1/ "The Department of Justice estimates that on average, there is 1 child molester per square mile in the United States"

~Gavin de Becker, in his forward to ~Anna Salter's "Predators"
2/ "the average child molester victimises between 50 and 150 children before he is ever arrested (and many more after he is arrested)"

~Gavin de Becker, in his forward to ~Anna Salter's "Predators"
3/ "What we learn from Anna Salter is that the sexual offender is also in denial, that he is a criminal who chooses to stay on the road he is on even when it's clear where it will carry him."

~Gavin de Becker, in his forward to ~Anna Salter's "Predators"
4/ "Many sexual offenders feel entitled to every predatory prize they can win, and simply do not care about the cost to others. They are, in short, cruel."

~Gavin de Becker, in his forward to ~Anna Salter's "Predators"
5/ "One of the starkest realities is that sexual predators are stunningly effective at gaining control over their victims."

~Gavin de Becker, in his forward to ~Anna Salter's "Predators"
6/ "The far more common offender is a persuasion-predator. This type of criminal looks for a vulnerable victim, someone who will allow him to be in control... He is a coward ..."

~Gavin de Becker, in his forward to ~Anna Salter's "Predators"
7/ "Misplaced trust is the predator's most powerful resource, and we can decide whether or not to give it to him."

~Gavin de Becker, in his forward to ~Anna Salter's "Predators"
8/ "Misplaced trust can have terrible consequences. ... The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that fully 15% of rape victims are younger than 12."

~Gavin de Becker, in his forward to ~Anna Salter's "Predators"
9/ "The people we willing suspect are inherently less dangerous than those we refuse to suspect."

~Gavin de Becker, in his forward to ~Anna Salter's "Predators"
10/ "It is a feature of our species that some of the adult males molest children. Expecting those particular males to look glaringly different from all others has proven to be an ineffective strategy for preventing sexual abuse. Popular, but ineffective"

~Gavin de Becker
11/ "Without doing something about the perpetrator, I felt therapy for victims was only a stopgap measure"

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
12/ "This book is a more a personal account of what I've learned from sitting in rooms with predators."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
13/ "It is, first of all, a book about secrecy and deception because secrecy is the lifeblood of sexual aggression. It is a book about why & how sex offenders get away with their crimes for decades, sometimes forever."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
14/ "It will touch on why we are so trusting, which we are as long as the offender isn't poor and toothless and/or of a different ethnic group, as long as he looks like us and talks like us..."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"

@WillowCreekCC @WillowChicago @WillowCreekCL take note.
15/ "The truth is that many sex offenders like to talk about their exploits--if it can be done in a way that doesn't hurt them in court. They are proud of what clever fellows they are. Narcissism is their Achilles' heel."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"

See
16/ "It is precisely our lack of knowledge & understanding that gives predators their edge, and there's nothing wrong with trying to level the playing field a little."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
17/ "A. A violent order is disorder; and
B. A great disorder is an order, These
Two things are one"

~Anna Salter, quoting Wallace Stevens, in "Predators"

Here's the entire poem:
18/ "This man has taken 31 years of my life away from me. ... The only way I'll ever get rid of him & what he's done to me is die."

~Anna Salter, quoting actual expert "Laura" (not her real name), in "Predators"
19/ "... odd studies that show that psychopaths don't respond the same way to emotional words as other people. For most of us, emotional words are recognised faster than neutral words. For psychopaths, they are recognised more slowly."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
20/ "When an offender is caught & has a thorough evaluation with a polygraph backup, he will reveal dozens, sometimes hundreds, of offenses for which he was never apprehended."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
21/ "In all the interviews I have done, I cannot remember one offender who did not admit privately to more victims than those for whom he had been caught"

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
22/ "This man is hard on himself for not revealing the abuse. He feels now it would have protected other children, & of course he assumes it would have protected him from further abuse. I wish I believed either of those were true."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
23/ "The problem is deception. Despite the fact that decades of research reveal that people cannot reliably tell who's lying and who isn't, most people believe they can."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
24/ "Mr. Jones was a well respected member of the community ... he was so sincere. Clearly the child loved him dearly. Besides, look at all the character references he had. Such a man is hardly likely to be a ... molester, now is he?"

~Anna Salter, "Predators"

note, @bobgoff
25/ "Even treatment centers that specialise in treating sex offenders can be astonishingly naive."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
26/ "Despite the psychopath’s lack of conscience and lack of empathy for others, he is inevitably better at fooling people than any other type of offender. I suppose a conscience just slows people down. A convicted child molester, this particular one made friends with a ...
27/ "correctional officer who invited him to live in his home after he was released— invited him despite the fact the officer had a nine-year-old daughter."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
28/ "If children can be silenced & the average person is easy to fool, many offenders report that religious people are even easier to fool than most people. One molester, who was himself a minister, said: 'I considered church people easy to fool… they have a trust that comes ...
29/ "'from being Christians.… They tend to be better folks all around. And they seem to want to believe in the good that exists in all people.… I think they want to believe in people. And because of that, you can easily convince, with or without convincing words.'"

