#FridayMotivation #Marriage

I sometimes get comments asking me when I’m going to marry my partner. This is a personal decision that I don’t *need* to answer, but I’m happy to share part of our logic/reasoning.

It will be a few years. And there are a few specific reasons.
I want to see my partner get out of debt before we marry.

That’s important to me and she’s agreed.

The second piece is that want her to have a small nest egg that is completely hers.

Power dynamics in marriage are important to me. And changing them in a positive direction.
Not that I ever would—but if I ever went off the rails and became toxic or abusive—I want her to have “walk-away” power with me.

Especially as a woman with a disability—I want her to have a few months savings that I don’t control and that aren’t part of our shared assets.
And the same is true for me—I don’t want any kind of relationship where my allegiance is demanded—where someone is in a position of power over me—where they can mistreat, neglect, or ignore me.

I don’t welcome those relationships. When someone is unkind/dismissive of me—I leave.
So even though we both know where we are headed and its super tempting to jump in-these over arching values are driving the train.

Even when a relationship is healthy/happy—it changes the dynamic when both ppl come to the table and have the power to advocate for what they want
And part of that power is economic power. The economic power doesn’t have to be equal. Our assets don’t have to be equal. I don’t believe that 50/50 on everything from housework/earning power/time spent on hobbies/emotional labor

That’s not a realistic ideal in any marriage.
But it is right/good/healthy for people to come together with a basic sense of self/security/power to set a solid foundation.

the “Jerry Maguire”—“You complete me” version of marriage is not healthy. You are already complete. We compliment each other. We inspire each other.
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to Rev. Marcy’s Saturday Statement
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!