, 22 tweets, 6 min read Read on Twitter
1. Welcome to today's White House daily #shadowbriefing. It's now been over 200 days since the the last briefing and the press corps has been reduced to staking out a briefing room mouse. But there are lots of questions and if you want answers you've come to the right place.
2. Let me start by trying to clear up an issue for you in the press. Rudy Giuliani is the President's personal lawyer and not his representative to Ukraine. But there are times when he's not the President's personal attorney and does work on behalf of the President and the
3. US government particularly, but not limited to, Ukraine. So he is his lawyer except when he's not his lawyer. Does that clear everything up? Q. Actually no, what are you talking about? A. Let me make it simpler. He's his lawyer when we want to assert the attorney
4. client privilege. He's a government envoy when we want to assert executive privilege. So you see we've set this up so that no matter what anyone wants to talk about with him or document to see, there is no way he has to give anything up. Unless of course he wants to show
5. off the texts he gets on live national TV. But we've also got that covered because we are asserting the Fox TV privilege that applies when anyone close to the President @seanhannity show. Does that clear it up for you? Q So this is all about coverups and stonewalling?
6. Yes. for a second there I thought you guys weren't getting this and I was going to have to explain it again. Q. Were you surprised the the IC IG issued a statement yesterday pushing back on the President's TV defenders. A. You mean the former IC IG. Yeah you won't be
7. hearing much from him anymore. Let me just take a second to thank mr McCarthy, Graham, Pompeo and Jordan. It takes a special brand of character to go out and lie through their teeth for the President knowing he'll throw you under the bus at the drop of a hat. We call that
8. patriotism around here. Q. Is it appropriate for @realDonaldTrump to be trying to find out who the whistleblower is? A. Of course it is. When a snitch turns on the mob and goes into witness protection do you think the mob just says ok, we lost that one. No, they do
9. everything they can to find them and rub them out. That's exactly what the President is doing here. The whistleblower gets protection, but the President has rights to. If he can find him, he's fair game. Q Shouldn't have Pompeo disclosed his was on the phone with Trump and
10. Ukraine? A. Of course he should have because you know Trump was going to dime him out eventually. He always does. Would have been better for Pomp's to get ahead of that story. At least that's what I advised, before I leaked he was on the call
11. Q Does the Pompeo letter to Rep. Engel signal that the Adminstration is going to stonewall the entire impeachment inquiry? A. Of course it does. We have no intention of helping them impeach the President. Now if we could just convince the President to stop helping them
12. on twitter, we'd be in great shape. Q. How is it that the President doesn't know the difference between an apostrophe and a hyphen? A. One explanation is he's not very bright. Another is he's pretty dumb. A third is his daddy paid someone to do his schoolwork so he never
13. learned. I leave you to decide which one it is. Q. The President said he had a right to face his accusers. Does that mean he will meet with the more than 20 women who accused him of sexual assault? A. Umm, that sounded like a good tweet in the abstract. Maybe we want to
14. cool it on the whole face your accuser thing. Q. Does the President still have full confidence in Mr. Guiliani? A. The President has full confidence in him when he doesn't fuck up. Which has happened a lot lately. So I guess you can say he has partial confidence in him.
15. Q How about Secretary Pompeo? A. Oh he has total confidence in him. he can lie with a straight face, send threatening letters and believes that we're close to the rapture. He thinks he's crazy but knows he'll never go off the reservation. Q. Is it appropriate to still
16. be investigating Hillary's emails and in fact back dating classifications to make it look like she was sharing stuff she wasn't supposed to on personal email? A. Of course it's not appropriate, in fact it may be illegal. But it's a pretty sweet move you've got to admit.
17. Let me make a broader point. When you're back is to the wall and you're pretty sure you're headed to the big house, what's the point in being appropriate. Try as much crazy shit as you can. Q. Speaking of emails, are you investigating Jared and Ivanka on that front?
18. A. of course not, why would we do that. There in charge. Let me add don't you just love the candid pictures them post on the internet. Jared always in a Tux, Ivanka in an elegant evening gown, the children positioned like nice furniture. They have a real knack for that
19. stuff. Hey @PressSec did I mention its been over 200 days since there has been a briefing. You're still getting paid and I'm doing this shit for Free. What a country. Q. Should the President's twitter account get frozen. A. OMG please, @jack help a brother out here.
20. The White House doesn't seem to have a coherent strategy for dealing with impeachment? A. That's a fair charge. We only are organized in breaking the law, not defending ourselves. You can't be good at everything.
21. Has the President considered resigning for the good of the country. A. He actually has considered resigning but it has nothing to do with the good of the country. He's working on a huuuuge deal with Netflix about exclusive rights to his final days. If he can come to
22. terms with them, expect it to be a blockbuster resignation special. That seems like you might want to go file that story so let's end it here and be back tomorrow. @PressSec come back please!
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