~A. Salter
30/ "What makes fooling us so easy is not the worst in us, it is often the best. As one rapist said, 'Because people want to believe in something. They want to hope. & they want to believe. They want to, there’s something inside of people that makes them want to believe the ...
31/ "'best in things and the best in others. Because the alternative is not very nice.' True enough. The alternative is not very nice."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
32/ "There are specific techniques sex offenders & other predators use to fool people. First and most important is setting up a double life. Many offenders will deliberately establish themselves as the kind of person who wouldn’t do that kind of thing."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
33/ "'I was told on twice before being incarcerated. They were not believed the first two times. I had many people: counselors, church leaders, leaders of the community, to come up & stand in my defense, several times on those occasions, & it was simply just disbelief.'"

~A. S.
34/ "But it is not just sadists who practice a double life: A double life is prevalent among all types of sex offenders. There are exceptions: offenders living in subcultures so violent or disempowered that they do not have 2 pretend 2 be less violent than they are."

~A. Salter
35/ "'Niceness is a decision,' Gavin De Becker wrote in The Gift of Fear. It is 'a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait.' There are days I want to tattoo this on my forehead. De Becker is right, but who believes him?"

~Anna Salter, "Predators
36/ Anna Salter's "Predators" is doing my head in, but it ought to be required once-a-year reading for all religious leaders, especially those @WillowCreekCL @willowcreekNS @willowcasadeluz @WillowHuntley @willowsouthlake @WillowChicago @WillowWheaton @WillowCreekCC
37/ I'm skipping chapter 4 of Anna Salter's Book, "Predators", which is entitled "Child Molestors", and jumping ahead to chapter 5, "Rapists".
38/ "The statistics for rape tell a very odd story. Women are least safe at home & least safe with friends, acquaintances, & family. Statistically speaking, women are better off with strangers and being anywhere but our homes, at least as long as we stay away from streets ...
39/ "and parking garages. The best thing we can do to protect ourselves is to grow older."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"

Apparently I haven't run out of weeping for today =( Maybe I should just stop and go watch some science fiction or something =(
40/ "According to Bureau of Justice statistics, approximately half the victims of rape or attempted rape are attacked by a friend or acquaintance, & overall 62% are assaulted by someone they know, adding together friends, acquaintances, intimates, & family members."

~Anna Salter
41/ "Only about 1/3 are victimized [raped] by a stranger. Youth provides no immunity: The highest risk age group is 16 to 19. More than half of sexual assaults take place in someone’s home, either the victim’s or a friend’s, relative’s, or neighbor’s."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
42/ "Only approximately 5% of all rapists ever spend a day in jail, & fewer still spend any significant time there. For example, in 1991 there were approximately 700,000 rapes of adult women in this country [USA] as reported in general population studies that ask women about ...
43/ "their experiences of sexual assault. Rapes of adults are actually only about a third of the rapes that occur in this country each year. In the same year, the National Women’s Study reported 1.4 million rapes of children (when rape is defined as penetration)."

~Anna Salter
44/ "Of those, the number of offenders who were actually charged, tried, & convicted & who then spent at least one year in prison was 7,500 or less than 1/2 of 1% of the actual number of cases that had been reported to researchers. Sexual crime does indeed pay."

~Anna Salter
45/ "They [rapists] all share thinking patterns the rest of us consider distorted; they share too a willingness to use brutality to meet their goals."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
46/ "Distorted Thinking: If u hear no regret from the men above, it’s because they have none. Not because they necessarily r psychopaths, people without a conscience ... there are different ways to commit crimes & not regret them & being a psychopath is only one of them."

~A.S.
47/ "It is also possible to avoid regret by simply rationalizing the crime. Human beings have an extraordinary ability to rationalize any sort of extreme behavior. Mr. Carlyle ... justifies rape by claiming it is not as bad as what some other men do to women."

~Anna Salter
48/ "The excuses offenders use to themselves and to others are not always literally true."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
49/ "Of course, the psychopathic rapist has little need for such elaborate justifications. Mr. Hodges, who thinks very much like a psychopath, has an answer to how he justified the rape. The answer is simply that he wanted to do it."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
50/ Readers should be aware that I'm reading Anna Salter's "Predators" and tweeting quotes towards better understanding Bill Hybels and @RaviZacharias and @jamesmacdonald and their ilk.
51/ "The cornerstones of rape are distorted thinking and rape fantasies. These fantasies play an enormous role in the development of compulsive rapists. This does not mean that every man who has a rape fantasy will someday turn into a rapist. The rape fantasies that rapists ...
52/ "have are distinguished from the occasional rape fantasies of nonoffending men by their prevalence, their obsessiveness, and their importance to the rapist."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
53/ Following her own advice, I'm skipping chapter 6 of Anna Salter's "Predator"--the chapter entitled "Sadists". Jumping ahead to Chapter 7: "Psychopaths--Fooling People for the Thrill of it".
54/ "While sex offenders—even violent predators—have a fear of getting caught and use deception pragmatically as a way of maintaining their freedom, psychopaths—offenders without a conscience—fool people for the thrill of it. Deception is not just a byproduct of
55/ "deviant activities for the psychopath; often it is the main event."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
56/ "Psychopaths are predators but not necessarily sexual predators. They do whatever interests them ... In the course of working with six different companies, a business consultant named Paul Babiak discovered each had a problematic employee at the heart of their ...
57/ "difficulties. In each case, the person scored high on psychopathy. The damage these individuals did to the company and to other employees was considerable. ... Astonishingly, none were fired, despite the fact that in some cases they were losing massive amounts of money ...
58/ "for the corporation, and in all cases, they were trailing a wake of complaints from other employees. failures or complaints was due to their behavior; someone else always took the blame."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
59/ "In all of their dealings, they manifested the same lack of a conscience and lack of concern for others as did their counterparts serving hard time."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
60/ "However, this kind of psychopath is not typically violent. Given that this book is concerned with violence & sexual assault, I will confine my comments to the type of psychopath who often does end up in jail. Still, it is important to remember that not having a criminal ...
61/ "record does not guarantee that someone is not a psychopath. Many are not caught, and some lie, cheat, and deceive without getting on the wrong side of the law."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
62/ "Psychopaths routinely start their criminal careers at a younger age than other offenders, on average beginning before the age of 12. They commit more crimes at every age than other inmates, and if they specialize in anything, it is in violent crime per se."

