1. A young Arkansan boy goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he calls home.
"That's amazing," his dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?"
"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this -- they've had such good results, they have started to teach the animals how to read!"
"Just send $2,500, and I'll get him in the class."
"Where's Ol’ Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"