1/ "The ordinary response to atrocities is to banish them from consciousness. Certain violations of the social compact are too terrible to utter aloud: this is the meaning of the word 'unspeakable'."

~Dr Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", opening sentences.
2/ "Remembering and telling the truth about terrible events are prerequisites both for the restoration of the social order and for the healing of individual victims."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

#prerequisites
3/ "The conflict between the will to deny horrible events & the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma ... Witnesses as well as victims are subject to the dialectic of trauma."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
4/ "Those who attempt to describe the atrocities that they have witnessed also risk their own credibility. To speak publicly about one’s knowledge of atrocities is to invite the stigma that attaches to victims."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
5/ "The knowledge of horrible events periodically intrudes into public awareness but is rarely retained for long. Denial, repression, and dissociation operate on a social as well as an individual level."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
6/ "...we realized the power of speaking the unspeakable and witnessed firsthand the creative energy that is released when the barriers of denial and repression are lifted."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
7/ "I have tried to communicate my ideas in a language ... that is faithful both to the dispassionate, reasoned traditions of my profession and to the passionate claims of people who have been violated and outraged."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
8/ "... when the traumatic events are of human design, those who bear witness are caught in the conflict between victim and perpetrator. It is morally impossible to remain neutral in this conflict. The bystander is forced to take sides."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
9/ "It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain."

~J.H. "T&R"
10/ "We find the two sides face to face; on one side the victims who perhaps wish to forget but cannot, and on the other all those with strong, often unconscious motives who very intensely both wish to forget and succeed in doing so."

~Dr. Herman, quoting Dr. Leo Eitinger
11/ "In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator’s first line of defense."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
12/ "In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator’s first line of defense."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "T&R"

first by by no means final

See @RaviZacharias, for example
13/ "After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim exaggerates; the victim brought it upon herself; and in any case it is time to forget the past and move on."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
14/ "Without a supportive social environment, the bystander usually succumbs to the temptation to look the other way. This is true even when the victim is an idealized and valued member of society."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

Perhaps she means @trdevries. #bicbw
15/ "When the victim is already devalued (a woman, a child), she may find that the most traumatic events of her life take place outside the realm of socially validated reality. Her experience becomes unspeakable."

~Dr. Herman, "T&R"

#metoo has shifted this slightly. #bicbw
16/ "Throughout the history of the field, dispute has raged over whether patients with posttraumatic conditions are entitled to care and respect or deserving of contempt, whether they are genuinely suffering or malingering, ..."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
17/ "To hold traumatic reality in consciousness requires a social context that affirms and protects the victim and that joins victim and witness in a common alliance."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
18/ "In the absence of strong political movements for human rights, the active process of bearing witness inevitably gives way to the active process of forgetting. Repression, dissociation, and denial are phenomena of social as well as individual consciousness."

~Dr. J.H. "T&R"
19/ "By the mid 1890s these investigators had also discovered that hysterical symptoms could be alleviated when the traumatic memories, as well as the intense feelings that accompanied them, were recovered and put into words."

~Dr Judith Herman "Trauma and Recovery"
20/ "Entering the public discussion of rape for the first time, women found it necessary to establish the obvious: that rape is an atrocity. Feminists redefined rape as a crime of violence rather than a sexual act."

~Dr Judith Herman "Trauma and Recovery"
21/ "Feminists also redefined rape as a method of political control, enforcing the subordination of women through terror. Susan Brownmiller ... called attention to rape as a means of maintaining male power ..."

~Dr Judith Herman "Trauma and Recovery"
22/ "Rape was the feminist movement’s initial paradigm for violence against women ... As understanding deepened, the investigation of sexual exploitation progressed to encompass relationships of increasing complexity, in which violence and intimacy commingled."

~Dr. J.H. "T&R"
23/ "Only after 1980, when the efforts of combat veterans had legitimated the concept of post-traumatic stress disorder, did it become clear that the psychological syndrome seen in survivors of rape, domestic battery, and incest was essentially the same as the syndrome seen ...
24/ " in survivors of war. The implications of this insight are as horrifying in the present as they were a century ago: the subordinate condition of women is maintained and enforced by the hidden violence of men. There is war between the sexes. Rape victims, battered women, ...
25/ "and sexually abused children are its casualties. Hysteria is the combat neurosis of the sex war."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
26/ "Psychological Trauma is an affliction of the powerless. At the moment of trauma, the victim is rendered helpless by overwhelming force."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery", beginning of chapter 2.

Thank you for the recommendation, @LoriAnneThomps2
27/ "post-traumatic stress disorder was first included in the diagnostic manual, the American Psychiatric Association described traumatic events as 'outside the range of usual human experience.' Sadly, this definition has proved to be inaccurate."

~Dr. Judith Herman "T&R"
28/ "Traumatic reactions occur when action is of no avail. When neither resistance nor escape is possible, the human system of self-defense becomes overwhelmed & disorganized. Each component of the ordinary response to danger, having lost its utility, tends to persist ..."

~JH
29/ "symptoms of PTSD fall into 3 main categories: hyperarousal intrusion & constriction. Hyperarousal reflects the persistent expectation of danger; intrusion reflects the indelible imprint of the traumatic moment; constriction reflects the numbing response of surrender."

~JH
30/ "The effort to ward off intrusive symptoms, though self-protective in intent, further aggravates the post-traumatic syndrome-attempt 2 avoid reliving the trauma 2 often results in a narrowing of consciousness,a withdrawal from engagement with others,& an impoverished life."
31/ Dr. Judith Herman, in "Trauma and Recovery", is setting the stories of both my father and my mother (both now deceased) in a whole new light and context. My understanding of their attraction to a toxic, abusive religious system is increasing. I am grateful.
32/ "The constrictive symptoms of traumatic neurosis apply to thought, memory, & states of consciousness [&] the entire field of purposeful action & initiative. In an attempt to create some sense of safety & to control pervasive fear, traumatized people restrict their lives."
~JH
33/ "In the aftermath of an experience of overwhelming danger, the 2 contradictory responses-intrusion & constriction-establish an oscillating rhythm. This dialectic of opposing psychological states is perhaps the most characteristic feature of the post-traumatic syndromes"

~JH
34/ "constraints upon the traumatized person’s inner life & outer range of activity are negative symptoms. They lack drama; their significance lies in what is missing. [thus] constrictive symptoms are not readily recognized, & their origins in a traumatic event r often lost."
~JH
35/ "Thus, the very 'threat of annihilation' that defined the traumatic moment may pursue the survivor long after the danger has passed. No wonder that Freud found, in the traumatic neurosis, signs of a 'daemonic force at work.' ...
36/ "...The terror, rage, and hatred of the traumatic moment live on in the dialectic of trauma."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery", end of chapter 2
37/ "The damage to relational life is not a secondary effect of trauma, as originally thought. Traumatic events have primary effects not only on the psychological structures of the self but also on the systems of attachment and meaning that link individual and community."

~JH
38/ "Wounded soldiers & raped women cry for their mothers, or for God. When this cry is not answered the sense of basic trust is shattered. Traumatized people feel utterly abandoned, utterly alone, cast out of the human and divine systems of care & protection that sustain life."
39/ "No matter how brave and resourceful the victim may have been, her actions were insufficient to ward off disaster. In the aftermath of traumatic events, as survivors review and judge their own conduct, feelings of guilt and inferiority are practically universal."

~JH, "T&R"
40/ "Guilt may be understood as an attempt to draw some useful lesson from disaster & to regain some sense of power and control. To imagine that one could have done better may be more tolerable than to face the reality of utter helplessness."

~Dr. Judith Herman "T&R"
41/ "Because of their difficulty in modulating intense anger, survivors oscillate between uncontrolled expressions of rage and intolerance of aggression in any form."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
42/ "Similar oscillations occur in the regulation of intimacy. Trauma impels people both to withdraw from close relationships and to seek them desperately."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
43/ "Traumatized people suffer damage to the basic structures of the self. They lose their trust in themselves, in other people, and in God. Their self-esteem is assaulted by experiences of humiliation, guilt, and helplessness."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
44/ "The most powerful determinant of psychological harm is the character of the traumatic event itself. Individual personality characteristics count for little in the face of overwhelming events."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

This touches on systems theory.
45/ "There is a simple, direct relationship between the severity of the trauma and its psychological impact, whether that impact is measured in terms of the number of people affected or the intensity and duration of harm."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
46/ "With severe enough traumatic exposure, no person is immune."

