, 15 tweets, 2 min read
When my suicide attempt failed, I tried to reintegrate into society under the belief that my gender would never be validated. I was closeted, but still outspoken on certain issues and fairly open with my experience.
Over the next year, a significant portion of my uni pride group became convinced that I was a trans man. I didn't talk about my gender, it hurt, but I did talk about my experience. The closet got smaller every day. By 2015, representation of trans folx and issues had changed.
My generational bitterness spiked. Suddenly informed consent models were becoming more accessible. GPs became aware of trans issues, any endocrinologist could prescribe and monitor HRT, and psychiatric gatekeeping was fading away.
By then I was in law school in Calgary, Alberta. I had a breakdown in a shopping centre in late 2015. By March of 2016, I once again had a prescription. On the last day of exams, I resumed HRT where I left off.
Since then, anglophone societies have become more hostile again. The visibility of trans issues backfired, the lack of support from the larger LGBQ+ community left us vulnerable, and once again I found myself deprived of opportunities.
A number of policies conspired to deprive me of the means to remain in law school. That breakdown had cost me a very important scholarship. I lasted 8 months on savings and temp work. Then I was on the street again.
I won't pretend that I have never thought about detransitioning to make my life easier, but I know that it would only shift barriers from external to internal. I've chosen to turn my frustration into empowerment.
I couldn't find work, even in the public sector. I was told after one interview that a state agency did not "think our clients are ready for a transgender [job title]."
Tangentially, this is why the current Supreme Court case R.G. & G.R. Harris Funeral Homes Inc. v. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is so important.
It was this opposition, the controversial nature of my hiring, my employment, my ability to earn the means to live that drove me to form Chiral Filmworks and begin work on my documentary examining homelessness in the trans community.
Detransition is a complicated issue. There are those who may feel they were mistaken in their transition attempts, and I will not dismiss them out of political convenience. They are just as valid as anyone else on this journey.
Just because an individual detransitions, it does not mean that it was by choice. Some detransition out of necessity, be it financial, medical, or for self-preservation. Others find that they do not fit in the binary box they initially accepted.
Still others are simply exhausted. The opposition and oppression we face in our transitions must be considered in discourse. To consider our actions in a vacuum, removed from the context of our lives, is the height of ignorance.
Detransition is incredibly personal and for many, including myself, it may be harder than transition itself. Our experiences cannot be presented as a raw number, nor can any one experience be considered representative.
It's simply bad discourse, bad science, and poor politics to attempt to use detransition to invalidate trans people anywhere.
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