I have an #Exvangelical thread, but it requires some background info: Every day, people message me about ADHD. It's the most common mental illness AND the most debilitating of the "outpatient" mental illnesses. MAJOR breakthroughs have been made in treating & understanding this
illness, but they haven't filtered into the regular family medical practices yet. There's also a SHIT-TON of online misinformation. People who would exploit desperate families for $$, have agendas of their own, etc
As someone who DAILY lives in this space, w/this disorder, AND
5 other people who have it, AND is a writer w/experience breaking complex concepts down into digestible chunks, AND who won a fucking "favorite Adult ADHD blog" award from THE national magazine on ADHD for laypeople, (ADDitude) and who has been trained and mentored by THE best
ADHD advocate in the field (Gina Pera), I am uniquely qualified to help people get this information.
You know what that means?
It means educating people.
Every. Damn. Day.
If I say, "I'm not Google," then that means the people who come to me for info, who are OPEN to learning,
will be SENT to Google, where they will encounter crap like "ADHD isn't real" or "French kids don't have ADHD." (Which was REALLY FUCKING FUNNY when my friend who moved to FRANCE called me from FRANCE bc her two ADHD sons couldn't get treatment. 😔)
Do you have time or energy or knowledge or background or training or lived experience like I do? Or are you able to put in the work to get it?
Or do you have TIME to put in 10+ years to get the experience in this field that I do?
No.
Of COURSE you don't.
If I send a desperate person to GOOGLE, after they CAME TO ME being open and willing and needing help, and they get crappy info, that has the potential to change the next TEN YEARS of their life, or more, bc they didn't get good treatment. And as Tony Stark said: "That's on me."
So I take issue with something:
I take issue with people in any fucking category of human, who approach people asking questions in GOOD FAITH, and saying, "It's not my job to educate you."
I take issue with ANYONE who approaches another person who is CLEARLY not a member of a category of human, and expects them to know detailed intricacies about another category of human that they've had VERY limited exposure to.
I take issue with ANYONE who treats someone with honest questions or even honest IGNORANCE about a "category of human" as if THE PERSON WITH THE QUESTION is a part of the problem for approaching a fucking public expert, who built a PLATFORM on that expertise.
Do I expect you to know the difference between the OROS delivery system of methylphenidate medication and a generic? Do I expect you to know WHY you should know? Do I expect you to care? Then why should someone expect Jamie Lee Fucking Finch to know about a branch of theology
specific to black Christians when she's neither black nor Christian? Do you think Jamie Lee Fucking Finch woke up one morning and said, "Gee, let me piss off black Christians today!"
No.
She's been an ALLY.
If she MISSED something, she deserved the fucking courtesy of kindness.
Jamie Lee Fucking Finch DID NOT deserve to be treated like an oppressor EVEN IF SHE BELIEVED SOMETHING TAUGHT BY ONE, because ANYONE with a brain knows that she works to set captives free. Sexually, yes, but oppression IN GENERAL is the farthest thing from her heart & mind.
So, if you have info that SHE DIDN'T HAVE, it is absofuckinglutely YOUR JOB to share it with kindness. That's not oppression--that's being a kind human being. "But I don't have time!" then send her a link! "But I don't know her." So? You think the 1000 ppl who message me abt ADHD
know me?
JLF is only one example. But you know and I know she's not the only one. She's just the example who made me GAG as I watched a community I care about cancel someone for not knowing what she didn't know.
So now we have the #MagdaleneCollective.
And aside from ANYTHING they said (which yes, I have opinions about) they're getting trampled on for being TRANS PHOBIC?
People.
DID YOU REALLY just go up to a group of women and transfolk who are TRYING TO GET YOU HEARD and attack their fucking word choices? PUBLICLY?
Did you go to a bunch of ALLIES and piss on them for not being allies the way YOU think they should be allies, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE TRANS AND EMBY PPL? HOW DOES THIS HELP YOU?
HOW DOES THIS HELP ANYONE?
Are you REALLY saying, "Oh but I'm the oppressed person and they should learn everything I learned after living this way for 45 years even though it doesn't apply to them and they have lives and kids and groceries to buy."
You literally went up to an ALLY and slapped their face.
Allies are human, and get shit wrong. They DO NOT DESERVE to be treated as OPPRESSORS for getting hit wrong.
You want someone to LISTEN to you? To pass the MICROPHONE to you? While you're being a BONA FIDE ASSHOLE?
So, I'm going to say that when I'M THE EXPERT, I fully expect and WELCOME people's questions and mistakes.
Mistakes mean they're growing. They may be HURTING. (And some brilliant person that I'm not GOOGLING right now bc it's NOT THE POINT said) "When you give up privilege it feels like oppression."
People who are VOLUNTARILY givi g up privilege bc it's the RIGHT THING TO DO are
already deeply uncomfortable in a space they don't know how to navigate and WILL MAKE MISTAKES.
If you don't have the patience and maturity to deal with someone making mistakes in a space they're unfamiliar with, I TRULY don't see why I should trust you to be any kind of representative for your group of humans.
And is this emotionally draining? Is it labor? Is it hard fucking work? YES IT IS! But after living with a group of ADHD people for the last 15 years, and having it myself for 39, I know the FREEDOM that is about to happen for the person who has messaged me. I WANT THAT FOR THEM.
I send them TRUSTED resources. I tell them WHAT TO LOOK FOR. I share COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS. I let them know WHAT OBSTACLES to expect. Because in case my anonymous avatar from a 20+ yr old show didn't GIVE IT AWAY, I'm not in this for fame.
If you're working to liberate a group of people, their freedom is your success.
I'm not saying money and recognition doesn't matter.
In fact
I'LL BE HAPPY TO DM YOU MY PAYPAL.
But if you attack allies, your group of humans will never have the resources or support to be free.
I want you to be free. I'm #Exvangelical because I want you to be free. But with freedom comes responsibility, and THE NECESSITY of caring, learning to properly engage in conflict, vulnerability, caring for others, & maturity. I fucking care too much abt you to NOT SAY THIS. /fin
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