, 11 tweets, 4 min read Read on Twitter
“For a lot of white people, the mere suggestion that being white has meaning will cause great umbrage. And I think of it as a kind of weaponized defensiveness.”

tolerance.org/magazine/summe…
“Weaponized tears. Weaponized hurt feelings. And in that way, I think white fragility actually functions as a kind of white racial bullying.”
That part ☝🏾 reminds me of a quote from Mia McKenzie on the socialization of white people. She says that white men are socialized to think everyone cares what they have to say & white women are socialized to think everyone cares how they FEEL.
”POC working and living in primarily white environments take home way more daily indignities and slights and microaggressions than they bother talking to us about because their experience consistently is that it’s not going to go well.”

She’s right. We DON’T tell everything.
In every room I’m in we create these guidelines.

And every single time a white person will try to add “assume good intentions” to that list.

We don’t let them. We CANNOT assume every white person has done the identity work for that to make it in the guidelines.
And often? They tell on themselves sometime later. If white tears show up, I hand it off to my white co-facilitator. That’s their work.

Not mine.

I can listen to them while crying but I won’t offer the comfort that demands. It’s my self-care.
The feelings of white women as praxis just can’t land in this space. Do you know how many ww tell me they’ve cried to get out of a speeding ticket? Or work related functions?

The avoidance of work comes with those tears and I won’t let them off the hook if they weaponize that.
Another thing I won’t allow in my space: to be weaponized against my Black brothers & sisters.

Trust me: people TRY to drive that wedge between us. “But Don’t Black women have it worse?” or some such nonsense.

I’m not about to play Oppression Olympics. (w/ any POC group, rly)
This part about emotional stamina brings me back to grit. Especially in schools where Ts assume Ss need more of it.

Nah, fam.

Do your own work first.
I would say more here on the ways we all get socialized for this maintenance but I won’t.

You’ll have to hire me for that.

This here is the only teaching I’ll do for free.

But if you’re serious about dismantling & ready to work?
Why won’t I do more for free? Because I’ve seen some of y’all outright steal my work and monetize it.

I watch #edutwitter do this. Just out here snatching folx work.
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