Thread by @NotBernadette

ok but vmin au where taehyung can see numbers above people's heads which show the days they have left before they die. years pass and he's mostly learned to live with it, at least until he meets jimin: his cute new roommate who has a startling zero but is somehow very much alive.

it goes like this:

taehyung is six when he notices the light blue squiggles floating over his mother's head. he asks her about it but she just smiles, turning the question back at him and making him go on a tangent, until all talk of blue squiggles fade into that about school.

it goes on like that for a while. even when taehyung learns about what they are - numbers, and more than he can count sometimes - people simply smile and humor him, before shifting the conversation to his studies or his friends or the latest toys he likes to play with.

so it becomes a norm, seeing the numbers. but taehyung starts talking less about them, because people never seem to have answers anyway, and a part of him feels like he's the only one who can see them. everyone has them and yet no one seems to know what they are -

or even /know/ about them in the first place.

(maybe it doesn't mean as much as he thought it does.)

but then sixth grade happens, and it's like being dumped with a bucket of ice-cold water.

taehyung is twelve, tired but happy as he walks home from school, when he encounters his first zero.

he doesn't even mean to see it. but it's one of those days where he's a little too aware of his surroundings, so when he looks to his left and spots mr. eunjae rushing -

with his mother in his arms, the first things his eyes lock onto is the bright zero casting invisible light on her hair.

and then a car door shuts, bringing him back to the present just in time to see mr. eunjae drive off with the rest of his family.

mr. eunjae is a kind neighbour. his whole family is, and so everyone is devastated when they come back with the news of his mother's passing.

his mom sadly shares this after dinner. taehyung sits there, frozen in shock, and thinks—

'oh.'

the blue zero.

he's—

he gets it, now.

and so it follows:
- tae spends every spare moment he has researching about the numbers and almost turns up empty
- but
- his saving grace comes in the form of one min yoongi, an upperclassman who's known for being a lone wolf and spending lunches inside the library

"are you looking for this?"

the quiet voice startles taehyung so much that he almost drops his bag. he turns, eyes widening as he comes face to face with possibly the most intimidating junior in the whole school.

yoongi stares back at him, and in his hand—

is a familiar black notebook.

"um."

taehyung... isn't sure what to do. yoongi apparently does, though, and it takes everything in taehyung to stop himself from gawking when the other rolls his eyes before grabbing one of his hands and shoving the notebook in it.

"you're welcome."

"oh. oh! um, thank... you?"

"mm."

yoongi starts to leave, and taehyung thinks that's the end of that but then the other stops, hands slipping into the pocket of his hoodie as he tilts his head with a contemplative look.

"it was open when i found it."

"huh?"

"your notebook," yoongi clarifies when all taehyung does is blink at him in confusion. "i saw your notes."

and all at once, taehyung gets it.

"oh."

of course yoongi saw. taehyung hadn't been careful enough that day, a little too hassled to bother with double-checking as he -

usually would have, and now another person would be able to use it against him, because taehyung never stopped asking about the numbers and now—

"there isn't a lot of material about it, but there is one on the back shelf."

for the second time that day, yoongi surprises him.

-

'the liminal units,' is weird thing to name a storybook, but that hardly matters when taehyung finds himself finally discovering the truth about what he is.

or well, the closest link to the truth, at least.

it seems impossible, but then everything about this is impossible, and after three years of trying to block out the numbers, taehyung is more than ready to give anything a chance.

(he's seen more zeroes, now. and he's more aware of the numbers, the weight of what they mean -

making it difficult to look people in the eye, because the numbers are private, should be private, and yet.

and yet taehyung sees them.

and he wonders why.)

taehyung looks at the worn, faded green of the book's cover, steels himself with a breath, and then begins to read.

[ excerpt from the book: ]

the following week:

"so," taehyung drops himself on the seat across yoongi before he can talk himself into backing out. he's so glad the other likes the corner table. "hi."

"hello," yoongi greets back. he doesn't even look up from his notes.

