I just about qualified as Widowed And Young when you died, being as I was 48 in February 2017. I've documented much of that journey before in my blog so I'm not going to rehash that.
The dreams I've had with you in, oh they were quite cruel, sweet memories then a realisation you are not there.
But I need to tell you something now, and it's not easy.
They other day I said I miss you, and then I said Claire, not Bea.
It suprised me.
Because as you know I've been dating again. Tried internet dating, didn't work out.
And something wondeful happened. Like a huge weight lifting I didn't realise I was carrying. I felt wanted and I wanted to be with someone.
And so I thank you for being so kind, so loving and so clever. I will of course never stop loving you.
I hope it lasts, I really do. I know at least I have the capacity to live again, to properly live again.
You knew it, but then you knew me very well. I feel no guilt and that's down to you.
I can finally give myself permission to be happy, and without your words I couldn't have.