, 64 tweets, 21 min read
I know it's late, but I've been saying "Ok, tomorrow..." because of time about this for over a week now, and I don't want to keep delaying, so...
*Steps into pulpit*
*Cleans glasses*
*Adjusts mic*
*Opens text*

Happy Sunday, Saints (and ain'ts). Yup, there is a #MusicSermon on my spirit, and I'm gonna get it out even though the hour is late.
The #MusicSermon ministry believes in keeping R&B alive even in a time such at this, when the genre isn't held in proper esteem. We extol the variety of R&B music, and the many forms and subjects it takes, like Beggin' Ass R&B
...and Bye Ashy R&B (for those moments when you really just need them to GTFO)

Curvin' and Dirty Mackin' R&B, when you KNOW the one you love ain't being loved properly (or when the one you love ain't trying to hear you).
...Problematic R&B, because the subject matter of R&B was still scandalous back in the day, but the lyrics were smoother and it sounded better 🤷🏾‍♀️
...and just good ol' Adoration R&B, because sometimes it's just about love.

But there are more subgenres of R&B that we yet have to cover. I noticed that, according to the Cuffing Season schedule, aspiring paramours are nearing the end of tryouts and heading into the preseason...
Not everyone will make it through. Folks will be cut. And even franchise players may find themselves free agents. The winter is a tough time to be alone, but in preparation we’re gonna talk about Broken-up and Brokenhearted R&B.
But before we get into it, some of y'all ain't been here before, so let's have some quick Church Announcements.
1. Once I get going, it's almost inevitable that I'll have some typos. I can't really go back and correct them once I see them because thread. Read for context :)
2. Please don't jump up and preach while I'm preaching (I.e. send me a youtube link with "What about/don't forget (song)." Which leads to...
3. Even if I slow down for a minute, the sermon isn't over until you see the benediction.
Finally 4. There will be a playlist!
So, in breakups and heartbreak, as in all things, there are levels and stages. Sometimes, you think the relationship might be over, but you're not sure yet. Uncle Frankie holds the title for most deceptively upbeat song in this category. Y'all dance now before you cry later.
Old players were perhaps better equip with talking about these situations (I guess in an era when your wife and your side called each other to discuss details, you had to be). Ron, Ernie and 'nem were also trying to figure out whether they were just going through the motions.
George Benson stepped to his lady like this was a conversation, but he was actually telling her "Nah, we frontin'" (Another two-step-your-way-to-single jam)
Sometimes, you've been feeling like sh*t is going left, and you gotta finally put it on the table to make sure you're not buggin' and figure out what comes next.
...I'll add this one, too, just for balance. (Also, KCi and JoJo had never heard this song until a few days before the Unplugged taping)
A real ni**a like Latimore might beat you to the punch and tell you "Sit yourself down, girl, and talk to me," because he's tried of you sulking around the house and turning your back on him in bed. Y'all gotta straighten it out. (It's game though...he's DEFINITELY cheating)
Sometimes you know it's over. Everything in their actions tells you it's a wrap. But you gotta force the conversation for them to actually say it.
Heart just on the floor.
"I wanna know... I wanna know...I wanna know... Is this the ENNNNNND GIRRLLL?"
What's harder is when the love is still real, but it's over anyway. Might not even be anybody's fault... relationship just ran it's course. Y'all been dancing around it, and finally have to face it.
This. Damn. Part.
Whew... Gladys. Chile.
Dolly Parton penned the all time hall of fame "I love you but that doesn't mean I'm supposed to be with you" classic, and then Whitney made it legendary.
Maybe you have the kind of passion where you fight as much as you love, and even though you've tried to make it work, you've been through the same thing before-ooore-aaaahhhh ...
(One of the best adlib songs in R&B. Period)
Rev Al was like "Listen girl, this sh*t is a wrap. But we ain't gotta talk about all that right now." Because break up sex.

Al said there'll be time enough for sadness when you leave me. Right now we got some other things to finish up.
(Al absolutely called the next chick as soon as homegirl took her suitcase and left the next morning and told her to come through).
A song about not being able to accept the break up propelled Boyz II Men to pop stardom. (I swear I love/hate this song. Love it because it's a great song - shout out to Babyface. Hate it because they played it to DEAATTTHHH)
Blackstreet was in denial, "Before you go, lemme get a kiss, girl." Hoping this would lead to some lemme-remind-you-what-we-have lovin'.
And then she left anyway. Damn.
Dru Hill knew wasn't no lovin' happening, they weren't even talking (y'all know that phase of the relationship where you don't even talk to each other? Ooph) But Sisqo wanted her to put as much work into saving the relationship as he did into the choreography.
And where Dru Hill was hoping ol' girl would fight through the silence and tension, UNV was over the hot and cold shenanigans. Falling all out of love.
(The sang this damn song)
When your heart's still in it, and the other person already has their foot out of the door emotionally and mentally, it's like a bowling ball to the gut.
This damn song had me in my feelings at TEN YEARS OLD!
There are 6,398 covers of this song by everyone from George Michael to Nancy Wilson to Adele to Tank to Prince for a reason... It's the most gut-wrenchingly beautiful and painful song ever in history. But the *original* was Bonnie Raitt.
Eventually, you accept that it's over and try to get through your mourning period.
...but it ain't that easy, and you're mad you can't stop crying.