~Anna Salter
63/ "... what distinguishes psychopaths from other offenders is not just their level of violence and their propensity for crime; it is that they have personality traits that allow them to manipulate people pretty much with impunity."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
64/ "Key characteristics of psychopathy are glibness, superficial charm, and an extraordinary ability to con and to manipulate. But it is somehow more than that. Really good psychopaths are genuinely likable."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
65/ "Babiak confirmed that coworkers of the psychopaths in business who were dumped & abandoned by the psychopaths were not only angry and betrayed, they were depressed partly because they missed the psychopath and the excitement he or she had brought into their lives."

~A.S.
66/ Wow tweet #65 immediately above from Anna Salter's "Predators" sounds SO much like what's happened and is happening @WillowCreekCC @WillowChicago @WillowHuntley @WillowCreekCL @willowcreekNS @willowsouthlake @WillowWheaton @willowcasadeluz @HarvestBible1
67/ "One likely reason psychopaths can thrive in business & elsewhere is that their lying & manipulation is just so difficult to detect. Normal people feel some degree of guilt and nervousness when lying"

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
68/ "Psychopaths are misread over and over because the average person expects those who betray us to have the decency to feel bad about it."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
69/ "It is a sad and dangerous expectation. Instead of feeling remorse over deceiving others, psychopaths feel what is termed “duping delight,” a kind of joy and almost childlike delight in duping other people."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
70/ "It is important to understand fully that such offenders do not have a conscience as you and I know it. Acts that would bother others—and even haunt nonpsychopathic child molesters or rapists—give no pause, cause no regret."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
71/ "We do not want to believe such callousness exists, but it does & always has. A sign of a robust syndrome is when it is found in vastly different time periods & cultures. Schizophrenia, major depression, & psychopathy—all can be recognized across 100s, even 1000s of years."
72/ A brief question for @psydcary1, @BozT, @LoriAnneThomps2, @revkyleathens, @byJimHenderson, @russshaw, @wad3mullen, @jdahlmd and others--who in the Bible is a psychopath?

Tweeting quotes from Anna Salter's "Predators"
73/ "Long before he [Alcibiades] betrayed Athens, he had a track record of abusive and violent behavior, which everyone around him ignored."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
74/ "It was astonishing how much he got away with. The historian Durant wrote that he 'violated a hundred laws and injured a hundred men, but no one dared bring him before a court.' The reason seems to be more his capacity to charm than fear of his violence. Plutarch notes
75/ "that the Athenians tended to 'patiently endure his excesses… to give the softest names to his faults, attributing them to youth and good nature.'”

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
76/ "But mostly it was simply his charm. Plutarch tells us that, 'even those who feared and envied him could not but take delight, and have a sort of kindness for him, when they saw him and were in his company.'"

~Anna Salter, "Predators"

#hauntinglyfamiliar
77/ "It is this gift for camouflage, this chameleon-like ability to take on whatever form would best suit his purposes, that defines the classic psychopath. Without that, he would be merely a scoundrel."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
78/ "Eventually, Alcibiades made his way back to Athens where, incredibly, the people forgave his betrayals, welcomed him with open arms, and made him general once again."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"

Echoes of @jamesmacdonald, @PastorMark, Bill Hybels, & Tullian Tchividjian
79/ "I know all too well the research that finds that no treatment program has ever been successful with psychopaths. I just didn’t know how early or how long people had been trying."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
80/ "Lord, protect us from the deceivers, for we cannot seem to protect ourselves."

~Anna Salter, "Predators", end of chapter 7, "Psychopaths"
81/ Beginning of Chapter 8, "Staff Seductions"

"it is instructive to examine just how easy it is for offenders currently in prison to manipulate & seduce those with whom they come in contact. Every single staff member or volunteer who interacts with them knows they have done ...
82/ "something possibly violent and always sufficiently illegal to warrant incarceration. And yet, staff and volunteers are compromised every day in prisons."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
83/ "Not every staff member or volunteer can be seduced, but given enough time and opportunity, the techniques offenders use will work on somebody. Inmates get proficient, after a while, at predicting who will make a good target and who won’t. ...
84/ "They particularly like to target religious staff because they feel religious people are more trusting than others."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
85/ "It is a fascinating response, most of all because I never asked him about control, only about caring. But he cannot answer a question about caring because he is psychopathic and does not know what it is. It is control he understands, and to him, that’s what relationships ...
86/ "are all about—who controls whom. He slips into a discussion of control within a single sentence of his response to a question about caring."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
87/ "Such inmates are confident, even grandiose about their chances of seducing staff. It is this confidence, I know, that has them talking to me. They feel they can outwit anyone: 'They’re going to hang themselves. They think they know what they’re doing. We’ve been ...
88/ "'playing this game a lot longer than they have. We have years and years of experience, and they don’t ... You get good at it after a while if you do it all the time.'"

