, 7 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/… I appreciate the point, that it’s ridiculous that men get kudos for being half as good as women. But I also must point out that brow-beating and nagging is also work, and telling women to do more of it adds to women’s unfair work load.
The reason women do more work is simple: Men force them into a binary choice. You either a) do the work all by yourself or b) nag him. Most of the time, A, while exhausting, is less exhausting than B, which makes you miserable as well as tired.
In addition, men punish women for nagging. They withhold affection, mock women, and in worst case scenarios, abuse them. This is why I call it the “nagging differential” and it is, in my opinion, the main reason domestic labor differences persist.
The problem here is a sticky one: The only way to get men to do their fair share is for men to choose it themselves. Otherwise, most women will pick “fine, I’ll do it all myself” over “I will spend my time and energy on the miserable task of nagging”.
And why should men self-motivate to do more chores? They don’t have to and most have ready-made excuses for why they force their wives to do it. “It means more to her.” “I work harder and make more money.” “She’s better at it.”
So women say, “Well, it could be worse. So I’m grateful,” because they are trying to cope with a problem that has no real solution. Men aren’t going to get better unless forced. Women don’t have the energy to force. So here we are.
Readers will note there is option number 3: Don’t be married. You will note that is increasingly popular. observer.com/2018/01/more-a…
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