Here it is again "With severe enough traumatic exposure, no person is immune."

~~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

I'm sitting here about to weep. =(
47/ "Rape and combat might thus be considered complementary social rites of initiation into the coercive violence at the foundation of adult society. They are the paradigmatic forms of trauma for women and men respectively."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
48/ "Because traumatic life events invariably cause damage to relationships, people in the survivor’s social world have the power to influence the eventual outcome of the trauma. A supportive response from other people may mitigate the impact of the event, while a hostile or ...
49/ "negative response may compound the damage and aggravate the traumatic syndrome."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

Some have referred to this latter--this negative response--as causing "soul death" It's what @GLNsummit did to the victims.
50/ "Having once experienced the sense of total isolation, the survivor is intensely aware of the fragility of all human connections in the face of danger. She needs clear and explicit assurances that she will not be abandoned once again."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
51/ "In sexual and domestic violence, however, the victim’s safety may remain in jeopardy after the attack. In most instances of rape, for example, the offender is known to the victim: he is an acquaintance, a work associate, a family friend, a husband, or a lover."

~JH, "T&R"
52/ "Moreover, the rapist often enjoys higher status than his victim within their shared community. people closest to the victim will not necessarily rally to her aid; in fact, her community may be more supportive to the offender than to her."

~Dr. JH, describing @WillowCreekCC
53/ "To escape the rapist, the victim may have to withdraw from some part of her social world. She may find herself driven out of a school, a job, or a peer group. An adolescent rape survivor describes how she was shunned: 'After that, it was all downhill. None of the girls ...
54/ "'were allowed to have me in their homes, and the boys used to stare at me on the street when I walked to school. I was left with a reputation that followed me throughout high school.'”

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
55/ "When the rapist is a husband or lover, the traumatized person is the most vulnerable of all, for the person to whom she might ordinarily turn for safety and protection is precisely the source of danger."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
56/ "If, by contrast, the survivor is lucky enough to have supportive family, lovers, or friends, their care and protection can have a strong healing influence. Burgess and Holmstrom, in their follow-up study of rape survivors, reported that the length of time required for ...
57/ "recovery was related to the quality of the person’s intimate relationships."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

I knew about this before. But Dr. Herman states it more clearly than I could have.

I feel angry at some fucking religious people who harmed ones I loved.
58/ "Women traumatized in sexual & domestic life struggle with similar issues of self-regulation. In contrast to men, however, their difficulties may be aggravated by the narrow tolerance of those closest to them. Society gives women little permission either to withdraw or to ...
59/ "express their feelings. In an effort to be protective, family, lovers, or friends may disregard a survivor’s need to reestablish a sense of autonomy. Family members may decide on their own course of action in the aftermath of a traumatic event & may ignore or override ...
60/ "the survivor’s wishes, thereby once again disempowering her."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
61/ "Thus survivors often hesitate to disclose to family members, not only because they fear they will not be understood but also because they fear that the reactions of family members will overshadow their own."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
62/ "Because of entrenched norms of male entitlement, many women are accustomed to accommodating their partners’ desires and subordinating their own, even in consensual sex. In the aftermath of rape, however, many survivors find they can no longer tolerate this arrangement."

~JH
63/ This latter makes me want to scream and weep. Reading Judith Herman is like looking at Picasso. I loathe it, and I can't look away.
64/ "Too often, this view of the veteran as a man apart is shared by civilians, who are content to idealize or disparage his military service while avoiding detailed knowledge of what that service entailed."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

I'm guilty of this. =(
65/ This next quote is going to be multiple tweets long.

"The issue of doubt becomes central for many survivors because of the immense gulf between their actual experience and the commonly held beliefs regarding rape. Returning veterans may be frustrated by their families’ ...
66/ "naive and unrealistic views of combat, but at least they enjoy the recognition that they have been to war. Rape victims, by and large, do not. Many acts that women experience as terrorizing violations may not be regarded as such, even by those closest to them. Survivors ...
67/ "are thus placed in the situation where they must choose between expressing their own point of view and remaining in connection with others. Under these circumstances, many women may have difficulty even naming their experience. The first task of consciousness-raising ...
68/ "is simply calling rape by its true name. Conventional social attitudes not only fail to recognize most rapes as violations but also construe them as consensual sexual relations for which the victim is responsible. Thus women discover an appalling disjunction between ...
69/ "their actual experience and the social construction of reality. 67 Women learn that in rape they are not only violated but dishonored. They are treated with greater contempt than defeated soldiers, for there is no acknowledgment that they have lost in an unfair fight. ...
70/ "Rather, they are blamed for betraying their own moral standards and devising their own defeat."

Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
71/ "In coming to terms with issues of guilt, the survivor needs the help of others who are willing to recognize that a traumatic event has occurred, to suspend their preconceived judgments, and simply to bear witness to her tale."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

Yes
72/ "From those who bear witness, the survivor seeks not absolution but fairness, compassion, and the willingness to share the guilty knowledge of what happens to people in extremity."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
73/ "Finally, the survivor needs help from others to mourn her losses. All of the classic writings ultimately recognize the necessity of mourning and reconstruction in the resolution of traumatic life events."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
74/ "Sharing the traumatic experience with others is a precondition for the restitution of a sense of a meaningful world. In this process, the survivor seeks assistance not only from those closest to her but also from the wider community."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
75/ "Restoration of the breach between the traumatized person and the community depends, first, upon public acknowledgment of the traumatic event and, second, upon some form of community action."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
76/ "Once it is publicly recognized that a person has been harmed, the community must take action to assign responsibility for the harm & to repair the injury. These two responses—recognition & restitution—are necessary to rebuild the survivor's sense of order & justice."

~JH
77/ "A Vietnam veteran addresses this universal tendency 2 deny the horror of war: 'If at the end of a war story u feel uplifted, or if u feel that some small bit of rectitude has been salvaged from the larger waste then u have been made the victim of a very old & terrible lie.'”
78/ "In the traumas of civilian life, the same issues of public acknwldgmnt & justice r the central preoccupation of survivors. Here the formal arena of both recognition & restitution is the criminal justice system, a 4bidding institution 2 victims of sexual & domestic violence."
79/ "At the basic level of acknowledgment, women commonly find themselves isolated and invisible before the law. The contradictions between women’s reality and the legal definitions of that same reality are often so extreme that they effectively bar women from participation ...
80/ "in the formal structures of justice."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
81/ "Women quickly learn that rape is a crime only in theory; in practice the standard for what constitutes rape is set not at the level of women’s experience of violation but just above the level of coercion acceptable to men. That level turns out to be high indeed. ...
82/ "In the words of the legal scholar Catherine MacKinnon, 'rape, from women’s point of view, is not prohibited; it is regulated.'”

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
83/ "The greater the degree of social relationship, the wider the latitude of permitted coercion, so that an act of forced sex committed by a stranger may be recognized as rape, while the same act committed by an acquaintance is not. Since most rapes are in fact committed by ...
84/ "acquaintances or intimates, most rapes are not recognized in law. In marriage, many states grant a permanent and absolute prerogative for sexual access, and any degree of force is legally permitted."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery", 1992.
85/ "Efforts to seek justice or redress often involve further traumatization, for the legal system is often frankly hostile to rape victims."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery", 1992.
86/ "The legal system is designed to protect men from superior power of the state but not to protect women or children from superior power of men. It therefore provides strong guarantees for the rights of the accused but essentially no guarantees for the rights of the victim."
87/ "If one set out by design to devise a system for provoking intrusive post-traumatic symptoms, one could not do better than a court of law. Women who have sought justice in the legal system commonly compare this experience to being raped a second time."

~JH
88/ "Not surprisingly, the result is that most rape victims view the formal social mechanisms of justice as closed to them, and they choose not to make any official report or complaint. Studies of rape consistently document this fact."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
89/ "Only 1% of rapes are ultimately resolved by arrest & conviction of the offender. Thus the most common trauma of women remains confined to the sphere of private life, without formal recognition or restitution from the community. There is no public monument for rape survivors"
90/ "In the task of healing, therefore, each survivor must find her own way to restore her sense of connection with the wider community. We do not know how many succeed in this task."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
91/ "In refusing to hide or be silenced, in insisting that rape is a public matter, and in demanding social change, survivors create their own living monument."