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
89/ "There is, indeed, a process that inmates go through when they seduce staff, one that eventually becomes automatic. The process is strikingly similar whether the inmate is in prison in Vermont or in California. It begins with obtaining information."

~A. Salter, "Predators"
90/ I'm going to summarise a bit, here. The process Anna Salter Outlines for offenders seducing staff has these headings, in "Predators"

*Obtaining Information
*Selecting a Target
*Tactics of Seduction: The Role of Reciprocity
*The Demand and the Lever
91/ *Obtaining Information: "The process of gathering information starts the first day that new staff arrive. ... Getting information, at least about some staff, does not seem to be that hard. Many offenders simply ask outright:"
92/ "From the moment any staff member walks into a prison, she or he is under scrutiny. The scrutiny is intense, professional, and organized. Inmates who decide a staff member is a possibility for seduction or compromise will pay other inmates to gather information for them. ...
93/ "That information is rarely hard to come by. “You’d be amazed,” one inmate tells me. “The inmate grapevine is huge.”

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
94/ *Selecting a Target: "The purpose of all of this information-gathering and behavioral analysis is just 2 select staff for further 'grooming'-conning & manipulation. Few inmates r so narcissistic as to think they can manipulate everyone. More often the attitude is realistic."
95/ "Vulnerability, however, is a broad concept, and once again, it is extremes that inmates are looking for. Divorce, financial problems, even the depressing impact of aging on women are all considered fair game. Almost any vulnerability will do."

~A. Salter, "Predators"
96/ I'm reminded of these words from @lauriegnyt's New York Times story, last year nytimes.com/2018/08/05/us/…:

"In 1984, Ms. Baranowski was walking to her car in the vast parking lot of Willow Creek one night after services. She had just been praying about whether to apply ...
97/ "for a job at the church she saw posted.

Suddenly a car screeched to a stop beside her, and the driver rolled down his window. It was the church’s pastor.

“Could I drive you to your car or something?” offered Mr. Hybels, who was then 33. Her car was nearby, but she ...
98/ "accepted the ride.

It seemed like a sign from God.

Mr. Hybels later also described the meeting as a miracle: He had been driving out of the parking lot when God urged him to go back and find the woman he drove by.

“That night I had no idea how offering help to a ...
99/ "person who probably didn’t need it would affect my life and ministry,” he wrote in one of his first books."

~@lauriegnyt in the New York Times, "He's a Superstar Pastor"
100/ Back to Anna Salter. *Tactics of Seduction: The Role of Reciprocity: "After all the information-gathering and the selection of the most appropriate target, staff seductions begin, not by asking something from a staff member, but by giving something to them. Inmates ...
101/ "intuitively recognize a social law called 'reciprocity.'"

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
102/ "What surprises me is that I did not know about this law and its power to affect behavior until I read the research on it, yet any staff predator in any prison knows it. Why does it take thirty years of research for the rest of us to understand phenomena that inmates ...
103/ "grasp intuitively? It seems clear who the real experts are."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
104/ "But more than favors, more than protection, it is simply flattery that the inmate hands out lavishly. 'You’re not like the rest,' they say. 'You’re the only one who can help.' Like other parts of the process, this too is a conscious strategy on the inmate’s part."

~A. S.
105/ *The Demand and the Lever "When the demand finally comes, it is after the information-gathering; after the selection of a specific target; after a campaign of giving praise, favors, even protection (or the illusion of it) to the staff member. It is after a campaign of ...
106/ "bonding that starts by zeroing in on the staff member’s interests, hobbies, even family problems. A personal relationship has been built, and the staff member has come to be in the offender’s debt. The request for something back, when it first comes, will be for ...
107/ "something so small as to seem insignificant, so tiny that refusing it would make the staff member feel petty."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
108/ "As the demands escalate, the staff member may balk, and if so, the lever will be brought out. That too may be something small initially, perhaps fruit from the “innocent” conversations the staff member has had with the inmate."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
109/ Here begins Chapte 9: "Rose-Coloured Glasses and Trauma"

"The most optimistic viewpoints on the world can be shown to make us healthier and happier, but also can—unchecked—make us vulnerable to predators as well. But how and where and when to scan those around us for ...
110/ "predators as opposed to looking for the good in everyone are not easy questions to answer."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
111/ "People want to make the world have meaning, but the randomness of trauma defies meaning. Malevolence defeats it."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
112/ "What the success of 'When Bad Things Happen' and countless other books on the same topic demonstrates is that the meaning that seems most comforting to people has a distinct rose-colored look to it. I would argue—and the research would concur—that almost everyone ...
113/ "lives with illusions that make the world less frightening."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
114/ "These illusions have their pros and cons. Once I was hiking in the Sierras and came across a giant sign at the entrance to a trail. The sign said, “The Mountains Don’t Care.” The rangers, it seemed, had had enough of hikers who ventured up to commune with Mother Nature ...
115/ "without ice axes, warm coats, or water. Lost in the glory of the mountains, they would trust the Great Spirit to take care of them. But the Sierras obey their own gods, ones that have to do with wind and temperature and altitude."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
116/ "'Things as they are/Are changed upon the blue guitar,' Wallace Stevens wrote. And then he warned us, 'I cannot bring a world quite round,/Although I patch it as I can.'"

