This! It's not just the struggles you face, but how you handle them. If you're a parent, autistic child or not, but you abuse that child, then you are not a hero.
If you're a parent of a child, and you're doing the right thing, raising your child well, loving them unconditionally, and (at least never intentionally) never harming them, then you're being a parent, a good one.
A "hero", to me, is one that goes above and beyond what being a "good person" would do, but considering being a "good" parent includes doing everything you can for your child... I can't think of an example of a "hero" parent, but I could also be taking it too literally.
How about this: if you're a parent of a child, and you're being a good parent, then you are also a "super hero" parent! Everyone struggles in life, in varying ways, but just because someone else's struggles are different than yours...
...it doesn't make theirs or yours easier or harder than the other. Everyone handles things differently, and has a different ability in terms of handling life and it's difficulties.
My only issue with the "autism hero parent" trope, is that it often erases or downplays the struggles the autistic child or adult faces; in my opinion, a good parent never tries to say they suffer more than, or at the hands of, something their child did not choose to be.
I didn't choose to be #autistic, but I am. And I struggle because of it daily, but to me that's just part of life. My parents are not heroes. They abused me, my brother, and even my wife. So for me, no, not all parents of autistic children are implicitly heroes.
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