmyeon is speaking in English now, the syllables easy on his tongue, even though his voice is shaking slightly. It takes Sehun a moment to realise, but then the stranger responds.

And damn, does Sehun wish he paid more attention to English in school. The tall man says something, Sehun thinks it’s a question. Junmyeon still looks uncomfortable, even though Sehun can see he’s trying his hardest not to.

The tall guy points to another man next to him, who Sehun didn’t see before. That guy is tall too, about Sehun’s height, maybe a bit taller. His handsome, with dark circles under his eyes that instead of making him look tired, just make him look somehow mysterious.

He looks just as confused as Sehun feels, and Sehun wonders if he doesn’t understand either. The two strangers are holding hands, and Sehun has even more questions.

He looks back at Junmyeon. The fake smile is holding a bit better.

The other man’s thick eyebrows are scrunched, frown on his face. He says something. Sehun thinks he can hear the words China and Canada. Junmyeon responds very quickly and shortly, budging in before the tall man can even finish.

And it’s like that for a moment, the stranger trying to speak, then Junmyeon interrupting and offering a fake smile.

Suddenly Junmyeon looks at him.

“Let’s go Sehun-ah” he says, turning on his heel to continue walking out of the mall.

The tall man (Yifan, was it?) doesn’t look like he’s done, face falling, but he doesn’t follow Junmyeon behind.

Sehun catches up. Junmyeon’s face is unreadable, his step fast as he walks towards the parking lot. He doesn’t say anything, his hand rubbing at his own wrist,

the same wrist that has the word ‘STRONG’ tattooed on it, just under the material of Junmyeon’s jacket.

“Are you okay?” Sehun asks carefully.

“Hmm?” Junmyeon turns to look at him, and then as if remembering suddenly, smiles. It doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Sehun-ah!” he sounds enthusiastic, a bit too much. “Let’s just get going and get to the car, okay? Gosh. I’m so full of these black noodles, I hope I’ll be able to move enough to do your hair!” he’s speaking quickly, sentence fumbling out after sentence.

“I guess I’ll just have to eat something light before we go out today. Maybe I’ll order something” He just doesn’t stop.

For the whole ride Sehun wants to ask more about the stranger, but he’s actually not able to. Junmyeon just talks and talks.

He keeps on talking, barely taking time to breathe. Even when he asks a question he just moves on, answering it by himself. Sehun just listens, not quite sure what else can he do. Junmyeon is visibly bothered by something, but he’s trying so hard not to be.

It’s only when Sehun is sitting in the bathroom, on a chair he dragged in from the kitchen, right in front of the mirror, that Junmyeon goes quiet. He’s applying the bleach on Sehun’s hair carefully, with a brush just as Seulgi did on her roots the day before.

It smells strong again, Sehun forgot how much he hates it in those couple of hours. At least this time his scalp isn’t burning with the sensation, Junmyeon avoiding the heavily bleached parts.

“How do you know so much about bleaching hair?” Sehun asks after a moment of silence.

“Is hairdressing your other secret side business?”

Junmyeon giggles, glancing at Sehun through the mirror. It’s his real smile, even though his gaze isn’t completely in it.

“I used to dye my hair by myself a lot.”

“You had dyed hair?” Sehun can’t imagine Junmyeon with anything other than the dark brown, almost black hair, neatly pushed back. But then again, before he knew about his tattoos, he would never imagine the man with ink on his body either.

“Yeah” Junmyeon reaches for some more of the blue goo. He was almost done, it seemed, only a small portion of Sehun’s hair was left. “I was mostly blond, but I did go pink one time. Not for long though.”

“Pink?!” Sehun almost turns around, but last minute remembers that

making sudden movements while someone is applying bleach to your hair might not be the best idea. “Do you have any pictures?”

“I don’t think it’s exactly a pink you might think about.” the sentence is followed with a hum. “And no, I don’t think I do, but Baekhyun probably does.”

Junmyeon puts everything down, finally done with what he was doing to Sehun’s hair.

“I’m gonna text him” Sehun quickly takes his phone out while Junmyeon is getting rid of his disposable gloves in the small bathroom bin.

“You having Baekhyun’s number seems like a recipe for disaster” Junmyeon’s laugh echoes through the bathroom as he’s washing his hands.

Sehun only takes out his phone out of his pocket and pulls up Baekhyun’s number on the messaging app.

The man just texted him out of the blue one day, probably having taken his number from Chanyeol, and Sehun had it in his phone since then. He wasn’t sure what Baekhyun needed his number for, because they haven’t talked since then, but he guessed it could come in handy.

And just a minute later it turns out it definitely did, as his phone starts buzzing, picture after picture arriving.

“Woah” Junmyeon was right. When Sehun first heard ‘pink’ he imagined a colour much brighter than the one Junmyeon had on the picture.

“You got them already?”

Junmyeon leans down on Sehun’s shoulder to look at the pictures with him. He’s not even that close, being careful about the bleach on Sehun’s hair, but Sehun’s heart still squeezes in his chest.

“Oh, I forgot how good that colour looked on me”

Sehun can’t help but agree.

The first picture he sees is a selfie, Junmyeon’s usual haircut of his hair pushed back, but a dark, ashy pink. Baekhyun is on the picture too, hair blue out of all colours, which makes Sehun tilt his head in confusion. He swipes right, and there’s another picture.

This one of Junmyeon laughing with Joohyun and some other girl Sehun doesn’t recognise. His hair is down in this one, covering his forehead. He doesn’t seem to have his neck tattooed yet, but his arms are fully covered in ink.

“That’s Seungwan. Joohyun’s girlfriend”

Junmyeon refers to the other woman in the picture. She’s even shorter than Joohyun, making Sehun wonder just how short she must be. He swipes again and before he can even notice the picture, he can feel Junmyeon stiffen behind him, body going tense.

The picture has Junmyeon smiling, one of his real smiles, wide and making his eyes almost disappear. His hair is a bit more washed out than the rest of the pictures, which makes Sehun think that the picture was taken a bit later than the previous ones.

There’s a man next to him, his arm slung across Junmyeon’s shoulder, a similar expression on his face. There’s something vaguely familiar about him.

“Is this the guy we saw today?” Sehun asks before he can stop himself. He immediately curses in his head at his own lack of tact.

Junmyeon moves up from his shoulders and Sehun turns around to look at him. He has a careful smile on his face, calculated, so that Sehun once again can’t really read him.

“Yeah.” He answers simply. “That’s Kris. He’s my ex”

Sehun nods and looks down awkwardly, but then looks at Junmyeon again when the other man chuckles, unexpectedly.

“It’s okay. You can ask questions, you know?”

He watches Junmyeon for a moment, trying to look for something in his face, not even sure what himself.

“Sorry. You don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want to. You seemed… affected when we bumped into him today.”

“Ah” Junmyeon looks sheepish now, as if he didn’t expect Sehun to say that. Maybe he didn’t think Sehun noticed anything.

He did try to act like nothing was wrong for the whole time. “No, that was.. I was just surprised. I haven’t seen him in years” Their eyes meet again, even though Sehun still feels slightly hesitant. “I’ve been over him for a long time. I just never thought I’d see him in Korea.”

“Did you date him back in Canada then?” The two did talk in English to each other, so that would make the most sense.

“Yeah.” Junmyeon sits down on the edge of the bathtub, facing Sehun who was still sitting on the chair.

“He was an overseas student too, from China. Although he lived in Canada much longer than I did.”

“Ah. So you met him in university?” Sehun didn’t know how many questions was okay to ask, but he was curious about Junmyeon’s live, especially his live in Canada.

Junmyeon wasn’t exactly secretive, he talked about himself, but only when Sehun asked.

“Well, no” Junmyeon laughs now, looking down at the floor and then back at Sehun. “There was this girl I used to hook up with sometimes when I was still in uni.” He starts and

Sehun wonders what a random girl has to do with the story.

“When she found out I like guys too she said there’s this other guy she sometimes hooks up with that also likes men” as Junmyeon continues Sehun can already predict where it was going.

“She wanted a threesome. I said it wasn’t my thing. She showed me his picture and I said okay. We kinda hit it off afterwards.”

Sehun tries his very best to keep it in, but in the end he snorts a small laugh out, which has Junmyeon immediately following.

“Yeah, the girl wasn’t too happy when we both bailed on her booty calls after that”

The topic moves away from Junmyeon’s ex, and the two men go into the living room instead, Junmyeon putting a timer on his phone to remind them when Sehun should clean the bleach out of his hair.

They decide to play video games while they wait, going for Devil May Cry this time, exchanging the controller between each other. Sehun complains that it’s the worst Devil May Cry game but Junmyeon happily announces that it’s his favourite, and suddenly it doesn’t seem so bad.

When it’s time to wash the bleach out of Sehun’s hair they both go into the bathroom, Sehun kneeling in front of the bathtub, washing the terribly smelling substance out with the shampoo Junmyeon bought. Junmyeon hands him another bottle when he’s done, and this one is purple.

“Leave it in your hair for a few minutes” he says, so Sehun does.

He ends up following all of Junmyeon’s instructions and he never knew the process could be this complicated. After he washes the purple substance Junmyeon applies actual hair dye to his hair,

which (after another gaming session) is washed out with some more of the expensive shampoo and conditioner, and at the end something called a hair mask. Sehun didn’t even know there’s masks for your hair

He can’t complain though when after drying his hair he looks in the mirror.

“Oh wow” he runs a hand through his own hair and he’s immediately surprised at how soft it feels when compared to this morning. Must be all the pricey products Junmyeon got for him. “I look good.”

“You look hot.” Junmyeon’s hand wind up in his hair too.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone at the club will instantly offer to buy you a drink" he moves the hair off of Sehun’s face, pushing it back. Sehun can’t stop staring at his face, the concentrated look in his eye, the slightly drawn together eyebrows.

“Can’t say no to so many free drinks” Sehun responds and Junmyeon looks amused now, hands resting together on Sehun’s shoulders, palms still in his hair.

“What if I counter offer every one of them?” Junmyeon’s voice is lower now “Will you only accept the drinks from me?”

Sehun hates that he instantly reads into it, probably overthinking massively. Junmyeon just teases. Just teases, with his eyes looking straight into Sehun’s, one of those looks that made his knees weak even before they started hooking up.

