> the story will be focused on the relationship and friendship between jimin and taehyung, and their family dynamics, but of course yoongi is very very important too.
> little angst, jealous jimin, insecure jimin, coming of age
Jimin was texting Yoongi underneath the table, the elder was rambling about a book he read he thinks Jimin will like and Jimin is just typing his reply asking Yoongi to come over and lend him the book when his mother calls him out. “Jimin, no phones on the table.”
“Jimin… no phones,” it’s now his dad who reiterates, which means they're serious about the no phones rule but Jimin wants to reply to Yoongi.
“I’ll be over soon!” he pleads and types faster.
“He’s still going to be there after dinner, Jimin,” his dad decides to join in the teasing.
“Jimin ah, you should have told him to come after dinner,” his mother scolds but Jimin barely catches it.
There’s a boy outside Jimin has never seen in his life, he’s tall but looks around Jimin’s age. He’s wearing a big coat but looks like he’s cold nonetheless. “Umh hi”?
The boy bows. “Good night. Does Park Dowon live here?” he asks
“Kim Taehyung.” He’s handsome, Jimin notices, and he offers Jimin a charming smile. “He might remember me if you tell him my name. I really need to talk to him. I don’t know if he’s home...”
“Huh, weird,” Jimin’s mother mutters. But his dad doesn't say anything. Jimin sits down again and watches his dad stand up, watches his dad walking to the door, and then a loud: “I’ll be back soon”
His dad disappeared for around half an hour.
It's been thirty minutes. “I don’t know, Jiminie. But your dad isn't answering”
“No,” she murmurs. “I don’t.” And then it’s quiet between them. She wasn’t lying, Jimin will find out later, she didn't lie.
She lowly asks, “Jimin, could you go upstairs?”
He feels like it’s been years when his mother knocks on the door. “We need to talk.”
She shakes her head. “We’re going to talk to his mother, he didn’t tell her he was coming here….and...I don't think she knows...” Her lower lips quivers when she talks.
“Are you okay?”
"I'd do anything for you too," he mumbles. "What are you going to do?" he decides to ask.
"I don't know," she says truthfully.
“Can you stop ignoring me Jimin? You know, I’ve been waiting for a while. Can I come over now?”
He wants Yoongi to come though, he could use some cuddles with his best friend right now or just have Yoongi here next to him.
“Yeah, I guess I am. Just don’t hang up.”
“I won’t.” He falls asleep with Yoongi murmuring about something on the other side. The sounds calms him enough to understand that this moment right now, is a turning point.
"We talked," she decides to say and Jimin thinks the word explains enough. When he arrives at night, he tells Jimin. Jimin repeats the moment on his head over and over after days.
And that’s when Jimin finds out he will have to live with his half brother.
He’s quiet in the mornings, and he’s quiet in the afternoon and it's easy because no one talks in the house except for his parents at night. He doesn't get why Taehyung wanted to come to a place like this. Jimin just wants Yoongi to come back.
Jimin can't sleep and he walks inside the kitchen around three in the morning. Taehyung is already there. Jimin considers leaving and then going down the starts again when the other boy is gone.
Jimin walks to the cabinet for a glass and he ignores Taehyung's eyes on him. He catches Taehyung drinking from a mug and it’s steaming.
Jimin finds it annoying.
Jimin breathes once. Twice. “I don’t want to.”
That boy doesn’t know what Jimin is capable of. “Of course I can.”
“I don’t want to,” Jimin says silently but he doesn’t dare move. Now, he focuses instead on the sound the refrigerator makes.
Taehyung nods, like he's actually agreeing with Jimin but it's because he's glad they're at least talking. "Okay, your first question."
“I don’t care what you were supposed to do!” Jimin walks closer to him. “You ruined everything! Don't you see?”
Jimin doesn't like how he said your dad, like Taehyung didn't want him after all he's done.
Taehyung looks incredulously at Jimin. “Ah, I see, you’re selfish too.”
Taehyung storms out of the kitchen, leaving Jimin behind with the nerve wracking drops of water from the sink.
