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I’m watching S01E01 of Game of Thrones and there’d better be fisting.
This is some Dungeons and Dragons ass shit.
Jamie Lannister can get it.
Everyone is 🤣🤣🤣 at this tweet so I assume he has no dick or is a billion time murderer.
I haaaaaate this blond Eurotrash piece of shit.
Look, I know it’s the point if the show put this still somehow *more* sword & sorcery than I thought it would be.
Dothraki weddings are rowdy, huh
Eurotrash Targeryn brother dude is gross.
Everybody looks 12 years old.
whoops hey, Okay! lmao Jamie Lannister can NOT get it. I retract
I kept thinking that Kit Harrington must have something going on in media res that eludes me based on what I know of him, which is nothing, but, um
so is this kid who went out the window the creep in the wheelchair from Sunday night
it’s too late for me, isn’t it
I can’t believe this fucking show was on in Obama’s first term; that was easily one thousand years ago
I think I thought this show was more Wolf Hall-ish, and I think I thought that because they marketed it that way?
Nobody mentioned zombies and wizards.
Joffrey Can eat shit.
Since the only other episode I’ve seen was on Sunday it’s kind of fun watching Arya kick Joffrey’s ass all over the place.
Little bitty Arya should beat the shit out of Cersei too imho
I feel like I had been told there was a good bit more sex in this.
Who does the actor playing Catelyn Stark remind me of?
If Whosis Targeryn gets to humiliate her brother every week I’ll watch the whole series.
Kind of into Khaleesi.
Did not know, could not tell from your tweets that that was the same person as Danerys.
I need to save some time, here; can you just tell me what I think about Tyrion?
I’m on E04 and he seems very smart and very mean. I hope he’s secretly moral.
He ~did~ smack Joffrey a bunch, which implies a certain goodness.
Boy I hope things go hard for Viserys
lmao it’s an actual throne
I mean, I watched Parks & Rec, I know about the set piece, I’m just kind of confounded that “the Iron Throne” isn’t a metaphor
This guy was the bad guy in Shanghai Knights.
I don’t know his name, there are too many people in this show.
Catelyn Stark is a piece of work.
Now who the fuck are the Tyrells??
Am I seriously going to be expected to track seven families?
I’m scared to tell you the people I think are sexy in case they’re eunuchs or incest zombies or something.
Ned Stark has a hard job.
This show is an an exercise in being several paragraphs into a scene and saying “wait, have I ever seen these people before?”
Cersei is Trumpism
although to be fair Catelyn Stark actually ~is~ Fake News
The old dudes are a billion times sexier than the youngsters.
Kit Harrington has negative charisma; interesting actors are less interesting around him.
Meanwhile 50 year-old Jorah Monmount can break me open like a can of biscuits, sorry not sorry.
[flaps hands helplessly] who are any of these people?!?
I feel like it’s been a minute since someone slapped the shit out of Joffrey.
I can’t tell if these actors are supposed to be playing younger, or if I’m now so elderly that 19 looks like 14.

so Sansa’s....stupid?
Lannisters got some flowers in the attic
Theon you’re boring
And Jon Snow is a pouty wet mess
awww the Drogos are cute; I feel bad about what’s about to happen to them
I could go for a really gratuitous Khal and Danerys sex scene about now, tbqh; any hope?
Ned is a messy bitch who loves drama.
Doesn’t mind making a scene, either.
I have watched the first seven episodes and truly truly enjoyed about an hour and seventeen minutes; why does this keep happening
this is going to be a seventy episode live-tweet, isn’t it
remember when I watched all of True Blood in like four days hating every second of it?
Does Sansa get better or does she stay Sookie-stupid?
Eight episodes in and there is literally no way to tell if Robb Stark is remotely competent.
He could be! He could fail catastrophically. We can’t tell.
Men simply cannot control their emotions in stressful situations, it’s unreal.
Jon Snow is Peter fucking Quill but wetter
Speaking of embarrassing heterosexual emotions, I am very into Jorah Mormount’s whole season one open necked shirt,/split leather over-kilt look.
Starting to suspect that Robb Stark is not a spoiled idiot.
Forgive my suspicions, but literally everyone else is, so
Oooooh Cersei is a very bad person
Still mad at Lena Headey for not putting on shoes for the Purge.
Why are all the Lannisters so hot?? It’s depressing; it feels like an evolutionary adaptation.
I think you should be ONE thing, smoking hot OR mean as a snake. You really only need one.
And I think one of them is a Doctor Who??!?
It is VERY annoying that the GoT wiki is called “A Wikia of Ice and Fire”
Westeros dot ~org~ 🙄🙄
This is no way for a Khal to go ☹️
oh FUCK Jorah’s wearing armor
This is okay, right? It’s okay to be horny for Jorah? He’s not secretly a Lannister or anything?
Tyrion and Bronn basically playing Never Have I Ever is very cute
In the moments when Tyrion cannot rely on his smarts this show does a very good job of making him look physically vulnerable without making him look silly.
And that was it, that was the sincerely appreciative tweet that tells you I’m getting Stockholmed.
Theon is a Reddit power user
I wouldn’t mind giving Sansa a swift, sharp kick in the ass.
Um, I don’t think this is another Ned fake-out
Everybody yelling at me for my hot Sansa takes.
I just started watching this show two days ago, you know.
If you say she gets better I believe you, but she’s being kind of a ninny right now!!!
BOY I hope things go hard for Joffrey
Tyrion come back, Joffrey needs slapping
Wow, okay, Sansa, i apologize, I feel like some good progress has been made here in the [checks watch] 13 minutes since your dad’s head came off in front of you
[prepares to float what is possibly a very controversial tweet]
ᵗʰᵉ ᴴᵒᵘⁿᵈ ᶦˢ ᵏᶦⁿᵈ ᵒᶠ ˢᵉˣʸˀ
This fucking witch
I wish she had not killed Khal Drogo but you know, she’s got a legit beef
ugh Jon Snow, go listen to My Chemical Romance about it
Last episode of season one and it just now registered that that the Mad King was a Targeryn
You can’t make fun of me about it, either; there have been just a LOT of families coming at me the last few days
Hey, can someone real quick give me a nutshell history of all the houses from the beginning of time up through the pilot
Lord Baelish, and no one is more surprised than I am that it turns out I do know his name, is getting grosser as we go.