~Dr. Judith Herman "Trauma and Recovery", end of Chapter 3
92/ "repeated trauma occurs only when the victim is a prisoner, unable to flee, & under the control of the perpetrator. Such conditions obviously exist in prisons ... These conditions may also exist in religious cults, in brothels and ... in families."

~Dr. J Herman, "T&R"
93/ "Political captivity is generally recognized, whereas the domestic captivity of women and children is often unseen. A man’s home is his castle; rarely is it understood that the same home may be a prison for women and children."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
94/ "The barriers to escape are generally invisible. They are nonetheless extremely powerful. Children are rendered captive by their condition of dependency. Women are rendered captive by economic, social, psychological, & legal subordination, as well as by physical force."

~JH
95/ "Captivity, which brings the victim into prolonged contact with the perpetrator, creates a special type of relationship, one of coercive control. ... as in the case of religious cult members, battered women, & abused children."

~Dr. J Herman "Trauma & Recovery"

@katdurnil
96/ "In situations of captivity, the perpetrator becomes the most powerful person in the life of the victim, and the psychology of the victim is shaped by the actions and beliefs of the perpetrator."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery", Chapter 4, "Captivity"
97/ "[The Perpetrator's] most consistent feature, in both the testimony of victims & the observations of psychologists, is his apparent normality. Ordinary concepts of psychopathology fail to define or comprehend him."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "T&R"

see:
98/ "Authoritarian, secretive, sometimes grandiose, and even paranoid, the perpetrator is nevertheless exquisitely sensitive to the realities of power and to social norms."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

See: Bill Hybels, @jamesmacdonald, @RaviZacharias, Tom Minnick
99/ "His ultimate goal appears to be the creation of a willing victim. Hostages, political prisoners, battered women, and slaves have all remarked upon the captor’s curious psychological dependence upon his victim."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

My hackles are up
100/ "The desire for total control over another person is the common denominator of all forms of tyranny. ... Sex offenders demand that their victims find sexual fulfillment in submission."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

This book! I want to scream and cry =(
101/ "Drawing upon the testimony of political prisoners from widely differing cultures, Amnesty International in 1973 published a 'chart of coercion,' describing these methods in detail."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

See it here: cheshirewithoutabuse.org.uk/biderman-chart…
102/ "These same techniques are used to subjugate women, in prostitution, in pornography, and in the home. ... The methods of establishing control over another person are based upon the systematic, repetitive infliction of psychological trauma."

~J.H., "Trauma and Recovery"
103/ "Not only will she have to avoid developing empathy for her abuser, but she will also have to suppress the affection she already feels."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
104/ "Many battered women describe being coerced into sexual practices that they find immoral or disgusting; others describe being pressured to lie, to cover up for their mate’s dishonesty, or even to participate in illegal activities."

~Dr. J. Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
105/ "People subjected 2 prolonged repeated trauma develop an insidious progressive form of post-traumatic stress disorder that invades & erodes the personality. .. the victim .. may feel herself to be changed irrevocably, or she may lose the sense that she has any self at all."
106/ "Or they may become so accustomed to their condition that they no longer recognize the connection between their bodily distress symptoms and the climate of terror in which these symptoms were formed."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
107/ "Thinking of the future stirs up such intense yearning and hope that prisoners find it unbearable; they quickly learn that these emotions make them vulnerable to disappointment and that disappointment will make them desperate."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
108/ "The sense that the perpetrator is still present, even after liberation, signifies a major alteration in the victim’s relational world."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
109/ "A study of prisoner relationships ... found the overwhelming majority of survivors became part of a 'stable pair' a loyal buddy relationship of mutual sharing & protection, leading to the conclusion that the pair, rather than the individual, was the basic unit of survival."
110/ "In isolated prisoners, however, where there is no opportunity to bond with peers, pair bonding may occur between victim and perpetrator, and this relationship may come to feel like the 'basic unit of survival.'"

~Dr. Judith Herman, "T&R"

Ah we're social creatures!
111/ "The victim’s greatest contempt is often reserved, not for the perpetrator, but for the passive bystander."

~Dr. Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery"

I have the beginnings of an understanding of this thing about which Dr. Herman is writing.

Fucking Bystanders.
112/ "Even after release from captivity, the victim cannot assume her former identity. Whatever new identity she develops in freedom must include the memory of her enslaved self."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
113/ "profound alterations in the self & in relationships inevitably result in questioning basic tenets of faith. There are people with strong secure belief systems who endure the ordeals of imprisonment & emerge with faith intact. But these are the extraordinary few"

~J.H.

Yes
114/ "These staggering psychological losses can result in a tenacious state of depression. Protracted depression is the most common finding in virtually all clinical studies of chronically traumatized people."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
115/ "The chronic hyperarousal and intrusive symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder fuse with the vegetative symptoms of depression, producing what Niederland calls the 'survivor triad' of insomnia, nightmares, and psychosomatic complaints."

~J.H., "Trauma and Recovery"
116/ "Long after their liberation, people who have been subjected to coercive control bear the psychological scars of captivity."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery", end of Chapter Four, "Captivity"

Up next: Chapter Five, "Child Abuse" =(
117/ "Repeated trauma in adult life erodes the structure of the personality already formed, but repeated trauma in childhood forms and deforms the personality."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery" opening words of Chapter 5
118/ "The language of the supernatural, banished for three hundred years from scientific discourse, still intrudes into the most sober attempts to describe the psychological manifestations of chronic childhood trauma."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
119/ "In earlier times, [incest survivor] Fraser notes, she might well have been condemned as a witch. In Freud’s time she would have been diagnosed as a classic hysteric. Today she would be diagnosed with multiple personality disorder."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
120/ "With her remarkable creative gifts, she is able to reconstruct the story of a self formed under the burden of repeated, inescapable abuse, and to trace with clarity the pathways of development from victim to psychiatric patient, and from patient to survivor."

~J.H., "T&R"
121/ I see perhaps I shall have to attempt reading Sylvia Fraser. Surely the writing cannot be emotionally more difficult than Dr. Herman's. #bicbw.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sylvia_Fr…

amazon.com/Sylvia-Fraser/…
122/ "In addition to the fear of violence, survivors consistently report an overwhelming sense of helplessness. In the abusive family environment, the exercise of parental power is arbitrary, capricious, & absolute. Rules are erratic, inconsistent, or patently unfair."

~JH "T&R"
123/ "Adaptation to this climate of constant danger requires a state of constant alertness. Children in an abusive environment develop extraordinary abilities to scan for warning signs of attack. They become minutely attuned to their abusers’ inner states."

~J.H., "T&R"
124/ "Thus, while in a constant state of autonomic hyperarousal, they must also be quiet and immobile, avoiding any physical display of their inner agitation. The result is the peculiar, seething state of 'frozen watchfulness' noted in abused children."

~J. Herman, "T&R"
125/ "The social lives of abused children are also profoundly limited by the need to keep up appearances and preserve secrecy. Thus, even those children who manage to develop the semblance of a social life experience it as inauthentic."

~Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
126/ "The abused child is isolated from other family members and from the wider social world. She perceives daily, not only that the most powerful adult in her intimate world is dangerous to her, but also that the other adults who are responsible for her care do not protect her."
127/ "The child feels that she has been abandoned to her fate, and this abandonment is often resented more keenly than the abuse itself. An incest survivor describes her rage at her family: ..."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

I have a small sense of this rage.
128/ "In this climate of profoundly disrupted relationships the child faces a formidable developmental task. She must find a way to form primary attachments to caretakers who are either dangerous or, from her perspective, negligent."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
129/ "The abused child’s existential task is equally formidable. Though she perceives herself as abandoned to a power without mercy, she must find a way to preserve hope and meaning. The alternative is utter despair, something no child can bear."

~J. Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
130/ "The child victim prefers to believe the abuse did not occur. In the service of this wish, she tries to keep the abuse a secret from herself. The means she has at her disposal are frank denial, voluntary suppression of thoughts, & a legion of dissociative reactions."

