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One thing we’ve learned from the controversy surrounding SSA, that I don’t think many intended to learn, is how undeveloped evangelicals understanding of “attraction” is. For many, attraction = lust.

This demonstrates why so many men MUST practice the Billy Graham rule.
Within an evangelical theopraxi framework, men cannot engage with “attractive” women b/c their attraction to them is synonymous with a “lusting after” them. To be attracted to is to lust after. The concept of Attraction is hyper-sexualized & it becomes a yoke on consciences.
Within Evangelical conceptions of attraction; it’s A-Z with no variables in the middle. If a Christian finds a person “attractive”, they need to stay far away from them or at best make sure others are around when they engage. The sexualization of “attraction” leads to problems...
So, play thisnoot a little. Forgive me, I’m going to be a little blunt hear, we are all adults.

If a person says they struggle with SSA, it is assumed they struggle with wanting to have sex w/ people of the opposite sex and are therefore sinning in their thought life.
This assumption requires one to assume the only form of attraction one can have for another is sexual, and that logic births all kinds of problematic relational dynamics. “Attraction” is a complex reality & has way more angles than physical appeal or sexual desire.
Let me break this down even further...

You do not have a friend you are not “attracted to”. You are “attracted to” all of your friends both male and female. If that statement conjures a up disgust, it is b/c you have a truncated conception of “attraction”....
Within every person you are friends with, there is something “attractive” about that person that has led you to desire to build relationally with them. And in almost every scenario, the attraction is not sexual but rooted in something non-sexual or even physical...
We do NOT serve SSA Christians by assuming their struggle is sexual. That is a massive leap & not one rooted in I Corinthians 13 love. To be SSA means that their is an inclination or allure one has for same sex that if nurtured can lead to unhealthy & even sinful expressions...
We are all sinners and b/c of that all struggle w/ the propensity to cultivate unhealthy relationships due to misplaced “attraction”.

However, this ruling assumption that SSA is synonymous with sin/sexual desire, imo, says more abt assumes than many of the assumed upon....
Either, the church must forbid all relationships predicated on “attraction” in which case there will be no friendships in the church and definitely no platonic relationships where one or both parties find other physically attractive; Attractive people are cursed to be lonely.

OR
The whole issue concerning “attraction” and sin is way more complex than fundamentalist/evangelicals believe and instead of generalizing & assuming upon faith family; we must do the hard work of engaging w/ nuance and care & not just to conclusions or anathematize believers.
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