(I totally forgot Stacey Dash was the lead in this video)
So now you're just in it. The heartache. The pain. It's all fcked up now...what you s'posed to do now? Can't even do life right...
You're under a cloud, and for a while it seems like the only thing that could possibly restore you is your love coming back. (Peabo's voice + these lyrics is just...)
Fam, this couch I've been laying on for 17 days is not a house, and a house is not a home, when it's just me here by myself. I be calling your name out up in here and everything. Well well, WELL WELL!
Despite your own efforts, you're pining away for them. Wondering where they are, what they're doing, how they could just up and leave you like that.
But after the denial, bargaining and depression comes acceptance...
And it's time figure out how you're moving forward solo.

Side note, Michael McDonald got the BARS in this song. "So many promises never should be spoken. Now I know what loving you costs." Man...
...but you still backslide sometimes.
You might eventually realize even though you're done with the crying and wishing and hoping and "Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"
...you're just not over them...or over it.
...which is why there are a gajillion songs that are just about missing them.
Case just wanted to call shorty and tell her how he felt, but she ain't leave a number, blocked him on socials, friends wouldn't tell him. He was out here strugglin'.
(Case had some joints, man)
Teddy's whole life was in shambles.
Aaron Hall's "I miss you" was average as a song, but the video was the most devastating thing ever aired on video soul. Just...who even wrote that treatment? Whose idea was that? 😩
Then you start wondering if they're booed up with somebody else. And who? And how long?
So after a few emojis on social posts and a "Hey big head" text followed by a "Tell your mama I asked about her" text, you ask them to come through. Tell them you've got some things you need to say.
Some mea culpas may be in order for sh*t you did.
"This commercial just came on tv and made me think about that time you said that thing... Remember that?"
Maybe you skip the coy stuff and make a full out plea for reconciliation.
This is in my Top 10 list of songs that will always get me in my feelings. Eternally. Perennially.
This one is, too.
*Wall slides*
*Curls up in fetal position*
Listen, they may have found other love. You may have tried other love. But you realized your love for them hasn't faded. It dives and it jumps and it ripples like the deepest ocean. Surely they want it back.
If you reconcile, congratulations! Your love overcame.

If you didn't, hopefully there's still love enough there that y'all can look back at how you helped each other grow, in time.
You might have even let them know that your connection will always be there, and all they have to do is reach out if they need you.
Or maybe fck all that. We can't be friends. Also, stop going by my mom's house.
In fact, if you see me in the street, just keep walking. Even if I start crying; it's allergies.
Family, should it come to pass that any of these songs are strumming your pain and singing your life at some point this winter, and you find yourself somewhere in the process of breakup or heartbreak, just remember...Life's not over. You can start again.
(Nah, feel how you feel)
And now, If all hearts and minds are FULL...


May music bless you & sustain you.
May it give voice to your feelings, and resonate with you.
May it touch your soul and spirit and give thee peace.

And all the people said...
Playlists coming tomorrow! And as the ushers come forward, if you feel moved to give to the streaming service fund, or just give a love offering you can do so via

You’re appreciated 🙏🏾
Some of y’all are hot I said “I Miss You” is average. It’s Aaron’s most basic ballad - structurally and lyrically - out of his solo stuff and his songs with Guy. I stand by that.
THIS is the ballad on Aaron Hall's solo album we ran in the ground. He took the cringey (but JAMMIN) "Don't Be Afraid" and flipped it into a gorgeous song.
Y’all not gonna yell at me in my own damn mentions because you can’t separate the actual somg quality from the emotion of the video. This is exactly what a video is supposed to do. IT’S STILL NOT A GREAT SONG.
So for the people debating the quality of Aaron Hall's "I Miss You," no one has given me a reason the song is *above* average yet except that he sang TF out of it. Aaron sang TF out of everything. I didn't say HE was average. The song is a separate subject.
Maybe THAT’S the qualifier I needed to add.
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