~J.H.
131/ So Dr. Herman quotes Sylvia Fraser, and I see I shall be unable to cope with the latter's writing, I fear. I cannot bring myself to tweet the quote =( Perhaps in turning away, I fall prey to participating in the system of abuse =( I can feel myself denying my emotions. =(
132/ "When it is impossible to avoid the reality of the abuse, the child must construct some system of meaning that justifies it. Inevitably the child concludes that her innate badness is the cause."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
133/ "The child entrapped in this kind of horror develops the belief that she is somehow responsible for the crimes of her abusers. Simply by virtue of her existence on earth, she believes that she has driven the most powerful people in her world to do terrible things."

~J.H.
134/ "Similarly, adult survivors who have escaped from the abusive situation continue to view themselves with contempt and to take upon themselves the shame and guilt of their abusers."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery".
135/ "Thus, under conditions of chronic childhood abuse, fragmentation becomes the central principle of personality organization."

Dr. Herman is helping me understand my mother and father (both deceased), and both their FOOs, so much better, in "Trauma and Recovery"

@katdurnil
136/ "The normal regulation of emotional states is similarly disrupted by traumatic experiences that repeatedly evoke terror rage & grief. These emotions ultimately coalesce in a dreadful feeling that psychiatrists call 'dysphoria' & patients find almost impossible to describe."
137/ "These three major forms of adaptation—the elaboration of dissociative defenses, the development of a fragmented identity, and the pathological regulation of emotional states—permit the child to survive in an environment of chronic abuse."

~J. Herman "Trauma & Recovery"
138/ "... most are able successfully to conceal the extent of their psychological difficulties. Most abused children reach adulthood with their secrets intact."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

My eulogy for my mum: …ronredundancyparadoxtrap.blogspot.com/2008/07/eulogy…

Also: facebook.com/notes/benjamin…
139/ This quote will take several tweets. The writing is worth it:

"The author Richard Rhodes, a survivor of severe childhood abuse, describes how the trauma reappears in his work: 'Each of my books felt different to write. Each tells a different story. . . . Yet I see that ...
140/ "'they’re all repetitions. Each focuses on one or several men of character who confront violence, resist it, and discover beyond its inhumanity a narrow margin of hope. Repetition is the mute language of the abused child. I’m not surprised to find it expressed in the ...
141/ "'structure of my work at wavelengths too long to be articulated, like the resonances of a temple drum that aren’t heard so much as felt in the heart’s cavity.'"

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery" quoting Richard Rhodes
142/ "The survivor’s intimate relationships r driven by the hunger 4 protection & care & r haunted by the fear of abandonment or exploitation. In a quest 4 rescue, she may seek out powerful authority figures who seem 2 offer the promise of a special caretaking relationship."

~JH
143/ "the adult survivor is at great risk of repeated victimization in adult life. data on this point are compelling, at least with respect to women. The risk of rape, sexual harassment, or battering, high for all women, is ~doubled for survivors of childhood sexual abuse."

~JH
144/ "The phenomenon of repeated victimization, indisputably real, calls for great care in interpretation. For too long psychiatric opinion has simply reflected the crude social judgment that survivors 'ask for' abuse."

Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

This!!!!!
145/ "Adult survivors may nurse their abusers in illness, defend them in adversity, & even, in extreme cases, continue 2 submit 2 their sexual demands"

Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

American Evangelicalism exacerbates & perpetuates this-@GLNSummit is currently doing so
146/ "Survivors of childhood abuse are far more likely to be victimized or to harm themselves than to victimize other people. ... Perhaps because of their deeply inculcated self-loathing, survivors seem most disposed to direct their aggression at themselves."

~J. Herman, "T&R"
147/ "Contrary to the popular notion of a 'generational cycle of abuse', the great majority of survivors neither abuse nor neglect their children. Many survivors are terribly afraid that their children will suffer a fate similar & go to great lengths to prevent this."

~JH

Yep!
148/ "As the survivor struggles with the tasks of adult life, the legacy of her childhood becomes increasingly burdensome. Eventually, often in the third or fourth decade of life, the defensive structure may begin to break down. ...
149/ "When and if a breakdown occurs, it can take symptomatic forms that mimic virtually every category of psychiatric disorder. Survivors fear that they are going insane or that they will have to die."

~Dr. J. Herman, "T&R", End of Chapter 5.

Next--6: "A New Diagnosis"
150/ "Most people have no knowledge or understanding of the psychological changes of captivity. Social judgment of chronically traumatized people therefore tends to be extremely harsh."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery", Start of Chapter 6
151/ "This tendency to blame the victim has strongly influenced the direction of psychological inquiry. It has led researchers and clinicians to seek an explanation for the perpetrator’s crimes in the character of the victim."

~Dr. Judith Herman "Trauma & Recovery"

Grrrrr.
152/ "The search 4 characteristics of women that contribute to their own victimization is futile ... It's sometimes forgotten that men’s violence is men’s behavior. ... it's not surprising that more fruitful efforts 2 explain this behavior have focused on male characteristics."
153/ "What is surprising is the enormous effort to explain male behavior by examining characteristics of women.”

~Dr. Judith Herman, quoting David Sugarman and Gerald Hotaling. download the article from which she's quoting here: researchgate.net/publication/20…
154/ "Instead of conceptualizing the psychopathology of the victim as a response to an abusive situation, mental health professionals have frequently attributed the abusive situation to the victim’s presumed underlying psychopathology.

~Dr. J. Herman, "T&R", 1992
155/ "An egregious example: 1964 study of battered women entitled 'The Wife-Beater’s Wife' ... battered women, whom they found to be “castrating,” “frigid,” “aggressive,” “indecisive,” & “passive.” concluded that marital violence fulfilled these women’s “masochistic needs.”

~JH
156/ For a more recent example of similar victim-blaming, see @trdevries & @GLNSummit, 2018, attached.
157/ "Having identified the women’s personality disorders as the source of the problem, these clinicians set out to 'treat' them. In one case they managed to persuade the wife that she was provoking the violence, and they showed her how to mend her ways."

~J. Herman, "T&R"
158/ "While this unabashed, open sexism is rarely found in psychiatric literature today, the same conceptual errors, with their implicit bias and contempt, still predominate."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery", 1992

#implicitbias
#implicitcontempt
159/ "Thus, patients who suffer from the complex aftereffects of chronic trauma still commonly risk being misdiagnosed as having personality disorders. They may be described as inherently 'dependent,' 'masochistic,' or 'self-defeating.'"

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
160/ "In general, the diagnostic categories of the existing psychiatric canon are simply not designed for survivors of extreme situations and do not fit them well."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", 1992
161/ "The lack of an accurate and comprehensive diagnostic concept has serious consequences for treatment, because the connection between the patient’s present symptoms and the traumatic experience is frequently lost."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", 1992
162/ "Even the diagnosis of 'post-traumatic stress disorder', as it is presently defined, does not fit accurately enough."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", 1992
163/ "The current formulation of post-traumatic stress disorder fails to capture either the protean symptomatic manifestations of prolonged, repeated trauma or the profound deformations of personality that occur in captivity."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", 1992
164/ "The syndrome that follows upon prolonged, repeated trauma needs its own name. I propose to call it 'complex post-traumatic stress disorder.'"

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", 1992

I note this diagnosis was not included in DSM-5 (2013), alas.
165/ "Thus, observers have often glimpsed the underlying unity of the complex traumatic syndrome and have given it many different names. It is time for the disorder to have an official, recognized name."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", 1992
166/ "Naming the syndrome of complex post-traumatic stress disorder represents an essential step toward granting those who have endured prolonged exploitation a measure of the recognition they deserve."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", 1992
167/ "While only a small minority of survivors, usually those with the most severe abuse histories, eventually become psychiatric patients, many or even most psychiatric patients are survivors of childhood abuse."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", 1992
168/ "3 particularly troublesome diagnoses have often been applied 2 survivors of childhood abuse: somatization disorder, borderline personality disorder, & multiple personality disorder. All 3 of these diagnoses were once subsumed under the now obsolete name 'hysteria'"

~J.H.
169/ "Patients, usually women, who receive these diagnoses evoke unusually intense reactions in caregivers. ... They are frequently accused of manipulation or malingering. ... Sometimes they are frankly hated. These 3 diagnoses are charged with pejorative meaning."