"i think—"

taehyung stops. squints at yoongi until the other finally lifts his head, eyebrow raised and expression neutral.

"you think..?"

"i think," taehyung says, and the words come slowly, even when he's practiced it a hundred times. "you're a cardinal."

silence falls between them.

taehyung tries not to shift in his place, but the longer yoongi stares, the harder it is to stop. he lasts for a whole minute, and then he breaks.

"it's just, you knew about the book? and no one's - i haven't met anyone who could give me answers, and then here you are, helping -

me when you didn't have to and-"

he's rambling, taehyung knows. but he's nervous and a little terrified, and the way yoongi still hasn't said anything has dread pooling in his gut, because - because what if he's wrong?

"okay," he huffs, hands twisting in his lap.

"okay, you know what, this is - this is weird. just - ignore me. please. i'm probably wrong anyway—"

"taehyung-ssi."

taehyung shuts up. he blinks, eyes wide as yoongi surveys him once, twice. another pause, and then there's a sigh, yoongi finally shutting his notebook.

"you're not... wrong, i guess."

it takes a second to sink in.

"wait, you're - really?"

"yeah," yoongi frowns, and maybe that would've scared taehyung before, but all he can see now is a new friend who might be able to help with his ability.

"do you, um, can i ask..?"

"depends on the question."

yoongi stares him down like he thinks he'll argue. taehyung nods and doesn't.

"that's fair. so, um - well i guess you already know that i'm one, too," taehyung admits. "a cardinal, i mean."

"not like it's obvious," yoongi snorts, and taehyung sees -

his lips twitch into a small smile when that makes him flush in embarrassment.

"i can't help it!" he whines, thunking his head onto the table. "i've seen the numbers all my life and i never knew why i could, but nobody else could see them!"

"relatable," the other mutters.

"and then this happens," taehyung continues, peeking up at yoongi with the eye that isnt smushed into wood. "this is the best day of my life."

"thats some pretty low standards."

"they're not!"

"uh-huh. you said you had questions?"

"oh, right, uh." taehyung sits up and thinks.

or, well, he pretends to, because he's known the first question he'd wanted to ask ever since yoongi told him about the book.

"your numbers," he mumbles, and taehyung looks down so he doesn't have to see the way yoongi goes still. "do you- do you know what they mean?"

"...yes."

taehyung wants to ask.

he really, really wants to, because maybe he'll feel better about seeing the long string of numbers on top of yoongi's head, the ones he tries so hard to ignore even when it makes his head hurt.

but–

but he won't, not if yoongi doesn't want him to.

the quiet stretches long enough that taehyung considers moving on, but just as he does, yoongi pipes up with a single word.

"lies."

it's bitter, the way he says it; the smile that yoongi wears is sad and resigned.

"i can tell how many times a person has lied in a single day."

"that's..." taehyung swallows, "wow. that really sucks."

an understatement, taehyung thinks, wincing at himself a little because he hates the fact that yoongi's distance makes sense, now.

he can't imagine what it must feel, knowing when someone lies to your face.

yoongi huffs a humorless laugh. "tell me about it."

taehyung cracks a small smile. yoongi tilts his head, as if to think.

"what about you?"

"what about me?"

"you know your pattern yet?"

"oh, yeah." taehyung shifts, allows himself a single glance at yoongi's numbers, before mumbling, "i can - i can see how many days people have left. before they die."

"now that's fucking depressing."

taehyung shrugs. "i guess."

he sneaks another glance at the upperclassman -

just in time to see him realize something.

"huh. no wonder you don't like looking people in the eye. did you..?"

"a few times," taehyung nods, remembering that one student last year, the one he'd seen walking around with a ninety.

he hadn't known what to do, back then. seeing numbers didn't mean knowing what was coming, so when the accident report came in, taehyung felt it like a punch to the gut.

they weren't close. and yet taehyung can't help but feel that they should've been, because he should have -

he should have warned the person, or at least -

"hey."

he should've done something.

