I bawled my eyes out during the entire @thedilleyshow scope. @realhublife spoke the absolute truth . This is extremely hard, but here is my abortion story. 😞
At the age of 19, I got pregnant with my high school boyfriend. Our families were upset & demanded that we get married to make things right. We did, and at the age of 20, we had a beautiful girl. My husband and I were young & immature.
He was was also abusive & controlling. Three months after our daughter was born, I left him & filed for divorce. One week later, I found out that I was pregnant. It knocked the wind out of me. I was petrified. I was single & broke with a 3 month old baby.
We went to Planned Parenthood & they cheerily suggested an abortion while we both sat there crying, faced with the heaviest & hardest decision we could possibly make. We made the wrong decision. She told us that it would be twelve hundred dollars & the..
..clinic was 3 hours away. A week later, we lied to our parents, telling them we needed to talk about our divorce & run errands for the day. We didn’t say one word to each other the entire ride. We arrived to a clinic with a waiting room full of young..
..girls w/ parents, some adult women & some adult couples. They make you have an ultrasound, to see if the baby has a heartbeat. They don’t allow you to look at the screen (so you won’t change your mind) My baby had a heartbeat. I couldn’t breathe.
Then they take the women into another room, separate from loved ones/partners, gave us each a Valium to relax, & then we just sat nervously until they called our name. Some of the girls/women started sharing why they were there.
One white woman was secretly having one without her husband knowing, because she cheated on him with a black man. Another girl in her mid 20’s was shockingly in a good mood & proceeded to tell us that this was her NINTH abortion. Ninth!? I had to go throw up.
Eventually, my name was called. I was taken into a plain & sterile room where I was taken to a table & put in stirrups. I was shaking so badly, that the doc said with a smile “Relax! You’re only 5 weeks along. This will be super easy!”
He then turned on a very loud machine & told me that it was basically like a vacuum. He inserted what looked like a large plastic straw and I heard horrible suction noises for a few minutes. That was it. My baby was dead. They gave me a large pad..
..for the bleeding, and said goodbye. I walked out to the main lobby & my husband sheepishly looked at me & asked if I was ok. I said no. I sat numb & silent the 3 hours home. I felt like a shell of a person. I was in shock. It was surreal.
When I arrived at my house & picked up my 3 month old daughter, in pain & bleeding, I scooped her up, silently apologized to her, for killing her sibling, & then I shut down. I buried it away & vowed to never think about it.
Apparently my subconscious didn’t forget. About 5 months later, I thought I felt a baby move inside me. I went to Planned Parenthood to take a pregnancy test, to see if the baby was still in there. I felt distraught when it was negative. It was my..
..subconscious guilt! I had hoped that the abortion failed. I somehow moved on & ignored the entire thing. Fast forward 10 years, with three beautiful children, out of nowhere, it dropped on me like a bomb: I had killed my child. I would look at my 3 kids &..
..feel unspeakable & well deserved guilt. Like @realhublife was saying, you absolutely get PTSD from having an abortion. It doesn’t happen at first. Years later, after you mature, it will be there. It’s a guarantee. There isn’t a day that goes by, where I..
..think of my baby. I feel like shit. I’m a monster. I don’t know how to fix it. I can’t. I have been crying every day for the last several weeks. I’m 42 & I’m just now dealing with it. We need to #SaveTheBabies. The #AlabamaAbortionBill is a..
..great start. We are at war. We have to win this fight for the babies. I’m fighting in honor of my baby. I’m so distraught & pray that I can be forgiven. I’m trying to make things right. Thank you @realhublife for sharing your wisdom about this..
..you couldn’t be more correct. God is using you to help reach people & I’m truly grateful. God bless you and your family. 🙏🏻 #SaveTheBabies
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