~J.H. "T&R"
170/ "Some clinicians have argued that the term 'borderline' has become so prejudicial that it should be abandoned altogether, just as its predecessor term, hysteria, had to be abandoned."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery" 1992

Note: It's still in DSM-5 (2013)
171/ "The common denominator of these 3 disorders is their origin in a history of childhood trauma...These 3 disorders might perhaps be best understood as variants of [C-PTSD], each deriving its characteristic features from 1 form of adaptation to the traumatic environment."

~JH
172/ "Understanding the role of childhood trauma in the development of these severe disorders also informs every aspect of treatment. This understanding provides the basis for a cooperative therapeutic alliance ..."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
173/ "The testimony of patients is eloquent on the point that recognition of the trauma is central to the recovery process"

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", End of Chapter 6, "A New Diagnosis", End of Part I, "Traumatic Disoders". Next-Chapter 7: "A Healing Relationship"
174/ "The core experiences of psychological trauma are disempowerment and disconnection from others. Recovery, therefore, is based upon the empowerment of the survivor and the creation of new connections."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
175/ "The first principle of recovery is the empowerment of the survivor. She must be the author and arbiter of her own recovery. Others may offer advice, support, assistance, affection, and care, but not cure."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
176/ "Caregivers schooled in a medical model of treatment often have difficulty grasping this fundamental principle and putting it into practice."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"

This is also true in helping children with autism. Firstly, one must empower them.
177/ "Stark & Flitcraft state as their therapeutic goal with battered women the restoration of autonomy & empowerment. ... autonomy = 'a sense of separateness, flexibility, & self-possession...' empowerment = 'the convergence of mutual support with individual autonomy.'"

~JH
178/ "Trauma damages the patient’s ability to enter a trusting relationship; it also has an indirect but powerful impact on the therapist. [thus] both .. will have predictable difficulties coming to a working alliance. These difficulties must be ... anticipated from the outset."
179/ "... a destructive force appears to intrude repeatedly into the relationship between therapist & patient. This force, which was traditionally attributed to the patient’s innate aggression, can now be recognized as the violence of the perpetrator.

~JH, "Trauma & Recovery"
180/ "'The terror is as though the patient & therapist convene in the presence of yet another person. The 3rd image is the victimizer, who . . . demanded silence & whose command is now being broken.'"

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", quoting Dr. Eric Lister
181/ "Trauma is contagious. In the role of witness to disaster or atrocity, the therapist at times is emotionally overwhelmed. She experiences, to a lesser degree, the same terror, rage, & despair as the patient."

~JH, "Trauma & Recovery"

And then also, a little, the reader
182/ "As a defense against the unbearable feeling of helplessness the therapist may try to assume the role of a rescuer. The therapist may take on more and more of an advocacy role for the patient. By so doing, she implies that the patient is not capable of acting for herself. ..
183/ "The more the therapist accepts the idea that the patient is helpless, the more she perpetuates the traumatic transference and disempowers the patient."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

Oh. I see @Sweetenlife was right, and I was wrong. I'm sorry.
184/ "The 3 most common narcissistic snares r the aspirations 2 heal all, know all, & love all..unless such trends r worked out..[the therapist] will be subjected 2 a sense of helplessness & discouragement & tempted to solve his dilemma by resort 2 magical & destructive action.”
185/ This chapter, more than the 6 that went before it, is doing me in. I hate it and love it, simultaneously.

Reading and tweeting "Trauma and Recovery", by Dr. Judith Herman, who coined, in this book, the diagnosis/description: "Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder"
186/ "In her role as witness, the therapist is caught in a conflict between victim * & perpetrator. She comes to identify not only with the feelings of the victim but also with those of the perpetrator."

~Dr. J. Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", on transference & countertransference
187/ "Finally, the therapist’s emotional reactions include not only those identified with victim and perpetrator but also those exclusive to the role of the unharmed bystander."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
188/ "Indeed, the origin of the patient’s disturbance in a history of childhood abuse may be lost to the patient’s awareness, and all too commonly it is lost to the therapist’s awareness as well."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
189/ "Representative pairs of actors that may figure in the patient’s inner life include the 'destructive bad infant' & 'punitive sadistic parent,' the 'unwanted child' & 'uncaring self-involved parent,' the 'defective worthless child' & 'contemptuous parent', the 'abused ...
190/ "'victim' & 'sadistic attacker,' & the 'sexually assaulted prey' & 'rapist.' Though Kernberg understands these 'actors' as distorted fantasised representations of patient’s experience, more likely they accurately reflect early relational environment ofthe traumatized child."
191/ "Sublimation, altruism, and humor are the therapist’s saving graces. In the words of one disaster relief worker, 'To tell the truth, the only way me and my friends found to keep sane was to joke around and keep laughing. The grosser the joke the better.'"

~J. Herman, "T&R"
192/ "And it seems possible to further paraphrase the relation of adult integrity and infantile trust by saying that healthy children will not fear life if their elders have integrity enough not to fear death.”

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
193/ "Integrity is the capacity to affirm the value of life in the face of death, to be reconciled with the finite limits of one’s own life and the tragic limitations of the human condition, and to accept these realities without despair."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
194/ "Integrity is the foundation upon which trust in relationships is originally formed, and upon which shattered trust may be restored."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
195/ "The interlocking of integrity & trust in caretaking relationships completes the cycle of generations and regenerates the sense of human community which trauma destroys."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", End of Chapter 7, "A Healing Relationship". Next--8: "Safety"
196/ "Recovery unfolds in three stages. The central task of the first stage is the establishment of safety. The central task of the second stage is remembrance and mourning. The central task of the third stage is reconnection with ordinary life."

~J. Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
197/ "Oscillating and dialectical in nature, the traumatic syndromes defy any attempt to impose such simpleminded order."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
198/ "Some people feel that acknowledging psychological harm grants a moral victory to the perpetrator, in a way that acknowledging physical harm does not."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
199/ "Often it is necessary for the therapist to reframe accepting help as an act of courage. Acknowledging the reality of one’s condition and taking steps to change it become signs of strength, not weakness; initiative, not passivity."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
200/ "Survivors feel unsafe in their bodies. Their emotions and their thinking feel out of control. They also feel unsafe in relation to other people. The strategies of therapy must address the patient’s safety concerns in all of these domains."

~J. Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
201/ "The principle of respecting the patient’s autonomy is of great importance from the outset, even in the routine medical examination and treatment of injuries."

~Dr. Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery"

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I'm astonished that I didn't learn this until my 30's
202/ "Relatives or close friends who take on the task of participating in the survivor’s safety system must expect to have their lives disrupted for a time. They may be called upon to provide round-the-clock support for the basic tasks of daily living."

~J.H. "Trauma & Recovery"
203/ "In the matter of criminal reporting as in all other matters the choice must rest with the survivor. A decision 2 report ideally opens door 2 social restitution. In reality this decision engages the survivor with a legal system that may be indifferent or hostile 2 her."

~JH
204/ "The decision to seek redress from the justice system, therefore, cannot be made lightly. The survivor must make an informed choice with the full knowledge of risks as well as benefits; otherwise she will simply be retraumatized."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
205/ "As in the case of a single acute trauma, establishing safety begins with control of the body and moves outward toward self-protection and the organization of a safe environment."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

I don't think I've learned so much in 1 book before.
206/ "In this, as in all other matters, however, the survivor must be in control of the decision-making process. If this principle is not scrupulously observed, the survivor may come to feel belittled, patronized, or demeaned."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
207/ "The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt. Rather, it must be based upon the self-protective capability of the victim."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
208/ "Without freedom, there can be no safety and no recovery, but freedom is often achieved at great cost. In order to gain their freedom, survivors may have to give up almost everything else. ... Rarely are the dimensions of this sacrifice fully recognized."

~J. Herman, "T&R"
209/ "the single most common therapeutic error is avoidance of the traumatic material, probably the 2nd most common error is premature or precipitate engagement in exploratory work without sufficient attention 2 the tasks of establishing safety & securing a therapeutic alliance."
210/ "Outpatient psychotherapy may be inadequate or completely inappropriate for a patient whose self-care or self-protection is badly compromised."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
211/ "Nowhere is it written that the recovery process must follow a linear, uninterrupted sequence. But traumatic events ultimately refuse to be put away. At some point the memory of the trauma is bound to return, demanding attention."

