, 17 tweets, 7 min read Read on Twitter
1) Recap of last night's democratic debate:

The Chairman of the Democratic National Committee funneled four pots of coffee before taking the stage and nearly has a heart attack while screaming about the republicans.
2)The quote of the night is already, "Climate change threatens our universe."
Never change, Tom Perez... Never change.

The moderators are introduced.
We have three hours of tonight's debate featuring ten candidates talking for seven minutes each divided into segments of four
3) I'm already confused.

ONE?! Only one of these jobbers has dropped since the last debate? How is that possible? I'm looking directly at you, Beto.
The national anthem is sung and shockingly, all the candidates remained standing and no one took a knee.
4)The candidates are introduced.
John Delaney is running on the platform of having a lot of kids and his father being a union electrician.
Six seconds into speaking, Bernie Sanders is already angry and yelling at the audience.
5)Marianne Williamson would make a horrible president, but let's be completely honest... How awesome would it be if she was the white house press secretary and had to talk to reporters every day?
6)Mayor Pete: "I was a junior in high school when Columbine happened." <----- The exact moment I realize that I'm really, really old.

Commercial Break
I mute my television, but can still hear Bernie yelling at me.

#LiberalismIsAMentalDisease
7) WHEN IS SOMEONE GOING TO PROPOSE CHICK-FIL-A BEING OPEN ON SUNDAYS?

@ 9:41,hell freezes over. Marianne Williamson makes a solid point that I agree with.
At 9:49,Williamson reverts back to being utterly insane by proposing a half-trillion dollars to cure "emotional turbulence
8)Warren: "I thi..."
Moderators: "Thank you, senator. Let's go back to Tim Ryan for some unknown reason."

Mayor Pete says to the audience that you're a bad Christian if you don't support a higher minimum wage.
#DemocraticDebate
9) #Beto Free two years of tuition. Free housing. Free books. Free meals. I have no idea how I'm still here."
In all seriousness, is there anything that should not be free for people who make less than 100k a year?

#buyingvotes #freestuff
10) #beto in all seriousness, is there anything that should not be free for people who make less than 100k a year?

The candidates are now raising their hands attempting to get called on by the moderator.
This just keeps getting more and more hysterical.

#DNCDebate
11) #Bernie All of the polls have me winning in a head-to-head election with Donald Trump."
#TimRyan “The polls had Hillary winning too.”
#sickburn #cnn #CNNDebate #MSNBC #CNNDemDebate
12) After two hours, foreign policy is brought up. There’s a slight chill when I realize that Dennis Rodman has more experience than a majority of the candidates.

John Hickenlooper looks like a huge fan of the Wu-Tang Clan.

#cnnfakenews
13) #CNN has completely lost all control of the night. If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we have an intelligent method of presidential debate?
Gov Bullock sounds like a new step-dad who doesn't know anything about children, but is trying his best to relate to his kids.
14) Closing Thoughts
Beto: Every journalist who praised #Beto as a talented politician and the future of the democratic party should be deported. (Along with Beto.)
#Biden
15) #Warren I would pay money to see Elizabeth Warren wrestle a grizzly bear. I'm not sure exactly why, but I'd definitely contribute to her campaign if this becomes a reality. #BearFight
#buyingvotes
16) #Williamson I like Marianne Williamson. She's entertaining and is constantly making me laugh with her unpredictable and entertaining antics. I feel the same way about golden retrievers. I'm pretty sure that neither should be president
17) Conclusion
CNN accomplished the impossible and made last month's MSNBC’s debate look good. I would have gained more insight on the future of our country if skipped this one and watched the bachelorette season finale. #pandering
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