It’s only when he’s on his bed, hours later and the sun starts filtering through the curtains that he decides to calls Yoongi. “Can you… can you tell me about your day? How is the drive back home? You’re on the road right now?”
Jimin hides in his blankets. “No one. No one did, I just-” Jimin hiccups trying to calm down. “Do you think I’m selfish, Yoongi hyung?”
Yoongi is quiet and then he says seriously, “I’m coming over as soon as I arrive.”
He didn’t think his best friend was talking for real about coming over until he heard the bell ring in around four hours. It’s nine in morning. Jimin runs down the stairs in pajamas.
It’s Jimin’s mother who opens the door. “Ah, Yoongi!”
“Oh Jimin," she yelps when she notices him. She looks between the two. "I’m going to leave you two alone,” Jimin’s mother says in her usual teasing tone but Jimin doesn’t complain. He has bigger issues like throwing Yoongi out of his house soon.
“No,” Jimin declares. They stare at each other, Yoongi’s tired eyes and Jimin’s wide ones. Yoongi looks at him unamused and then Jimin moves to a side, letting his best friend walk inside the house.
Jimin needs to stop blushing so much. He wonders was the elder got him. “But only because you brought a gift,” Jimin bites, making Yoongi laugh.
“Ah, hi,” Taehyung bows. “I’m Taehyung.”
“Taehyung this is Yoongi hyung, he’s the neighbour,” Jimin speaks loudly.
Yoongi looks at Jimin confused. Taehyung is staring at Jimin wide eyed, after their bumpy encounter yesterday it's a strange word to use and it’s also the first time Jimin has called him that.
“Yoonie, sweetie! Are you staying for breakfast?” Jimin’s mother asks loudly.
“Yeah...” Yoongi is the one that answers.
“You have a lot to explain,” Yoongi hisses before they walk inside the kitchen, he stops and pulls Jimin towards him.
"Jimin," Yoongi starts but Jimin doesn't let him finish.
"I'll explain later, okay? I promise." Yoongi stares at him, searching for sincerity in Jimin's eyes. "I'll explain." And Yoongi nods. "It's... complicated." Yoongi keeps nodding.
Yoongi distracts everyone during breakfast talking about his trip and how they visited his mother’s girlfriend family and everyone makes questions, even Taehyung talks a little, but mostly Jimin's mother laughs. Jimin can't stop staring at Yoongi.
He doesn’t want the elder to be in Taehyung’s presence for too long and he also knows it’s awkward for Yoongi to be out there alone with Jimin’s dad. So he hurries and then takes Yoongi’s hand into his to go upstairs
“I don’t know,” Jimin admits. “Like... mom is really vague about it! I’m so upset hyung, they barely talk to me, only when it’s for a big decision like Taehyung moving in with us!”
“I mean… compared to before, no. Actually she’s acting like nothing has happened! like oh right there’s taehyung, the son my husband had before we got married but while we were still dating and I was pregnant”
“I don’t know hyung, it’s really complicated. I want to be mad at dad but I can’t? So im just mad at Taehyung and that’s weird”
“Well, it’s not Taehyung’s fault,” Yoongi starts. “But... I get that you’re mad.” Jimin remains quiet
Only by the mention of the gift Jimin is relieved already, “Right! What did you get me?” Jimin smiles brightly.
“It’s... I was at the beach so I thought you would...”
“Ah! I love it!” He smiles sincerely, wide and probably, most definitely, blushing. Yoongi backs away a little, taking distance from Jimin
And why was his dad on Taehyung’s room? How long have they been talking? Jimin feels something ugly on his chest.
It’s around midnight so he tries to be really quiet to not wake his parents up, however Taehyung isn’t sleeping, actually he’s scrolling down his phone when Jimin enters his room. Taehyung sits up as soon as he sees Jimin.
“I wanted to tell you something,” Jimin regrets being here the moments he starts talking, but he has to get this over with. “Don’t try... anything with my best friend,” Jimin warns him.
“I don’t know. Anything,” he doesn’t even know himself what he meant with it but he felt the need to tell the pretty boy to back off. “He’s…”
“Do you like him?” Taehyung asks suddenly amused.