Whose the dude helping Arya? I need to google him
lol turns out “who’s the dude helping Arya” is the exact correct google search terms
I am so sad in anticipation of Khaleesi finding out Jorah worked for the King.
Oh dance there are peacock feather eyes on Jorah’s scabbard, things to appreciate about him, they just do not end
Sorry, y’all it’s a mental block; baby dragons are inherently silly to me
Welp. That was Season One of Game of Thrones, for sure.
Strongly Pro:
Joffrey must be laid low. Cersei must be stopped in the next episode or she’ll be around for 50. I’ve got a bad feeling about it. Jamie Lannister...I dunno, guys, I feel like I saw enough tweets to know it’s a real roller coaster with this guy.
Reserving judgement:
Danerys (leaning pro)
Robb Stark (leaning pro)

True neutral, because he is a burlap sack full of oatmeal that has been crying: Jon Snow

Completely unreasonable distaste for: Theon
Scared to stake an opinion because she might hear me: Catelyn Stark
The first season recap at the start of season 2 is so well done I kind of wish I hadn’t watched the first season.
dragon still silly
there are always extra children around in these families; did you know there are kids younger than Bran
It is just so difficult for me to take media with dragons in it seriously. I fear this is going to be a real stumbling block going forward.
Guards, Guards! excepted, obviously
this thing on her shoulder looks for all the world like Figment in the gift shop at Epcot
Jon Snow is improving as a written character, but Kit Harrington is not talented.
now who’s THIS broad
Have I ever seen this “the nightbis full of terrors” lady before
Okay I don’t know any of these people
never going to stop introducing major characters, are they
Jamie Lannister and Robb Stark should make out
not as a plot thing, they...just..should
excited for the inevitable moment when Joffrey stops giving a shit what Cersei says
Guys, can I tell you something? Too many kings.
This show is lousy with kings.
Also, how many ARE there, Robert you whore
I feel like I dropped an important plot point somewhere. One of Robert’s bastards is in the night watch?
It would be funny if every time Tyrion was whistling he was whistling the Game of Thrones theme.
Has anyone written about how Cersei is Trumpism? It’s uncanny, really.
She tells lies until they’re true and you can’t call her on it because she’s made herself believe it. There’s nothing she won’t do, she’s supremely confident, animal shrewd, but deeply stupid in many very important ways!
why do all fantasy epics have a chubby loyal supernaturally moral mate named Sam to eat the hero’s shit
Bronn is comedy relief. I’m so glad he was one of the last twenty seven to join us.
Theon Greyjoy, BLESS his heart
they’re just isn’t anything else to say about him; bless his HEART he cannot do anything right, can he
too many kings
who’s this Stannis fellow who thinks he’s such hot shit then
I mean, yeah, I get that he is the one true king, but EYE never seen him before
It is making me absolutely demented that they are not saying who this red haired witchy woman IS
fucking a witch on top of your table top Risk map as players fall to the ground isn’t symbolic at all
Sara Kate drop another WHITE HOT TRUTH BOMB on popular show, seven years late!:

the direwolf CGI is shit
[sighs very deeply] now Marjorie who now
I like this giant guard woman
im probably the first person to mention it but a few of the attitudes toward women in this show are somewhat problematic
people get murdered all over in front of anyone for any reason and yet nobody seems to accept that they are in mortal danger from somebody or another at all times
Tyrion’s girlfriend is begging to get murdered
I get that we’re supposed to feel badly for Theon but he’s the fucking worst?
Tyrion is ~really~ good at this
So many people know about Cersei and Jamie and the illegitimate Baratheon heirs that it feels crazy that they’re still killing people over it.
Like, no one really seems to ~mind~
I need this broad to stop saying the night is dark and full of terrors
What is this SHOW
the HELL
lol this guy “hey, listen, I would nnneeeeever doubt the king, but maybe, just perhaps, how bout, have you though, maaaaaaybbbe don’t bring the Smoke Monster Pussy Witch, you know, *this* time”
pretty humbling for Cersei to have to make napalm while the other women can hatch dragons and monsters out of their cooches
Jorah goddammit will you dial it down a notch; how dare you stand that way at me
You guys are all the time yelling at Bran on Sunday nights for being worthless but I think he’s doing astonishingly well?
Ten year olds shouldn’t have to do this kind of stuff
awww I wish I had a brute that owed me three lives
Theon trash
who the fuck uses SIX TRIES to BEHEAD somebody you awful AWFUL PERSON
awww man I really hoped that would be it for Joffrey
Khaleesi, you know, she’s doin’ her best.
In fairness it would be very upsetting to be the Mother of Dragons but nobody believes in dragons.
Oh hey Oona Chaplin!
Terminator: Genisys wasn’t nearly as bad as you’re thinking it was.
Nevertheless, Emilia Clarke is not making me care about dragons.
Theon meaner and dumber than any of them, maybe?
[sits in front of a television for 25 straight hours in 2019] ahem

See, I get it know: he only says Hodor, and often, you would tweet about it.
did you guys know Jamie and Cersei are twins
‘cause I *just* got that
I feel like I could take this castle away from Theon with like one gun
if I was in a game of thrones I would simply invent some guns
was Jorah Hamlet in Rosencrantz & Gulidenstern or Dead??
and yes of course I could google, Ive been googling absolutely everything, but I want you to be impressed with that pull if I’m right
you’re impressed,
Jamie Lannister hates himself and wants to die. You probably all already know this, but it just clicked for me.
it’s comical how long the credits are for this show
Yara is deeply weird but she gives Theon a very hard time so I am bound to admire her
man Dinklage is a talented actor
I wish you all were watching with me because every Tyrion/Bronn scene I do The Odd Couple theme and it’s a pretty funny bit
oh HOT damn wildfire is for real
Joffrey fucking DIE already
it’s YEARS away but I’ll never stop saying it
being made to root for Joffrey’s side is an absolutely untenable position; i hope Tyrion breaks up with the Lannister’s soon
“These are brave men at our door. Let’s go kill them.”
fuckin’ A this show is getting good
I’m going to call this: Tyrion should win it all.
