, 34 tweets, 20 min read Read on Twitter
If you’re not a fan of #Eurovision, please look away now, as I will be wittering about it for the next… *checks watch* oh God.
If Goatse did set design for #Eurovision #ALB
Shawn Mendes has been at the cooking sherry again #Eurovision #CZE
Really want to know which moisturiser Kate Thornton is using these days. #Eurovision #DEU
“Paint me like one of your Russian dentists.” #Eurovision #RUS
When you buy a chair off ASOS #Eurovision #DNK
The Bananarama reunion took an unexpected turn. #Eurovision #SMR
See you in San Marino in 2020 then! #Eurovision #SMR
All Ian Beale’s wives have merged to become one person. #Eurovision #MKD
“He’s nearer >>>>>>>>” #Eurovision
Nice to see Nat and Georgia Simpson are still together #Eurovision #SVN
“Fuck, did you turn the iron off?” #Eurovision #SVN
Madonna’s on early!!! #Eurovision #CYP
Suranne Jones if she got divorced, went blond, and cleaned out Lipsy. #Eurovision #CYP
Adam Levine loses everything and ends up playing piano at the Planetarium #Eurovision #NLD
Marina and the Diamoniques #Eurovision #GRC
Sommeliers’ show choir meets every Thursday in the wine bar behind Victoria Station #Eurovision #ISR
I bet that jacket actually looked nice from right over the other side of Zara #Eurovision #NOR
Sigue Sigue Spud-U-Like #Eurovision #ISL
Steve, 25, Nissan Micra, girlfriend is doing her A-levels next year. #Eurovision #EST
When you remember *exactly* who gave you that gonorrhoea on holiday. #Eurovision #CHE
Jenna Moroney keeping it low-key for a trip to the shops. #Eurovision #AUS
Coco Chanel always said to take off one piece of jewellery before you leave the house; Verka actually had the kitchen sink on earlier. #Eurovision
BREAKING: Madonna still very much Madonna. #Eurovision
I loathe you
Won’t get you get out my brain
Whatever you thought of Madonna’s performance, try criticising it without being ageist or demanding she immediately retire. #Eurovision
I preferred the jury results in the 80s when they were delivered over a bad line through a potato. #Eurovision
The juries preferring Serhat to the UK is… very much like gargling a naked flame. #Eurovision.
Some of these results are quite SHOCKING. #Eurovision
Well that’s it for another year! Thank you for staying with me! #Eurovision
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