“Don’t say anything,” Jimin quickly snaps. And Taehyung laughs, he laughs, loudly.
Jimin repeats the question to the other boy, “are you mad at me?”
“Yeah I guess I kind of am,” Taehyung says sincerely—
“I’m mad too, so... stay away and don’t say anything!” Jimin decides and walks out of the room.
Jimin wonders if his dad is trying to make up for lost time with Taehyung.
Jimin nods, "yeah, it was cool," he mumbles but he doesn't want Taehyung to think he wants to go to an amusement park together as a family.
"There's a, makeshift amusement park near our house," Taehyung adds in, almost in a whisper.
"There is?" Jimin's dad acts surprised.
"Ah, the one you used to hide in when you were little," he remembers and Jimin nods. "When did you go there Taehyung?" Jimin pouts.
"Jimin loved it there," Jimin's father says warmly. "When he was little," he explains. Taehyung seems uncomfortable and they both sense it so the conversation is over
“Taehyung,” Jimin’s mother starts, “we need to talk about school”
“Well, I was talking to your mother,” she says carefully and Jimin can’t believe to imagine how strange this is for her and he can't believe she didn't tell him she had been talking to Taehyung's mother. That's important!
After Jimin’s parents explained the situation to the school board, everything went rather smoothly.
“Okay…” Taehyung nods.
“You listen too, Yoongi hyung,” Jimin calls out to his best friend. The boy takes one earbud off and looks strangely at Jimin.
"It's fine," Taehyung shrughs.
And his day goes like that.
But Jimin has never been that close to people from his year
Until a day they’re allowed to change seats and Taehyung tries to sit next to Jimin.
Jimin is relieved but he feels strange all day.
That time Jimin turns to Yoongi, he hopes the elder understand he wants to be alone.
“Oh okay,” he looks away quickly but gets closer to Jimin.
Jimin feels guilty.
When clubs start next week everything will be easier and he won’t have to feel Yoongi’s judging eyes on him.
Jimin doesn't know how to tell her they don't have lunch together, that Jimin leaves the classroom during breaks.
Jimin wonders if he said so to not make Jimin’s mother worry about them not getting along or because he wants to share with Jimin.
"There are two lunches here..." Taehyung starts.
"You're big, you can have them."
“Why would he want that?” Jimin asks bewildered.
“Because… you’re brothers." They go quiet after that, Jimin plays with the kimbap.
Jimin sits up, the first words loud on his head. “You have club with him?”
Yoongi bites from his seaweed. “Yeah, he joined the band.” Jimin gulps.
"Ah, with Yoongi?" Jimin's dad asks. Jimin sinks on his seat when Taehyung nods and says they'll walk home together. Jimin's mother glances his way.
"Ah really?" Jimin's dad acts interested. "It must be because it's his last year. He's always been in the music club, right?"
His mother voice is calm, soothing, "Ah Jiminie, that means next year you'll be in charge of choosing the new members for your club?" She wonders and it brings peace to Jimin for a second. He nods excitedly, he will.
“I dance…” Jimin murmurs. "I've been in the dance club since I started high school, so the seniors with three years in the club get to choose the new members... that's why."
"He almost joined the music club for Yoongi," his dad jokes. His usual jokes about Jimin's crush on his best friend but this time...
Once again, his mother's voice comes like a blanket, like a caress. "Jiminie, you're also a good singer, you could have pulled it off," she says sure of herself and Jimin's ability. He blushes.
"I'm not so good,” Jimin brushes it off but Taehyung liked the topic and he begins to talk about his previous school and how he used to sing there but that here he'd rather learn how to play instruments. Jimin spaces out through it.
"I know dad, I love you too," he mumbles.
His dad, he has no idea and Jimin feels kind of bad when he goes to sleep.
“He asks a lot about you, you know?” Jimin looks at Yoongi as the elder munches on his fishcake. He looks cute when his cheeks are full so Jimin ignores the fact that he’s talking about Taehyung.
Jimin feels sick. “You two talk a lot?”
“I know. Dad got a job in Daegu around the time mom was pregnant, that’s why he couldn’t be in Busan when I was born.” Yoongi remains quiet, understanding the implications of Jimin’s words.