I would like Tyrion to win the whole ding dang game of thrones
It’s...not looking ~great~ at the moment
Tyrion’s not going to get a bit of credit for this is he
oh just hell
guys this isn’t very fair
These dumb assholes still haven’t learned that you can’t ~handle~ Joffrey.
I hate all of this.
I wish Jamie would shut the fuck up for like a second.
well THAT shut him up
Brienne owns
Is he really trying to St. Crispin’s Day twenty men?
awwwww man
I just...I have such a bad feeling about...everybody I like
okay so I suspect this is going to be a challenging show for me, a person who finds dragons dumb
these are like straight up zombies, huh
It is impossible to have been alive in 2013 without absorbing the fact that the episode I am waiting for is The Rains of Castamere, which is [checks watch] nine hours away.
The prospect of Joffrey’s ignominious death and the look on his fucking face when he realizes no one will help him is keeping me tethered to this project.
I don’t think I’m gonna finish before the finale, guys. I don’t have the stamina for 3 plus episodes a day for 15 days.
I do think if I watch live tonight it will make a lot of you completely unhinged, so I might do that.
So did the Targaryn’s ever have any blood claim to the iron throne, or did they just have dragons?
How old is Jon Snow in the books? Because all this works if hes’s like 13.
no one ever told me Ciaran Hinds was a game of thrones
I’ve decided to start calling all the actors “a game of thrones”
Hey, did y’all watch The Terror? That show was incredible and snowy and full of excellent British actors and was an efficient ten episodes.
I guess my takeaway from 21 episodes of Game of Thrones is that more people should have watched The Terror
I am so angry about Tyrion right now, it’s unreal
Baratheons are not hot.
Is Stannis under an actual enchantment, or is it just his dick
I am enjoying Marjorie
It is unconscionable how long these credits are.
Sansa you dummy
“You may speak freely. We’re only women here” is a laugh line.
Tormund was in F8 of the Furious and he could get it then and he can get it here and he can get it from me.
guys, these wolves are terrible
I thought this show made money, spend it on wolves
honest to God I have tried with this woman but if you want to get murdered this badly I’m going to have to let you, Shay
“can you stop sucking my dick long enough for me to warn you not to come here to suck my dick, you know what? I give”
Joffrey is no match for Marjorie and it’s thrilling.
serious question: should I have any idea at all who had taken Theon and is torturing him?
It could be I zoned out and missed a major plot point, or it could be that this is just GoT and they will never tell me who anybody is
I can’t figure out the Hound at all
Jamie Lannister is trying my nerves n
it’s a wild ride with this guy
gonna float an idea and just hear me out, ok, listen; no, no, no, listen: Jamie and Brienne should fuck
This fucking guy not being able to hit the funeral boat with a flaming arrow is exquisite timing. Every now and then this show does something exactly right.
aaaaahahaha Tyrion dragging the chair
There is a zero percent chance that Tyrion isn’t going to find out Baelish has been robbing the kingdom blind which will only go terribly for him because the Lannisters suck so bad.
another guest from the Fast & Furious family franchise!
This woman is absolutely stunning, and it’s absurd that she was the best hacker in the world but spent the second have of Furious 7 watching a mechanic do all the computer shit
you might say it was...Ludacris
ba dum tssss
I’m delirious
I’m intrigued how in season three they have introduced the concept of “comedy” to this series
it’s...not great? but i appreciate the effort
Chopping off a hand and cutting immediately to this wild closing credits song is, I’m going to say, a demented choice?
suspect I’m getting toone if those places where the show gets bad for a while; I remember that from your tweets!!
excited for tonight when you’re all flipping shit and I’m live-tweeting S03E06
j/k you could not get me on twitter tonight for love or money, I’m in too deep
Wait wait wait, is the Rains of Castamere NOT when the Red Wedding happens
oh it is
I...i thought the Red Wedding was something else
I now have no idea what the Red Wedding is; I thought it was where Joffrey and Margery die??
Now getting reports that Joffrey lives for many episodes longer than the one I was counting down to. I feel deceived.
So, The Rains of Castamere, the only episode title I know because twitter was unbearable that week, features the Red Wedding, but the Red Wedding is not Joffrey and Margery’s Wedding. I don’t know whose wedding it is.
But it’s four episode away so there will probably be 17 new characters between now and then
Natalie Dormer is fantastic.
I confess, I thought she was just a twilight or something, but she’s a very interesting actor. Unexpected.
(I promise I’m logging off before tonight’s live episode)
Which house do you think you are??! I think I’m a Carrie.
Meanwhile back in 2013 Danerys just got an army. Seems like a good move.
It’s difficult to focus on 2013 GoT when I suspect there is sex happening in 2019 GoT.
Everybody’s yelling at Jon Snow in season three, also.
He’s eating pussy back here, though, at least.
Tywin is a bad dad imo
Edmure Tully was in The Terror; he was great in it. He’s a sexy person, also.
It would be cool if Vaserys got to kill Baelish
oh noooo
How much fucking longer do I have to wait until Joffrey gets got!?? This is untenable.
All of you seem very annoyed by tonight’s episode but at luckily I stilll get to be excited about Joffrey eventually beefing it.
If I’m getting the rythyms of the show correctly the fact that Robb was just so sweet to his pregnant wife means something horrifying is going to happen to her in about 20 minutes
I hate the retrograde thoughts this show puts in my head but if they do get married I hope Sansa and Tyrion end up liking each other
I’d be interested in a scenario where slaves said “thank you for freeing me” and then killed Danerys and took all her stuff
dragons are kind of an ace in the hole, aren’t they
it’s wild that the dragons look better than the wolves, which are real animals
they still look pretty stupid, but better as they get bigger
Brienne was born to wear a robe with an animal fur neckline
regret to report that I’m back on team “Jamie Lannister can get it”
I’m having hard time with Theon at Boltons, y’all
This is a bit much
It feels absolutely crazy and, frankly, borderline hurtful, that none of you mentioned there was a BEAR THING IN THIS
I’m about to go on a tangent here, but new followers may as well know what they’re getting: that bear is Bart the Bear and he’s very famous.
