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I carried a knife around for about 2 weeks in my life, why? Because of some short lived PTSD and a traumatic hood story where I thought I was going to die outside Gala bingo because I decided to go and see my ex and was led into an ambush when I was 16, let me tell you the story
Its first year college, I had a new girl friend and had actually broken up with my ex around 8 months prior, the break up was kind of messy because she told me she still liked her ex and was kinda mean so I cut her off after weeks of not knowing my worth, her bestie was not happy
She called my phone days after the break up and was like "why you breaking my besties heart" blah blah black sheep! I wasn't trying to hear it so I told her to suck out, and she said the words that can trigger any hood man "I will get my man on you ya kna" HA Bet! Bitch
Now her man was new to my ends at the time, whereas I was very popular in the area and already establish a solid gang which I was only now starting to distance from because I was attending 6th form full time out of the ends in Havering so no time to be on road like before
But I still thought to myself bruuuv I know your man and he is no one in these parts, please don't do this, so I told her "your man is a wasteman round here and he aint touching no one" she was like cool you said that yeah thats in like October, anyway forward to Spring now...
My ex calls me on a random one saying that she still cares about me and wants to see me to give me back my Just Do It bag (the blue and grey one). Me like a fool said yes cause 1) I liked that bag 2) I slyly wanted to see her (yes it was scum but I was young)
So I go link her now and we are talking in the park by my house, it was bare cute and kind of like old times. I tell her about how her bestie called me after we broke up and was riding for her and we laugh about it, 8pm hits so its time to drop her home, so I walk her bus stop
We get to the main road now and I see her best friend waiting at the bus stop across the road with her man, this is where I should have ran tbh but although I was small and skinny I was extremely arrogant and had bare hood XP, no way I am running from one guy, impossible
So I walk across the road to them and he grabs me and pushes me up against the gate, and we are just gripsing each other up, no punches thrown after a while we get tired and start talking, our girls (well my ex) are just watching, he was like why you calling me a pussy
So I start explaining the situation slyly admitting guilt but still not letting my pride get touched, like yeah I called you a pussy cause your girl was chatting shit, even though I don't know you, you're not a guy like that round here, he started saying ahhh I just moved here
True! But you are no one thus far and it is what it is, I was winning the psychological/verbal battle, letting him know I am ready for anything tbh, I am growing more confident that I am safe and he actually starts being calm and cool about it we were all laughing
Then the bus pulls up and his phone rings, he's like "yeah we're here". I immediately go into defence mode and pull out a gun. OK that is a lie but basically I knew that this situation just got extremely sticky, I see like 5 of his boys get off the bus, I am sweating adrenaline
So then they come and ask me what the problem is, the story gets explained again but this time I am speaking a very different language, I had developed a stutter and amnesia very quickly, one of them who was obviously the leader was just questioning everything I was saying
The girls are still watching and then my ex starts crying saying "allow it, allow it" followed by the guys tag name, I was like raah she actually knows him and he had those unique one word tag names that can inject fear into any man,
I'm thinking why is she sooo hysterical this guy is obviously a threat to the community, I start to get even more shook after calculating this rationale in my head, that alongside the combination of him mugging me off after every sentence, he has interrogated hood man before!
Anyway he says I need to apologise in 10 seconds otherwise I am done out, and then he starts counting, I hear my ex's bestie chuckle, my pride is bruise like "raaaaah you're actually counting you know", he gets to 7 and I am saying anything to stop this except saying sorry
By 2 (It was probably, definitely 4), I swallowed my pride and the vomit in my mouth and apologised and then I thought cool at least its done, the guy goes "good, good" then turns to his boy and goes "what should we do with him?" the other man just watching like hounds
His boy was actually honourable, he said "his apologised, leave him be." Then the main guy was like naaah you shouldn't have spoke fam and then just punched me in the face, I dropped straight to the floor blacked out for like a second and then they all start to rush me
At first I tried to fight back but the beatings were just getting more and more intense, then one of them pulls out a knife (weaponry was less dangerous then than it is now) and starts waving it about like an amateur and slash me right above the eye, I can hear my ex screaming
Then I just tried to run and escape my nokia 6310 dropped out my pocket which distracted a few of them and I made a run for it, straight into Mac Ds on the high street then round the back roads to my house, I even forgot my ex existed, my pride tank was empty
At home I see my Dad and told him a lie, he could see the cut above my eye and my face was swollen but didn't even get into it, he bought the lie happily, told my girl a semi-lie, I told my older bro and he met up with my ex who had collected my sim card for me at least
I couldn't leave the house to collect it myself, cause I was too shaken up for days after and I didn't trust her at all! Wait what was the purpose of this story again? Ooo yeah why I started carrying a knife yeah well after that I was not leaving my house unarmed again
I carried a knife around for like 2 weeks before I thought naah this is mad if I get searched, so then my boy told me just take scissors instead, so I rolled around with scissors for a few days and then got into some passa on the bus where I nearly used them
And then I thought to myself yeah I cannot be rolling with this cause I will defo use it and do some damage that I do not plan to do but yeah it just shows you the reason why some may carry a knife and what can entice someone to put it down
I was not a bad hearted kid but carried a knife cause of PTSD that was short lived but felt very intense, it was tied to the area I lived, tied to that time of night, tied to that season, tied to that respective demographic, even the gala bingo logo bugged me out for a year
Couples thing you're wondering: Did my ex set me up? Not Sure! Did I get the bag? Nope! Did I continue talking to my ex? As friends! Did I see the guys again? The main guy started my college months later ☹️! Did I retaliate? No! How did I get over it? Time without incidents
I feel like I didnt even round this thread off properly (i was tired) basically now I helped with the #knifefree campaign which basically aims to get people to put down a knife, sometimes no need for the propaganda all someone needs is an in and out story that is relatable
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