~J.H., "T&R", End of Chapter 8, "Safety"
212/ "In the second stage of recovery, the survivor tells the story of the trauma. She tells it completely, in depth and in detail. This work of reconstruction actually transforms the traumatic memory, so that it can be integrated into the survivor’s life story."

~J.H., "T&R"
213/ "Another therapist describes traumatic memory as a series of still snapshots or a silent movie; the role of therapy is to provide the music and words."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery", Opening of Chapter 7, "Remembrance and Mourning"
214/ "As the survivor summons her memories, the need to preserve safety must be balanced constantly against the need to face the past. The patient and therapist together must learn to negotiate a safe passage between the twin dangers of constriction and intrusion."

~JH, "T&R"
215/ "Reconstructing the trauma is ambitious work. It requires some slackening of ordinary life demands, some 'tolerance for the state of being ill.'"

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
216/ "A narrative that does not include the traumatic imagery and bodily sensations is barren and incomplete. The ultimate goal, however, is to put the story, including its imagery, into words."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
217/ "The recitation of facts without the accompanying emotions is a sterile exercise, without therapeutic effect. As Breuer and Freud noted a century ago, 'recollection without affect almost invariably produces no result.'”

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
218/ "Reconstructing the trauma story also includes a systematic review of the meaning of the event, both to the patient and to the important people in her life. The traumatic event challenges an ordinary person to become a theologian, a philosopher, and a jurist."

~JH, "T&R"
219/ "Survivors of atrocity of every age and every culture come to a point in their testimony where all questions are reduced to one, spoken more in bewilderment than in outrage: Why? The answer is beyond human understanding."

~Dr. Judith Herman, making me weep, again =(
220/ "As the survivor attempts to resolve these questions, she often comes into conflict with important people in her life. There is a rupture in her sense of belonging within a shared system of belief."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
221/ "The therapist normalizes the patient’s responses, facilitates naming & use of language, & shares the emotional burden of trauma. She also contributes to constructing a new interpretation of the traumatic experience that affirms the dignity & value of the survivor."

~J.H.
222/ "the therapist...must constantly remind herself to make no assumptions about either the facts or the meaning of the trauma to the patient. If she fails to ask detailed questions, she risks superimposing her own feelings & her own interpretation onto the patient’s story."
~JH
223/ "Thus, both patient and therapist must accept the fact that they do not have complete knowledge, and they must learn to live with ambiguity while exploring at a tolerable pace."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

yes. yes. yes.
224/ "The therapist has to remember that she is not a fact-finder and that the reconstruction of the trauma story is not a criminal investigation. Her role is to be an open-minded, compassionate witness, not a detective."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
225/ "Because the truth is so difficult to face, survivors often vacillate in reconstructing their stories. Denial of reality makes them feel crazy, but acceptance of the full reality seems beyond what any human being can bear."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
226/ "It is understandable for both patient and therapist to wish for a magic transformation, a purging of the evil of the trauma. Psychotherapy, however, does not get rid of the trauma. The goal of recounting the trauma story is integration, not exorcism."

~J. Herman, "T&R"
227/ "@richard_mollica describes the transformed trauma story as simply a 'new story,' which is 'no longer about shame and humiliation' but rather 'about dignity and virtue.' Through their storytelling, his refugee patients 'regain the world they have lost.'"

~J. Herman, "T&R"
228/ "Therapeutic techniques for transforming the trauma story have developed independently for many different populations of traumatized people. Two highly evolved techniques are the use of 'direct exposure' or 'flooding'...and the use of formalized 'testimony'..."

~JH, "T&R"
229/ "It appears, then, that the 'action of telling a story' in the safety of a protected relationship can actually produce a change in the abnormal processing of the traumatic memory."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
230/ "With this transformation of memory comes relief of many of the major symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. The physioneurosis induced by terror can apparently be reversed through the use of words."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
231/ "Unless the relational aspect of the trauma is also addressed, even the limited goal of relieving intrusive symptoms may remain out of reach. The patient may be reluctant to give up symptoms such as nightmares or flashbacks, because they have acquired important meaning."
~JH
232/ "'I confess I bring on what few war dreams I now have, entirely by *willingly* considering war of an evening. I have my duty to perform towards War.'"

~Dr. Judith Herman, quoting war poet Wilfred Owen

See the whole letter from Feb. 1918: books.google.com.au/books?id=f2kbA…
233/ "Piecing together the trauma story becomes a more complicated project with survivors of prolonged repeated abuse. Techniques effective 4 approaching circumscribed traumatic events may not b adequate 4 chronic abuse, particularly 4 survivors who have major gaps in memory."
JH
234/ "The simplest technique for the recovery of new memories is the careful exploration of memories the patient already has. Most of the time this plain, workaday approach is sufficient."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

She almost makes me want to become a therapist.
235/ "Trauma inevitably brings loss. Even those who are lucky enough to escape physically unscathed still lose the internal psychological structures of a self securely attached to others. Those who are physically harmed lose in addition their sense of bodily integrity."

~J.H.
236/ "Traumatic losses rupture the ordinary sequence of generations & defy the ordinary social conventions of bereavement. The telling of the trauma story thus inevitably plunges the survivor into profound grief."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

crying again. this book!
237/ "The descent into mourning is at once the most necessary and the most dreaded task of this stage of recovery. Patients often fear that the task is insurmountable, that once they allow themselves to start grieving, they will never stop."

~Dr. J. Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
238/ "Reclaiming the ability 2 feel full the range of emotions including grief must b understood as an act of resistance rather than submision 2 the perpetrator’s intent. Only through mourning everything she has lost can the patient discover her indestructible inner life."

~J.H.
239/ "Since mourning is so difficult, resistance to mourning is probably the most common cause of stagnation in the second stage of recovery. Resistance to mourning can take on numerous disguises."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
240/ "During the process of mourning, the survivor must come to terms with the impossibility of getting even. As she vents her rage in safety, her helpless fury gradually changes into a more powerful and satisfying form of anger: righteous indignation."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "T&R"
241/ "Giving up the fantasy of revenge does not mean giving up the quest for justice; on the contrary, it begins the process of joining with others to hold the perpetrator accountable for his crimes."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

@jenniferr1971 & @Chelseaker
242/ "Revolted by the fantasy of revenge, some survivors attempt to bypass their outrage altogether through a fantasy of forgiveness. This fantasy, like its polar opposite, is an attempt at empowerment."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

I'm weeping again =(. So grateful.
243/ "True forgiveness cannot be granted until the perpetrator has sought and earned it through confession, repentance, and restitution. Genuine contrition in a perpetrator is a rare miracle."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
244/ "The fantasy of compensation, like the fantasies of revenge and forgiveness, often becomes a formidable impediment to mourning. Part of the problem is the very legitimacy of the desire for compensation."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
245/ "The quest for fair compensation is often an important part of recovery. it also presents a potential trap. Prolonged, fruitless struggles 2 wrest compensation from the perpetrator or from others may represent a defense against facing the full reality of what was lost."

~JH
246/ "Paradoxically, the patient may liberate herself from the perpetrator when she renounces hope of getting any compensation from him. As grieving progresses, the patient comes to envision a more social, general, and abstract process of restitution, ..."

~J. Herman "T&R"
247/ "Leonard Shengold poses the central question at this stage of mourning: 'Without the inner picture of caring parents, how can one survive?...Every soul-murder victim will be wracked by the question ‘Is there life without father and mother?’"

~J.H. "Trauma & Recovery"
248/ "Commonly the patient has the fantasy that she is already among the dead, because her capacity for love has been destroyed. What sustains the patient through this descent into despair is the smallest evidence of an ability to form loving connections."

~JH, "T&R"

more tears
249/ "The reward of mourning is realized as the survivor sheds her evil, stigmatized identity and dares to hope for new relationships in which she no longer has anything to hide. The restorative power of mourning and the extraordinary human capacity for renewal ..."

~JH, "T&R"
250/ "The 2nd stage of recovery has a timeless quality that is frightening. reconstruction of the trauma requires immersion in a past experience of frozen time; the descent into mourning feels like a surrender to tears that are endless."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
251/ "After many repetitions, the moment comes when the telling of the trauma story no longer arouses quite such intense feeling. It has become a part of the survivor’s experience, but only one part of it. The story is a memory like other memories, ..."