Waaaait a minute, this bear was in the credits as Bart the Bear, but I think he’d Little Bart.
Bart the Bear was his dad, and he was in two movies with Anthony Hopkins, who admired him and treated him like an actor.

But he wasn’t, he was a fucking bear, and Anthony Hopkins was in mortal danger every second.
And now his bear son Little Bart has stolen his credit! You’d think the guild would have something to say about.
Also, new followers, in case you don’t know, the Bear that was in Semi-Pro killed his trainer. I’ve mentioned it before. It weighs heavily on my mind.
Also the cellist from ELO was killed by a falling hay bale. You are now up to date on what this twitter account is like.
Nothing happened to Robb’s pregnantbwife but many of you “oh no”-ed at me, so it must be in this episode.
oh shit you guys I just figured out that the Red Wedding has gotta be Edmure’s Wedding
this is gonna be awful, huh
It’s not this episode though, it’s the next one
lmao the Second Sons look like the cover of an Ellora’s Cave novel
each time I see Stannis’ war map I hear Ben Wyatt saying “The CONES.... of Dunshire”
The Second Sons are too hot; it’s an anachronism.
okay okay okay okay so anweddingbis happening here but it’s not THE wedding right?
oh Joffrey you little SHIT I hope Tyrion kills you himself you ghastly TWERP
this would actually be my preferred choice for a Red Wedfing because the bride and groom are the only people in the room I like and I know they were both alive last Sunday
(Tyrion and Sansa’s wedding. It’s cool, NOBODY PANIC.)
oh shit is Gendrys gonna fuck another smoke monster into her
guys this show...bad?
seems like it could be
oh nooooo
get away from him, you horror
well, I’d say everybody here for the blessed occasion of Sansa marrying Tyrion are about as comically miserable and pathetic as it is possible for them to be
Deeply grieved to have been told Joffrey survives next week.
I will kill the man who harms a hair of Tyrion Lannister’s head. This is my truth.
Jesus, you cant have an actor say she’s 14 and then have her undress, THANK YOU, and what does it mean that I was totally prepared to believe they’d do it
maybe Danerys will set Joffrey on fire with a dragon
oh this game of thrones was in the Transporter
absolutely shocking to me that Lance Henriksen isn’t a game of thrones; his face was made for this
so, um, they’ve been feeding it babies?
cool, cool
Well, the wedding on the last episode was kind of glum, so this one is sure to be a joyous occasion!
any one of these Frey girls would have done just fine with a decent stylist and a brightly-colored frock
oh no oh no oh no oh no
Tobias Menzies is stupid handsome but I am comfortable saying...not for too much longer.
aw man Jorah should not have to tolerate this jumped-up Fabio skater boy motherfucker
Ed Skrein you look ludicrous, stop pretending you’re hot in a barbarian way, who are trying to kid; you are hot in a completely different skinny-tie sort of way, stay in your lane
Dany doesn’t deserve any of these dudes
what if said completely earnestly that one of the people in the crowd outside the wedding was wearing aviators
I think some of you would snap after last nights coffee cup
oh no
oh no oh no oh no
don’t worry, Rickon, you’ll get to kill peopl when you’re grown up, at 12
Ceremony went off without a hitch! Welp, time to put on our dancing flats and head to the reception!
my god I thought Robb was going to kiss Talisa right in front of the Freys you idiot
Look, Talisa is a dead woman( I like her, but she was done two episodes when Robb was so sweet to her
oh no
oh nooooooooo
I am very upset but must repeat I do NOT understand the Hound at all
See I had just been saying that this was such a dumb way for a king to go, over just a vindictive old man
fuck the Lannisters (Tyrion excepted)
oh my god you all must have lost your minds
guys, can I tell you something? These Bolton’s gotta GO
( sick of my phone making me look ignorant but not enough to ruin my thread by correcting all these plural/possessives)
NOW, for real though, I’m going to have to insist we turn our attention to Joffrey.
Like, immediately. Like before we leave this meeting.
Tywin, step on that, will you
I’ve lost track of where everybody is.
too many kings and too much geography imo
don’t mail that shit to his *dad*
see, I knew I was right to be pro-Yara
lmao I’m still thinking of the wedding
that was an UNBELIEVABLE hard cut to credits at the end
no offense, but I’m getting bored waiting for Shae to hit the bricks
with her feet or with her skull
Lord Varys seems like a pretty good guy? The man in the box is concerning, but he doesn’t seem to be a liar.
I am 100% on board with Ygritte putting arrows into Jon Snow, *especially* right after he says “I know you won’t hurt me.” It just makes sense.
awww Davos is a good sort
He also hates and fears magic; we’d have been superstitious caveman buds
or, you know, the Spanish Inquisition
oh, go back to Dogtown, Matthew Lillard in Hackers ass braid boy
blowing up Jorah’s spot I will not HAVE it
oh my god ima sorry these dragons are still so stupid
oh Dany you loon
Well, that was season three. It was mostly very bad!
Margery and Lady Tyrell were good and the Red Wedding was thrilling, but the turn to comedy was dreadful, they made Tyrion look stupid too often, and the torture was out of control.
Also the Boltons now!! Again, and I cannot stress this enough, too many families!
Also Joffrey’s not dead yet, and it’s starting to chap my ass.
ten more hours and I’m halfway through [weeps quietly]
And lol in the break between seasons the third and fourth didst Jamie Lannister take a bath
Podrick is a fine addition to the comic duo of Tyrion and Bronn, if you are prepared to concede the wisdom of putting Tyrion in comic position, which I am not.
Pedro Pascal is a game of thrones!
This cast change is the craziest thing I ever seen.
Are we supposed to just go on as if the new Daario Naharis looks even a little bit like the old one?
Not even a BIT. It’s bonkers.
I would never have suspected he was meant to be the same character if I wasn’t compulsively googling everything.
I also wouldn’t know anybody’s name.
You can’t fuck your twin sister with that straight edge haircut, Jamie, sorry.
Lady Tyrell is outstanding. The Tyrell ladies are great.
