It’s a... challenging feeling. To know that all the Christian relationships you’ve had for past 17 years have been largely superficial. That out of 17 years of being a Christian; only past 2 years has consisted of building genuine relationships. This reality punches sometimes.
My wife & I talk abt fact we both left communities (wife disowned) for Christ on promise we’d inherit community greater. I’ve had deeper community as a Crip & Vy as Catholic. If we didn’t have a global/historical view of The Faith; we’d be undone. Evangelicalism isn’t THE church.
We were talking abt it over dinner a few days ago. From our experience; many leave Christianity b/c they’ve been discipled to believe Evangelicalism is Xianity’s Only faith expression. So when they’ve been profoundly wounded by that tradition; they interpret it as “The Church”.
When Christians are led to believe that one faith tradition/expression is the ONLY faithful one; when that one tradition fails them they will feel and believe that Christ has failed them & that Jesus’ bride itself is its enemy & not friend. Jesus’ bride is vast & beautiful tho.
This is one of the problems with the American Christian mind; we think we (Americans) represent the best of Christ’s Bride. Truth is, we make up a small fraction of the global church. The vast majority of Christ’s bride knows persecution, struggle, & community. We must de-center.
Part of spiritual abuse/trauma healing must include (not always but often) broadening mind of the wounded so they can come to terms with the fact that what they’ve experienced is not Christ’s intent but rather the actions of sinful people who in their sin don’t represent bride.
This is especially true of white Christians who’ve belonged to Evangelicalism. Often, white Christians who’ve been in evangelicalism & wounded still hold onto a very white American centered view of faith. They will leave church or embrace heterodoxy B4 looking beyond whiteness.
For Christians of color who have been wounded in evangelical spaces; it is also essential for them to understand that the space they were wounded in was not “The Church” but only one of many expressions of it. “The Church” didn’t fail them, a church or a tradition did.
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