, 22 tweets, 6 min read Read on Twitter
1. Welcome to a prime time edition of the White House daily #shadowbriefing. It's been almost 200 days since the last White House briefing so Shadow briefing is providing a public service to surface the important questions and answers Americans deserve.
2. Let me start with some comments on the so-called whistle blower controversy that is sweeping Washington. As the President said today that whistle blower is a partisan out to get the President. He then said he didn't know who the whistle blower is. Sound familiar, its the
3. same strategy employed by crazy uncle Rudy last night who told @ChrisCuomo that he hadn't raised investigating Joe Biden's son in Ukraine and then 30 seconds later admitted of course he had. So, understand the first element of our strategy is to keep everyone off balance.
4. And that's what we've done. If we keep changing our stories no one will be able to keep up with us. And, more importantly, no one will be able to hold us accountable. You see we've concluded the main stream press and Dems are awfully dumb and it's quite easy to manipulate
5. them. That brings us to the second part of our strategy. We're happy about the new controversy because it's now inevitable that the media will make a huge scandal out of Joe Biden's Ukraine dealings. Yes, we know that every reputable organization that looked into it found
6. there was nothing there, but we've got history on our side. Look what we did with Benghazi over a four year period. The magnificent work we did with Hillary's emails, making that more subversive then colluding with the Russians and then obstructing justice. Over the next
7. few days, you'll see some well written tweets from the President spewing some bullshit about Hunter Biden, the lackey's at Fox News will pick it up, the Daily Caller and Infowars will do special reports on the huge Biden scandal. Republican leaders like Kevin McCarthy and
8. Doug Collins will say its a travesty that there is no investigation about this. And then the big dog, Bill Barr will step in and say given there are so many unanswered questions the DOJ is obligated to investigate these matters. And then the leaks come and Biden has a
9. major scandal on his hands. And the media will eat it up. Oh look, as I type there is a cable story right now on the Hunter Biden scandal...with lines like there is no evidence here but we're doing the story anyway. You see, we've got this whole thing figured out. The
10. amazing thing to us on the inside is you guys keep falling for crazy Rudy. We figured we'd have to put him out to pasture, but he's getting more air time today than any Democratic Presidential candidate. God damn we're smart. Now that I've laid it all out for you, there is
11. probably no need for questions, but I'll take them anyway since @PressSec believes her job is to send inspirational tweets about how much she loves the President. Q. Did the President pressure Ukranian officials by withholding aid to force an investigation of Joe Biden?
12. Of course he did. Have you not been listening to what I've been saying here. Remember, this is a President who got 3 million less votes than his opponent. And he won narrow victory because he got the help of the Russian government. He knows he can't win a fair fight.
13. So knowing he won't win a fair fight, he will fight dirty using anything he can. He doesn't believe there is anything wrong with leveraging American foreign policy to help himself. Look at all the money he's raking in. Look at what he said to George Stephanopolous
14. about accepting help from a foreign government. The President believes that only he can solve America's problems and he's not made enough progress yet in destroying our Democratic intstitutions to formally declare martial law and install himself as President for life
15. All of this is in that service. It's good for America if Trump is President forever. Q. But everything you're talking about is illegal. How does he square that? A. Easy, @realDonaldTrump views this as a transition period in our country where laws are not laws, there just
16. guidelines. And following his own counsel instead of those guidelines or suggestions as they were will speed the transition to what America really needs --an authoritarian government. Don't worry about your jobs though--there still will be media. But it will all look like
17. Fox. So ladies die your hair blond and gentleman get ready to be utterly stupid. The transition will be fun--new adventures, new horizons. And Fox has great benefits. Q. What if the media doesn't go along, doesn't fall for this and doesn't make this about Joe Biden?
18. You're funny. That's really funny. Who writes your stuff. We need a few more joke writers here at the White House. Next question. Q. Isn't the President a little worried about putting Rudy out there on TV. A. Of course not, he confuses everyone and if one day his head
19. actually explodes on TV it will make for great ratings. Can you imagine, what a show that would be. Q. If the White House likes this story, why are they stonewalling the hill on releasing the whistleblowers complaint. A. Because this provides much more drama--that's what
20. you like right. Another small part is the President secretly trademarked the phrase breaking news back in 2012 and he gets paid 50K every time someone uses it on air. Those 50K's add up quick. Q. Aren't you afraid that this may be the straw that breaks the camel's back
21. on the issue of impeachment. A. Ummm, there you go again. You really should use your best comedy stuff at the briefing. go on the road, try some comedy clubs, you've got some natural talent. Q. What's behind the President sending troops to Saudi Arabia. A. Money and lots
22. it. That's all the time I have for today. To stay up to date look for more inspirational tweets this weekend from @PressSec Just a few small reminders of how great our dear leader is. And don't forget to download @WMM_podcast where the real news is done.
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