, 14 tweets, 6 min read Read on Twitter
A very wise woman once told me "You will never have to choose between loving God and loving people. But you might have to choose between loving people and loving tidy theological systems."

I hate being reminded how many people choose the theology.
I've been engaging a lot with Catholic twitter, for a number of reasons, a good bit lately; there's been the bitter disappointment of seeing more and more, with outsider eyes, how much the Church, as a movement, has been hijacked by Cruelty Is The Point conservatives.
(credit for the quote goes to @SnapPopCrackle)
@SnapPopCrackle I left the Church because I felt, fundamentally, that I wasn't welcome; the Church's perpetual panic over the mere existence of gay people being gay inspired little confidence that they'd ever be cool with trans folk. And I'm not just talking institutionally, or about Francis.
@SnapPopCrackle I used to live and breathe the Catholic internet, pinging around blogs and forums and on and on and on. And I watched, as 2014 and 2015 unrolled, the strange confluence of me coming to terms with my queerness during a full-throated assault against trans people in the Church.
@SnapPopCrackle SIDEBAR: People who want to attack religion *as such* in this thread, please do so elsewhere. You are not helping. This is not the place.
@SnapPopCrackle Honestly, even in the bastions of sanity I see within the church, particularly @chezami and his little band of faithful rebels, compassion for LGBT people might be more prevalent, but the conviction that it is "objectively disordered" remains.
@SnapPopCrackle @chezami It's frustrating. I've been thinking a lot about how, I guess, what drove me out of the Church was the collapse of any sense of *belonging* there. How could I ever return to a church that, ultimately, thinks that queerness needs to be rebuked and abandoned?
@SnapPopCrackle @chezami My queerness is one of the best, truest things about me; I've known more love, more honesty, more openness since I transitioned than in my entire life beforehand. It was the right decision for me to make.

I was right to leave.
@SnapPopCrackle @chezami But it's hard not to turn my eyes back to that Church that was my home for fifteen years, knowing I am ultimately never welcome to return, and never will be.

And honestly, it's jarring, because of how hard that hostility was to see when I was in it.
@SnapPopCrackle @chezami You know? You really do believe the line that the church is an expert in humanity and just wants people to live their lives in goodness and truth, and that they really have the key to that.

@SnapPopCrackle @chezami Then you dig even slightly beneath the surface, and all you see is paranoia and disgust. I saw someone this morning say they didn't want to normalize "animal passions," by which they genuinely meant animal, as in "inhuman."

They think queerness degrades us.
@SnapPopCrackle @chezami For all the kind and wonderful people who have tried to show me love and to promise that the Church can do better and I am welcome to come back...

...even *they* think my queerness degrades and lessens me.
@SnapPopCrackle @chezami I dont really have a point I'm building to. It's just something that's on my mind, I guess. I can't help but look back and hurt.
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