, 6 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Woke up this morning and the 3 asshole squirrels were BACK ... to be honest, I was a little relieved at first to see them. Sure, they're annoying AF but I didn't want them to have been killed when my neighbor took down all their trees.

But then I remembered they're assholes.
And those assholes were sitting on TOP OF ALL THREE FEEDERS - one on each. Now, I know I tend to be a tad dramatic about these furry little bastards but I swear the biggest asshole squirrel grinned when he saw me peering out from my patio.

He may have flipped me off.

Not sure.
I calmly walked back into the kitchen and grabbed my handy dandy PAM, in 'butter' flavor because my birdies seem to prefer it. As soon as I opened the door from the patio two squirrels dropped and ran up the trees, the third dropped and ran head first into our new fence.

Oh yeah, we have a new fence, remember? Well, dumbass didn't seem to understand that the fence was like RIGHT THERE ... it was glorious. After running into the fence numbnuts bolted left, then he bolted right, then he stopped and glared at me.

I laughed. Maniacally.
Ok, so he may not have actually glared but I totally laughed. I took a step toward him and that's when he turned around and actually LOOKED at the fence. Then just like that he was up the fence and in the tree staring at me.

Pretty sure he was glaring this time.

I smiled.
And never broke eye contact w/the fuzzy little thug as I sprayed each pole w/PAM. Then I sprayed the tops of the feeders & the sides - he never moved once.

I waved (yup, I've lost it) and came back in to work for the day.

The war apparently continues.
Foo: 6
Asshole squirrels:5
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