There seem to be two particular strategies going on, and much like owning a Mac vs owning a PC, there is a one-way street of abuse from the people in one strategy railing against the behaviours of the other strategy.
This is because one goal is socially acceptable (dating/romance/love) and the other is not (sex).
(As a society we really, really need to change that).
Here are some things I've noticed:
Optimising for finding sex is way fun, although convincing men to have casual sex with me has been surprisingly difficult so far.
I think I am slowly advancing through the stages. I've managed to get to sexting, but have failed to advance past being someone's wank fantasy.
Loads of guys include a photo of themselves with a dog. It’s a turnoff for me, I hate dogs. But that’s ok, this is a strategy from the romance side of things, making them easy to spot & not bother, thanks guys!
Seems crazy the lengths men have to go to to seem safe and caring.
Ditto the above but having a picture of a girl in the photo with them. Vouched for == safe. I guess?
Now onto what we all came to this thread to hear about: dick pics.
90% of the women online are looking for some perfect sweet white knight sexy good father stereotype, hence men posing with dogs. The other 10% are really fucking horny. Maybe it’s 60/40 maybe it’s 99/1 but whatever those women exist.
There’s no need for a horny woman to advertise that fact of course, unless she has a strong stomach. So the question is, how do men find those ten percent? Dick pics are a great way. Send to every woman you can, 9/10 are outraged but 1/10 are like "gimme that sweet d right now"
Think about it. If it didn’t work, guys wouldn’t do it.
Increasingly, it pisses me off that the outrage brigade ascribe stupid or childish motives to men who do something they don’t like on dating apps, like sending dick pics.
They think men are in love with themselves or just super proud of their penises like a 5 year old, or have no idea of their effect on others. That may be somewhat true of a minority but come on, men are really smart. They’ve been in this game forever they know what they’re doing.
When you realise this behaviour is actually a really good strategy, but one used for the other stream, it makes the outrage brigade look like the unutterably stupid ones with no empathy.
Men take this abuse with stoicism for the most part, because they know that if you wanna get laid you've gotta wait for the cray cray to tire itself out. Or find the 10% who think sex is great!
Then maybe we can all get down to fucking.
More updates as they come in.
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I've had three distinct rounds of debilitating anxiety in my life, and the focus could be described as "death anxiety".
Ages 23-24, ages 26-27 and ages 30-33. Both my parents prone to it. I am now 39 with no new recurrence. Here's my advice.
Firstly, identify the cause of the depression.
Often, people have simply been forcing themselves to do something they don’t want to do and either their body or mind or both give out from the strain. This type will benefit from the same advice as the type stuck in a thought.
Some people get depression from shifting Kegan stage. Kegan noticed his patients were primarily people stuck between stages. They see the flaws of their old way of understanding the world but lost their community support (“holding environment”) before becoming fluent in the next
‘At school any spontaneous act was likely to get me into trouble. I learned never to act on impulse, and that whatever came into my mind first should be rejected in favour of better ideas. I learned that my imagination wasn’t ‘good’ enough.’
‘One day, when I was 18, I was reading a book and I began to weep. I was astounded. I’d had no idea that literature could affect me in such a way. If I’d wept over a poem in class the teacher would have been appalled. I realised that my school had been teaching me not to respond.