~J.H. "Trauma & Recovery"
252/ "Time starts 2 move again. When the 'action of telling a story" has come 2 its conclusion, the traumatic experience truly belongs 2 the past. At this point, the survivor faces the tasks of rebuilding her life in the present & pursuing her aspirations for the future."

~J.H.
253/ That's the end of Chapter 9, "Remembrance & Mourning". Up next: Chapter 10, "Reconnection". Only 2 more chapters and an Afterword to go.

Tweeting quotes from Dr. Judith Herman's "Trauma & Recover"

Profoundly grateful to Dr. Herman & to @LoriAnneThomps2 for recommending.
254/ "Having come 2 terms with the traumatic past, the survivor faces the task of creating a future...These are the tasks of the third stage of recovery. In accomplishing this work, the survivor reclaims her world."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery"
255/ "Survivors whose personality has been shaped in the traumatic environment often feel at this stage of recovery as though they are refugees entering a new country...for many the psychological experience can only be compared to immigration."

~JH, "T&R"

Hey--I've immigrated!
256/ "Helplessness and isolation are the core experiences of psychological trauma. Empowerment and reconnection are the core experiences of recovery."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
257/ "It bears repeating that the survivor is free to examine aspects of her own personality or behavior that rendered her vulnerable to exploitation only after it has been clearly established that the perpetrator alone is responsible for the crime."

~J.H. "Trauma & Recovery"
258/ "A frank exploration of the traumatized person’s weaknesses and mistakes can be undertaken only in an environment that protects against shaming and harsh judgment. Otherwise, it becomes simply another exercise in blaming the victim."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
259/ "Nor was that self-judgment totally attributable to residual guilt; rather, it was part of a struggle to deepen and stretch the reach of the self toward the far limits of autonomy."

~Dr. Judith Herman, quoting Dr. Robert Lifton, in "Trauma & Recovery"
260/ "As survivors recognize their own socialized assumptions that rendered them vulnerable to exploitation in the past, they may also identify sources of continued social pressure that keep them confined in a victim role in the present."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
261/ "It is at this point that survivors are ready to reveal their secrets, to challenge the indifference or censure of bystanders, and to accuse those who have abused them."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

These humans are superheroes. #!@$%^* Superheroes, I say.
262/ "Survivors who grew up in abusive families have often cooperated for years with a family rule of silence...At this point in their recovery, survivors may choose to declare to their families that the rule of silence has been irrevocably broken."

~J.H., "T&R"

#brokenrules
263/ "The power of the disclosure rests in the act of telling the truth; how the family responds is immaterial. While validation from the family can b gratifying when it occurs, a disclosure session may b successful even if the family responds with unyielding denial or fury"

~JH
264/ "In practice family disclosures or confrontations require careful preparation & attention 2 detail. Because so many family interactions are habitual & taken 4 granted, the dynamics of dominance & submission are frequently relived even in apparently trivial encounters."

~JH
265/ "Just like self-defense training, direct involvement in family conflicts often requires a series of graded exercises, in which the survivor masters 1 level of fear before choosing to proceed to higher levels of exposure."

~JH, "T&R"

I'm so proud of Megan! So. Proud!
266/ "This simple statement-'I know I have myself'-could stand as the emblem of the 3rd & final stage of recovery. The survivor no longer feels possessed by her traumatic past; she is in possession of herself.

~Dr. Judith Herman "Trauma & Recovery"

Yes. Yes. Yes.
267/ "The self-discipline learned in the early stages of recovery can now be joined to the survivor’s capacities for imagination and play. This is a period of trial and error, of learning to tolerate mistakes and to savor unexpected success."

~Dr. J. Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
268/ "Letting go of the need 4 intensity has been a process of slowly weaning myself. I’ve gotten 2 a point where I’ve actually experienced bits of plain contentment.”

~Dr. J. Herman, quoting a survivor in "Trauma & Recovery"

Seems to operate against all @GLNsummit stands for
269/ "The more actively survivors are able to engage in rebuilding their lives, the more generous and accepting they can be toward the memory of the traumatized self."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

#somuchthis
270/ "By the 3rd stage of recovery the survivor has regained some capacity 4 appropriate trust. She can once again feel trust in others when that trust is warranted, she can withhold trust when not warranted, & she knows how to distinguish between the 2 situations."

~J.H. "T&R"
271/ "Finally, the deepening of intimacy brings the survivor into connection with the next generation. Concern for the next generation is always linked to the question of prevention."

~J.H., "Trauma & Recovery"

I don't understand why this quote made me sob =(

Oh. Yes I do.
272/ "a significant minority, as a result of trauma, feel called to engage in a wider world. These survivors recognize a political or religious dimension in their misfortune & discover they can transform the meaning...by making it the basis for social action."

~J. Herman, "T&R"
273/ "Social action offers the survivor a source of power that draws upon her own initiative, energy, and resourcefulness but that magnifies these qualities far beyond her own capacities."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
274/ Oh! A delicious quote from @NatanSharansky, shared by Dr. Judith Herman. It will occupy multiple tweets"

"Back in Lefortovo [prison], Socrates and Don Quixote, Ulysses and Gargantua, Oedipus and Hamlet, had rushed to my aid. I felt a spiritual bond with these figures; ...
275/ "their struggles reverberated with my own, their laughter with mine. They accompanied me through prisons and camps, through cells and transports. At some point I began to feel a curious reverse connection: not only was it important to me how these characters behaved in ...
276/ "various circumstances, but it was also important to them, who had been created many centuries ago, to know how I was acting today. And just as they had influenced the conduct of individuals in many lands and over many centuries, so I, too, with my decisions and choices ...
277/ "had the power to inspire or disenchant those who had existed in the past as well as those who would come in the future. This mystical feeling of the interconnection of human souls was forged in the gloomy prison-camp world when our zeks’ solidarity was the one weapon ...
278/ "we had to oppose the world of evil."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma and Recovery", quoting @NatanSharansky
279/ "Social action can take many forms...Survivors may focus their energies on helping others who have been similarly victimized, on educational, legal, or political efforts 2 prevent others from being victimized in the future, or on attempts 2 bring offenders 2 justice."

~J.H.
280/ "Survivors undertake to speak about the unspeakable in public in the belief that this will help others. In so doing, they feel connected to a power larger than themselves."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
281/ "When a crime has been committed, in the words of Hannah Arendt, 'The wrongdoer is brought 2 justice because his act has disturbed & gravely endangered the community as a whole...It is the body politic itself that stands in need of being repaired,'"

~JH "T&R"

@trdevries
282/ "When others bear witness 2 the testimony of a crime, others share responsibility 4 restoring justice. the survivor may come 2 understand her own legal battle as a contribution 2 a largr struggle, in which her actions may benefit others as well as herself"
~JH
@jenniferr1971
283/ "The sense of participation in meaningful social action enables the survivor 2 engage in legal battle with the perpetrator from a position of strength. the survivor draws power from her ability 2 stand up in public and speak the truth without fear of the consequences."

~JH
284/ "The survivor who elects 2 engage in public battle cannot afford 2 delude herself about inevitability of victory. She must b secure in the knowledge that simply in her willingness 2 confront the perpetrator she has overcome 1 of the most terrible consequences of the trauma."
285/ "Resolution of the trauma is never final; recovery is never complete. The impact of a traumatic event continues to reverberate throughout the survivor’s lifecycle."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
286/ "The patient should not be led to expect that any treatment is absolute or final. When a course of treatment comes to its natural conclusion, the door should be left open for the possibility of a return at some point in the future."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
287/ "Yet even here I see a gift, for in place of my narrow, pragmatic world of cause & effect...I have burst into an infinite world full of wonder."

Dr. J. Herman, quoting Sylvia Fraser, in "Trauma and Recovery", end of Chapter 10, "Reconnection". Next: 11-"Commonality"
288/ Chapter 10 has been by miles my favourite chapter so far! I remain profoundly grateful for this book.

Tweeting quotes from Dr. Judith Herman's "Trauma and Recovery"
289/ "Repeatedly in the testimony of survivors there comes a moment when a sense of connection is restored by another person’s unaffected display of generosity. Something ... reawakened by an example of common altruism."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

#commonaltruism
290/ "The restoration of social bonds begins with the discovery that one is not alone. Irvin Yalom, an authority on group psychotherapy, calls this the experience of 'universality'."