"taehyung. taehyung, hey, snap out of it."

the touch on his arm makes him jolt, and taehyung's head snaps up, only to find yoongi leaning over and looking at him in concern.

"um."

"you're good," the other assures, brows creased in a slight frown. "don't let it get to you. we can stop talking, if you want."

"no no, it's fine, i just–"

"feel responsible?" yoongi guesses, and taehyung shuts up because, well.

he is, isn't he?

yoongi just looks at him. and then he gets up, walks around the table, and takes the seat next to him.

"i'm only going to say this once," he says, staring taehyung down until he looks at him.

"you allowed to help people. but if there's one thing i learned about this ability -

it's that sometimes, you help them when you don't."

and then—

"i told my cousin her boyfriend was cheating on her."

yoongi's tone is wistful. and taehyung hasn't known him for long, but he knows what people sound like when they talk about someone they used to be close with.

"i saw him lie when he said she loved her because i couldn't block the numbers back then. and when i asked him about it, the bastard—"

the word curls into a growl, and it takes yoongi a second to continue.

"he fucking laughed, can you believe that? and i was so angry, so i–"

his voice falters, so taehyung decides to finish for him.

"so you told your cousin," he murmurs, tone gentle and understanding. "yoongi, that's what anyone would have done."

"is it?" yoongi asks.

he looks at taehyung, eyes dark and shoulders slumped, and taehyung wonders -

why he ever thought yoongi was scary.

"she was practically my sister," the other continues, regret spilling between them like freshly fallen snow. "and now she won't even talk to me."

taehyung quickly reaches out and pulls yoongi into a hug.

he doesn't care anymore; yoongi is a friend now and he's so, so sad, so taehyung holds him as tight as he can, even when yoongi tenses before going boneless against him.

he doesn't say anything, simply offers as much comfort yoongi allows him to give.

"for the record," yoongi says, many minutes later, "i don't like hugs."

taehyung snickers into the other's hair, not believing it for one bit. yoongi's face is still buried in his shoulder, so he hears him; he aims a weak punch at taehyung's stomach.

"hyung!" taehyung gasps dramatically, even as he holds on. "that was mean!"

"off, brat," yoongi grumbles. taehyung lets him go with a smile.

"this is okay, right?" he asks, because he'd like to make sure. the deadpan look yoongi levels him with is surprisingly expected.

he seems like that kind of person.

(or a cat, taehyung thinks. internally. because yoongi is mean.)

"taehyung. we just shared our deep, dark secrets with each other and you ambushed me with a hug. if there was any point for you to call me hyung, i'm sure we already passed it."

"just making sure," taehyung grins, placing his arms on the table and dropping his face on them.

and that's how their friendship starts.

-

taehyung pends the rest of his freshman year and his whole sophomore one being best friends with yoongi.

it's a thing that baffles the entire student body and fuels the rumor mill for weeks.

he ignores it, though, more focused on the things yoongi teaches him about blocking the numbers out.

"glasses help so much," yoongi groans, shoving a pair onto his face as he dies from p.e.

"really?" taehyung asks between breaths, still trying to find his water bottle. shit, he must have left it on the bleachers.

he turns to run back and barely stops in time to avoid braining himself on a familiar black one.

"yeah." yoongi sighs from his place in the floor.

"something about the lens being a filter or whatnot. but focusing on something also works. like, really focusing."

his eyes are closed. taehyung smiles aand gladly takes the offered drink, careful not to finish it off. he gives it back a moment later.

"you mean like with your music, hyung?"

"exactly."

"huh."

it's worth a try, taehyung thinks. and he wouldn't mind getting another hobby; music is all fun and good, but there's something about it that feels incomplete, like taehyung is supposed to be enjoying it with something.

(or someone, his mind whispers. taehyung stubbornly ignores it.)

-

it's the middle of october when he finds it.

it being his sudden passion for all things related to art, like drawing and painting and photography.

