, 24 tweets, 5 min read
1. Welcome to today's White House daily #shadowbriefing. It's been, forget it, I'm too tired with all this damn counting. It's been forever, I was young when the briefings stopped and now I'm old. It's not worth counting the days anymore. Not too tired to do the Shadow
2. Briefing though. Bad news for Trump is my guess. Anyway, let's get right to it. Let me start with the issue of Syria and the Kurds. All, and I mean all, of the experts both in and out of the White House warned the President not to pull the small number of American troops
3. out of Northern Syria. He was briefed that doing that would expose our Kurdish allies to slaughter from the Turks and lead to the release of ten thousand ISIS prisoners who were being guarded by the Kurds. Now remember, the Kurds did most of the fighting for us against
4. ISIS and more than 10,000 died. The President was further warned that this would further increase the influence of war criminal Assad and the other war criminal Putin. Rather than listen to the experts, @realDonaldTrump went with his famous and ample gut, channeling
5. his thuggish instincts by conspiring with thug in Chief President Erdogen of Turkey. So what's happened. Well every freaking thing the experts warned of. Kurds are being slaughtered, America's word means nothing on the international state, the Kurds have turned to Assad and
6. for protection increasing Putin's influence and thousands of ISIS prisoners have escaped which will lead to the reconstitution of ISIS. Now, as we all know, the President has unmatched wisdom and judgement and is a very stable genius. So he had to have known this would all
7. would happen. So, from the President's perspective this is a policy victory. He's pleased Putin and Turkey and it only cost thousands of Kurdish lives, American prestige and the reconstitution of ISIS. And he did that all without a single policy review or endless meetings
8. or planning. He did it with one call. Now that's what we call a leader. He's a disrupter, he breaks things and will do anything to make life better for everyone, that is if you live in Russia. OK. Let's get to some questions. Q. Is the President concerned that his chief
9. Russia expert is up on the Hill today being grilled by the impeachment committee? A. I think I just answered that one. The President is not concerned at all about what any of his experts say since he demonstrates time and time again that he doesn't listen to the experts.
10. Now if geniuses like Stephen Miller or Peter Navarro ever would be called to testify that would scare him. Scare the shit out of him to be candid. So let's cross our fingers that it doesn't happen. Who said hope couldn't be a strategy. Q. There is a shocking video showing
11. a depiction of a President Trump killing political enemies and the media(redundant I know) in a church. Has the President seen it and what's his reaction. A. @realDonaldTrump saw the video over a year ago. You know how great that youtube algorithm is. Start going down
12. the rabbit hole of violent political videos which the President does during his executive time and all of these gems get surfaced. The President did have a strong reaction to this one. He was really pissed this was only being shown in a side room at the Doral and not on
13. the main stage. He's going to have a stern talk with his kids about this. They loved it also, they were emailing it around to each other last year. Q. But a spokesperson for Don Jr. said he hadn't seen it. A. If you believe that I've got some real estate in lower Manhattan
14. to sell you. Q. Speaking of the kids, with all the talk of Hunter Biden is the President worried that people will apply the same standard to his children. A. Oh man, we didn't really consider that. Now everyone is going to start going through all the deals they've been
15. doing around the world. All those business proposals with presidential seals and pics of the President. All those trademarks for Ivanka's knockoffs, oh man, all the financing Jared has been getting from sovereign wealth funds that the country has been doing business with.
16. This doesn't seem like a very good idea. We take back everything we said about Hunter. He's a good man, but he loves to be kidded. So that's exactly what we've been doing. We're all laughing about the prank he's now going to pull on the President. Q. Ken Starr was on TV
17. morning talking about how doing an investigation in secret is bad for America. Does the President agree? A. He really said that. After conducting the entire Clinton investigation using secret grand juries, except when he was leaking, and offering now due process to anyone
18. it's hard to believe he said it. The President knows that in America the system works where investigators gather info and then if charges are brought defendants have every right to all that info and to cross examine any witness. Not sure why Judge Starr doesn't know that.
18. Wasn't he a law school dean before he decided defending sexual assault at Baylor was more his thing. For god's sake I hope he only said that on Fox so no one smart heard it.
20. Q. Is the President troubled by Matt Gaetz trying to force himself into the Fiona Hill testimony? Some have suggested he was trying to intimidate the witness. A(loud laughter). Gaetz couldn't even intimidate the breathalyzer he's met so many times. The President wants this
21. The last thing he wants is delay. But that's what he got today. We hear half the committee had to leave the room to change their underwear from peeing in their pants from laughing so hard. Q. At the President's speech to the values summit, was there a reason he left out
22. he'd been married three times, had committed adultery uncountable times, paid off a porn star and a playboy model for their silence, and has been credibly accussed of sexual assault by 43 women according to a new book? A. Well all that was in the original draft but was cut
23. for time. Q. Is it appropriate for the President to be shilling for Sean Spicer and Dancing with the Stars? Q. Not even in the top 100 things of inappropriate things he's done this month. Q. @POTUS spent most of the morning promoting Fox News Shows. Does that mean the
24. unrelated Barr dinner with Murdoch and the departure of Shep Smith solved the President's problem with fox?
A. Yes. Let's leave it there for today. Back at you tomorrow with more truth bombs.
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