~J.H., quoting Irvin Yalom

With his son:

#notalone!
291/ me, going down rabbit holes and elsewise avoiding continuing, because to finish Dr. Herman's book will feel like a loss.
292/ "These guys perfectly understood when I started talking about...certain things. I felt this overwhelming relief. It was like this deep dark secret I’d never told anybody.”

~Dr. Judith Herman, quoting Ken Smith, in "Trauma & Recovery"

#notalone!
293/ "Yalom describes this process as an 'adaptive spiral,' in which group acceptance increases each member’s self-esteem, and each member in turn becomes more accepting toward others."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

#adaptivespiral
294/ "The destructive potential of groups is equal to their therapeutic promise."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

I have experienced both of these. How about you?
295/ "When the survivor tells her story only to one other person, the confessional, private aspect of the testimony is paramount. Telling the same story to a group represents a transition toward the judicial, public aspect of testimony."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
296/ "The support of the group enables individuals 2 take emotional risks beyond what they had believed 2 b the limits of their capability. The examples of individual courage & success inspire a group with optimism & hope, even as the group is immersed in horror and grief."

~JH
297/ Here's the table from early in this final chapter of Dr. Judith Herman's "Trauma and Recovery"--Chapter 11: "Commonality"
298/ "However, a climate of safety cannot be created where the dynamic of dominance and subordination, rather than peer cooperation, is reenacted in the leadership itself."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

This touches on why @GLNsummit will likely never be safe.
299/ "This session captures the traumatc memory at the moment of transformation from disociated image 2 emotional narrative. feedback confirms her experience, encourages her 2 pay more attention 2 her feelings, & promises others can tolerate her feelings & help her to bear them."
300/ "From what I’ve seen, it’s not like it ever goes away, but somehow it loses its gripping quality, its ability to stop you in your tracks and make you feel completely undone. It loses its power."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", quoting Herman

Yes. Yes. Yes.
301/ "In one group a participant described being banished from her large and prominent family after disclosing the incest secret...She completed her mourning by deciding to change her name."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

#deepermagicfrombeforethedawnoftime
302/ "Group members have the capacity to bring out each other’s unsuspected strengths, including a sense of humor. Sometimes the most painful feelings can be detoxified by shared laughter."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

#humansareawesome
303/ "The social, relational dimensions of the traumatic syndrome r more fully addressed in a group than in an individual treatment setting, while the physioneurosis of the trauma requires a highly specific, individualized focus on desensitizing the traumatic memory."

~JH, "T&R"
304/ "Group members have an almost uncanny ability to understand the dynamics of each others’ families, and while they may feel immobilized and helpless with their own relatives, they have no such inhibitions regarding other families."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
305/ "Just the sense of having fifteen people there for you, cheering for your success—that’s a very unusual experience for women in this culture. Those connections are what help reduce the fear or freeze response."

~J. Herman, quoting Melissa Soalt, in "Trauma & Recovery"
306/ "Awareness alone is not sufficient to change long-entrenched patterns of relationship. Repeated practice is required. An open-ended, interpersonal psychotherapy group provides a protected space in which to practice."

Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
307/ "This is clearly a task of the last stage of recovery. The survivor must b ready 2 relinquish the 'specialness' of her identity. Only at this point can she contemplate her story as 1 among many & envision her particular tragedy within the embrace of the human condition."
~JH
308/ "Commonality with other people...means taking part in the customary, the commonplace, the ordinary, and the everyday. It also carries with it a feeling of smallness, of insignificance, a sense that one’s own troubles are 'as a drop of rain in the sea.'"

~J. Herman, "T&R"
309/ "The survivor who has achieved commonality with others can rest from her labors. Her recovery is accomplished; all that remains before her is her life."

~J. Herman, "Trauma & Recovery", end of Chapter 11, "Commonality"

Next: "Afterward: The Dialect of Trauma Continues"
310/ "I argued then that the study of psychological trauma is an inherently political enterprise because it calls attention 2 the experience of oppressed people"

~Dr. J. Herman, "Trauma and Recovery", 1992, near beginning of "Afterward: The Dialectic of Trauma Continues", 1997
311/ "I predicted that our field would continue to be beset by controversy, no matter how solid its empirical foundation, because the same historical forces that in the past have consigned major discoveries to oblivion continue to operate in the world."

~Judith Herman, "T&R"
312/ "I argued, finally, that only an ongoing connection with a global political movement for human rights could ultimately sustain our ability to speak about unspeakable things."

Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
313/ "...as observance of distinctions between civilians and combatants in war has widely broken down, the political nature of violence against women and children has become more apparent."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
314/ "Within the U.S., a number of large-scale community studies have demonstrated that, even in peacetime, exposure to violence is both more commonplace and more damaging than anyone would like to believe."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
315/ "It has become clear that, as Janet observed one hundred years ago, dissociation lies at the heart of the traumatic stress disorders."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
316/ "Dissociation appears to be the mechanism by which intense sensory and emotional experiences are disconnected from the social domain of language and memory, the internal mechanism by which terrorized people are silenced."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
317/ "Thus dissociation, a descriptive term derived entirely from clinical observation, may turn out to be an accurate term for a neurobiological phenomenon as well."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
318/ "The collaborative working relationship with the trauma survivor also remains the cornerstone of treatment of PTSD. The principle of restoring human connection & agency remains central 2 the recovery process & no technical therapeutic advance is likely 2 replace it."

~J.H.
319/ "the majority of trauma survivors worldwide never get formal treatment. To the extent they recover, most survivors must invent their own methods, drawing on their individual strengths & the supportive relationships naturally available to them in their own communities."

~JH
320/ "It has become clear...that restoring a sense of social community requires a public forum where victims can speak their truth and their suffering can be formally acknowledged."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

Please note, @trdevries @DickDeVos
321/ "In addition, establishing any lasting peace requires an organized effort 2 hold individual perpetrators accountable 4 their crimes...If there is no hope of justice, the helpless rage of victimized groups can fester, impervious 2 the passage of time.

~Dr. J.Herman, "T&R"
322/ "Perpetrators of massive political crimes may still hold considerable residual power, even after their worst depredations have been curtailed, and they have no interest in public truth-telling. On the contrary, they remain implacably committed to secrecy,"

~J. Herman "T&R"
324/ "Perpetrators will do anything in their power to preserve the principle of impunity. They demand amnesty, a political form of amnesia."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
325/ "Under the threat of renewed violence, one country after another has played out the conflict between knowing and not knowing, speech and silence, remembering and forgetting."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
326/ "Our own society faces a similar dilemma with respect to the legacy of slavery. The unhealed racial divisions of our country create an ongoing potential for violence."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

@byJimHenderson first drew my attention to this truth
327/ "As is so often the case, the bystanders chose to identify with the perpetrators rather than with the victim, and it was this betrayal, not simply the violence of the police, that unleashed a communal outbreak of murderous rage."

~J.H. "T&R"

This makes sense to me.
328/ "Because children are the most powerless of victims, often dependent upon their abusers, their chances for justice have ever been the most remote."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"

#truth
329/ "In response, advocates of accused perpetrators have argued that complaints based on delayed recall should be dismissed out of hand, because recovered memories can not possibly be true."

~J.H., "T&R"

I grew up surrounded by men openly espousing these ideas. weeping. =(
330/ "As in the case of more overtly political crimes, perpetrators will fight tenaciously 2 ensure that their abuses remain unseen, unacknowledged, & consigned to oblivion."

~J. Herman, "Trauma&Recovery"

@DickDeVos @MitchBarns @trdevries please stop helping Bill Hybels do this
331/ "We, the bystanders, have had to look within ourselves to find some small portion of the courage that victims of violence must muster every day."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
332/ "Like all other bystanders, therapists are sometimes forced to take sides. Those who stand with the victim will inevitably have to face the perpetrator’s unmasked fury. For many of us, there can be no greater honor."

~Dr. Judith Herman, "Trauma & Recovery"
333/ Here ends my tweeting quotes from Dr. Judith Herman's "Trauma & Recovery". I remain profoundly grateful to Dr. Herman & to @LoriAnneThomps2 for the recommendation. Here's a video interview with Dr. Herman.

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