Good morning, Zok!
It's Friday and time to get ready for work! Laptop bag and toast in hand, you head out the door and peek at your watch.
Ah, beef. Your laptop!
You head back into your apartment and look under your coffee table.
You smear your toast through the beans and scoop up your laptop.
On the way to the office you grab some drive thru coffee. The barista reaches out to hand you your change.
You grab your change and toss it into the cup holder just fine!
You pull up to the office and wrangle your things and walk inside. You go to swipe your badge at the elevator.
Your badge isn't working! You walk around the corner to the security office for some help. You tap on the desk and they spin around in their seat to face you.
Birk spins in her chair to face you!
The Puerto Rican gnome smiles and helps you with a temporary badge, but can't figure out why your regular one isn't working.
You ride the elevator to your floor and make your way to your cubicle. You sit down and check your e-mail.
There's....a LOT of spam today.
You start to sort through it when Craig from Broadswords comes over.
"Hey Zok, can you grab some printer paper for us?"
You sigh and sound the call for a supply run. An ally joins you.
Rolling by on a mail cart is Hunter from the Fireball department.
"Woohoo! Let's go get some paper my dude!"
He looks exactly like you expect him to.
You unlock your desk drawer to grab your supply run kit.
You reach in and retrieve Nancy's Cactus. The arcane power flows from the pot like ethereal cotton candy.
You descend the back stairwell towards the supply room. Hunter uncorks a bottle of Fireball to let the flame out and brighten the room. The door is locked.
Hunter holds his hand up to stop you.
"I got this one, bro."
He pulls back and YEETS the Fireball
The door catches fire. Most things catch fire.
The Cactus is not amused.
You press on to greet the guardian of the supply room.
IItt''ss yyoouu..
You look upon your own face into tired eyes framed in unfamiliar whiskers.
"Turn back, Zok. There is only pain here."
The Cactus quivers.
The Cactus twitches and screeches, the other you claws at their ears and cries before bulging into a giant slug.
Hunter pops open a new Fireball.
You feel the power of Nancy's Cactus flow through you and cast Eldritch Delete Column!
Hunter hurls the Fireball the same time you cast the spell, and your Spreadsheetmancy catches the fireball in the crossfire and deletes half of it.
The slug is partially scorches before it screeches into the shadows.
You press on to find the shelves.
No sign of printer paper. Just a large tome...
There is a buzzing in your ear and the flower on the cactus begins to wilt.
You flip open the Manifest. It speaks how to obtain more paper.
You turn and to leave the supply room and head towards the receiving bay, soon losing the buzzing to memory. Hunter prepares another Fireball as you hear a commotion.
You arrive at the receiving bay to see Infernal Interns doing battle with a rival company's rogues. The interns are holding their own, but their flames are getting too close to the paper truck for comfort.
You beseech the Eternity Accountant to provide the power needed to rectify the situation.
The Cactus demands blood, and with a firm prick you pay the invoice.
Nancy's Cactus grows with a ghastly screech, and the spines surge and coil towards their targets.
Years-in-moments later, the battlefield settles and the Cactus has reverted to it's original form. The delivery truck and its papery contents are secured. But at what cost?
Hunter lies wounded after the battle. He holds out a bottle of Fireball for you.
"We got this, bro...."
You take the bottle and gulp from it. Hunter smiles and rests. The few Interns that remain carry him to HR.
You secure the paper and return to your floor. The Printer operates once again and the work place powers on. As it has for centuries past and will for centuries to come.
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