In the following thread I will rank Starfleet Captains vis a vis flavors of schnapps. Starting with Jellico as peppermint because you know what, it's not terrible it's just not what you want 
You feel that fresh fruity bite on your tongue? That's the refreshing taste of progress. You feel that uncomfortable sugary aftertaste? That's a single flavor being expected to fill fifty roles at once. after everything there's always a little waiting for you on top of the fridge
Someone in a position of authority made a very poor decision. Someone grab popcorn 'cause here comes a shitshow!
Out of things to talk about with your aunts? Problem solved! Family reunion saved!
Oh this is different! Isn't this nice, it's so fanc-WAIT NO something is wrong. I can't put my finger on it but something is very very wrong
Some people say this one's a little too intense for them. Some people are dum-dum babies
I mean CLEARLY it is marketed to a younger more fun loving crowd and CLEARLY you have more sophisticated and mature tastes and CLEARLY *siip* oh damn
Because we're all haunted by the memories of happier more carefree times...
Ah yes! The ooold favorite! You really can't go wrong with a classic can you'll always love....but then...why are you hesitant to try it again? Could it be your tastes have changed after all these years? Is it possible you just liked it AT THE TIME? WAS IT EVER WHAT YOU REMEMBER
Nobodys first choice
I don't know how you made it this far and it doesn't matter. You're an underdog and ya got moxie
Maybe if we'd met under different circumstances. Maybe if you hadn't been the last drink at 3AM served by a sweaty intensely creeper bartender. But as it is, all my memories of you are filled with revulsion
*HISSSSSSSS*
Well you certainly......exist. I know we've met but somehow I have absolutely no memory or opinion on you
Definite cool boss energy, but you would pop and lock naked through the seventh circle of hell trying to earn the cool father figure energy
Aggressively wholesome
Hey kids! Who's ready to be SHAKEN TO THEIR VERY CORE?
Wait, why aren't we just drinking this all the time nonstop?
After you've checked out my podcast @WomenAtWarp hop on over to my ko-fi ko-fi.com/G2G3PJNP to keep your ol auntie Grace well stocked in schnapps
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