, 5 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
Tonight we had a large family dinner at Olive Garden - 17 of us gathered around a large table eating, drinking, and being merry. There was a rather large man at the table behind us eating alone, wearing a worn and tattered, ‘I’m With Her’ t-shirt. I looked back at him and he
snarled at me. I snarled back. Then he stood up abruptly and started yelling at me, ‘GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM...’ but before I could reply, Chuck Norris jumped from behind another table and karate-chopped the guy, then saluted me and ran out of the restaurant.

I looked
back at the snarling Hillary fan who grabbed a breadstick, pointed it at me and yelled, ‘GO BACK WHERE YOU...’ then a group of frothy-mouthed leprechauns fell from the ceiling, attacking the man for messing with their Lucky Charms. Well, by this time I was completely confused so
I turned to my husband to make sure he was seeing what I was and to my surprise the mister was arm-wrestling a llama in a red jumpsuit who kept singing Christmas carols in Pig Latin. ‘Check please,’ I called to the waiter who had started juggling flaming chainsaws in the corner
while the rest of this chaos ensued.

Of course none of this really happened (except for the big family dinner at Olive Garden which was actually really awesome), but it’s still more believable than the nonsense Erica Thomas and the Democrats tried to push today.

FIN.
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