, 16 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
1. Welcome to today's White House Daily #shadowbriefing which exists only because the White House has not done a briefing in more than 200 days. There is a tradition, or more to the point, there was a tradition at the White House that the Press Secretary did not brief on days
2. The President was holding a news conference. So we thought we'd do something different today. As an exercise we would answer the questions put to the President if he'd actually been telling the truth. So here we go. Q Mr. Presdient the three house committee's are
3. threatening to issue subpoenas if the White House does not cooperate with the impeachment investigation. Will you cooperate. A. First off, thank you for the great work that Fox News does. Roger Ailes said if there had been a Fox News for Nixon he would not have had to
4. resign. I'm confident that you guys will keep me in office and for that I am very grateful. No as far as cooperating with the House, I have no intention under any circumstances of cooperating with any investigation. The reason is simple--I'm guilty as hell and any
5. cooperation would likely have me removed from office and perhaps put in jail. So you can understand why I'm not going to help them do that. I'll tell you what I am going to do. First run out the clock on the Democrats. Make sure we delay everything they are doing. Second,
6. and more importantly, I am going to tell such a torrent of lies and misinformation that at the end of it voters will think it was Biden who was President and who shook down the Ukranian leadership. I know I can do it because I did it in 2016 and have never stopped. People
7. are stupid, I'm willing to lie and with the help of the Russians and others I'll make sure no one. understands what the truth it. With that strategy in mind you'll understand why I'm not going to cough up any real information. Q. What about the NYTimes report that Schiff
8. knew about the whistleblower report. A. He didn't know and we all knew that. We knew about it which is why we try to get it squashed. We tried hard and DOJ had it done until that pissant whistleblower pulled a fast one. But no, Schiff didn't know a thing.
9. Q. How is the political storm effecting US foreign policy. A. It's really hurting it. People don't believe us, they won't share with us and they don't respect us. We have lost our preeminent position in the world. And I don't have the slightest idea how to get it back.
10. Q. Do you consider anyone who opposes you to be treasonous. A. Of course I don't think that. That's crazy. But it is a great tactic with my base to say that. Threatening to execute a Democrat member of the House works great with my people, really stirs them up. I don't
11. believe what I said. But I don't actually believe most of the stuff that comes out of my mouth. I just move my lips and words come out. I have no idea where most of it comes from.
12. Q followup--who are you considering litigation against. A. I'm not going to sue anyone. Are you crazy, I can't open myself up to discovery. I'll get murdered. They'll find out everything I've actually been doing.
13. As a bonus, I'll add what Jeff Mason should have said when Trump demanded he ask a question of the Finnish President. "Mr. President, with all due respect, here in America we have freedom of the press in our country. It is a foundation of our democracy. So again with
14. due respect, you have no right to stand there and order me who I should question and what I should ask. This is not Russia, it's not North Korea or Saudi Arabia, this is the United States of America. So you can choose to not answer my question and you can choose to never
15. call on my again. But sir you can not and should not tell me or any other reporter in this free country what they should do. We do not work for you, we work for the American people." Wish he'd said that because that's the truth.
16. I'll take one question before I go. Q. Has the President lost it. A. Absolutely.
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