His throat is dry, so he swallows.

“I’d rather get double the drink then” he tries to add the bit of humour he can muster into the words.

He knows it works when Junmyeon laughs heartily, hands moving back down.

“Greedy” he comments “Talking about clubbing, we should go back to mine. Smoke a bit before we go.”

Sehun agrees, looking at his hair once again, appreciating the new look one more time.

“I just need to grab something to change into. Can’t exactly go clubbing in sweatpants” he makes his way to his room and finds Junmyeon following him behind.

“Let me help you” the man stands right next to Sehun in front of his closet and then quickly looks through the shirts on the hangers. To Sehun’s dismay the first thing he pulls out isn't a thing he would normally wear clubbing. Or, ever wear clubbing, for that instance.

“Is that a crop top?” Junmyeon’s Voice sounds somewhere between shock and excitement. He's holding the dreaded shirt in front of him, looking at it from all sides. Sehun quickly grabs it out of his hands and shoves it back in the closet.

“It's not mine! It's Jongin’s. He left it behind by accident.”

Junmyeon takes the crop top out again, now putting it up against Sehun’s body.

“Well I think you’d look good in it.” He eyes Sehun up and down, as if he's already wearing it, Making Sehun’s cheeks burn.

It's not that he thinks the crop top is ugly. It's actually quite a nice piece of clothing, Jongin always having a good taste in fashion. It's black, with messy seams at the bottom and a flashy graphic on the chest area.

“Of course I would. I just don’t feel like getting hate crimed tonight” Sehun isn’t really opposed to wearing a crop top, just the idea of being around drunk straight men in one didn’t seem all that appealing.

“I don’t think anyone would say anything in the place I'm taking you to” Junmyeon takes the top off of the hanger. “Quite the opposite”

“Are we going to a gay club?” Sehun asks, surprised. Junmyeon is closeted so he didn’t expect them to go anywhere near Itaewon’s gay district.

“Not exactly. It’s more of a… no labels club. Private and exclusive.”

Sehun looks at the crop top in Junmyeon’s hands again, before taking it from him.

“I’ll wear it” he doesn’t miss the flash of excitement in Junmyeon’s eyes.

“But if someone has a problem with it, I expect you to protect me”

“Of course I will.” Junmyeon responds instantly, as if Sehun didn’t even have to ask.

Before his face can betray him any further, Sehun looks back into his closet to pick the rest of his outfit.

He decides on simple black skinny jeans to go with the black top, and already feels weird about it, even though he’s not wearing it yet. Not bad weird though, just… different. His clothes usually have more colour than that, more pastel less… well, black.

“You’d fit right into the place dressed like that” Junmyeon reassures him, and it makes him feel a bit better, more confident.

They take Junmyeon’s car back to his apartment, Sehun not being able to stop staring at his own reflection in the mirror attached to the sun protector.

Junmyeon laughs at him at one point, but then Sehun catches him looking sometimes too, when he doesn’t have to look at the road.

The radio plays a mellow English song that Junmyeon is quietly humming along to, singing a few words here and there.

The sun is low in the sky, it being the middle of winter, but it manages to shine right through the window and into the car, lighting up Junmyeon’s face. Junmyeon glances at him, and when he sees him looking, he smiles, warm, inviting.

Sehun’s heart skips a beat. He wills his gaze to look down, heartbeat racing now.

It’s quite undeniable at this point and he knows it. Knows what his heartbeat means, knows what the tight feeling in his stomach is.

Still, he pushes his thoughts away.

***

Junmyeon rolls the first joint only a few minutes after they get inside. They sit down in the living room, Junmyeon going through the process slowly, showing Sehun every step carefully.

“I think I’ll be able to roll the next one” he says, repeating the steps in his head.

It doesn’t seem that complicated, not really.

“We’ll see” Junmyeon lights up the joint, taking the first few pulls before passing it to Sehun. The younger pauses for a second, observing Junmyeon’s shoulders slouching almost instantly, as if all the tension just left him at once.

He takes a pull himself and can feel some of it too. The slight relaxation, along with the tingling sensation in his digits. His head feels dizzy for a second so he takes another pull, now feeling more mellow. The joint seems strong, Sehun falling under quicker than last time.

It doesn’t take many more hits for Junmyeon to attach himself to Sehun’s side on the couch, almost lying across him. Sehun already knew Junmyeon got touchy when he was high, and he didn’t really mind it. Quite the opposite, he himself was craving the touch of another person while

the smoke was flowing through his body so he welcomed it. Especially that it was Junmyeon with his arm slung around Sehun’s torso.

The TV plays in the background, Junmyeon having put it on at some point or another. Sehun feels heavy, glued to the couch, and glued to the screen.

It’s some sort of comedy or something, because Sehun finds himself laughing every now and again at some things the characters say. Or maybe it’s not a comedy. Maybe Sehun just finds things funny because everything seems weird now.

The joint is definitely more than he was used to previously, but he really doesn’t mind. Not with how nice it feels to have Junmyeon there, by his side. How warm his skin is, even through fabric.

He wonders if he’ll ever get to touch it again after May rolls around.

“I wish I had more” Junmyeon suddenly says, and Sehun almost agrees, before realising that Junmyeon probably isn’t talking about what Sehun is thinking about.

“More weed?” He asks. He’s pretty sure Junmyeon has more weed right here, only a tiny bit away. On the floor, somewhere.

!TRIGGER WARNING!

in short: drugs

more detail: mention of class A party drugs (MDMA/Ecstasy), making questionable decisions involving said drugs while being high on weed

this story will have mention/use of drugs in some parts from now on, TWs will always be in place

He doesn’t understand why Junmyeon would need more though.

“No, I-“ Junmyeon pulls away to sit up and Sehun almost chases after him, seeking the comforting warmth. But then Junmyeon looks at him, looking more sober than Sehun feels. “Sehun, how do you feel about party drugs?”

Sehun doesn’t really register the question at first, all he can see is Junmyeon’s moving lips.

“About what?”

“Party drugs.” Junmyeon repeats, and Sehun wishes Junmyeon didn’t need his mouth to speak, because it’s very distracting. “Well, Ecstasy in particular”

Sehun frowns, the name familiar.

“I think Chanyeol tried it once maybe” it’s probable, knowing Chanyeol. “I think he said it was fun.”

“Well, how would you feel if I got some today?” Junmyeon asks, pulling closer to Sehun again, but still looking at him. “Would that be okay?”

Sehun doesn’t really know much about party drugs, he realises. He knows they’re not as uncommon as he thought as a child.

“Yeah?” he doesn’t see why he shouldn’t be okay with it. Chanyeol said it was fun. He saw people swallowing all kinds of pills during a rave he went to once.

They seemed fine, if not ever more fun to be around. “Can I have some too?” The question leaves before he can really think about it.

“You sure?” Junmyeon sneaks an arm around him again and Sehun basically melts into him.

“Yeah. I want to feel fun with you, too.”

Junmyeon stays quiet and Sehun takes this time to sink into the heat of his body. Without disturbing him, Junmyeon reaches for his phone.

“Okay. I'm texting Baekhyun then.”

Sehun doesn’t really know why Junmyeon has to text Baekhyun, but he doesn’t feel like he needs to know.

All he needs right now is to stay like this, close to Junmyeon. It always felt good, but weed made it feel even better, as if this was where he was always supposed to be. Cuddled underneath Junmyeon’s arm, on Junmyeon’s expensive couch.

“Are you tired?”

Junmyeon asks quietly, and Sehun moves his head to answer him.

He’s close, closer than Sehun expected and than he was prepared for. His face is right there, and he looks so gentle, instead of speaking Sehun reaches out and kisses Junmyeon with a hand resting on the man’s cheek.

Junmyeon stays still for only a second, before he returns the kiss, softly at first, but then catching up with Sehun’s eagerness. And Sehun is very eager. He turns his body more, so that he presses against Junmyeon’s, tongue parting his lips.

Junmyeon’s hands rest on his waist, under Sehun’s T-shirt and Sehun can feel a shiver run through his body. He bites Junmyeon’s lip, which draws a sound out of him, low in his throat. He wants to hear more, so he does it again, moving down, to kiss alongside Junmyeon’s jawline.

“I guess that’s a no” Junmyeon says, breathy, quiet. Sehun doesn’t even remember what the question was. How can he, when all his brain knows is Junmyeon’s voice in his ear, Junmyeon’s skin under his lips Junmyeon’s breath hanging in the air, Junmyeon Junmyeon Junmyeon.

Weed is a dangerous thing, he realises, heightening not only his physical senses. He feels like he’s falling, still falling, always falling, with every minute he spends by Junmyeon’s side. Like there’s no end of feelings for Junmyeon, like it’s infinite, and all he can do is

close his eyes and accept it, hoping he won’t crash. Hoping the end of the fall doesn’t end in him breaking apart.

But maybe he’s just high.

His hands are on the edge of Junmyeon’s trousers now, undoing the button, pulling the zipper, sliding a hand inside Junmyeon’s underwear.

Junmyeon tightens his hold on Sehun’s sides. His cock is filling up in Sehun’s palm, twitching every time he nips on the skin of Junmyeon’s neck, until he’s fully hard.

He moves back, kissing Junmyeon on the lips again, swallowing his gasps. He needs to hear more of them.

“Can I suck you off?” he only moves a tiny bit to ask the question, still breathing Junmyeon’s air.

Junmyeon looks at him, pupils wide and eyelids half closed.

“Yes” if Sehun wasn’t as close to Junmyeon as he is, he wouldn’t hear it, could easily mistake it for an exhale.

It pushes him to act, so after a last lingering kiss he moves down until he’s kneeling on the floor in front of Junmyeon, pulling Junmyeon’s trousers and underwear down to his thighs.

Junmyeon’s cock springs free and Sehun immediately wraps his hand around it again.

He makes himself more comfortable, before he dives down and wraps his lips around the head.

“Ah…” Junmyeon’s fingers slither into Sehun’s hair, at first just resting there, but once Sehun moves down along Junmyeon’s length they grip, making Sehun let out a low groan.

