Mitch McConnell, @senatemajldr, has always been a fucking moron.
Everything @senatemajldr Mitch McConnell comes into contact with dies like an upside-down turtle.
Mitch McConnell, @senatemajldr, has taken more losses than the 2003 Detroit Tigers. But at least Detroit's team actually tried.
Mitch McConnell had high praise for someone who confused real estate obligations with a package of Nabisco cookies.
Mitch McConnell, @senatemajldr, was a big fan of James Mattis. It turned out that James Mattis was not a big fan of self-aggrandizing traitors.
Mitch McConnell, @senatemajldr, also endorsed Tom Price. Another terrible decision from a terrible man. For the sake of turtleman, I hope this in-public self-flagellation at least earned him a ride on a taxpayer-funded private jet.
Mitch McConnell, @senatemajldr, cosplays a socialist farmer on weekends, because trade wars are easy to win.
Mitch McConnell, @senatemajldr, may or may not really like beer. It's hard to tell through that slap-happy drunk-looking turtleface. Just let me know if he screams it on the Senate floor.
Mitch McConnell, @senatemajldr and misshapen amphibian, once openly endorsed a man who ended up occupying his appointed position for less than a month.
Known turtleman @senatemajldr Mitch McConnell couldn't even get domestic security right, despite extensive experience wearing a large rigid dome-shaped piece of back armor everywhere he goes.
Finally, Mitch McConnell, @senatemajldr, endorsed a guy who keeps falling asleep in meetings, a guy who got fired because he couldn't use a calendar properly, a brain surgeon who thinks real estate is cookies, and a dude who can only remember two things.
It's time for the hard-shelled disaster known as @senatemajldr Mitch McConnell to go. If the above didn't convince you, he's also an insult to turtles: at least they know themselves well enough to jump into the ocean and swim far, far away from a position in the US Senate.
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