Bi erasure: erasing bi identity in history, society, academics, our self

Stems from idea bi people are gay or straight, confused, slutty

Underlying assumption: being attracted to both genders in whatever ratio is impossible

I only been with men
I'm attracted to women too

At 6 y/o, my BFF & I were playing with our dolls, pretending they're our babies, I said: "we can both be the moms, we can pretend we're married"

Her mom was observing & said: "1 is the mom & 1 is the dad"

My response: "it's ok to like boys & girls"

She called me a tomboy

She called me a tomboy but a more derogatory word in Spanish, I had no idea what that was

Basically she called me a dyke

I didn't understand at the time why was it strange to adults I liked boys & girls

As I grew up, I was told homosexuality is a sin

I was boy crazy, so

So as I got older & figured out there are people who like both sexes called bisexuals, I thought hmm, that couldn't be me, I was a teen, I had only had boyfriends, but did think of women & immediately would suppress those thoughts & wonder, if I'm so into dudes, I'm not bi

In my 20s I still had those thoughts but again I was in a few long term relationships with men only, so I kept burying that part of me that's attracted to women, that's what bi erasure is exactly, I was willing to die in denial that I'm a bi woman

In my late 20s I got married, had 3 beautiful kids, still had those thoughts, the father of my kids & every ex boyfriend said they knew I'm bi & that they were ok with that, I always said no, I'm not

I didn't admit to myself til in recent months that I am bi, I felt free

The father of my kids was the 1st person I told, he's been understanding, supportive, he's happy I finally embrace all of me

I never been with a woman, people assume I can't be bi if I never been with a woman
Sexual orientation is who you are, how you feel, not what you do

One more reason I never pursued how I feel is cause I have never really been attracted to any of my friends because I see them as sisters, I only been attracted to platonic women, actresses, models, musicians, etc

People think is about sexual attraction but like with men, its a lot more than that, you're attracted to their intellect, their heart, their soul

Being bi is being able to love someone regardless of their gender

This isn't easy for me but as an activist I have to speak up

I been debating if I should remain secretly bi, only let my close friends know or just be 100% open about it to give courage to others like me who live a repressed life to make others happy while they're unhappy

I am the same person, just openly being my true self at last

I'm done repressing myself to make society happy, my parents, people I know IRL

Sorry if this offends anyone

Haven't told my parents
I'm sure they always knew, sure my close friends knew, just as I knew & tried to erase that part of me

I'm bi 💗💜💙
Now I feel liberated


I wrote this thread about biphobia & bi erasure a few months ago.

This explains why it's so important to be vocal & why #BiVisibility is vital.

And one of the reasons I went public after a lot of soul searching.


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