He circles his tongue on the tip then, recognising the salty taste of pre-cum, before diving even lower down, the length now heavy on the back oh his tongue, the tip reaching his throat. He swallows around it, loving the whimper Junmyeon makes at that.

Somehow, it’s easier to do this while high, the dizziness caused by his short breathes only adding to the experience. Sehun starts bobbing his head up and down, guided by Junmyeon’s hand. He looks up at Junmyeon, whose eyes are closed and lips parted, head slouched back.

Hot, he’s so hot, it only urges Sehun on. So he continues, speeding up, getting drunk on Junmyeon’s moans, getting addicted to the barely noticeable rolls of his hips.

Falling.

“Yeah, like that-” Junmyeon’s other hand is on Sehun’s face, thumb sliding along the border between

where his cock is disappearing and Sehun’s lips are wrapped around it. It’s weirdly intimate, and Sehun almost loses his pace, instead wanting to lean into Junmyeon’s palm. He quickly gets back into it when Junmyeon chokes out an “I’m close”.

He doesn’t even let Junmyeon entertain the idea that he could come anywhere that’s not Sehun’s mouth, sucking him in even further. He looks up and meets Junmyeon’s eyes, watching him intently and fuck, he’s perfect, Sehun thinks.

Sehun moans around Junmyeon’s cock and that seems to be the last straw for the older man. His body stills underneath Sehun, and just a moment later he’s coming, warm spurs sliding down Sehun’s throat, as he swallows everything, licking Junmyeon’s cock clean.

Only when Junmyeon whimpers with oversensitivity and retracts his hips, does Sehun move away with a pop. He’s not expecting Junmyeon to bring him back up to his mouth, but he can’t complain when Junmyeon’s tongue parts his lips apart, intent to make Sehun go crazy it seems.

Suddenly there’s a ringing noise in the apartment that startles Sehun. Junmyeon doesn’t seem too bothered with it, pulling Sehun onto his lap, hands grabbing Sehun’s ass, squeezing it in his hands. He quickly forgets about the sound, as Junmyeon explores his mouth.

That is until he can hear it again.

“What’s that?” he asks in between Junmyeon’s kisses.

“It’s probably just Baekhyun.” Junmyeon sucks a mark against Sehun’s throat. Baekhyun was here? What for? Something told him he should know that. “He can wait.”

Apparently Baekhyun couldn’t wait because not even a minute later both Sehun and Junmyeon move apart as they can hear someone imputing a pin into the door. The door beeps, with what Sehun supposes is a sound of the wrong pin. Junmyeon sighs and moves away from Sehun, standing up.

The number pad makes noise again as Junmyeon pulls his pants and underwear up.

“I’m coming! Jeez” Junmyeon shouts at the door when the wrong pin sound chimes again.

Still needing to calm down from what just happened, Sehun stays on the couch.

“You know if you put it wrong three times it calls security?” he can hear Junmyeon ask Baekhyun from the hall, followed by Baekhyun’s laugh.

“I know” the front door closes “that’s why it’s so successful at getting you to the door on time.”

“Next time I will just stay put and let them deal with you” Junmyeon murmurs, and even Sehun knows he doesn’t mean it.

The two men come into the living room and Baekhyun sends Sehun a big grin.

“Hi princess!” His eyes seem to take in Sehun’s look, and Sehun forgot that he

he probably looks like a mess. Hair messed up and lips puffy. “Ah, I can see why you took so long to open the door then~” Baekhyun teases, making a crude gesture with his fingers.

“You’re so annoying” Junmyeon pushes Baekhyun’s arm, sounding nothing but amused. “Do you have it?”

Baekhyun reaches into the pocket of his jeans then pulls out a little plastic baggy.

“Of course I do” he waves it in front of Junmyeon’s face and Junmyeon takes it from him promptly. Only now does Sehun remember what they’re actually doing.

“It’s been a long time since you bought some. Glad to see party animal Junmyeon back” Baekhyun turns to Sehun this time, sitting on the couch next to him.

“Party animal?” Sehun asks, with some doubt in his voice, eyes flicking over to Junmyeon.

“Is that right hyung?” he can’t help but chuckle at the thought.

“Don’t listen to him, Sehunnie” Junmyeon sits on the other side, now holding even more things in his hands that he puts on the table. It’s weed things, Sehun realises, as Junmyeon starts rolling a joint.

“He’s just making up stories”

“Oh I have stories alright. And not made up!” Baekhyun leans to the front glancing at the tray with the skins and the grinder.

“Most of the things we did were your idea anyway!” Junmyeon then turns to Sehun, joint already half rolled.

“I just followed along, he was the one who did most of the crazy things.”

Baekhyun scoffs, reaching for Junmyeon’s tray after the other is done. Junmyeon doesn’t even react, which has Sehun thinking they probably do this often.

“What about the time we crashed that wedding while on Ecstasy? That was your idea.” Baekhyun brings up the instance instantly, and Sehun looks at Junmyeon surprised.

“You crashed a wedding?”

“In my defence” Junmyeon quickly starts, bringing his hands up to his chest

“everyone in that reception was so drunk they didn’t really notice two strangers.” Junmyeon lights the joint in his hand, inhaling the smoke slowly. Sehun never knew smoking could look so attractive. “And I just wanted cake.”

“You didn’t even eat it.” Baekhyun laughs and also lights his already rolled joint. That was fast, Sehun thinks. “You just sat there and smushed it with your hand over and over again.”

“You did what?” Sehun knows he’s high but did he hear that correctly?

“Baekhyun, you’re making me sound like a crazy person” he reaches for the little baggie on the side of the table and shows it to Sehun. There’s a bunch of small white pills inside. “These make you feel so many different things. It’s like all your senses are suddenly heightened."

"It feels good to touch things of different textures. Or to talk. Or to even sway around” He takes two of the pills out and moves his palm towards Sehun. “You ready then?”

“Now?” Sehun blinks and looks at Junmyeon’s face.

“Unless you changed your mind?”

!TRIGGER WARNING!

Use of drugs (Ecstasy/MDMA)

Junmyeon slowly starts withdrawing his hand but Sehun just reaches for one of the pills and swiftly puts it in his mouth, reaching for a glass of water on the table to follow it with.

“Eager, huh?” Baekhyun chuckles from where he’s sitting, already looking relaxed from the weed.

“First time?”

“Yeah.” Sehun replies almost sheepishly.

“You’re going to love it. It hits you properly by the third dose, but the first one is quite nice, too.” Baekhyun speaks as Sehun sees Junmyeon swallowing his own pill. He didn’t realise he’d have to take more than one.

Both Junmyeon and Baekhyun start explaining to him the safe ways to take it then. No alcohol, stay hydrated, be careful not to overheat. They explain that he might have the urge to talk and be social, and also might see weird things at times.

Sehun listens to it all, nodding along and smoking the joint Junmyeon passes to him every now and again.

Baekhyun stays for some more time, entertaining them both with stories of the past, his and Junmyeon’s not so sober adventures. Sehun just listens in awe.

And just like Junmyeon said, most of the things they did were Baekhyun's ideas, and half of the time only Baekhyun went through with them while Junmyeon just observed. Still, Sehun can’t stop his laughter when Baekhyun describes how they almost got arrested

for skinny dipping in a park pond in the middle of the night. (Well, Baekhyun was skinny dipping, Junmyeon still had his boxers on as he quickly informs Sehun)

By the time Baekhyun leaves an hour and another joint has passed, and Sehun starts feeling… Different.

He takes a bit longer to get out, looking at himself in the mirror, not used to wearing clothes like that. He doesn’t know how Jongin does it. It’s not like he’s self-conscious about his body, not really. He doesn’t exactly have muscles like Jongin, but he doesn’t mind it.

All the self-consciousness goes out the window when the first thing Junmyeon does after seeing him is get closer and slide his hand across Sehun’s stomach, and then underneath the material of Sehun’s top on the back.

“I knew you’d look hot” he comments, low, and Sehun shudders.

“Of course I do” Junmyeon’s touch feels different, more intense somehow, even though it’s only just gentle. “This feels very nice” he comments out loud for some reason.

“A lot of things feel very nice on ecstasy, Sehunnie”

Junmyeon reaches into the pocket of his jeans and brings out the baggy with pills again, taking two of them out and handing one to Sehun. “Can’t wait to show you just how nice things can feel, after we’re back.”

With that promise, Sehun takes another dose of the night.

It doesn’t take them long to get to the club. The taxi comes soon after, taking them to a road that Sehun doesn’t really associate with clubs.

“Are you sure we’re in the right place?” Sehun asks, as they get out of the car and walk down a suspiciously quiet alleyway.

It definitely doesn’t sound like there’s a club here, there’s just some old, empty buildings and barely any street lamps.

“Yes, definitely” Junmyeon catches his wrist and tugs him along towards one of the buildings.

Sehun didn’t even notice before with how dark the street is, but there’s a man standing right next to a door.

“Hi, Johnny” Junmyeon says in a casual tone, and the man instantly stands up from leaning against a wall and smiles brightly.

“Junmyeon! Haven’t seen you in so long”

Johnny reaches out and wraps his arms around Junmyeon is a hug. Something in Sehun’s stomach churns and as soon as Junmyeon is free from the stranger’s embrace, Sehun moves to rest his arm across Junmyeon’s shoulders. The stranger looks at him then, and then back at Junmyeon.

“Who’s this then?”

“This is Sehun, he’s…” Junmyeon stops then and so does Sehun’s heart. “He’s Sehun”

Johnny laughs as Sehun feels a blush creeping up on his face.

“Sehun, huh?” Johnny looks him up and down slowly, and Sehun almost wonders if he’s being checked out right now.

“Yup” Sehun answers dumbly, and Johnny laughs again.

“Ok then, Sehun, welcome to Underground.” Johnny opens the door he’s standing next to, and Junmyeon starts walking in, Sehun following right next to him, arm still draped over his shoulder.

“Have fun!” he can hear from outside before the door closes.

“Underground?” Sehun looks at Junmyeon expecting some sort of explanation.

“Not a very original name, but it works” Junmyeon sends him a grin and starts taking his coat off, leading Sehun down a barely lit corridor.

