, 27 tweets, 26 min read Read on Twitter
@slooterman Hey @slooterman , my quick thoughts on the matter. First, have you noticed how a lot of fictional stories position neurotypical women as a key to normalcy or completion of autistic men? See: @Atypical , even @GraemeSimsion ‘s Rosie project series (which is better than most)
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion IE “it’s a truth universally acknowledged that an #ActuallyAutistic man who wants to fit in must be in want of a nt wife”
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion Compare that to portrayals of #ActuallyAutistic /coded women. Saga Norén (my fave autistic character) has casual sex, relationships on her terms, in her way, is not defined by her relationships with men etc
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion (It’s the neurotypical men she is involved with who have to meet on her level, not the other way around )
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion I digress. I do think that when it comes to the incel issue we need to look at the messages people give autistic men. Do parents encourage relationships or tell them that a relationship is a given?
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion Another thing is that I’ve noticed that the neurodiversity movement is propelled a lot by autistic women and non binary people. Whereas, in my experiences with autistic men, they are often preoccupied with personal situations.
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion I think also when we look at ADW there’s a lot of similarities between them and incels. Gadfly’s entire argument against neurodiversity is ‘that feel when no gf”
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion (Look maybe I’m being snarky because I’m in a relationship with a presumably NT girlfriend but )
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion Also remember the neurodiversity forums of old? Like intensity squared, AFF and the like? Not to mention wrongplanet (incidentally despised by people on I^2, aff)- more 4chan/deep weird bits of reddit alligned than say...tumblr. But definitely not ADW
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion So I said this earlier- I’ve heard horror stories about autistic dudes propositioning autistic women at support groups, with the guy’s Mum like egging him on 🤮
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion Before I sleep. This is a sweeping generalisation so definitely inaccurate #notallautisticmen etc. many autistic men are taught to desire nt women, taught to rely on autistic women as ‘translators’ of nt culture. More autistic men who I know are focused on ...
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion ... their own difficulties as autistic people, less on the difficulties of autistic people at large. For a minority of autistic men, that means focusing on their deficits to a point of obsession, that means concern over getting into a relationship and this isn’t just ...
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion ... straight autistic guys, like it can be the same obsession around dating men too. That makes PUA/MRA/Incel/volcel aka MGTOW (men going their own way) communities very welcoming.
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion And I say communities because that is what they are! An Australian journalist @GingerGorman wrote a book called #trollhunting which I’m reading through. At a talk of hers I attended she said that the trolls she interviewed didn’t fall out of the sky as trolls, society shaped them
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion @GingerGorman But of course, feeling bad about yourself and being autistic isn’t a valid excuse for these actions. Especially regarding predator trolls- case and point Eliot Rodgers who was autistic, who was one of the first incel terrorists, who is considered a martyr in incel communities.
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion @GingerGorman Btw, because I’m a bit of a weirdo, I’ve been thinking about this stuff for ages neurodiversity gender studies is one of my things and I might write a book on it
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion @GingerGorman I had this theory which I call gender stress. To be clear, gender stress isn’t the same as queer/trans/non binary stuff , it’s something that is also relevant to cis people. Anyway we consider gender expression and norms as a social construct....
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion @GingerGorman ... take that one step further —> gender norms and expression is a neurotypical construct. As such for neurodivergent people, I theorise that there is tension between the neurotypical norms of having x gender, and the way an autistic or Nd person expresses that gender...
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion @GingerGorman ... this could mean that some people don’t care about gender norms, might actively break the norms of the gender they identify with, or might be absolutely preoccupied to the point of obsession about fitting into the norms of their gender...
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion @GingerGorman ... an extreme example- probably Eliot Rodgers.
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion @GingerGorman So that’s my lil autism-gender studies theory, it might be a thing, it may not, I don’t know. But I think about it.
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion @GingerGorman I hope that helps! Good night! (See gif for how I feel )
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion @GingerGorman Hey @threadreaderapp can you #unroll my late night autism gender studies ramble, thanks 💖
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion Just to be clear/ hate @Atypical but I like @GraemeSimsion and his work, esp because he does actually consult autistic folk. There are some looking for an nt wife tropes in Rosie series but it’s no where near as gross as other forms of that trope.
@slooterman @Atypical @GraemeSimsion (We also interviewed him at a radio show I used to run when I was 18-19 called @GMDTAmedia , I told him how to get to the Melbourne studios while I was sick and in Sydney 😂)
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