"about time," yoongi huffs, but taehyung knows he's smiling.

he ducks his head to hide his own pleased one.

classes ended an hour ago. afternoon sunlight spills into the art room and makes everything look softer; every inch of it is dipped in liquid gold. taehyung's fingers twitch to capture the moment, but yoongi is waiting for him -

so he urges himself to keep going.

it's... nice. everything is nice these days, taehyung thinks as he basks in the peaceful quiet, the only sounds coming from his cleaning and the distant bustle of the school's sports teams.

yoongi is sitting in one of the front chairs.

arms propped on its back and chin pillowed between them, he watches taehyung with a lazy sort of consideration.

"taehyung-ah?"

"mm?"

"i'm glad we're friends."

taehyung stops in his tracks and stares at the other.

yoongi stares back, calm as always but there's a hesitance to him that wasn't there before, and it makes him look small when all he's ever been to taehyung is extraordinary.

"me too," he says, and hopes that yoongi can feel how much he means it. "you're my best friend, hyung.

you know that."

"of course i do," yoongi mutters. he still sounds unsure.

taehyung puts down the brushes he was holding and slowly makes his way to the other, sitting himself close but leaving a table between them.

"hyung," he starts, trying his best to sound normal.

"what's wrong?"

the question makes yoongi wince.

(it always does, because yoongi isn't used to being treated gently, but taehyung is stubborn and refuses to turn a blind eye whenever his hyung is feeling upset.)

he turns away, shoulders hiked up as if to protect himself.

"nothing," he says. but then a beat passes, and he curls even further into himself as continues with, "my family… doesn't think i should do music."

ah. so that's what it was.

"but you're still going to do it, right?" taehyung asks, and the silence he gets is alarming. "hyung–"

"it's not the only thing i'm good at, taehyung-ah."

"but you love music! and you're good at it!"

"you're the only one who thinks that."

taehyung makes a frustrated noise and practically leaps from his seat so he can march up to the other. yoongi gapes at him, but taehyung -

ignores it in favor of dragging him up and into a tight hug.

he lets it last for a few seconds before pulling away with a serious face.

"yoongi-hyung," he says. "your music is amazing."

"taehyung–

"let me finish." he squeezes the other's shoulders, softening as he tries to -

channel every reassuring thought he can through the touch.

"i meant what i said, hyung. in all the time i've spent in this school and with all the friends i've made, i have never met a single person who is as passionate about music as you are."

"music makes you happy. it makes you happy so much that sometimes i wonder if it makes you glow, because you smile a lot whenever you work on a new song or rap or arrangement, and then i remember how much i want a camera because i always wanna take pictures when that happens."

"getting a bit out of tangent there, tae."

yoongi's voice wavers at the nickname, which means that taehyung needs to make his point before either of them starts crying, or else he's never gonna finish.

"what i'm saying–" and here he shakes the other a little, "is that -

if you love music as much as i know you do, then you should do it, despite what people do or don't say."

yoongi blinks at him with glassy eyes, before looking down.

"you really think i'm good enough?"

the vulnerable hope in that single sentence makes taehyung want to hug -

yoongi again, but he settles with a firm, "yes. and you're more than that, hyung, you're a genius."

"now you're just lying," yoongi scoffs, but he's wearing a familiar gummy smile and taehyung gives in and goes for another hug.

"you're a human polygraph, hyung.

you know i'm not."

"like that ever stops you."

"wh- i never lied to you!"

yoongi lightly shoves him away to give a deadpan stare.

"yesterday you told me that you didn't have enough money so i would pay for the meat buns when you knew i saw you buy two ice creams just -

before that. plus, i saw your numbers."

"wow. i try to be polite by ignoring your expiration date and this is what i get. i'm hurt, hyung."

"stop being dramatic."

"i'm sixteen. i'm allowed to be dramatic."

"i hate you."

"no, you don't."

yoongi sighs, one of his hands coming up to pat taehyung.

"no, i don't."

it's a 'thank you' and an 'i love you' rolled into one, and taehyung smiles, feeling warm and like starlight.