There’s a room just by the end of it, in which a young woman sits, visibly bored, reading a book. She doesn’t even pass them a glance when Junmyeon puts his coat on the desk in front of her, urging Sehun to do the same. She passes them a little plastic circle with a number on it.

“We’re all set” Junmyeon pockets the token in one move.

“I still can’t hear any music”

Junmyeon instead of replying, leads them back to the corridor and then to another door. This one looks heavier, and Sehun realises why the moment it opens.

It leads to a staircase, but that’s not the first thing Sehun notices. It’s actually the music that suddenly sounds out in the corridor, not too loud, but definitely at a decent volume. Junmyeon hurries him onto the staircase and closes the door behind them.

They get down stairs, the club-type music getting louder and louder, before they come to another set of doors, and after this one opens, Sehun can finally feel like he’s in a club.

The music is loud, almost overwhelming, in the big room.

It’s not any bigger than the clubs Sehun is used to, lights flashing bright and people dancing with each other. It’s… There’s a certain atmosphere to it that he can’t really understand, but maybe he doesn’t need to.

“Let’s dance!” Junmyeon has to shout at this point, but Sehun hears him, and he follows him onto the dance floor. He’d usually start a night out with drinking, but he doesn’t feel like he has to, especially as the second dose of ecstasy slowly starts entering his system.

As Sehun stats feeling the music, getting into the rhythm, he also notices Junmyeon’s movements. And he can’t help but giggle, feeling the endorphins and pure fondness overwhelming him. Joohyun was correct when she said Junmyeon can’t really dance, but he still looks happy and

charming, even when uncoordinated. He moves his body about, and Sehun can never predict his next move. Junmyeon meets his eyes then, and starts giggling too, but doesn’t stop dancing, instead putting his hands on Sehun’s hips and trying to copy his smooth moves.

Sehun doesn’t know how long they’re on the dance floor, song after song passing, but he's not feeling tired at all. Every move feels satisfying and every note of the songs sounds… good. Everything is just so overwhelmingly good.

“I love Ecstasy” He laughs out into Junmyeon’s ear, holding him close as they continue their dancing. Junmyeon laughs too, and then leads Sehun somewhere, grabbing a bottle of water by reaching behind the bar on the way.

Sehun briefly wonders if Junmyeon should pay for that, but the thought is gone as they enter the bathroom.

There’s people in there, but no one seems to spare them a glance, even as Junmyeon takes out the plastic baggie out of his jeans, taking another two pills out.

He swallows one of them, Sehun watching his Adam’s apple bob as the water runs down his throat. Then instead of handing Sehun the other pill, Junmyeon sends him a daring look, putting it just on the top of his own tongue, and then bringing Sehun down by his nape.

Everything around them suddenly disappears, the noise, the people, even the feeling of the floor under his feet, as Junmyeon’s lips touch his. It doesn’t last long, barely even a breath, a swipe of the tongue. The pill is in Sehun’s mouth now but it doesn’t stop there.

Junmyeon takes a swig of the water but doesn’t swallow, instead bringing Sehun close again. Sehun parts his lips, then the liquid enters his mouth, as he swallows it with the pill.

It should be gross, doing this, but for Sehun it’s anything but.

Junmyeon’s tongue moves across his lower lip, then starts exploring Sehun’s mouth. Their bodies are pressed together, Junmyeon’s arms around Sehun’s neck and Sehun’s wrapped on Junmyeon’s waist. It feels like more than a kiss, it feels as if Junmyeon is melting into his body.

Slowly, every hum, every slight touch amplified, feeling incredible, feeling-

Sehun only remembers they’re in a crowded bathroom, and not completely alone in the whole universe, when someone brushes past him.

He moves his mouth away from Junmyeon’s and almost gives in and kisses him again when the older man’s lips chase after his.

“Let’s go back out there.” Sehun comments, and Junmyeon just looks at him for a few seconds, right into his eyes, right into his soul, it seems.

But then he nods and moves back into the crowd.

This… This, looking at Junmyeon’s ridiculous moves doesn’t feel as heavy on him as that little moment did just a second ago. This is safe.

At some point Junmyeon leads them away again, and for a moment Sehun

thinks it’s to get another dose, even though they just had their third one, but it’s towards the bar instead.

“You said no alcohol” Sehun talks, right into Junmyeon’s ear, not even bothering to keep his distance.

“We still need to drink water.”

Junmyeon responds, hands on the skin of Sehun’s abdomen. He’s close, so close, so Sehun just kisses him. Just because he wants to, pulls him even closer and continues, kissing and kissing, and god, he could do his for hours, for days, for years, forever.

“What can I get you” a loud voice interrupts them and they move away from each other to look at the somehow familiar man. Sehun frowns, trying to remember where he knows him from.

“Hi Heechul, just two waters.” Junmyeon orders, going back to looking up at Sehun with a soft look,

embracing him in a tight hug.

The fact that he knows who the man is now is quickly forgotten, as Junmyeon decides that planting quick but deep kisses on Sehun’s lips as they wait for their waters is more important. Sehun can’t disagree, hands running through Junmyeon’s hair.

Good, so good, everything is just- Sehun can’t describe it. He knows it’s the drugs, it’s got to be the drugs, but he can’t help but think Junmyeon is the cause, too. The feeling of flying and falling at the same time.

“So, kid” Heechul starts when they finally decide to

drink some water in between making out. “How are you enjoying Underground?”

“It’s fun” Sehun only spares Heechul a passing glance, focusing instead on Junmyeon’s throat again. “It’s loud, and nobody seems to care about anything. I love it.”

It’s so easy to talk, so easy to say literally anything.

“And Junmyeon is here” he ads because he can, and Junmyeon kisses him again.

He doesn’t know how long this kiss lasts, but somewhere between Sehun’s tongue in Junmyeon’s mouth and Junmyeon’s teeth on Sehun’s lip,

they’re interrupted again, this time from the side of the dance floor.

“Junmyeon! You’re back!”

Sehun hesitantly moves away from Junmyeon’s lips looking at the two people on their side. It’s a man and a woman, both dressed in similar manner, standing close.

“In the flesh” Junmyeon eyes seem to linger on Sehun’s lips some more, before moving to the two people. “Yuta, Krystal” he greets them both

“Underground isn’t as fun without your crazy dance moves” the woman, Krystal, speaks, which warrants a laugh out of her companion.

“Can we borrow him for a second?” Yuta, looks at Sehun now “Just one dance, for old times sake.”

“Umm” Sehun doesn’t really know why they’re asking him, so he just blinks.

“We promise not to steal him away” Krystal laughs, and within his confusion, Sehun can just nod.

The two turn back to Junmyeon.

“So, what do you say, one dance?”

Junmyeon sends him a glance, removing his hands from around Sehun, and Sehun already misses them.

“Will you be alright? For just a few minutes?”

“Yeah. I’ll just sit here”

Junmyeon leans in to leave one more unexpected kiss on his lips.

“Watch after him” he throws at Heechul, and then he’s being led back to the dance floor.

Sehun tries to ignore the squeeze in his chest, the feeling in his stomach, but it’s a lot harder to do so than usual.

Especially as he watches Junmyeon moving to the music again, Krystal smoothly dancing right in front of him, arm on Junmyeon’s shoulder, and Yuta behind him, palm on Junmyeon’s hip. The three of them sway together, unorganised but somehow beautiful. Beautiful because of Junmyeon.

Junmyeon, who lets them dance close, but not close enough to touch them back, Junmyeon who looks the least coordinated, but who somehow manages to look the most graceful. Junmyeon who should be dancing with Sehun, and Sehun only.

“You okay there?” Heechul asks and Sehun is not.

“I think I’m in love with him” the words just come out, as soon as they appear in his brain, and it’s… It’s a lot. It’s a lot to say to someone who’s a stranger. It's a lot to say out loud after pretending it's not true.

Sehun starts to think Ecstasy wasn’t such a good idea.

Heechul snorts.

“Who isn’t, kid.” He leans over the bar, eyes on the dance floor. Sehun follows his gaze, landing on Junmyeon again. He still looks ridiculous, still moves in an inexperienced way, but something about it is alluring.

Beautiful.

Sehun doesn’t know if it’s Junmyeon’s confidence or maybe the drugs in his system that makes him think so.

“Everyone’s drawn to him, he’s full of charm” Heechul continues. “He has a way with words that makes you think you mean the world to him. Makes you feel special."

"But pretty soon you realise, he talks to everyone in the same way. Smiles at everyone the same way.” Sehun looks back at the bartender, who’s pouring a drink now, taking a swig of it himself. Sehun sips on his water. “He gets in your head, but he’ll never let you get in his."

"You’ll know the way he kisses, but you won’t know what he thinks. How he feels. Or even what he’s really like, outside of the polite, smiling façade.”

Sehun stares at the water in his glass, thoughts running too fast for him to even comprehend them.

Heechul’s words make him uneasy, but not completely surprised. It did feel like that sometimes, as if Junmyeon isn’t completely letting him in.

He looks up again and this time meets Junmyeon’s eyes from across the room.

The man and the woman he’s dancing with are still there, still close but never too close, but Junmyeon doesn’t pay them any attention now as he smiles at Sehun. Sehun can’t help but smile back, even with the mess in his head and the tightness of his stomach.

The song slowly ends and Junmyeon doesn’t waste any more time to come back and stand beside Sehun.

And it’s haunting now, how much more intense he feels once the words are out, how much his emotions mix and turn together in one incomprehensive blur.

Junmyeon lifts himself up on his tip toes, probably to kiss him again, but Sehun turns his head away, heart squeezing.

“You okay?” Junmyeon asks, softly too softly for Sehun to handle right now.

“Yeah, I just… I think I need some fresh air.”

He’s not lying, it does feel like he has trouble breathing. Junmyeon’s cologne smells like it always did, but somehow in this moment it’s overwhelming instead of comforting.

Junmyeon’s eyebrows frown together with worry.

“There’s an outside bit in the back, let’s get you there”

He leads Sehun through the crowd, hand at the small of his back.

The space is occupied by only a few other people, mostly smoking, the heavy smell of cannabis in the air. He makes his way to one of the benches away from everyone else and takes a few deep breaths.