~Ann Salter, "Predators", quoting Wallace Stevens

The entire poem made me weep xroads.virginia.edu/~ma05/dulis/po…
117/ "A vast body of research confirms my suspicion that my friend’s rose-colored point of view is more common than my more cynical one. In fact, as early as 1978, there were more than one thousand articles on what are termed “positive illusions,” the tendency of people to ...
118/ "soften the world, ignoring and minimizing its bad aspects and overgeneralizing its good ones ..."

~Anna Salter, "Predators
119/ "In general, people hold positive illusions about themselves, about the amount of control they have over their fates, and about the benevolence of the world. I will look at each of these in turn. As will be seen, these positive illusions have an impact on our functioning ...
120/ " (mostly pro) and on our susceptibility to predators (mostly con). Finally, these illusions are themselves susceptible to the impact of trauma, which sometimes shatters them, leaving a bleak world in its wake."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
121/ Here's a safer version of Steven Wallace's poem "The Man With the Blue Guitar", as that other link I shared a few tweets ago was tricky. docs.google.com/document/d/13N…
122/ "Most people evaluate themselves positively. In fact, just about everybody seems to feel that he or she is above average on a wide variety of traits ... Unfortunately, this undue sense of competence and confidence also translates into a belief that we can detect ...
123/ "deception better than we actually can. In reality, people are pretty lousy at telling who’s lying, a finding supported through twenty years of research."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
124/ "Among the positive illusions we must monitor is our bias toward believing what people tell us. Over and over, research shows that the default option is to believe what we hear and what we read. And it doesn’t take much to even increase that bias further. Simple things ...
125/ "such as repeating a false assertion will increase the chances that people will believe it. "

~Anna Salter, "Predators"

Touches on why toxic organisations like @WillowCreekCC repeat their Image-Repairing assertions, as here:
126/ "There is an increasing amount of research to show that people immediately, automatically, and unconsciously assume statements are true, and only afterward do they evaluate them for possible falsehood."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"

Holy FSM you can see why Image Repair works
127/ "One of the main mechanisms predators use when approaching strangers is to talk a lot and to give unnecessary detail, often about topics unrelated to the exchange."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
128/ "But our confidence in our ability to detect lying is going to be hard to change ... It is part of an inflated self-image that ... turns out to be entirely normal. We think we are better at many things than we are, & most of the time, those beliefs serve us well. ...
129/ "Our belief in ourselves, our hopefulness, & our confidence in our abilities are normally strengths, ... they make us healthier physically and mentally. But it is not just our views of our own efficacy that are slanted in a positive way. ...
130/ "Our beliefs regarding how much control we have over our own fates and how benign the world is are biased as well. Both of those beliefs affect our ability to protect ourselves and affect our treatment of victims of trauma."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
131/ "We would all like to be masters of our fate, and often we pretend we are, even when we aren’t. People, at least in the Western hemisphere, tend to think they can control even chance events."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
132/ "Gamblers have been known to throw the dice softly for low numbers and hard for high numbers. Some require silence to throw so they can concentrate more."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
133/ "Unfortunately, this same belief in personal control means that people are often less than kind to victims of assault."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"

(pages of illustrations)
134/ "Maybe it becomes very important for a woman in that situation to believe that she can control her fate, that nothing like that could happen to her. But ...
135/ "buying a sense of safety in that way is a 2-edged sword: It may make us feel safer & more secure, but it adds to the distress of those already victimized. We retain our peace of mind by making victims pay for it."

~A. Salter, referencing #beliefinajustworld, in "Predators"
136/ "it is not just onlookers who blame victims for assault, it is often the victims themselves. It is disconcerting for clinicians to hear a woman say she should have known better than to cut across the arboretum at noon or to walk around a local pond at 3:00 in the afternoon."
137/ "Not surprisingly, a study found that the victims who were most psychologically distressed following rape were those who had been following their personal rules of safety at the time."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
138/ "The World Is a Pretty Nifty Place: Listen to New Age philosophy, and you will discover a remarkable thing: It consists almost entirely of beliefs that the world is controllable and benign."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
139/ "But how do I tell that 2 my clients who were raped & molested as children, those who have been the victims of domestic violence, & most of all, those who have had children abducted or murdered? Do I really tell them that they are simply vibrating at the wrong frequency ..."
140/ "What is billed as 'New Age' is really older than time. People have always wanted to feel safe in the world & 2 fend off the frightening reality that the death rate is 1 per person & that the timing of it appears to have nothing to do with goodness."