Pretty sure I just doomed them both to die.
I can’t believe they aren’t saying ANYTHING about Dany’s suitor having a whole new face, voice and body.
It would be so easy on this show. “A witch kissed him and he changed faces.” Done.
Jamie Lannister is like a completely different person, too, but that’s mostly haircut-related. Who does he remind me of, now?
I don’t like how the Boltons and every one around them are all degenerates.
Their house it called the Dreadfort and their sigil is man who has had his skin taken off; this is comic book shit.
I’m truly on the eve of my seat to watch Joffrey eat it.
Margery is gorgeous for her wedding.
Hot DAMN Pedro making Cersei and Tywin way shit is very ~good~
Every time Cersei smiles at some ghastly Joffrey antic I want to slap her sideways
Margery 🏆
This is too good for Joffrey!!
He needs to get opened up stem to stern
I bet Lady Tyrel did it
I need to stop watching this show it’s making me depressed I think
Mostly cause it’s bad tbh
standing next to Joffrey’s corpse with a younger brother, about to be king, that I am prepared to swear I have never seen or heard of in my life
once again I must protest the number of people in this show
ewwww gross
lolol inviting Tywin to have a seat on a bed that just had an orgy on it is chef kissy fingers
Pedro Pascal is a breath of fresh air
This guy who replaces the other guy is unbelievably bad
Danerys’s hottie? The new one, thatbis keant to be the same one? The last one was ludicrous but this one is absurd.
a literal pissing contest 🙄
Jamie’s haircut has changed everything. I’m confounded by it.
It’s tamed him. I’m opposed.
A hot dirty rogue who’s boning his sister is just kind of medieval, a clean cut cop who’s boning his sister is a real creep
he *did* push that kid out a window
a reeeealll roller coaster with this guy
I *knew* the Tyrell’s were cool!
Any time the camera lights on Cersei these days it seems weird that she doesn’t have a lit cigarette dangling between her fingers.
I genuinely thought Margery was gonna french a little boy, that’s how bad this show is sometimes
Jamie just gave Brienne, like, a dowry. He’s confusing me again!!!
make ooouuuuuuuttt
Sorry if I’m xenophobic but I could never love a warg. That’s the creepiest shit I’ve ever seen.
Imagine being in a room when a warg was doing his thing.
A lot of bad shit happens to babies in this series, tbh.
Natalie Dormer is fantastic in this show.
giving off definite vibes of “I ~will~ give a ten year old a handjob” though
the wet sounds when Lady Arryn kisses Littlefinger is the most disgusting thing in four seasons of a show that features incest, murder, piss jokes and torture
Pedro Pascal in the reboot of Smokey and the Bandit
I don’t think it’s very fair to heat your sword up in a fire before you start running people through with your sword.
I think a lot of the takes I have picked up on twitter re: Bran Stark are really unfair. Maybe he gets much worse but for the first four seasons he is doing some hard things rather well imo.
I’m going to start a book at the beginning and I’m only going to read it while the opening credits are playing and see how far I get before the series is done.
Danys doesn’t deserve Sir Barriston or Jorah, Stannis doesn’t deserve Davos, nobody deserves Tyrion
this Theon/Ramsey Bolton shit needs to stop soon
if I had dipped into this series at this point while it was airing I would be judging you all very harshly
of course, I’m still here 😶
dragon got big, huh??!?
Khaleesi is frustrating
like, I should be into this, but she’s like a little kid playing Queen, and it’s annoying
Oberyn is a disruptor; I love him. He’s like if the dissolute slacker son inherits the company in a nineties comedy. Tywin is the CEO. Varys is the stymied designer.
Cersei is Shooter McGavin.
I like how Margery makes a mourning gown look like loungewear.
Jamie get a clue
Cersei trash
Quick someone tell me it’s okay to like Jamie even though he fucks his twin sister and he *did* push a kid out of a window
Jamie throw this cunt out a window!!!
I will nail your GOD damn EAR lobes to the COURTROOM DOOR YOU STUPID WHORE
oh, I’m gonna ~cry~
Tyrion 😢😢😢
oh my god
holy fucking shit I love him so much
this is how they get ya!!! This is how they get you!! They suck butt for three episodes and then give you a trial!!
Also someone should knock over the Iron Bank. Maybe with magic. I’m just saying.
The Mountain, I presume.
Tyrion and Bronn are breaking up and I am about as sad as it possible to be.
lmao Daario is a mess
Like, he’s comically bad in the show, and also I laugh out loud every time I see him because they did a Dick York/Dick Sargent thing but like with Dick York/Dick Cheney
also his naked butt is not that great
hahahahahaaaa Dany got laid and woke up and put on this dress lmao
Jorah should not have to tolerate this
the costume decisions in this show are ~wild~ sometimes
everybody stop making Tyrion cry, goddammit, godDAMMit
HOT damn
I want Oberyn to win the trial be combat and the first person who acknowledges this tweet in any way is getting blocked so keep it to yourself
Nobody thinks they’re spoilers but like fifty people have spoiled things
Littlefinger needs to fall through the moon door

Littlefinger needs to “fall” through the moon door
I like how Sophie Turner is five inches taller than every man.
welp, time for Peter to get her killed, I guess?
aaahahahaha got that pretty wrong huh
I’m not mad about it
I wish the wildlings had not hooked up with the cannibals.
so this Theon/Ramsey Bolton shit does NOT seem to be ending any time soon
oh indeed it seems to be getting quite a bit worse
I cannot help but feel that Sansa saving Littlefinger will not help her out.
ohhh nooooooo
Not into how things are going right now, to be honest!!!
Boltons a horror, Jorah banished, Tyrion heartbroken, Littlefinger unchecked, and nobody’s having sex!!!
otoh Arya bursting out laughing when she hears about her aunt is a grand moment
Jamie and Tyrion being brothers is the cutest thing. They should have sewn Cersei up in a sack and dropped her into the ocean when she was four.
And apologies to my neighbors because Jesus CHRIST did I yell
Tyrion’s trial by combat, for those asking ☠️☠️☠️
jesus god my vagus nerve is absolute garbage my heart is still racing
thank god I have like 11 minutes to get it under control during the opening credits
serious question: is the series finale Sunday?