“Yeah! It's better now! I like the club a lot,” Taehyung perks up.
Jimin looks at Taehyung, he wonders if it has to do anything with Yoongi being in the club.
“In their band? that makes sense!” Yoongi sounds excited, and they're approaching but haven't seen him yet. They don't see Jimin at all. "I don't sing but I write lyrics."
“For you,” Taehyung mumbles from behind, he's joking.
“Let’s walk home,” Jimin manages to say but he remains quiet. Even if Yoongi stays by his side all the time.
Jimin looks away because he can’t stand how serious Yoongi looks. “I don’t want to.”
“Would you try?” Yoongi says slowly, his voice is slightly softer. He’s so close and Jimin is nervous.
Yoongi seems to be thinking of the best answer, and he’s smart so he obviously comes up with it. “Because I’m asking.” He smiles and Jimin says he’ll try.
But Yoongi notices right away.
When he sits back Jimin worries, what if Yoongi know Jimin has a crush on him and is using that to make him stay and get along with Taehyung, who he actually likes now. Jimin feels sick so he tries not to think about it.
Jimin sees the way Yoongi laughs at Taehyung. Yoongi has never laughed with him like that.
Jimin wasn’t expecting to find Yoongi after dance club waiting outside school. Yoongi doesn’t have club the same days as Jimin so he should have gone home already but he’s standing in the corner Jimin has to walk through outside school everyday
“I’m not.” Jimin keeps walking ahead and Yoongi goes behind him.
“Then why are you ignoring me?” The elder asks, concerned and Jimin knows him so, hurt as well.
“I’m not ignoring you.”
“Yes it is,” he says seriously. There’s no reason to lie
“What about him?” Yoongi asks
Yoongi doesn’t seem to want the same. “Prefer him? what are you talking about?” Yoongi comes closer, almost face to face.
“I don’t want to get along.” Jimin says, he feels something ugly on his chest.
“Jimin,” Yoongi’s voice is softer, like when he’s explaining Jimin a topic the younger doesn’t know about.
“My life is upside down too Yoongi!” Jimin chokes, his voice is strained and he knows he will cry soon.
“I know it’s shitty,” Jimin mumbles. ”I swear I know.”
Jimin wants to cries but he won’t. Not in front of Yoongi. He wants for someone to listen to him. He wants someone to understand why he feels so bad. He wants for Yoongi to like him more than Taehyung.
It’s no that. Jimin doesn’t like that Yoongi wants Taehyung and not him. Jimin doesn’t like that Yoongi doesn’t understand
“You can keep it,“ Jimin mumbles. “Or I don’t know maybe give it to Taehyung.”
It hurts him to say it but he manages, “I don’t want it.” Jimin expects Yoongi to call him back once he’s walking away, or perhaps try to comfort him but the elder doesn’t, he just stands and watches Jimin leave.
Taehyung is talking to Yoongi though. He carefully mentions him during dinner, probably expecting a reaction out of Jimin but he only looks away and Taehyung doesn't mention Yoongi again.
“Thank you,” Jimin mutters, taking the tea in his hands.
“Did you and Yoongi fight?” she wonders.
“You look... sad,” Jimin’s mom explains. "Sadder."
Jimin nods and doesn’t try to argue because he knows it’s true, instead he says his worries out loud. “Mom, do you think Taehyung likes Yoongi?”
Jimin shakes his head “No, I mean… like like.”
“Like like?” Jimin nods, looking directly at her. She seems to understand by the way Jimin twists his bed covers.
“Well… if he does like Yoongi, then… stuff like that happens all the time." Jimin looks at her confused. "When someone likes the same boy you like." He nods. "You’ll just have to talk to Taehyung about it.”
“Oh, Jimin,” his mom sounds sad and she pulls him into a hug. He has no problem with crying in her arms.
He thinks he's a good dancer, but is he a pretty one? He wonders if Yoongi would like him if he was taller? If his skin was more tanned? Would Yoongi like him if his face was different? Is there something wrong with him?
Jimin doesn’t notice when he starts crying.
“Jimin ah, are you okay?” She walks closer to him.