~A. Salter, "Predators
141/ "Answer these questions before you read further. What is the probability that you will be in a fire serious enough to cause injury or property damage in your lifetime? What are the chances you’ll be robbed or be in a car wreck serious enough to cause injury?"

~A. Salter
142/ "'That it’s rough out there & chancy is no surprise. Every live thing is a survivor on a kind of extended emergency bivouac,' Annie Dillard wrote in a sentence that startled me."

~Anna Salter, quoting Annie Dillard in "Predators"

Read the whole book full-english-books.net/english-books/…
143/ "Although we’d probably agree that ladybugs and night crawlers live in such uncertainty, or even people in the Middle Ages, it’s a surprise to most of us that we do too. We stay deliberately unaware of the odds on this slot machine we play."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
144/ "The need to view the world positively runs deep. It is found in our language and even in what material we find easy to learn and what we have trouble remembering."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
145/ "When we are confronted with bad news, it seems we try desperately 2 make sense of it, 2 put it in some framework that allows us 2 explain, even 2 rationalize it, while maintaining our overall positive worldview. Most of all, it seems, we want 2 believe the outcome is just."
146/ "'The Belief in a Just World: A Fundamental Delusion'. The research showed time & again that people blamed others 4 whatever outcome occurred, regardless of whether there was any logical relationship between the behavior & the outcome."

~A Salter, referencing Melvin Lerner
147/ "How does this apply to predators? It applies because over and over victims are blamed for their assaults. And when we imply that victims bring on their own fates—whether to make ourselves feel more efficacious or to make the world seem just—we keep ourselves from ...
148/ "taking the precautions we need to take in order to protect ourselves."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"

I previously knew the first part of this, but didn't realise the second part, which now seems obvious, so clearly. Thank you Anna!
149/ "We mute the realization of malevolence—which is too threatening to bear—by turning offenders into victims themselves and by describing their behavior as the result of forces beyond their control."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
150/ "Oddly then, in our search to find meaning, we often assign victims too much blame for their assaults and offenders too little. Our inconsistencies do not seem to trouble us, but they are truly puzzling."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
151/ "Our views make sense, however, if you think that we are trying to reassure ourselves that we are not helpless and, that, in any case, no one is out to get us."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
152/ "Positive illusions may cost us in some ways—in our treatment of victims, in our contact with predators—but there is also little doubt that these same illusions cause people to be happier and healthier and to function better. ...
153/ "This is important because it suggests the answer is not going to be simply to give them up (even if we could)."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
154/ "In short, those who held positive illusions about themselves scored better on standardized tests of mental health than their more negative peers."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
155/ "In short, it really does look like people who are optimistic, hold positive illusions about themselves, and “self-enhance,” are healthier physically and emotionally than those who don’t."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
156/ "If the world held no predators—or if they were far rarer than they are—this would be a done deal: Take any positive illusion you can find and run with it."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
157/ "Afterward, of course—if the victim survives—life looks different. The positive illusions that sustain us can shatter in the face of trauma. And what is left is a very different view of the world."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
158/ "It is easier to hold positive illusions if our lives are going reasonably well—by which I mean nothing dreadful is happening. Even serious stressors do not ordinarily shake our worldview, our sense of safety or our positive illusions."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
159/ "The world does not always seem just, and optimism is not always sustained. In fact, worldview can shift dramatically, and positive illusions shatter upon exposure to severe, personal trauma."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
160/ "My client had developed what I now call a trauma-based worldview. It was little known in the field of sexual abuse at the time, but I found pockets of research on it in the larger field of psychology, mostly under the term 'shattered assumptions.'"

~Anna Salter "Predators"
161/ "In fact, researchers had been documenting for well over a decade what trauma does to the positive illusions that cushion and sustain us. Severe trauma fosters a very different worldview, one in which the world is no longer meaningful, in which a benevolent deity does ...
162/ "not hover, in which individuals are helpless, and in which safety is a fragile and sometime thing. The world seems random at best, malevolent at worse. And children are as susceptible as adults."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
163/ "After the kidnapping many of the Chowchilla children were no longer friendly or open or trusting. Sunny children with gentle dispositions turned sullen, even rageful, & their sense of the world changed as much as their temperaments. It was no longer a safe & benign world."
164/ "Life after trauma is a different animal altogether ... not just different emotionally-different cognitively. ... Dr. Richard Famularo found those with chronic posttraumatic stress disorder, a frequent sequela of trauma, expected life to be short, difficult, and hard."

~A S
165/ "It is disorienting to go to bed one night only to look out the window the next morning to find a different landscape, one you don’t recognize. The bewilderment of the person who loses their sense of meaning in the world is profound"

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
166/ "We take the meaningfulness & predictability of the world for granted. We think it is 'out there,' not a construct inside our own heads. It is only when it shifts and shatters that we are left wondering why we ever believed in it in the first place."

~A. Salter, "Predators"
167/ "It is beyond this book to talk about the road back from such an altered life. I discussed what I know of it previously in a book on the impact of sexual abuse called 'Transforming Trauma'. But the purpose of this book is to try to prevent it in the first place."

~A. Salter
168/ "It is time at least to consider how we might reduce our vulnerability without giving up our hopefulness, our good will, and our joy."