I don’t think this is gonna work out for me mathematically
Oh, it’s NEXT Sunday. Okay. I think I’m gonna make it.
fast forward through the credits and save six hours
Sam just promised not to die so Sam’s dead I guess
still not over the Mountain and the Viper tbqh
where’d the fucking giants come from??? Have there always been giants?
I feel like up to know I might have seen, like, ~uh~ giant
oh noooo
I have a bad feeling about something and I need to be wrong about it. This has been about 70% of the viewing experience since season 2.
Tormund out murdering crows when he needs to be murdering my pussy sorry not sorry
This raid on Castle Black action set piece is pretty dope, actually.
oh shit
it’s like raaaaaaain on your wedding day, Ygritte
aaaahahahahaa that anchor; I think I ~bleated~
hey heyyy, I *was* wrong! Yay!
(When that coward officer walked into the locked room with Sam’s woman in it I thought he might kill her out of shame. But he didn’t! )
Did these “Look inside the episode” bits air at the time?
I like how these dudes are just very transparently “look, do me a favor: this is how you feel about what you just saw and things will go better for you if you accept it. “
was not expecting Baratheons
Can I tell you something about this mostly bad show? The battles are legitimately ~great.~ Someone should try to take a castle every episode.
See, it would have been okay with me, better even, if Jamie would stop doing that with Cersei.
🎢 🎢 🎢 🎢
Dany...kind of sucks, y’all.
~Shitty~ Mother of dragons
we’ve come a long way with skeleton effects since Jason and the Argonauts
we seem to have a wizard in a tree situation developing here, which is definitely my cue to call it night
Brienne has a beautiful voice.
It’s just nice to listen to her talk.
Man, she and the Hound just *wrecked* each other’s shop.
Jamie comes through again!! IT’S A REAL ROLLERCOASTER WITH THIS GUY
oh no, though
oh my god oh my poor baby
Dinklage just dropped a two-word line delivery that made me say “oh no” out loud; he’s...astonishing?
oh damn
Fucking A
Well, that was season four. Joffrey dies, then a lot doesn’t happen, then a great trial, then the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and then the last two episodes are absolutely fantastic.
39 episodes between now and next Sunday, piece of cake!!
of course there’s something else I’m supposed to do for forty hours this week, but
sneaking conviction that Varys is going to be the one to fix all of this
Impossible to imagine that he won’t be disappointed in Danerys when he meets her.
“I’m not a politician, I’m a Queen” is just a very shitty thing to say.
Daerio is giving her such good advice, it’s just impossible for me to take him a bit seriously
people get religion and change their name and diet and we can’t stop talking about it for a decade but a king gets religion and starts setting people on fire and it’s just what we do now I guess
imagine how crazy that would be
“The Baratheons are the Kings, and they drink and whore and hunt, and now the Baratheons are still the Kings but they do sacrificial fire religion now”
George W. Bush becomes a Scientologist between terms
new rule: don’t do things Podrick says you shouldn’t do
Cersei is just, like, the worst person.
Bronn in his married, rich man clothes is very amusing.
There is a perfectly framed shot of Jamie fucking Lannister sitting on a low wall in a new leather coat kind of looking over her shoulder that is so lovingly shot and rock star hot that I burst out laughing.
I do wish he would grow his hair out
and stop fucking Cersei
Dany is such a fucking amateur, It’s pathetic.
ugh she makes me angry
Meanwhile Cersei really is out killing all the dwarfs in Westeros.
It is difficult not to believe that Cersei could pluck a dragon right out of the sky and slap Dany stupid with it.
oh, Tara Fitzgerald is a game of thrones; I just recognized her
it’s annoying that Stannis would probably be a pretty good ruler
just cannot with the magic and the fire sacrifices
fucking A Sam Tarley; I like this good boy
it’s wild to me that Arya only has four names on her list
I guess there have been more
Dany sucks.
She’s so bad at this.
this is some OG “the Iraqi people will welcome us as liberators” as a reconstruction plan horseshit; I’m starting to hate her
she does have a MUCH better personal guard than the Kings Guard
FYI I just redeemed 34 dollars of Papa John’s cash, I have just completely surrendered to this
lmao Margery, amazing work as always, but Cersei will eat your heart with barbecue sauce
Margrty fucking owns but this scene beginning with “Mother!” and “I wish we had some wine for you but it’s a bit early in the day for us,” is just hubris.
okay, listen, in my defense, I had ~heard~ that there was fisting, I wasn’t just making that up.
oh no
nobody tell me, because I want to look forward to it, but I hope things go very hard for Littlefinger
I cannot believe he’s going to give Sansa to the Bolton’s. I’m very upset.
just followed all these idiots on intstagram; I’m in too deep
it took 20 minutes
It seems crazy that any one was ever able to arrest Jagen H’gahr
Lord, but Sophie Turner has a face and carriage that was made to ascend.
I’ve completely turned around her, btw, everybody who was mad at me back in season one.
she could have been born in a pigpen and would still end up a Queen
oh DANG did NOT THINK Jon Snow would go through with it
Jonathan Pryce is a game of thrones!
Where is my sad and tortured Jorah? I need him.
oh noooooo
forget I asked
I cannot handle all my faves drunk and sad in a Meereen brothel
guys, listen
Jorah is my first, my treasure, but I simply cannot allow him to treat Tyrion like this. This is intolerable.
how do you think Cersei is doing it; is it just because she’s a beautiful woman
because the second Tywin died someone should have put her in a trashcan
She is like a fairy tale evil queen, but she doesn’t even have magic. It’s bullshit.
ohhhhhh what the fuck is happening here
for the first time in a long time I have no idea at all what’s happening
oh lmao oh good, GOOD. I’m an idiot. Cersei doesn’t need magic, she has religion.
ohhhh so this is what a High Sparrow is
gotta hand it to ‘me, watching this show is putting quite a few jokes of the past half decade into context
“Hodor,” and what not
oh noooooo
okay, I knew this happened, but I did not have the context, and this is WILDLY upsetting
I’m, like, upset with the writers and producers.