“Mmh?” Jimin feels under the spotlight when he looks up to find her staring at him. “Yeah, of course.”
“Umh, pale short boy who usually comes to pick you up.”
“Oh, is he picking you up today?” she tries.
“Ah, no. He's not.” She seems worried about letting Jimin go home alone but there's not much she can do.
He doesn’t wait to check if Yoongi sees the message, he only throws his phone to his backpack.
Jimin lays on his bed. “Hey,” Jimin replies. It’s all awkward, it feels awkward. Jimin is still sad and-
“Me neither hyung,” Jimin admits. "I don't want to fight."
Yoongi sighs. “Can we see each other?” he pleads through the phone.
“Yes, you can come over,” Jimin mumbles.
Yoongi stands awkwardly in the middle of the room. He nods quickly.
"You still have it?" Jimin asks lowly. Yoongi doesn't answer only takes it out from his jacket. He holds it.
“I don’t care,” Yoongi laughs.
"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable," Yoongi pouts when he says. "I didn't want to make you sad."
Jimin takes a deep breath. He should be able to talk. “I’m jealous, Yoongi.”
"I'm jealous of Taehyung and I know I shouldn't be," Jimin stands up, letting go of Yoongi harshly. The older boy looks lost. "I know I shouldn't be because he's had it so much worse than me! Because I've had all these things he hasn't. But I'm jealous!"
"I know I'm bad for being jealous of a boy that my dad left, and he left him for me, so I shouldn't be jealous but I am," Jimin is stumbling with his own words. "I shouldn't but I hate him!"
Jimin runs away.
Jimin feels so bad. He arrives to the park and quickly finds the playground lighthouse he used to love hiding in. He’s bigger now but he still fits inside.
He brings his knees to his chest and tries to make himself smaller inside the lighthouse. He knows he’ll have to talk eventually but he’d rather disappear right now. He feels like there’s nowhere he can be at ease.
It all comes to Taehyung at the end. Jimin will never move forward if he doesn’t—
“I’m sorry I overheard” Taehyung starts. Jimin doesn’t answer until the taller boy reaches him
“Do you?” Jimin blinks at him “Do you hate me?” Taehyung rephrases
“You know, the day I met Yoongi,” Taehyung starts, startling Jimin.
“I’m not lying! He said it,” Taehyung tries to gesture in the small space.
“He didn’t say that,” Jimin can’t help but giggle at the imitation.
“I thought you were just being mean.”
“I did want to tease you,” Taehyung confesses with a guilty smile.
“I’m not! I think he was going to confess to you that day. He correctly assumed you were going to say yes so he just introduced himself as your boyfriend.” Jimin shakes his head in disbelief but thinks about the bracelet.
“He’s really in love with you,” Taehyung says gently, catching Jimin’s attention. “You shouldn’t feel jealous.”
“I don’t like him,” Taehyung quickly says scrunching his nose. “He’s too short.”
“Then what is it?” Taehyung asks sincerely and he’s being so careful with Jimin. So different to the night in the kitchen but also not afraid, he’s honest.
“It’s different for me too.”
“And I’m so mad at you but sometimes I’m mad at myself too?”
“Why?” Taehyung asks.
After a moment, Taehyung whispers. “Jimin, I think… we are very similar”
“I think it’s harder for him to understand but... he only wants the best for you. I think no one should be sad.” Jimin nods. “Are you more calm now?” Taehyung holds one of Jimin’s smaller hands into his.
“Ah,” the younger suddenly yelps. “Should we tell Yoongi we’re here? I told him to wait outside,” Taehyung scratches his neck. “I don’t know if he wants to come up the game though.”
When it’s silent between them except for the rain hitting the lighthouse Jimin sighs. “I’m sorry Taehyung.”
“I’m sorry too,” Taehyung quickly repeats.
“I don’t know… I guess, I’m really sorry I made you feel this way.”
“I’m sorry I didn't... let you in.”
“You had your reasons,” Taehyung mutters. "You had many reasons no to."
Jimin nods. "You also had your reasons to be upset."
“If you don't want to be brothers, then that could work...”
