.....or IS IT????
H: "So how'd it go?"
T:"Yeah dude we're fine, here's the after action reports, oh and by the way, Masamune's the one who got this rebellion started in the first place."
H:"....the FUCK you say??"
Hearts and stars,
*dun dun DUNNNNNNNNN*
So why should he care about some uppity peasant from Owari?
But remember the words of the Bob Dorough song: "Baby you can't look bad, long as you're lookin good~"
So he trolls Hideyoshi
Hideyoshi takes his meaning. "I'm ready to die-- are you ready to kill me, *punk*??"
FAST FORWARD TO A YEAR LATER, IN KYOTO, AFTER THE KASAI-OSAKI UPRISING...
Ujisato:"where is he??"
Hideyoshi:"that fucker better show his ass..."
*conch shell fanfare* behold, here cometh the Date clan army--
Hideyoshi: *squints* "....Oh you little SHIT."
Crucifixion is something Hideyoshi ordered routinely, mind you. And Masamune is used to doing things in STYYYYLE.
So that morning in Kyoto, he sent another message: "I'mma die in style, so crucify me, fucker, I dare you."
So they go up to have them a little confab, because you don't have someone haul ass all the way from Japanese Appalachia for nothing, dammit.
Hideyoshi is fuming.
Ujisato is stewing.
Masamune: "Sire Gamo, verily it hath been far too lont since last we spake!"
Hideyoshi" *brandishes the letter* "CUT THE SHIT AND EXPLAIN THIS."
Ujisato: "...I can't believe this shit, THE IMPERTINENCE!!"
Hideyoshi: "He's dead anyway, lets humor him."
So Hideyoshi has some ink and paper and a brush brought in.
Masamune: So you see, clearly SOOOOOOMEBODY has it in for me because SOOOOMEBODY gave you a fake. The bird in this letter doesn't have the pinhole."
An attendant takes the letter back up. Hideyoshi squints intensely at it.
Masamune: *smiles beatifically*
Masamune: *grins evilly at Ujisato*
Hideyoshi: "Alright, alright, we're good. But no more tricks, kid, or your ass is REALLY toast."
They laid down conditions. Masamune had to be in Kyoto part of the year, and his wife had to live there permanent
Masamune, though, well...
The world is at peace now, and I've grown old.
Since I've been spared, why not enjoy myself?
Surely Heaven will permit it!"
Why not *indeed*.
🎵"Baby you can't look bad, long as you're lookin' good."
I'm Nyri, and this has been a #drunjhistory.