~Anna Salter, "Predators", end of chapter 9, "Rose-Coloured Glasses and Trauma"
169/ Chapter 10: "Detecting Deception".

"What all of us would like is a checklist that we can use to spot predators, a sort of nontechnical polygraph that would tell us whom to trust and whom not, ... Unfortunately, such a checklist does not exist."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
170/ "over & over we confuse likability with trustworthiness, familiarity with safety, warmth with caring. 'Niceness is a decision,' Gavin De Becker wrote, but we really don’t believe that. Predators, we think, should at least have the decency to be rude.

~A. Salter, "Predators"
171/ "We must monitor our illusions—which means becoming conscious of them—and use them discerningly."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
172/ "where our illusions become dangerous is when they cause us to assume that specific people and situations are not dangerous, when they allow us to assume the best about others without considering the worst."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
173/ "Monitoring positive illusions is important because most child molestation—even most rapes—begin not with violence but with deception."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
174/ "We must recognize and modify our own tendencies to believe that we’re living in a safe world, in order to live in a safer world."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
175/ "Finally, even if he does feel guilt, he will hide it well. There is a category of liar that is particularly hard to detect, called “practiced liars.”

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
176/ "What is it u would see, then? What is there to detect? Very little. For this reason, I do not recommend detection as the main method of protecting our children from child molesters. In Chapter 11 , I will talk about deflection, a more effective method than detection."

~AS
177/ "Nonetheless, there is a large literature on detecting deception through personal interaction alone, and it is useful to know something about it. The most important points are that: 1) people aren’t very good at it; 2) people think that they are; ...
178/ "3) the things most people believe will detect deception actually won’t; and 4) the things that will detect deception are subtle, easy to miss, and not well known."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
179/ "In interpersonal interaction, only a few major channels of communication are being used: 1)words; 2) voice characteristics (pitch, rhythm); 3) facial expressions; & 4) body language. Let’s start with what won’t work & move on to what will."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
180/ "There are only two categories of clues that are reliable in terms of detecting deception: 1) signs that the liar doesn’t know to fake; & 2) signs that the liar can’t fake. If a 'sign' doesn’t fit into one of those categories, it will not detect deception."

~Anna Salter
181/ "Gaze avoidance fails on both accounts. Not only does every single liar know it’s supposed to be a sign of deception, but everybody can control the direction of his or her gaze."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
182/ "Acts of touching, rubbing, picking at, scratching, or somehow playing with some part of one’s own body are called 'manipulators.' Outside the technical literature, they are more often simply called 'fidgetging'."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
183/ "Thus, using manipulators to assess deception is problematic. They are a sign of being nervous, not of lying. Innocent people, afraid of not being believed, are sometimes more stressed out than guilty people who feel “duping delight” when they pull one over on others."

~AS
184/ "Familiarity, too, will likewise decrease guilt and nervousness. The offender below was considered a pillar of the community. He carefully nurtured an image of himself inside and outside his home as an ideal husband, worker, and community member."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
185/ "If the targets of lies r thought 2 b suspicious & skilled at detecting lies, detection apprehension will increase. Conversely, if they r thought 2 b trusting & gullible-particularly if they r thought 2 b religious people ... detection apprehension will decrease."

~A. S.
186/ "What has surprised me, however, is how many times offenders report that children have disclosed the assaults but were not believed. Over time, an offender who has had several children disclose without suffering any consequences loses his fear of getting caught."

~A. Salter
187/ "People are easier to fool if they have a stake in believing the liar. ... What would you prefer to believe? That a child is mistaken, or that a man you liked and trusted—and to whom you gave access to your child—is a child molester?"

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
188/ "Some lies by certain people in certain situations are simply impossible to detect short of a polygraph. The polygraph—although not perfect—has a dramatically better track record than mere people in detecting deception."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
189/ "What does detect deception are things to which you & I don’t pay attention. When we interact with people, we most often pay attention to what they say & to their dominant facial expressions. We will overlook small irregularities in gesture, pitch, & facial expression"

~AS
190/ "Detecting deception really means trying to detect hidden emotion that is at variance with the picture presented to you. Truly, there are no behavioral signs of deception, none at all. Look for emotional leakage."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
191/ "A discussion of all the muscle groups that contract with conscious and unconscious displays is beyond the scope of this book. See the writings of Paul Ekman for a more detailed discussion. ...
192/ "But the bottom line is that it’s often possible to recognize whether an emotion is genuine or not by learning which muscles contract upon involuntary displays and comparing those with the person you are assessing."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
193/ "The second area where it is thought that deception can be detected is through the leakage of emblems. Emblems are gestures that are self-explanatory within a given culture and do not require words for interpretation."

~Anna Salter, "Predators"
194/ "Voice characteristics refer 2 everything about voice except words: pitch rhythm stumbling-over-words repeating-words & so on. For the average untrained person, aspects of voice characteristics may be more reliable indicators of deception than words are."

~A. S.

#prosody
195/ "In short, despite the fact that clues were there that could detect deception at a 96 percent accuracy rate, most people were no better than chance in detecting deception. They simply focused on the wrong things."

~Anna Satler, "Predators"
196/ "Researchers who study statement analysis think there are clues to deception in words, but not clues an untrained person would recognize. For example, a researcher named Wendell Rudacille has discovered that liars often evade rather than outright deny."

