Presence : bringing your boldest self to your biggest challenges
By Amy Cuddy
Check it out at your local library: worldcat.org/title/presence…
I'm surrounded by amazing people all the time, so I can use all the help I can get.
She's currently working on a new book.
Presence is *not* extroversion.
People will listen to you, believe you, and give you money* if you have presence.
YOU CAN'T FAKE PRESENCE
PEOPLE WILL KNOW
You have to have *authentic* presence.
*The book has a lot of VC-focused research 🤷, I didn't realize this before I started
Try this excercise they make MBAs do, it involves asking TWENTY people to write about how you are awesome.
I feel like this sets a high "number of people who know me" bar for getting an MBA.
Me: Perfectionist, Judgemental, yet also Lazy
Like this study, which involved self-affirmation, public speaking, counting backwards, and people SHOUTING at you: labs.psych.ucsb.edu/sherman/david/…)
Works every time.
😊 Listen, and people will trust you
🤔 Listen, and you acquire useful info
👯 Listen, and you see people as individuals, even allies
👩🔬 Listen, and you develop new solutions
Unlike Chapters 1 & 2, it's a bit of research in a sea of story.
Me, a minute later: Well, nobody else is prepared to do this either, so it might as well be me.
This chapter was not ready for 2019.
Download the paper: scholar.google.com/scholar_url?ur…
The other day I was chatting with friends about a travel wardrobe and I recommended buying 5 of the same pants.
Love a pair? Buy 5.
Zero people will notice if you wear the same pants every day.
Nobody else remembers.
Here's some research on how we're just giant balls of ego, especially when it comes to wearing Barry Manilow t-shirts.
It sounds kind of terrible.
But what if you considered the ultimate freedom?
It's okay to be you. To make mistakes. To try something and fail.
YOU NEED TO TELL THEM
And if you're a manager, you need to tell people to tell you about their work.
It's called "reporting"
How Women Rise: Break the 12 Habits Holding You Back from Your Next Raise, Promotion, Or Job
by Marshall Goldsmith and Sally Helgesen
1. It's easier to get over social rejection when you have power.
(this is probably why I dismiss negging: I'm just too powerful)
Read the paper: static1.squarespace.com/static/50f6f44…
One theory is that high-power people have a "global processing" style - they see the big picture, while low-power people have a "local processing" style - focused on details.
5. If you have power, you're less vigilant and more open to others
6. If you have managerial power, you're more open to input from your reports
Power makes you more creative because it helps you overcome conformity. Like when you’re naming pastas...
Power Reduces the Press of the Situation: Implications for Creativity, Conformity, and Dissonance
STOP DOING THAT
Oh yeah, their book is for people with power, to be applied to the powerless.
I’ve been doing some side-reading on ambiguity and the advice for leads I read today was:
1. Map assumptions
2. Identify trade-offs
3. Make an intentional decision...for now
The research: law.yale.edu/system/files/a…
"Elevated stress levels can impede performance on tasks that require divided attention, working memory, retrieval of information from memory, and decision making."