, 13 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Thread: How to care for the neurotypical person in your life
#ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #autism

This is a tongue in cheek thread.

Do you have a severely neurotypical person in your life? Do they get upset or uncomfortable for almost no reason? Here are some tips. /1
Don't let your neurotypical person catch you looking at them. That's called staring. If you want to observe a neurotypical person in their natural habitat you must do so covertly. Unless they are talking to you. Then you MUST look them IN THE EYES for an undefined period. /2
Note: research is underway to understand neurotypical needs around eye contact. The current consensus is that this is an irrational demand based on childhood trauma & best trained out of them. /3
Neurotypical people are abnormally focused on social hierarchies. They may ask detailed questions like, "So who's going to this dinner? Is your boss going to be there?"

Make sure to tell your neurotypical person that this is a strange & inappropriate thing to ask. /4
Neurotypical people are congenitally incapable of learning subjects they find "boring". They also struggle to hyperfocus and must work hard to develop this skill.

It is very frustrating of course, but you must find ways to simplify difficult subjects so they can learn./5
As an addition to the above, neurotypical people also tend to lack special interests.

Let's observe a moment of silence for the grey and joyless monotony that is a life without autistic special interests. I can't even imagine what that must be like. /6
Of course, you can try to help your neurotypical person develop special interests by steering them towards common topics (trains are a good one!). But you must accept that many neurotypical people will never experience the joy and fascination of special interests. /7
Sensory issues: neurotypical people are born with dulled, muted senses. They may need accommodations like turning up the volume on devices, speaking loudly, or increasing the brightness on their monitors. Unfortunately this creates an obvious barrier to finding work./8
Because of their sensory issues, neurotypical people struggle to fit into office environments which are designed for quiet, private work. They also tend to require more social interactions, even initiating conversations with no warning, which makes them exhausting to be around./9
Most companies still fail to accommodate the neurotypical need for noise and socializing, so finding work may be difficult. Help your neurotypical person find a local government program that offers training and job placements with companies willing to take on this burden. /10
Neurotypical people are easily overwhelmed by their emotions, requiring unreasonable amounts of time & endless conversations to process simple events. This, too, should be trained out of them as it is an obvious impediment to living independently and contributing to society. /11
Did I miss anything? Please share more tips on caring for neurotypical people in the comments!

Reminder: this was a satirical thread & not intended to offend. But really, how would anyone like being talked about the way most people talk about autistics?
Neurotypical lack the ability to stim. When they are overwhelmed, they say unkind & ignorant things which hurt other people. Fortunately there are programs to train neurotypical people to learn to flap their hands or fidget as a substitute for their violent verbal outbursts.
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