~A. S., "Predators"
197/ Oh @jdahlmd @wad3mullen what a delicious list, I think, from Wendell Rudacille via Dr. Anna Salter, in "Predators". Here it is again. From Rudacille's book "Identifying Lies in Disguise"
198/ Dr. Anna Salter describes Rudacille's work thus: "Rudacille (1992; 1994) looked at one hundred people accused of a crime, of whom fifty-two failed a polygraph and forty-eight passed it. As added insurance that his groups were truly genuine groups of people lying and ...
199/ "people truth-telling, he looked for outside collaboration. Of the people who failed the polygraph, 94 percent of the time outside collaboration indicated they were, indeed, lying: For example, either they eventually confessed or were convicted. Of the people who passed ...
200/ "the polygraph, 73 percent of the time there was eventually evidence that they were telling the truth: For example, someone else was convicted or confessed.The differences in speech were striking, particularly in regard to evasive answers. In the interviews with the ...
201/ "forty-eight people telling the truth, evasive answers were given at an average rate of one per interview, for a total of forty-eight evasions. By contrast, the fifty-two interviews with the liars produced three hundred twenty-two evasive answers, or more than six times ...
202/ "as many. The detail made the differences even more striking. In the case of the liars, 95 percent of the time, the question they evaded was about the crime. In the case of the truth-tellers, 80 percent of the time the evasion was not about the crime but about some ...
203/ "other issue that came up in the interview."

~Dr. Anna Salters, in "Predators", describing the study by Wendell Rudacille
204/ "The basic principle behind statement analysis is that lie catchers should pay attention to what people actually say, not to what they imply. When you read the words literally, you will see marked differences between people lying and people telling the truth."

~A. Salter
205/ "We should be paying attention specifically to what people say, not to what they imply or intend to convey. Ordinarily, we help people out by getting the sense of things and filling in the blanks ourselves."

~Dr. Anna Salter, "Predators"
206/ "More than anything else, it is disharmony that signals deception. When people are telling the truth, their hands, facial expression, voice pitch, and words will be in harmony."

~Dr. Anna Salter, "Predators"
207/ "But these are small and subtle things. They are not easy to see. They are very easy to miss, and they aren’t even always present. Some lies are simply not detectable by anyone."

~Dr. Anna Salter, "Predators"
208/ "Thus, although I report information on detecting deception, I do so with strong reservations about its effectiveness in protecting our children. We should not put all our eggs into the basket of detecting deception; we should consider deflection instead."

~AS, "Predators"
209/ Here begins the 11th and final chapter of Dr. Anna Salter's "Predators", entitled "Protecting Our Children and Ourselves: Deflecting Sex Offenders"
210/ "Assume every coach, every priest, every teacher is not likely to be a sexual predator, but that one could be and that you will not know if he is."

~Dr. Anna Salter, "Predators"
211/ "Given that we cannot detect child molesters or rapists with any consistency, we must pay attention to ways of deflecting any potential offenders from getting access to us or to our children."

~Dr. Anna Salter, "Predators"
212/ "There is a 2nd gain from being present. A parent who is constantly attending his/her child’s extracurricular activities has a less vulnerable child. They do not have a child who is easy to groom because the child is already getting the attention that he or she needs."

~AS
213/ "The Catholic priesthood is not the only profession in which pedophilia is an issue. Child molesters have been found in the ranks of teachers therapists ministers Salvation-Army-staff police probation-and-parole-officers Boy-Scout-leaders Big-Brother-volunteers, ..."

~AS
214/ "Whenever possible, it is wise to deflect possible abuse, in other words, be there and supervise your child or support organizations that believe in avoiding situations where sexual abuse is possible."

~Dr. Anna Salter, "Predators"
215/ "Nothing will guarantee that your child won’t be victimized in some time & place that you can’t stop. But in the majority of cases of child molestation, a parent has been conned into allowing the offender to spend time with the child."

~Dr. Anna Salter "Predators"
216/ "In those cases, we have considerably more of a chance to prevent it. One of the ways we can do so is to figure out which situations are high-risk and avoid them. Also, even low-risk situations can be lowered still further with little effort."

~Dr. A. Salter, "Predators"
217/ "Other low-risk situations should be avoided entirely, as will be seen, because there is no conceivable gain from them."

~Dr. Anna Salter, "Predators"
218/ "As the press has amply reported, victims of abuse by clergy have traditionally been very effectively silenced. Historically, many have believed (or were convinced by others) that they could not attack the pedophile without attacking the church."

~Dr. A Salters, "Predators"
219/ "Also, it is much more difficult to prosecute date rape. Unless the violence produces overwhelming physical evidence, it comes down to 'he said, she said.' Even his DNA will not convict him. He will simply admit he had sex with his victim but insist it was consensual."

~AS
220/ "Most of us want to be thoughtful about this, ... somewhere in the middle. We do not want to deprive our children of everything ... to make them safe. But we also don’t want to take risks with our children if we can accomplish the same thing with less risk."

~Dr. A. Salter
221/ Here ends my tweeting quotes from Dr. Anna Salter's book "Predators: Paedophiles, Rapists, and Other Sex Offenders."
222/ @threadreaderapp please unroll
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