, 15 tweets, 6 min read Read on Twitter
Not a lot of opportunities to spike the ball, to be honest.

Most of the points came from safeties.
But you, Mr. Beard, you are the last person on planet earth in a position to open your mouth right now - unless it's to apologize to each and every contributor to that @gofundme for your malpractice over the past 7 days.
@gofundme Let's explain- no, summarize - just some of what you did. We'll start with this: despite a 30 day extension that took the hearing date for Funi's motion to overtime, an extension that was perhaps your greatest legal victory in this case, you were late.
@gofundme You were not late because you were trying to be an ass to the defense; you were late because you and your firm DID NO WORK on the brief. You handed something that was incredibly, epically, stunningly sloppy in every regard.
@gofundme As I showed a couple of days ago, it was clearly worse than my 1L writing course brief - which was nowhere near a top-of-the-class submission. You couldn't be bothered to even try to cite to the record in the key section; no wonder you couldn't find evidence today.
@gofundme You forgot to address entire affirmative defenses, one of which was apparently central today. And you managed to utterly fail to begin to comprehend the meaning of the best - in many ways, only good - case for your argument.
@gofundme To top it all off, you forgot to get the legwork done on the affidavits, and submitted them with illegitimate notarizations - notarizations that weren't even necessary in the first place, which you would have known had you not been too arrogant to get off your ass and research.
@gofundme And when the defense caught you, you tried to pull the affidavits without admitting anything while blustering about how they weren't harmed because they had caught your malfeasance early enough.
@gofundme And even then you couldn't stop playing games. So - without reading the full rules (*cough*59*cough*) of civil procedure, you tried "amending" the petition with what was really a new response, without warning, with just a day left in the defense's reply timeline.
@gofundme Even that wasn't buffoonery enough for you, Beard. Nope. You decided that owning up and apologizing for your "mistake" - by the way, you lying little sanctamoneous buffoon, nobody believes that even you are so incompetent that you think phone notarization is OK - was beneath you.
@gofundme So you didn't bother with a dignified apology to the court, which might have fixed things for your client (possibly at some cost to you). You hid.

And now it seems all that was the warmup.
@gofundme Because you showed up to argue with no clue of what you were arguing. You didn't know the law, you didn't know the defense case, and worst of all you didn't know your own.

You didn't know your own client's case. At all.
@gofundme So you bumbled and you mumbled and you slung flop sweat across the courtroom.

And your response to all this? "Nobody should be spiking the ball."

Are you serious?
@gofundme At this point, you owe your donors - and client - an apology. And your resignation, ideally from the profession, but at least from the case - please, urge Vic to find qualified counsel, before you run him into bankruptcy with more fees.
@gofundme If you have any remaining professional integrity - if you ever had any - it's time to leave this case.

/fin
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