"One at a time, okay?" Taehyung has a pretty smile, and it's so wide he must find Jimin funny. Jimin is happy, he smiles at Taehyung and dares holding his other hand.
Jimin is resting on Taehyung’s chest, they're watching Instagram stories from Taehyung's phone. Jimin tenses when they reach Yoongi’s. He’s out in a party. He’s always out. Taehyung sighs and locks his phone. “I can’t believe you didn’t confess to Yoongi hyung."
“Oh my god! Taehyung shut up!” Jimin doesn't want to hear it.
The younger shakes his head. “You should have confessed.”
Taehyung’s eyes widen. “You did?”
“Yes! The day you and I became friends, when you found me in the lighthouse. I told him then, and he never said anything again…” Taehyung looks shocked and then he shrieks.
“No…” Jimin admits.
“Fuck, you really are emotionally constipated.” His brother frowns.
“Only to know what happened between you and I…” Jimin remembers the conversation.
“You have no cure,” Taehyung whines in disbelief.
"Don't mention Yoongi in the next session," Jimin warns Taehyung.
Jimin bites his lip and lays on Taehyung's chest again. “Can you put it again?” Taehyung already has the app open.
Jimin misses him. He wanted to confess, but he had too much going on.
“I’m outside," Yoongi says. Jimin wakes up quickly.
“I’m outside," Yoongi repeats. "And it's kind of cold, can I come in?"
“What?” Taehyung rolls around in the bed and clutches the covers closer. “Isn’t he… in university?”
“Well, go for him.” Taehyung pulls the cover up to his face, hiding.
“Shush! I don't want mom and dad to get mad at me for sneaking Yoongi in, just that."
“That’s not the point.” Yoongi whispers smartly, Jimin sighs.
“I was at a party.” Jimin nods when Yoongi starts his explanation, dragging him towards the living room. Once Jimin manages to sit Yoongi down he stands up to bring him water.
“I don’t know,” Jimin says honestly.
Unexpected. “Oh that’s awkward.”
Yoongi nods and keeps going. “When I pulled my arm away, the bead fell off. The one with your birthday.” Yoongi brings it up, to show Jimin how the bracelet is missing one bead.
“I picked it up though. It’s here,” Yoongi squirms to get it out of the back pocket of his tight jeans. “I thought it was a sign.”
“Yes. A sign that I shouldn’t be kissing him,” Yoongi explains.
“Oh." Jimin decides to sit down next to Yoongi, "and is that why you’re here?” he takes the bead between his fingers and lifts it up to see his birthday date.
“Oh, he did?” Jimin carefully leaves the bead on top of the coffee table
“Yeah, I texted him when it happened”
“And he told you to come over?” Yoongi nods
“I don’t.” Yoongi's voice sounds strained.
“Okay you can stay over then, and we can talk tomorrow.” Jimin decides. "Talk."
Jimin shakes his head. “No, let’s go upstairs.” Yoongi blinks. He thinks Yoongi needs a moment to collect himself before nodding. Jimin takes his hand and, as usual, drags Yoongi upstairs. "Be quiet, okay?"
"I think that was for the best," Jimin admits. "That you didn't do it then..."
"I think so too."
"Are you ready now?" Yoongi wonders. He looks nervous and Jimin doesn't want him to be.
"Well yes," Yoongi bluntly says. "I think we're more than ready, and I think we've waited..."
"We've waited," Jimin agrees, he lifts his knees to his chest. "But it was important to wait!"
"I know!" Jimin yelps. Yoongi goes quiet. "I know you like me..."
"You're not really subtle," he says and he's teasing but he's also blushing so Jimin smiles brightly at him. "We both know..."
"I'm not going to kiss you if you kissed someone else today," Jimin says seriously
Yoongi blinks. "Technically it was yesterday, before midnight. So I haven't kissed anyone today"
"What does that make us?" Yoongi whispers to Jimin. "If I can kiss you tomorrow? What does that mean?"
Yoongi hugs him. His arms around Jimin's waist surprise him but he slowly relaxes in the hug. "I want to."
Jimin doesn't kiss Yoongi until he has to return to campus, but when he does Jimin thinks he's the happiest.