-

the thing is, there's something else that draws at taehyung.

taehyung loves creating. he loves being able to look at the world in different angles and falling in love with the beauty of each and every one of them, loves being able to share that experience with others in a multitude of ways.

but then there are times when it feels like -

it’s not enough. like all this is a puzzle and there’s a missing piece he hasn’t been able to find yet and it leaves him confused, because he finds himself lingering through certain moments, wistful and longing for a presence he doesn’t even know.

like now, for example.

it’s the middle of the night and taehyung can’t sleep. it’s nothing new, considering he likes working through the nights, but there’s something different about it today, and taehyung is both too tired and too curious to fight it.

so he lets the feeling guide him, lets it -

pull his jacket around himself as he steps out into the streets, breath cold and misting through the late november air. taehyung takes a second to watch as it drifts up, up, up into the sky, into the inky blackness spattered with stars and a pale, lonely, crescent moon.

and then he walks.

in retrospect, this is probably a terrible idea. he knows the streets aren’t safe, but with everything is covered in snow and awash in faded yellow lights, taehyung finds it hard to believe. he passes a small flower bed and stops, crouching to peer at the -

single daisy that still stands in it.

wonder blooms in his chest and he smiles, fingers bushing the delicate petals as he murmurs a soft, “pretty.”

eventually, he stands and moves on.

the night isn’t done with him.

it goes on like that for a while; he walks, ends up in a -

random place where he sees something little but enchanting in the way it makes him grin, as if being led into an adventure that has no purpose but to make him happy.

all the while, the feeling echoes in him, like a name in his heart and a hand offering the world.

taehyung is considering a quick break when he ends up in the park. it’s predictably deserted so he heads for the swings, lets his legs rest as he stares at the moon, quiet and thoughtful.

taehyung believes in a lot of things. it’s hard not to when you know when everyone is -

going to die, so it’s easy to believe that his ability has something to do with this, even if it is outside the realm of numbers.

(he knows he is his own person.

but a part of him also knows that there’s something - or someone - out there that believes he’s meant for /more/.)

a memory hits him, pressed between bookshelves and old, dusty books.

“are you looking for me?” he whispers, cold fingers reaching for the stars as he remembers being fifteen, nervous and skeptical about the thought of another person’s life intertwining with his just because -

fate decided on it.

cardinals and ordinals, he thinks.

if the other is anything like him, it sure sounds like a bittersweet destiny.

-

taehyung manages another half hour before the cold urges him home.

hands numb, he jogs past a myriad of closed shops before a familiar -

sign catches his attention, and taehyung stops to blink at the bright lights of the local convenience store. he doesn’t have money but he finds himself walking in anyway, like this is just another stop in his midnight escapade.

(taehyung doesn’t know this yet, but it is.)

he browses the shelves. they’re all full somehow, and a number of them hold items taehyung hasn’t seen in years. he picks up a box of chocolate drops and peers at it, passing by the empty cashier; it’s when he turns the corner that he finally bumps into someone.

“oof-”

“sorry!”

the apology comes quick, and taehyung flushes at the sudden loudness of his voice. he hunches in on himself a little, clutching at the box in his hands as the person scrambles not to drop his things: a basket full of food, an armful of sweets, and a single bottle of wine.

taehyung grabs the wine before the man can drop it.

“ah, thanks for–”

they lock gazes and the other stops, eyes widening as he stares.

“...that.”

taehyung tamps down on the urge to fidget, or move back, or possibly run out. he lets his eyes wander instead, taking in the -

other’s elegant features and soft, pink sweater.

at a loss, he settles for a hesitant, “um.”

the person jerks, before hastily ducking his head with a nervous laugh. taehyung panics when he almost drops his things again.

“wait, your food–!"

“sorry, sorry,” the other waves -

him off, straightening with a small but dazzling smile; taehyung wonders at how perfect it looks. “i just - i thought you looked like someone.”