Junmyeon stands in front of him, that concerned look still on and Sehun just has to look away. Heechul’s words still ring in his ears, still echo in his head. And he can’t help but wonder, who else has Junmyeon made feel like they were falling without an end in sight.

“Are you feeling better?” Junmyeon asks after what seems like forever. It’s just a few minutes, of Sehun breathing and looking at the ground, and Junmyeon, like always, sensing that maybe standing in silence is what Sehun needs right now.

“Yeah.” A shaky breath, a glance up, another squeeze of the stomach. It’s okay. It has to be okay if he still wants to be around Junmyeon. It has to be okay if this feeling isn’t going anywhere. “I think I just didn’t prepare myself enough for today.”

“Sorry” Junmyeon’s laugh is almost sheepish as he sits on the bench next to Sehun. “I didn’t exactly give you the most time to think the drugs through.”

“No hyung, it’s okay, I just-” There’s hands on his now, and the touch makes him distracted for a second.

“You’re just always full of surprises” Sehun admits. Since that day he went to get his tattoo done, it seemed like Junmyeon surprised him more and more. That felt like ages ago now. Sehun absentmindedly strokes the tattoo on his arm. “I didn’t expect it all when I first met you.”

“What did you expect then?” there’s a tilt in his tone, almost a laugh, maybe a smile. “What did you think about me when you first met me?”

“I honestly thought you’re a bit boring hyung” Sehun instantly feels mortified after he says the words. “God, sorry, I didn’t mean to- ”

Junmyeon laughs, loud and melodic. It’s the good one. The laugh that Sehun loves.

“Don’t apologise” Junmyeon squeezes his hand, his eyes still crescent shaped. “That’s exactly the kind of image I’m trying to put out there in the world. Boring and unexciting.”

“Well, now I know you’re the opposite” Sehun’s fingers squeeze Junmyeon’s hand back.

“You think I’m interesting and exciting~?” Junmyeon is obviously teasing, an eyebrow raised, but Sehun doesn’t see how he can say anything but the truth.

“Yes.” They keep their eye contact for a while, throwing Sehun back to all those times they looked at each other like that. Except now Junmyeon looks down at Sehun’s lips and Sehun’s breathing stops. “We can go back inside now” Sehun turns his head, standing up from the bench.

Junmyeon doesn’t say anything but he does follow him inside, through the people and back to the bar again. They order two more waters from Heechul, Sehun avoiding looking at him completely, instead focused on Junmyeon’s hands.

"What about you?" Sehun asks out of the blue, leaning closer to Junmyeon so that the other can hear him.

"Huh?"

"What did you think about me, when you first met me?"

Junmyeon smiles, eyes ranking up and down Sehun's body.

He looks amused, and something else that Sehun doesn't quite understand. He takes a step towards him. He opens his mouth, but doesn't offer a response.

"Wanna go dance some more?" Junmyeon is standing close, so close Sehun can feel his soft breath on the skin of his face.

His hand is on Sehun's chest and Sehun puts his own on top of it, arranging Junmyeon's fingers between his. His sensation of touch is heightened, and he can feel the texture of Junmyeon's skin underneath his fingertips. It feels nice.

He nods. The hand travels from his chest to his wrist, then he's being led back to the dance floor.

He can feel the effects of the last dose slowly overtaking his body. The song changes, and at first the melody is mellow, but soon a beat starts coming through from underneath it.

open.spotify.com/track/1fmoCZ6m…

The strobe lights are flashing to the beat, making it seem like he can only see snapshots of people, in different positions every time the lights come on.

Junmyeon stops in the middle of the dancefloor. He starts dancing again, probably looking just as silly as he did before,

but this time Sehun can see it in still frames, instead of in a swift motion.

Junmyeon's eyes are closed, his hair is sticking to his forehead with sweat.

Every still image he sees of him, he looks gorgeous. One snapshot, his hands are in the air, his body twisted a bit.

Next snapshot, his hands are on his hips, lips parted. Another snapshot, there's a slight shadow of a smile on his face.

It doesn't feel real. Sehun forgets they're in the middle of a crowded club, feeling as if he's watching a series of pictures, an art piece.

TRIGGER WARNING

slight drug induced hallucinations (nothing serious)

It can't be real, when there's lights swirling around Junmyeon's body, circling around his hips, travelling down his legs, leaving trails behind his hands.

The beat in the song changes and at the same time Junmyeon's eyes open and he's looking straight at him.

Sehun realises he hasn't moved an inch, he's just watching Junmyeon with awe. Like an art exhibition that he is.

It's almost physical, the intensity of Junmyeon's gaze on him, feels like a weight, as he lets his eyes run down Sehun's body, and back up.

Sehun swears he can feel it, as if it's not Junmyeon's gaze but his hands, touching every part of his skin.

And then everything becomes even more intense, when Junmyeon's hands are actually on him, his shoulders first, then sliding down on his chest, slowly, taking their time.

Sehun's breath hitches. He can feel Junmyeon now, but it still looks just like an art exhibition, with Junmyeon coming to view in the snapshots. The only difference is his eyes don't leave Sehun's.

When the hands are all the way down at the belt of Sehun's pants, they sneak

under the material of his shirt and Sehun can't help but let out a low sound of pleasure.

Everything feels so intense.

Junmyeon moves closer, so that the fronts of their bodies are touching, as his hands move to Sehun's back, sliding up, still underneath his top.

Fingernails are digging into his skin and this time Sehun moans. They're pressed so tightly together, Junmyeon's thigh between Sehun's legs.

Junmyeon's face gets closer. In just two snapshots it's right next to his ear.

"When I first met you" he starts, and for some reason his voice sounds just like a song itself, matching the tempo of the music in the background "I thought to myself, 'How am I going to focus on trying to tutor this guy?'"

He's touching the shell of Sehun's ear with his lips, and a wave of pleasure runs through his body at it. "'when all I want to do'" the lips drag from the bottom up "'is get on my knees'" the fingernails digging into his shoulder blades move down "'and have him fuck my face?'"

"Holy shit" Sehun puts his hands on Junmyeon's hips and Junmyeon's lips move down and then he's mouthing at Sehun's neck, hands sliding down to Sehun's back pockets to squeeze his ass and Sehun moans again. Then again, when Junmyeon sucks on the skin of his neck.

"Wanna get back to my place, Sehunnie?"

As a response Sehun clashes their mouths together.

Junmyeon returns the kiss immediately, with a sigh into Sehun's mouth, that almost sounds like a sigh of relief, as if Sehun could ever said no.

As if he hasn't shown enthusiasm to everything Junmyeon was doing to him.

They can't really make out in the middle of the street though, when they have to wait for a taxi to take them back, so they decide to smoke a joint instead.

Sehun fails to see how that's less risky, but the added weed high on top of his already existing high feels nice, so he doesn't complain.

And he definitely doesn’t complain when as soon they pass Junmyeon’s front door and then the door to his bedroom is locked behind them,

he’s being pressed against it and kissed again, even deeper this time.

And god, was Junmyeon right. Everything feels amazing on Ecstasy, but nothing can compare to Junmyeon’s lips on his neck, Junmyeon’s hands in his boxers, Junmyeon’s skin under his fingertips.

TRIGGER WARNING

more drug induced hallucinations (still not too serious) a lot of drugged up confusion + having sex while on drugs (all consensual)

They’re undressing, and it feels too slow and too fast at the same time. Sehun’s head is a mess now, and he wonders if the weird neon lights flying around Junmyeon’s naked body, swirling around his limbs and torso should still be there.

He wonders, as Junmyeon sinks down on his cock while Sehun’s lying on the bed, if the light-formed wings should be right there on Junmyeon’s back.

But then again, don’t they belong there? Junmyeon doesn’t hold back his moans as he lifts his body up and slams it back down,

tight around Sehun, and he does sound like an angel. The wings of light get even bigger behind him when Sehun, overwhelmed by pleasure, bucks his hips up and Junmyeon’s head is thrown back with a cry and a delighted laugh at the same time.

Sehun lifts himself up, wrapping his hands around Junmyeon, being mindful of the wings of light and thrusts up again, feeling Junmyeon’s body tremble in his hold now, hearing the fast beating of Junmyeon's heart. Or maybe it’s his own heartbeat.

Then again, at this point their bodies are so entangled they might as well have one heart.

“You’re so beautiful” Sehun whimpers against Junmyeon’s neck as they both move. “so wonderful, so-” Junmyeon interrupts him with a deep kiss but there’s so much more Sehun wants to say.

Instead he holds Junmyeon even closer, fucking into him even deeper, melting into him and falling and falling and falling.

When he comes it’s sudden but gradual, overwhelming and Junmyeon’s kiss slowly gets him through it.

It doesn’t stop, and Sehun is glad, because all he wants right now is have Junmyeon closer and closer. Junmyeon’s mouth is still on his and Sehun can feel him shake and tighten around him, experiencing his own climax with a moan mixed in between Sehun’s breaths.

Junmyeon untangles them but only to lie Sehun on his back and hover above him again, this time pushing lubed up fingers into Sehun instead, and Sehun doesn’t think he’d ever became hard again so fast after coming. But how could he not when Junmyeon’s fingers against that one spot

in him feel like he’s injecting him with pure pleasure.

The wings made of light are still there when Junmyeon fucks him into the mattress ten minutes later, so he holds onto him, believing that maybe they will help with his feeling of falling deeper and deeper.

***

***

Sehun slowly opens his eyes, taking in his surroundings.

He’s feeling… weird. Like he has the oddest hangover ever, with his whole body aching as a bonus.

The room is bright, brighter than his dorm room, and it only takes him a moment to recognise it.

He looks around, startling when he meets Junmyeon’s very much open eyes.

“Good morning” Junmyeon’s soft smile greets him and Sehun feels breathless. “How are you feeling?”

Sehun takes his time to take in the picture of Junmyeon’s face, rays of sunlight delicately framing it.

He really is beautiful, even after just waking up, even with messy hair and looking visibly tired. And Sehun remembers telling him that yesterday. He remembers everything, unlike when he’s drunk or high on weed. No, he remembers everything from yesterday with excruciating detail.

Their whole night, during which it didn’t feel like they stopped even for a second, their whole evening in the club and even… Even Sehun’s admission.