Jon Snow, I swear to god, if you fuck this woman I’m going to feed you into a wood chipper
Jamie and Bronn are a fun pair, but I suspect anybody and Bronn would be fun.
ha hahaha Jamie should have been part of a comedy pairing from the beginning
I mean, what on earth are they doing with him; literally the only thing wrong with him is he fucks his sister and he threw a little kid out of window
just those two little things
Danys is so bad at this it’s unreal.
I’m really very annoyed with her!
where do the Soms of the Harpy get these masks
if I was Queen of Mereen and had a hard time holding onto my throne I would simply make them stop selling masks
we are in a pretty bad stretch here
Danys fully sucks.
she’s Vlad Dracula but stupid; she’s the pits
we are in a very upsetting arc of this show
trough, I should say
I hate everything about how things are going
Ramsey Bolton is revolting.
oh shit
nothing’s happening
oh good, a laugh line; it’s been a minute
like obviously the guys who started this had no idea what they wanted god do with the characters except film them in big fights, but the writing really took a hit here in mid-season 5
Jamie and Bronn spin-off
Jamie and Bronn in the reboot of Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Christ this show is bad
huge respect to anybody who stopped watching in season five
Costumes also bad. They were just completely at sea for a while, huh?
oh, GOOD, I was worried for a second this season would just be boredom and Dany fucking up and Cersei on a rampage but I see they managed to squeeze in some rape
just awful
I was looking ahead at episode descriptions to get an idea of how hard I can ride the FF button and I saw a name that I swear to God I’ve never seen or heard in my life
In season FIVE
they will not stop making me learn new people
when are they going to set that lovely little girl on fire? Let’s bring it on and get it over with, since everything else going on also chugs nuts
oh, Sansa, honey
“umm, we’ve finished the books and we’ve got 40 more minutes in this episode”
“oh, ah, more rape? Or Theon could eat some more shit?”
“Why not both? And also a funeral for an old man we barely remember?”
maybe we can look at a skinned corpse in loving close up for three minutes
it’s a bad show and we’re all bad people
what in the fuck are these showrunners ~doing~ right now
You just, you don’t beat up *Sam.* it’s like killing a mockingbird.
I was rooting for him and Gilly, but they almost couldn’t have done ~that~ worse, too.
okay what the fuck
dagger poison
I thought for a second she had magic murder tits
what an unbelievably pack of nonsense
this writer’s room must have looked like a high school A/V club in 1986
this season was written by every dude that ever made me drop out of a D&D game
otoh Jorah is terminatoring an entire fighting tournament despite being kind of an old man, and I can only be in favor
man, I hope putting Tyrion in Danys field of vision is enough to get this train back on the tracks
Boltons gotta GO, Sparrows gotta go
I bet I can watch ten more episodes this weekend; the only way out is through
I *do* like Cersei in jail though
Peter Dinklage is so much more talented than almost everyone else in this show it’s basically comical?
Jorah is a stubborn man.
Tormund is a good negotiator.
Every time it really registers with me that one of the kings and armies in this show are a supernatural army of the undead I’m just blown away that it has dominated the pop culture conversation for eight years.
It’s seven warring kings, oh, and one has dragons, oh, and one has a fire pussy witch, oh, and one is zombies
The fights are so ~good~ though, even the zombie fights
wait what
I thought you could only kill them with, what do you call it, dragon glass
christ, that’s dumb
so, what, is Jon Snow’s sword magic
White Walkers legit scary? That’s a big army
Also giants are cool now. Update your spreadsheet accordingly.
I need Brienne to come pick Sansa up now. Enough is enough.
I am very, very, very, very, very upset about this setting a child on fire creative decision.
It’s, like, not even the first burned child in this show, but this is...insane?
We know her too well for this.
I think the writers should be arrested and put in jail.
I hope Davos kills Stannis Baratheon in his bed.
I also hope someone kills Dany’s scab boyfriend just to shut him up.
Jorah in the pit is like what Roger Moore James Bond should have been. He’s hanging tough, but he’s not young and he’s real slow and I am very aware of both things.
Nevertheless, he can bang me like a busted screen door.
Where are your DRAGONS, WOMAN???
Does she have no control over them at all? Not even a whistle or something?
ah! well,
just like the end of Grease, yah
Bran and Hodor found a wizard tree and then fell off the face of the earth ten episodes ago.
Sam & Jon are nice lads. I’m glad; I need this show to start getting good again.
Oh, in case I didn’t update you, I like Jon Snow now. Sorry, I’m middle-aged, I suspect most grandmas would like him as well.
Still not especially impressed with Kit Harrington, but the character is a strong boy with a good heart who is trying to do the right things.
Podrick is an excellent squire.
They just had no idea what they were doing for the first seven episodes of season 5 but they seem to be putting it back together now.
I bet Stannis feels pretty stupid he did that thing
never trust the Gods, Stannis, ain’t you ever read a book
The aerial shots are all so good.
I forgive Theon for absolutely nothing but that was good timing.
Arya, um, the training’s going well then?
I like how Bronn would be perfectly content to stay here and let these maenads try to murder him every night
Jamie what the fuck are you doing
what the fuck are you DOING
oh my god are you kidding me
Marcella what the fuck are YOU doing

plus OBVIOUSLY poison lipstick; men are so goddamn oblivious it’s unreal
[sighs very heavily]
Look, I guess I have to be glad Jamie had a nice moment with his daughter, but Jesus, gross, and also Cersei is going to ~kill~ you.
oh shit
Obviously Cersei is terrible but I can’t say I’m not looking forward to her wrecking the Sparrows’ shop.
I get very upset when I remember that Jamie has no idea at all this is happening.
It’s a weird choice to have her do this awful thing in full eye makeup.
This is dreadful.
I also have my suspicions that some of these extras are loving it. There’s always a few.
There was a real creep on the creative staff this season. Mark my words. this a Frankenstein
is there a Frankenstein in the show now
I hope Davos has a chance to kill the witch
So that was season 5. It was wretched.
Except Hardhome was maybe my favorite episode in the series so far.
And I guess Jon Snow is a zombie now? Because I know he was on the show last Sunday night but at the moment he is as dead as disco.