“oh.”

“yeah.”

a beat of silence, and then–

“are you going to buy that?”

“huh?”

the man gestures at the chocolate taehyung is -

still holding as he leads them back to the front. a quiet ‘oh’ slips from him and he shakes his head, carefully placing the wine on the counter.

“i don’t really have money right now...”

he trails off, and the other hums as an employee pops out of nowhere and begins scanning -

the items. taehyung takes that as his cue to leave but then the man stops him, putting the box in front of the cashier so it’s picked next, before offering it back to taehyung.

“here.”

taehyung puts his hands up in protest. “you don’t - i can’t take that!”

“why not? it’s just chocolate, it’s fine.”

“that’s not - we’re literally strangers.”

“true, but i did say you reminded me of someone, so...”

“that makes zero sense.”

the man laughs at taehyung’s unimpressed look which, okay, fair.

yoongi has always done the same, but again, this man isn’t yoongi and could possibly be a serial killer or something, regardless of the fact that he’s shopping for groceries at 1 in the morning.

the night has been really, really weird.

“well if you don’t want it, i’m eating it,” the man actually winks; taehyung does a double-take. “just thought you’d want them, you looked kinda… thoughtful.”

taehyung knows that the man wanted to say sad, but probably hesitated at the last second. or maybe he knew taehyung -

didn’t feel sad, just… something to the left of it, like a drizzling rain instead of a heavy downpour.

‘or,’ taehyung thinks, amused and a little wry, ‘maybe i just look really sad wandering around like a lost kid in the dark.’

finding humor in that thought, he says -

"actually, maybe i will take it.”

the man nods his head in approval, pushing the box back into taehyung’s hands with a mock serious, “i knew you couldn’t resist.” taehyung laughs and tries to fit it in his hoodie's pocket.

“it’s free food."

"exactly."

taehyung grins and -

bows, waving at the man as he heads for a door with a cheerful, “thank you!”

the man waves back with a smile, and had taehyung bothered to pay attention, he would have noticed the way the other’s eyes were tracking him, sharp and pensive as he catalogued the way he’d gone and -

the area they were in.

as it is, taehyung notices none of that, thoughts already fixed on home.

---

it goes like this:

jimin is six when he starts to dream. he’s had dreams before but these ones are different, because they’re painful and scary and always make him cry.

they make him feel small, make him feel sad in a way he can’t understand, and he always wakes up with the feeling of sobs trapped in his chest, throat raw and eyes blurred with tears that just won’t stop.

he never remembers what they’re about. but what he does remember is his -

mom and dad always being there for him, murmuring soft words of comfort as they run a hand through his hair, worried but determined to help him in any way they can.

it isn’t normal. his parents tell him that the moment they know he’ll understand, and jimin grows up talking to -

people who are supposed to make it better.

“but why do i get them?” he asks, once.

mrs. jung, his current doctor, gives him a sad smile. “there’s a lot of possible reasons,” she admits, “and we can never be sure which one it is, but we’re doing our best to find out so we -

can help, jimin. i hope that’s okay.”

jimin nods, knowing that it isn’t their fault. it isn’t anyone’s fault, really, so jimin hopes that they’ll just stop so the people around him won’t have to be sad, too.

but then the dreams don’t stop.

they seem to get worse as he grows -

and jimin learns how to hide this, learns how to force himself to keep still and quiet whenever he gets another night terror.

he doesn’t like lying. but as he looks at the relieved faces of his parents, he decides that he can live with this one secret -

even if he knows it’ll break their hearts.

-

“did you actually get any sleep last night?”

jimin groans and faceplants into a back covered by a familiar yellow jacket. there’s a grunt, and then hands are holding him up and manhandling him into a better position on the -

uncomfortable cafeteria seats.

“hello to you, too, hobi-hyung.”

“dramatic,” hoseok snorts at him, fingers gently carding through his hair. jimin sighs and leans into the touch, letting himself relax for the first time that day.

they'd met at a dance competition.