It’s hard to not think about it now, when Junmyeon is right in front of him, making his heart race.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Junmyeon giggles while asking the question and there’s an actual blush on his face.

“Like what?” Sehun also smiles, voice quiet.

Junmyeon makes the same adorable sound again, moving closer and hiding his face in Sehun’s chest.

“Why are you hiding?” Sehun can’t hide the amusement from his voice. He sneaks his hand to pet Junmyeon’s hair, feeling his breath against his chest.

“Because you’re looking at me weirdly!” Junmyeon bites Sehun’s skin playfully as if to accentuate his point. Sehun laughs.

“You’re so cute” the words are out before he can even think of stopping them, but he doesn’t regret them when Junmyeon’s reaction is to make another adorable sound and cuddle more into his chest.

“Stop, I’m older than you” even as he says it there’s a whiny note in his voice.

“You’re the cute one, not me” Junmyeon adds, moving away again to look back at Sehun.

Sehun’s hand travels from Junmyeon’s head onto his cheek.

And there’s so many things to say. He can just say Junmyeon is cute again, maybe resulting in more whining and giggles.

He could say Junmyeon is beautiful, just like he remembers saying last night in a haze of passion, but he isn’t that sure how Junmyeon would react. He could say how he feels about him, but just the thought of that makes his stomach churn.

So instead he just looks at him again, thumb stroking Junmyeon’s cheek, and this time instead of hiding, Junmyeon looks back. There’s a hint of a blush still on his face, and a hint of something else in his eyes.

And maybe they could stay like this for longer,

or maybe something would happen, but Sehun doesn’t get to know.

“Shit, the results are out today” he says as soon as he realises, suddenly the anxiety coming back. He moves up to see where his phone might be, noticing their clothes and underwear scattered all over the floor.

“Here, you can use my phone if that’s what you’re looking for.” Junmyeon sits up as well, grabbing his mobile from the bedside table and unlocking it before passing it to Sehun.

Sehun takes a deep breath as he logs into his email on Junmyeon’s phone.

“I can’t look at it” he says as soon as the website loads, putting the phone down and taking a few deep breaths.

“Sehunnie” Junmyeon’s arms wrap around his torso, then he can feel a small kiss on his shoulder. “You did well, I’m sure of it.”

“Can you check it for me?”

Sehun passes the phone to Junmyeon who takes it after pressing another soft kiss on Sehun’s shoulder. Without moving away Junmyeon scrolls through the phone and Sehun just has to close his eyes.

Junmyeon is quiet for longer than Sehun expects, which makes his stress even higher.

“Well? What is it?” he asks impatiently. “Did I fail? Oh my god I failed right? I knew that I should-”

“Sehunnie” the tone of Junmyeon’s voice makes Sehun open his eyes and look at the older man. Junmyeon is smiling widely, eyes almost glistering.

“Theory 77%. Business Management 79% and Business Ethics…” he hugs Sehun even closer. “84%”

“I…” Sehun tries to process what he just heard but none of it registers. He takes the phone back from Junmyeon to check himself, and sure enough all the scores are there. “I passed.”

“Not only did you pass, you passed with flying colours!” Junmyeon locks his phone, grabbing it out of Sehun’s hands and throwing it somewhere on the mattress. “I’m so proud of you” Junmyeon exclaims and then his lips are on Sehun’s, a deep kiss through which Sehun can still feel

Junmyeon’s smile. “Let me show you how proud I am”

As Junmyeon’s kisses slowly move down Sehun’s body, then lower, Sehun can’t help but think all that studying was definitely worth it.

***

January transitions into February with its cold winds unrelenting. The lectures go back to normal soon after the exam results are dropped, and Sehun didn’t get to celebrate for long. All they were preparing him for now were the actual end of year, end of the whole course exams,

and day by day Sehun hated his choice of studies more and more.

Yes, his weekly tutoring with Junmyeon helps, but only to a point. Junmyeon can help with the material, but he can not take away Sehun’s disdain for business.

He does make the time after their sessions worth it though, seemingly being the only thing still keeping Sehun sane.

Well, that, and maybe Tuesdays, too.

“I really don’t understand why you’re not studying dance, Sehun-ah” Seulgi says to him through deep breaths, between taking

small sips of water. They’re in the small studio again, another one of their dance Tuesdays that at this point were a weekly thing, too. “You’re learning this choreography faster than some people in class”

Sehun doesn’t have the energy to start the 'disapproving parents' talk.

He just shrugs, leaning down, continuing his light stretching. It’s probably a rhetorical question anyway, looking at how Seulgi knows exactly why he has to study business.

“She’s right” Jongin chimes in, sitting next to the two of them on the floor with his own bottle of water.

“This is the end of year showcase choreography Sehun, and you’re nailing it. Teacher Choi would actually immediately enrol you onto the course if she saw you just now.”

Sehun rolls his eyes, even though his friends’ words do make him feel good.

The dance is hard, he has to admit that, but something about pushing himself with just how much he can move, just how much he can learn, is so satisfying. Those few minutes when the music is on and he’s performing the high energy choreographed number makes him forget about all

the worries in his head, be it business or the plane tickets dated to May that he knows Junmyeon has somewhere in his house.

“Stop trying to butter up to me guys. It’s just dancing.” Sehun says, even though he himself doesn’t believe that. It’s not just dancing.

It has never been just dancing.

Seulgi and Jongin exchange a quick glance.

“You know…” Seulgi starts, almost hesitantly “They expanded on the scholarships for the dance department for next year. Five new all-paid scholarships.”

Sehun tightens his jaw, taking a deep breath.

“So, Seulgi, any birthday plans?” he ignores the girl's comment and changes the topic, not even trying to be subtle about it. She seems to debate internally whether to drop it or not, but then just decides to do so.

“Well, I know we usually go somewhere, but I was thinking of spending this birthday with Sooyoung…”

Jongin gasps dramatically.

“You want to abandon us for a girl? Bros before hoes Seulgi!” he pouts for show too, and Sehun is glad that they both dropped the topic.

“You spend all of your birthdays with Kyungsoo!” Seulgi quickly counterattacks

“That’s because our birthdays are just two days apart! It’s a sign from the universe!”

“A sign of what?” Sehun gets into the conversation “That you should dedicate a whole day to boning each other?”

Seulgi bursts out laughing and Sehun joins her, amidst Jongin’s protests.

And just like that it goes back to normal, Sehun now adding another thing to the list of things he pushes to the back of his mind, to not think about.

***

The day didn’t seem to be any different than their other Fridays at first.

Just a normal tutoring session, maybe with a bit more cheeky comments here and there than usual (and a lot of talking about ‘rewards’ in very flirty tones.) as well as a promise of something more after.

Joohyun was away again, so they didn’t bother with keeping the flirting and closeness to Junmyeon’s rooms only.

They’re standing in the kitchen, as close as they can actually get without touching each other. Sometimes it's like a game, teasing, as if testing who’d give in first.

And Sehun is about to give in, bring Junmyeon close and touch him all over, but he doesn’t get to. Junmyeon phone makes a noise, and so he checks it, that teasing smile still on his face at first, before being replaced by a more concerned expression.

“Ah, shit!” Junmyeon moves away from Sehun much to Sehun’s dismay, and quickly walks towards his bedroom, muttering more curses under his breath.

“Is… Everything okay?” Sehun asks hesitantly when Junmyeon comes out of his bedroom wearing a turtleneck.

“It’s my mother” Junmyeon sends his way, as if that’s an explanation enough. He’s in the kitchen again, grabbing the ashtray from the table and hiding it in a cupboard. “I bribed the security guards to tell me when she’s here, because she insists on having the code to my door.”

Sehun blinks a few times. Did that mean that Junmyeon’s mother was coming right now?

“Should I-“ Sehun doesn’t even get to finish his question as they both turn around to look at the door, hearing the pin pad. Sehun freezes in as Junmyeon immediately comes up to the entrance.

The door opens and a short woman walks in, hair and clothes the neatest Sehun has ever seen on a person.

“Hello mother” Junmyeon’s bearing a polite smile, bowing lightly “I didn’t expect you, I have someone over right now, so maybe…” he motions in Sehun’s direction.

The woman spares him a glace and it’s jarring how much Junmyeon looks like her. Except Junmyeon’s features are soft and welcoming, while hers seem almost harsh.

“Hello” Sehun quickly does a polite bow and Junmyeon’s mother only nods back, before looking at Junmyeon again.

“This won’t take long” even her tone of voice seems neat, perfectly pronounced syllables without any sort of wavering in tone. “Your brother told me that you are not returning his calls.”

Junmyeon looks over at Sehun again, hesitantly, as if wondering how much he can talk

in front of him, and Sehun wishes he could disappear. The only route of escape is through the two standing in the hallway though, so instead he just sits by the table, pretending that the empty mug is the most interesting thing he can be looking at right now.

“Yes, I was busy.”

Junmyeon responds and Sehun realises he didn’t even know Junmyeon has a brother. “I’ll call him back if that’s all-”

“He has a very important work dinner next weekend.” The woman continues, and Junmyeon immediately goes quiet as soon as she speaks.

“We expect you to show up this time. We can’t keep on making excuses for you.”

“Of course” Junmyeon nods slowly “but you don’t need to make exc-”

“Put yourself in our shoes for once, Junmyeon” she interrupts him again, and at this point Sehun’s blood starts to boil.

“How do you think we would look like if all of the people who respect us knew you failed your law degree?” She takes another step towards Junmyeon, with a cold look in her eyes. “It would be us having to face all the shame."

"It’s hard enough having to listen to all the people who knew you as a teen, saying how smart and ambitious you were. It is my responsibility to keep them thinking that’s still the case, so for once, don’t be selfish.”

Junmyeon nods, quietly, and Sehun can’t stand it anymore.

“Your son is the least selfish person I know” He stands up and both, Junmyeon and his mother look over. “He’s the complete opposite. I-”

“Sehun” Junmyeon sends him a look. His eyes are soft, fond, but determined at the same time. “Don’t” He just says, and Sehun closes his mouth.

However the woman’s attention is now on him. She measures him in what Sehun can only describe as a judgemental manner, before turning back to her son.

“Who is this?” she asks, as if she couldn’t ask Sehun himself.