So how was the weather today? Pretty good?
Kinda into these Dorne furies
Max Von Sydow is a game of thrones
Tormund get under me
I’m delirious
guys, there’s a ~Frankenstein~
Cersei has a Frankenstein
is that what they’re going to do to Jon Snow
Varys has demonstrated a genuine love for fellow man and country and he has a truly ghastly history so the eunuch jokes are getting tiresome, especially coming out of Tyrion’s mouth. They are beneath him.
But not beneath the writers.
Dragons are looking better, I know it’s just me that all I hear is 🎵 neverendingstooooorrryyyyyyy 🎵
okay listen
I put up with a LOT but I will not put up with dogs eating a you know what
who has been nominated and/or won acting awards for this because I will tell you who should not
Is the red pussy witch this confusing in the books?
don’t know her name, eighteen years later still I do not know her name
She is a baffling character.
Jon Snow is the kind of zombie that’s okay, but wights are the kind of zombies that are not okay. Got it.
like Jesus
a little on the nose but sure
I’d be pretty embarrassed if the guy I murdered came back to life.
there needs to be a new rule for the Night Watch that says Sam gets to be in love and get married imo
My neighbors are probably very concerned that they’ve heard nothing but yellls and swords clanging for the last week.
Bran been warging out in a tree since season 4
is Littlefinger in a tree somewhere? where did THAT dude go
[wracks brain to remember if he got got and I forgot about it]
It’s lovely how everyone is rushing to assure me I didn’t miss it; I’d hate to *miss* it
holy shit I just now realized the Frankenstein is Gregor Clegane lmao
That was probably obvious, right?
Look, I’ve had a lot of Challenging Ideas thrown at me today.
had 100 percent forgotten Rickon and Osha existed
two and half fucking years ago
I am howling
Scab Daario actor continues to be participating in completely different television show.
I am livid that Ramsey Bolton has been around this long.
now who the fuck is THIS??
hey, y’all: I hate this guy
Jorah 💔
I could write 1600 words on the eyebrows in this show.
I must have dozed off at some point; I have no understanding whatsoever of who these fucking lady tree people are
how does anybody watch this show without ten different tabs open
this Hodor thing seems pretty glib
love to dramatically remove my cowl to reveal my face and see everyone stare blankly because they only saw me once for ten minutes in since S01E02
Are you trying to tell me after 56 fucking episodes that ~Ian McShane~ is a game of thrones???
Lady Tyrell is outstanding but I am going to go on and make the prediction that Cersei has NOT lost, #actually
they named the sea world documentary after this guy
this little girl running the Mormont estate fucking owns
it’s a relief to Cersei up out of the dumps
why even have a Frankenstein if you’re not going to get him to do stuff like that
now I need him to step on the cousin
No disrespect to Lena Headey when I say that her incredible face is doing a lot of the heavy lifting for her.
I had that face and I’d be queen of something, too.
goddammit Jamie
can I tell you something about Jamie Lannister

it’s a real rollercoaster with this guy
There is just no way not to look stupid riding a dragon, I’m sorry. This has been a challenge for me.
I feel like we have been in Slaver’s Bay for 400 years.
I hope Sansa gets to kill Ramsey.
I just want ANYONE to kill Ramsey.
Rickon’s dead, right. No way Ramsey didn’t kill Rickon.
I can’t believe zombie Jon Snow has the bald-faced nerve to talk to Sansa like this.
Here me out: Dany and Yara?
oh nooo
mother FUCK
this all seems very ill-advised tbqh
this is the most dead bodies I have ever seen and the music is really good too
oh shit
this is bugnuts
this is absolutely unreal
Tormund is not allowed to die until I get to see someone climb him like a jungle gym this is the law
oh, no 😢
well this is a mess
good puppy
The Battle of the Bastards is the wildest shit I have EVER seen
If I were to continue with S06E10 for the next hour it would be pretty annoying I bet
oh dang
lmao I cannot believe she’s still trying to care about Mereen; can we dump Scab Daerio and get the fuck OUT of here
this has been the dumbest storyline, and it’s lasted for ten years
wait is uncle Whosis a zombie
little girl from House Mormont should win the Iron Throne just my thoughts
There’s a new major antagonist, here in season SIX, that may or may not be named Urine.
Emilia Clarke’s lipliner is so bad on the boat I have to wonder is the crew was mad at her.
why so s e r i o u s
pretty cool knowing I’m going to catch up just in time to be as mad as you are all next week
Arya’s gone a little over the top, if I may be so bold
I’ve been trying to be a good sport but these Mission Impossible masks are kind of a big ask.
I mean, this is a fantasy show. Just do it with a spell or something.
Sansa is of course one hundred correct and every time he she speaks he looks pissed. I’m annoyed with him.
All of you are mad, and I’m just starting season seven. This makes me feel like this has been a pretty great use of my time!
Cersei’s wig is deeply evil.
It’s interesting that her eyebrows have gotten less evil as her hair has gotten more evil.
Meanwhile Jamie’s haircut has been a criminal crime ever since Brienne brought him back.
are we sure Euron Greyjoy is English
he looks like he steals copper wiring and fences it at a flea market that sells “WWII memorabilia” out the back
LMaoooooo I forgot about Ed Sheeran
he’s just fine, I only knew the fact that he was in this for a minute, and I had forgotten.
there are people that are SO MAD about tonight’s episode
The Hound continues to puzzle me.
oh, noooooo
This is one hell of a council Dany has assembled here.
I can’t even remember who currently has custody of Casterly Rock.
sorry that I’m so unbelievably tacky but show us Grey Worm’s goods or gtfo
okay, you know that I love him, he is my treasure, but in fairness I have to acknowledge that Ser Jorah also behaves as if he is in a completely different television series, or perhaps a fine film or stage play
he floats above it like a cloud, says I
this cut from dragonscale to pot pie is absolutely disgusting; I could not be more delighted
Something deeply strange just happened to Kit Harrington’s accent.
His consonants melted.
The Greyjoy sigil is a uterus with long Fallopian tubes.
Euron really shaping up to be the crystal meth tattoo shop habitué of the series
oh god I loathe this man
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