, 12 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
having a fun evening imagining jabba the hutt as one of those weed dealers we used to have where you would have to go to their fucked up living room to buy and a bunch of their friends were just around
ME: okay great well i dont want to ruin the party so ill just
JABBA: eeeee craw NEEEEE taaaahhh *gestures to his gross bong*
ME: ah ha great man, sure *breaks off the tiniest crumb of weed* using, uh, your piece?
*the fucking three eye goat dude is talking to me*
ME: oh for sure. no i havent listened to that podcast but ill....i will
*Jabba is shotgunning weed smoke into salacious crumbs horrible ears*
ME: ah ha okay. is he....is that cool? can he do that. is it cool to do that to him
*that weird twileck guy is just staring at the back of my head*
ME: ah hey man. hey. how are....having a good, uh, time?
in this scenario the rancor is a ferret but the rancor keeper is still a shirtless guy
I’m trying to leave but Bossk is showing me all of his knives and shit
THE LITTLE BAT GUY: jesus, you were at jabbas the whole time?
ME: oh my god you have no idea. he asked me if i was going to sleep there like it would be normal. they finished watching boondock saints and then just fucking started it up again
Holy shit someone please pay me to write a canon story about the devil guy the bat guy and the manatee/tree guy from mos eisley cantina breaking into jabbas palace the day after he dies to try to find his ornate wooden box full of weed
Imagine going to buy and talking to a gammorrean guard and being like, he’s not HERE? what do you mean, he’s always here. he’s throwing a jedi into the sarlacc? jesus, well, okay. did he say when he was going to come back?
there’s a big explosion in the distance and three minutes later people are ripping down the curtains and shit and running out the front door. theres a line of sand crawlers coming from the east and a line of banthas from the west
sneaking out while dragging one of those shitty black walmart safes and there’s jawas trying to tackle those spider-brain-robot things to the ground and get restraining bolts on them
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