Maybe it’s the way he’s dressed, pastel colours, hair bleached blond, that makes her think he’s not ever worth her attention.

“I tutor him in my free time, He’s a few years below me in the same course.”

The woman takes a deep breath.

trigger warning

signs of emotional parental abuse

“When you said you’re busy, I thought you meant studying for your degree, not doing charity work.” Even though her cold stare isn’t directed at him, Sehun can still feel chills run down his spine. “Are you just determined to fail everything that you start?"

"How many more times will you have to try and complete a degree if you’re never fully committing to anything?”

Sehun clenches his fists but stays quiet.

“I know you’re disappointed mother.” Junmyeon’s voice is flat, even the fake smile slowly faltering.

“Disappointed?” She sounds almost amused. “No Junmyeon, to be disappointed I’d have to believe that you can achieve anything in the first place. And you lost the privilege of my respect years ago.” she turns around back to the door. “Just show up to your brother’s dinner.”

The door shuts behind her and both of the men stay quiet for a moment. Without a word Junmyeon retreats back to the bedroom, and Sehun quickly follows behind him.

“Why does she think she can speak to you like that?” Sehun starts after finally shaking off the shock.

This wasn’t anything he was used to, yes his parents said some questionable things sometimes but never anything like this. “I don’t know how you kept your cool, I would go off if my mother said shit like this”

Junmyeon takes off his turtleneck without a word, slowly folding it into a neat square. Only then Sehun notices that Junmyeon’s hands are shaking. He immediately comes up even closer.

“Hey, are you okay?” Sehun puts his hand on Junmyeon’s shoulder.

“Yeah” Junmyeon’s response is immediate, almost too fast, his smile so fake it hurts to look at. “Yeah, of course, she always says things like that. I’m used to it, you know, mothers.” he laughs, shallow and unmelodic. “It’s nothing, I’m just embarrassed you had to see this.”

“No, it’s…” Sehun wants to say okay, but it’s like Junmyeon’s in a trance, words falling out one after another.

“Anyways we should do something fun today instead of just sitting here like always! Maybe we could go see if there’s any skate rinks still around? Or… Oh!”

He turns to Sehun fully “Maybe we can do Ecstasy again? That was fun last time, wasn’t it? Let me call Baekhyun-”

“Hyung.” Sehun stops Junmyeon’s rant, squeezing his shoulder.

“Hmm?” Junmyeon looks up at him. And Sehun recognises this look, recognises this pattern from before.

The day they first did Ecstasy seemed to be triggered by something, too. Junmyeon running into his ex-boyfriend to be exact.

“You know..” Sehun isn’t sure how to approach this, he’s never been good with words, but.. “You can’t just do drugs to cope with things, hyung. It’s not-”

“I’m not coping with anything, Sehunnie” Junmyeon tries to put a nonchalant note in his voice, but it just comes out strained. “Drugs are just fun. Didn’t you think it was fun?” He’s looking up at Sehun again.

“Hyung, you’re clearly upset.” Sehun’s voice is quieter now.

“You don’t have to be ashamed of that, what your mother said, it’s normal to feel upset.”

“They’re just words, Sehun-ah. There’s nothing to be upset over” Junmyeon moves away from him now, putting his turtleneck down on the dresser, neatly, almost too neatly.

“They’re not ‘just words’ if they’re repeated over and over again, for years.” Sehun isn’t exactly an expert in psychology, but he at least knows that. “Especially not from someone who’s supposed to give you comfort, like your mother”

Junmyeon rests his hands on the dresser and closes his eyes. His breathing is irregular, and he’s visibly agitated, yet he refuses to acknowledge it.

“Hyung, you’re shaking…” Sehun whispers, watching Junmyeon with worry. “Do you want to sit down? I can make you some tea.”

trigger warning

panic attack, signs of mental health problems

“Don’t- don’t treat me like I’m about to break Sehun” not only Junmyeon’s whole body is trembling, but his voice is too. “This isn’t something to-” Junmyeon takes half a breath, then another “this isn’t something to react strongly over”

He chokes on his breath again, and Sehun finally recognises what this is.

“Hyung-”

“I’m not crazy!” Junmyeon raises his voice for the first time since Sehun has known him and it’s enough to make him freeze for a moment. “I’m not, I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t react like this!”

He’s taking shallow breaths in between his words “This- No, not again I-” he’s hyperventilating now, barely able to catch a breath after another.

“Hyung, hyung shhhh-” Sehun quickly comes over to stand in front of Junmyeon and hold his arms. “Hyung, look at me”

Sehun knows how to deal with a panic attack, he knows that much at least, having his fair share of his own at the beginning of university. When Junmyeon finally meets his eyes, still visibly panicking, Sehun starts breathing deeply. “Come on, breath with me.”

He takes a deep breath in, signalling for Junmyeon to do the same.

And at first Junmyeon has trouble, still shaken, still choking on some of his breaths, but soon Sehun has him follow his lead.

“Yeah, like that” Sehun breaths in, counting to three, then out counting to seven.

He repeats it, until he’s sure Junmyeon’s breathing is regulated. “Come on, let’s sit down.”

Junmyeon follows him to sit on the bed wordlessly, expression blank now. It’s a bit jarring, seeing him like this after seeing only the smiles, be it fake or real.

Junmyeon’s looks down at his hands, rubbing his wrist. Sehun looks at the tattoos again, at the English words ‘Sane’ and ‘Strong’. He reaches out, taking Junmyeon’s hands into his, and squeezing them lightly. It makes the man look up at him, uncertainty in his eyes.

“Please don’t think less of me.” Junmyeon sounds so small and Sehun’s heart squeezes. “This isn’t who I am. I’m supposed to be strong and sane, I left all this behind, I promised myself not to be like this anymore-“

“Hyung.” Sehun stops Junmyeon, seeing that the older is well

on the path to another panic attack. “Why would I ever think less of you?” his voice wavers a bit. He’s not good with words, but this- Junmyeon looks vulnerable, almost scared, as if the fact that he’s upset could somehow make Sehun care about him any less, think of him any less.

He turns both of Junmyeon’s arms, so that the tattoos are visible for them both

“Being strong doesn’t mean you have to hide your emotions. They don’t make you weak. And being sane doesn’t mean you can’t express what you feel. Reacting to upsetting things doesn’t make you crazy.”

Junmyeon looks up at him with wide, lost eyes.

“But I- Just now…”

Sehun brings Junmyeon in, close, hugging him tightly. Junmyeon freezes at first, but soon relaxes, hiding his face into Sehun’s chest.

“I don’t know who made you believe that your emotions make you weak and crazy hyung, but they were wrong.” Sehun closes his eyes, just holding Junmyeon close, trying to express everything that he doesn’t know how to say with his actions.

“You’re not weak hyung, you’re strong, and you’re selfless and caring, and so beautiful, inside and out.” He’s whispering now, almost ashamed of what he’s saying but knowing he has to say it. Junmyeon needs to know it.

Junmyeon trembles in his hold, and it takes Sehun hearing a small sniffle to realise Junmyeon is crying.

“Hyung…” He holds him closer and a small sob escapes Junmyeon’s lips.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry…”

Sehun moves away slightly, but only to hold Junmyeon’s face.

He leans down, kissing off the tears of both Junmyeon’s cheeks, before swiping the remaining moisture with his thumbs.

“You can cry hyung” He hugs him close again. “It’s okay. I won’t think any less of you.”

And Junmyeon does.

He lets another sob leave his mouth, circling his arms around Sehun’s torso, hiding his face in Sehun’s top. And Sehun thinks he really must’ve been keeping all of it in for a long time, because as soon as he starts he doesn’t seem to stop.

Sehun holds him close through it, running his hands through Junmyeon’s hair while he lets it out. At some point he moves them both to lie down, where Junmyeon hides again, saying quiet sorry’s now and then. Every time Sehun shushes him, telling him it’s okay, that this is okay.

Sehun isn’t sure how much time passes after that. Junmyeon seems to stop crying at some point but his face is still hidden in Sehun’s neck. Laboured breathing turns to slow and stable, and Sehun concludes Junmyeon must’ve fell asleep.

Trying to be as gentle as possible, he moves them both so that they lie more comfortably on the bed, soon following Junmyeon to sleep.

When he wakes up, it’s dark outside, probably the middle of the night, judging by how quiet it seems.

Junmyeon is awake, looking at him, uncertainly, opening his mouth to speak as soon as he sees Sehun is up.

“I’m sor-” he starts, but Sehun doesn’t let him finish, connecting his mouth with Junmyeon’s in a short but certain kiss, lingering for a brief moment before moving back.

“Don’t apologise.” He says while Junmyeon’s wide open eyes stare at him “Or else every time you say ‘sorry’ I will kiss you”

Junmyeon’s expression turns from surprised to smug, as he smiles, moving closer to Sehun.

“Sorry sorry sorry sorry s-”

Sehun chuckles, kissing Junmyeon again and again, until the both of them are giggling into each other’s mouths. He brings Junmyeon even closer, wrapping his arms around his frame.

“No, but… Seriously.” Sehun speaks after they lie their heads back down on the pillows.

“You really don’t have to say I’m sorry for crying. You looked like you needed it.”

“Yeah” Junmyeon sighs, running his hand through his hair, and moving so that he’s lying on his back. “I forgot what it felt like” there’s another laugh behind it, but this one is more breathless.

“Has it been long?” now Sehun is the one to shift, lying his head on Junmyeon’s arm.

“Yes, it’s been a while” Junmyeon looks at the ceiling for a few moments, as if searching for his next words there. Sehun glances up, too. Nothing but white paint and a few bumps here and there.

Still, they both look at it.

“My mother didn’t really like it when I cried. Or showed any negative emotions, really.” Junmyeon starts after a while and Sehun turns to face him again. Junmyeon’s gaze is still on the ceiling as he continues.

“As a kid, she’d ignore me no matter how hard I cried or get mad at me when I was sad. I never really understood why. But I guess after years and years of suppressing, things like that are bound to come out.” He sighs.

“It must’ve been hard.” Sehun whispers.

“I can’t imagine growing up in an environment like that…”

“I don’t know, I try not to think about it too much.” Junmyeon admits “It’s not like she’s ever beat me or anything… It was just… words.”

