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So much of our social life is focused around sex and hookup culture, but to me it seems that sometimes worth in relation to sex is more important than worth in relation to personhood.
Historically , virginity was tied predominantly to women. Through biblical texts and societal perpetuation, the “virgin” was defined as a woman who had yet to have sex, as proven by her “unbroken” hymen.
Women’s virginities were seen as a necessity in marriage, because women who weren’t pure were considered damaged goods. Marrying a “virgin” would also ensure that any future offspring were truly yours,an important point in a time that placed such a heavy emphasis on inheritance.
Beyond the physical myth of female “virginity,” the concept is problematic in it’s implications on sexuality. The majority of people consider losing one’s virginity to happen between a man with a penis and a woman with a vagina.
This heteronormativity presents a problem: do we consider non-heteronormative individuals virgins for life if they never have sex in the “traditional” way? Does non-heterosexual sex count as sex at all? What about anal sex, even between a heterosexual couple?
Does that count as losing “virginity” too? The answer is, of course, yes - other forms of sex count as sex - but within the concept of “virginity,” they are overlooked and demeaned.
There is also the issue of sexual assault.If “virgin” is sexually assaulted, does that count as “losing” his or her virginity?The importance we place on this idea of “virgin pureness” creates painful emotional conflicts for victims of sexual assault, who are left feeling impure
because of the unforgivable actions of another. Victims don’t deserve to have this additional burden on their shoulders.

Virginity is not real. It’s a socially constructed phenomenon that functions to police our bodies and make us feel guilty about our sexual experience,
(whether profuse or non-existent). It continuously puts power in the hands of heterosexual men, subjugates and takes power away from heterosexual women and denies the existence of non-het sexual bodies.
It  doesn’t need to be debated, it doesn’t need to be “considered,” and it doesn’t need to be contested because it’s not a question of theory. The proof is here: virginity is a harmful concept that affects not just women but EVERYONE in society,
providing no tangible benefits and creating harmful power relations in its wake. Whether you want to refrain from sex or have it every day, what you do with your body is none of anyone else’s business. Your sex life doesn’t define you,and no one should be deciding whether or not
to be with you based on how fast you’ll sleep with them. When it comes down to it, we should care more about our worth as good people rather than if we’ve had sex or not.

The social construct of the “virgin” had its moment in history - it’s time to eradicate its damaging effects
from our society and allow everyone to feel comfortable in their bodies whether they’ve had sex or not - because in reality no one can take your worth away from you. You lose your keys, not your virginity.
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