“Words can hurt you just as much hyung.”

Sehun runs his hand through Junmyeon’s hair just like he did when the older man was crying. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t want to bore you with the details…”

“You could never bore me.” Sehun says truthfully. “If you want to talk about it, talk. I’m here to listen.”

It takes Junmyeon a few minutes of silence before he starts talking.

He tells Sehun about his childhood first, words spoken carefully, pauses in between each sentence as if he’s not sure if he should be saying it. And Sehun listens, petting Junmyeon’s hair throughout it to

show that he’s paying attention, even if he’s not saying much. He doesn’t really know what to say, but Junmyeon doesn’t seem to mind his silence, continuing.

He talks about the things his mother said to him, about the things she did to him, or said to other people about him.

He seems detached while saying all of it, almost casual about it, which Sehun expects is just some kind of coping mechanism. As if a mother telling calling her own child terrible names, and closing him in the wardrobe if he misbehaved isn’t horrific.

“I kind of liked the wardrobe though.” Junmyeon says after he mentions that specific instant. “At least she wouldn’t be there to shout at me. And the small space was kind of comforting.”

He continues, talking about his teenage years, how nothing he ever did seemed to be enough.

He proudly talks about his little acts of rebellion, the tattoos, and then even making out with guys. He talks about how the only way he could rebel was if she didn’t know about it, and that that was enough for him.

He still takes breaks between telling each thing,

hugging Sehun closer sometimes, as some stories seem to make his voice tremble just a little.

And Sehun listens to every word, wondering how someone so horrible as Junmyeon’s mother could bring up someone so wonderful as Junmyeon. Someone so nonjudgmental, selfless and caring.

“What time is it?” Junmyeon asks after a while, glancing at the window over Sehun’s head. It’s brighter now, although it’s not exactly daylight yet. Sehun blindly reaches for his phone that’s on the nightstand behind him.

“Half past six.”

“Ah…” Junmyeon sighs

“Sorry for talking for so long.” he mumbles, looking up at Sehun from half lidded eyes.

“Hey” Sehun leans in and lands a quick kiss on Junmyeon’s mouth. “What did I say about saying sorry?”

“Hmm… Maybe I did it or purpose?” Junmyeon grins and then moves to sit up.

“Still, I bet watching me have a breakdown and then sleep for the rest of the day is not exactly the best way to spend valentine’s day…”

Sehun blinks, surprised.

“To be honest I didn’t even notice it was valentine’s day.” He replies truthfully.

“I don’t really mind. It’s not like I had plans…” he adds quietly. Why would he have plans with anyone else, when Junmyeon was right here? They never really talked about other people, never really mentioned if this arrangement of theirs includes being able to sleep with others.

And Sehun doesn’t see why it wouldn’t. It’s just that, in the end, an arrangement of two people sleeping with each other. Maybe Junmyeon sleeps with other people. Maybe he himself had valentine's plans with some lucky bastard.

Sehun’s heart squeezes in his chest.

He has no right to feel jealous, he knows that. Still…

Junmyeon watches him for some time, before standing up completely.

“Right, up we go!” he gestures for Sehun to stand up too. Sehun frowns, confused by the request, but still stands up. “Put on your coat.”

“What?” Sehun looks out the window again, to make sure that it was the time he saw on the clock. It was definitely early in the morning… “Are we going somewhere?”

“We could pretend, that until the sun rises it’s still valentine’s day.”

Junmyeon comes up to one of the drawers in his cupboards and takes out two large blankets. “So we’re going to the roof to watch it rise.”

Sehun lets out a confused but amused huff, following Junmyeon to the hallway, putting his shoes and jacket on, just like the man next to him.

“It’s fine, it’s just valentine’s day” Sehun comments, but still goes up the stairs with Junmyeon, not being able to take the big smile off of his face.

“Shush. We’re going this. I am not letting this day end on me complaining about my mother.”

Junmyeon opens the door to the roof and Sehun is hit with a cold breeze of air, making him shiver even with his coat on. He watches Junmyeon put a blanket on the floor of the roof and then plop down on it. Shaking his head but still smiling, Sehun sits down next to him.

“It’s so cold out here.” As soon as he says it, there’s another blanket over his shoulders, big enough to cover both him and Junmyeon if they huddle closer together.

“Better?” there’s a mist coming out of Junmyeon’s mouth, disappearing into the cold Seoul air.

He looks… Different. Sehun isn’t sure what it is, but there’s something about him that takes his breath away for a second. Maybe it’s the new vulnerability that he found himself experiencing. Or maybe it’s nothing, and Sehun is just a lovesick fool.

“Yeah.” He cuddles closer to Junmyeon, soaking in the warmth his body emits and covering himself tighter with the blanket. He looks around. They’re lucky that there doesn’t seem to be many clouds covering the horizon, easy to see when the sun is going to rise.

It’s already getting brighter and brighter, the light uncovering the unusually quiet city. Sehun doesn’t think he has ever seen Soul so calm.

“What’s your favourite colour?” Junmyeon asks suddenly, taking Sehun off guard.

“What?” he’s not quite sure why Junmyeon is asking him.

“Colour. Which one is your favourite?” Junmyeon insists, so Sehun answers despite his confusion.

“It’s green.”

Junmyeon hums, nodding his head.

“Why?” he follows up just after, and Sehun can’t help but let out a baffled laugh.

“Why is it my favourite colour?”

at Junmyeon’s nod he thinks for a second. “I never really thought about it. I just like it.” He shrugs. “What about you?”

“I like yellow the most.” Junmyeon brings up his hands to his face, huffing at them, before rubbing them together, probably in an attempt to warm them up.

Sehun stares, his own hands itching to do something.

“Why yellow?” he puts his hands in between his legs, in an attempt to stop himself from doing anything.

“You could say it’s thanks to Van Gogh.” His voice is calmer now, softer.

He’s looking in the distance, but there’s some cheerfulness in his expression. “I’ve read somewhere that he used to eat yellow paint, because he believed it will make him happy. Because yellow is a happy colour.” He turns back to Sehun.

“It turned out to be just a misconception, but by the time I found it already became my favourite.”

“So, you trained your brain to make yellow your favourite colour?”

Junmyeon starts laughing at that, more mist appearing in the air from his breath.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

The corners of Junmyeon’s eyes are raised with the smile. It’s still so quiet that Sehun can hear the beating of his own heart, loud in his ears, almost as loud as the birds softly singing all around them.

“What’s your favourite animal?” Junmyeon doesn’t seem to be aware of what

he’s doing to Sehun’s heart though, as he continues.

“What’s with the questions hyung?”

“I just want to get to know you more.” Junmyeon’s face shows nothing but sincerity, and Sehun has to look away, thankful that the blush on his face can be excused as the effect of the cold.

“I-it’s bunnies” he answers without thinking, and the almost groans out loud. Way to be subtle.

“Well, good thing there’s one right here!” Junmyeon excitedly points at himself and Sehun bursts out into giggles.

“Lucky me. A whole five-foot-six bunny.”

“Hey!” Junmyeon slaps him lightly on the arm, but there isn’t any malice on his face. “I’m five-foot-eight!”

“Keep dreaming, bunny”

Junmyeon pretends to be offended for the next couple of minutes, but he can’t keep a straight face throughout it so Sehun knows he’s only teasing.

“When is your birthday?” the next question comes when they’re both staring at the horizon. The sky is even brighter now, the sun probably due to come out any minute.

“It’s the 12th of April.” Sehun can see more cars on the road now, but still not many.

“In two months… Okay, I’ll keep that in mind” Junmyeon leans closer, resting his head on Sehun’s shoulder. “Mine is 22nd of May.” Sehun is just about to say something to that, but then Junmyeon adds. “Two days before I leave.”

It’s as if a bag of bricks is dropped straight down on Sehun. His breath stops.

That’s right. Junmyeon is leaving, he’s leaving and now Sehun has a specific date. Two days after Junmyeon’s birthday, the 24th of May. Sehun almost wants to laugh at the irony, except the tightness

in his stomach doesn’t let him. It’s even more real now, that Sehun knows exactly when it’s going to happen.

Fate is a real bitch, it seems.

“Look! It’s rising” not aware of Sehun’s internal freak-out, Junmyeon prompts Sehun to stand up with him, holding tight onto the blanket.

As if in trance, Sehun follows him to the edge.

The sun is peaking from the horizon as Sehun watches Junmyeon.

Junmyeon’s eyes are fixed on the sun, a soft smile brightening his features, even more than the whole city is being lit up in this moment.

It’s the good smile, the one Sehun is probably going to miss the most.

“People usually like sunsets more, but I think there’s something amazing about the sunrise.” Junmyeon rests his elbows on the railing, still looking forward.

“It’s the time of day Seoul is at it’s most quiet. It’s beautiful.” He fidgets with his fingers, as Sehun leans down, next to him. “Sehun, I… Thank you.” Junmyeon reaches for his hand and squeezes it. “Thank you for tonight. For staying with me, for… Everything.”

“It’s the least I could do.” Sehun squeezes Junmyeon’s hand back, as the older man looks up at him. “I’m sorry for not saying much, I’m not really good with my words-” he’s interrupted by Junmyeon leaning in and kissing him, softly, free hand on Sehun’s cheek.

“No apologising.” He mutters against Sehun’s lips. “Or else I’m going to kiss you for every sorry” there’s a tilt of a smile on his face as he’s using the same words Sehun used earlier. “And just having you listen and be there for me was more than enough. Thank You, really.”

They stay on the roof until the sun is fully out, both quiet for the whole time. Still, it’s not awkward, it’s never awkward with Junmyeon.

“Is it okay if I order you an Uber?” Junmyeon asks when they’re back at the apartment.

“I’m not trying to kick you out but I feel like I need some time to myself after everything that happened”

“Of course.” Sehun answers immediately. He gets it, he really does. Some things are better processed without any people around. “If you need anything though, just call me.”

They stay in the kitchen until Sehun’s Uber arrives, Junmyeon leaning on Sehun’s side for the whole time. And to Sehun’s surprise, before he leaves, Junmyeon pulls him close and kisses him right at the doorstep.

“Have a safe ride home.”

Sehun nods.