, 23 tweets, 13 min read
1. Welcome to today's White House daily #shadowbriefing As we told you yesterday, we're tired of counting the days since the last White House briefing. A lot has happened in the interim, Ukraine, impeachment, Syria, lots of great @WMM_podcast guests. But no briefings.
@WMM_podcast 2. So let's go with the next best thing, actually it's probably better, today's shadow briefing. Q. Given your experience as Press Secretary, what do you think a Press Secretary does all day when the Press Secretary doesn't brief the press? A. I'll avoid the cheap snark of
@WMM_podcast 3. saying lot's of happy hours. That's beneath me, sort of. My guess is lots of time on Instagram, catching up with friends, maybe knitting and plenty of time to work on the book, @PressSec The Stealth Press Secretary who never briefed. I understand it's already been optioned
@WMM_podcast 4. in a lucrative movie deal. Casting is proving somewhat difficult because of the clear liberal bias in tinsel town and the reluctance of any actor to portray someone who doesn't do anything. One exec. said think Tom Hanks in Castaway. Only someone with his skill could pull
@WMM_podcast 5. a romantic comedy between himself and a volleyball. And even that has more action than a movie about @PressSec Q. Republicans like Liz Cheney are suggesting the Democrats are to blame for the Turkish aggression in Syria arguing they took advantage of a weakened President
@WMM_podcast 6. to move at this time. A. Even for us, that's full of it. The President initiated the Turkish invasion of Northern Syria in a phone call with the Turkish President. It was a sign of strength, not weakness. @realDonaldTrump stood up to the entire foreign policy apparatus
@WMM_podcast 7. of the United States. Every expert on the region. The Deep State. The shallow state. The purple state. That took great strength and courage. And absolutely no brains. Hard to know who he was trying to please. Putin? Erdogen? Iran? Assad? Well if that was his play,
@WMM_podcast 8. he sure did pull it off. Top that one Obama, you of don't do stupid shit doctrine. We do stupid shit and we do it on a grand scale. Q. Aren't the sanctions and admission that the President has created this crisis. A. Why yes they are. The President is a master of creating
@WMM_podcast 9. a crisis so only he can fix it. Unfortunately, this time he may have gone too far. It's hard to see how you put the toothpaste back in the tube at this point. Our troops are being run out of town, the Kurds are being slaughtered and driven into the hands of the murderous
@WMM_podcast 10. thug Assad, and Putin is credibly telling the entire world that we're an unreliable ally. Other than that it was a complete success. Q. Shouldn't the President face the press and answer some of these questions. A. oh that would be a really bad idea. He still thinks it was
@WMM_podcast 11. a good idea to pull the troops and has that warm and tingly feeling from Vlad's calls and presents. Q. Is the President unhappy with all the Administration officials that are defying his orders not to testify before Congress. A. What do you think? His entire strategy is
@WMM_podcast 12. is to stonewall. And guess what, it's hard to stonewall when all your aides are up on the Hill singing like canaries. The President ordered his staff to come up with other words for rats and snitches as he wants to keep it fresh. More on that later. Q. The President
@WMM_podcast 13. must be happy then that Rudy has decided to disregard a subpoena from Congress. A. Actually the President is pretty worried about Rudy, well actually is pretty worried about himself, he never worries about anyone else except worries that the women he's sleeping with might
@WMM_podcast 14. talk. But I digress. The President knows how much double dealing Rudy's been doing both on his behalf and on behalf of the Giuliani divorce fund. So if someone squeezes Rudy, @realDonaldTrump knows exactly how long it will take to break him. Hint --not very long.
@WMM_podcast @PressSec 15. and that's very very bad news for the President. Rudy knows everything and even remembers some of it. A lot of people are saying Rudy needs to hire a criminal lawyer, my guess is he needs a bodyguard first. Q. The President tweeted this morning that its wrong that the
@WMM_podcast @PressSec 16. depositions on the hill are being taken in private, not in front of the cameras. Are the Democrats being unfair? A. Listen, we're just making this up as we go along. Remember it was all hearsay. And the Whistleblower was a partisan, and the house hadn't voted and there's no
@WMM_podcast @PressSec 17. no crime involved. We'll none of them worked and neither will this one. Remember, this is the investigative portion of the probe. This is how it's done. It's how Ken Starr did his investigation, it's standard practice for criminal proceedings while the body decides
@WMM_podcast @PressSec 18. whether to bring charges. Lawyers for the accused don't go into the grand jury room. If the DOJ had bothered to look at this, FBI agents wouldn't bring White House lawyers to interviews. The good news is we're working really hard on what our next excuse will be and we know
@WMM_podcast @PressSec 19. it has to be a good one. Q. What was the President's reaction to Hunter Biden's interview. A. Absolute horror. Now that Hunter has said he won't do foreign work, @realDonaldTrump knows the press are going to come after his kids, and come hard. He can't afford to give up
@WMM_podcast @PressSec 20. the sweet deals he's got around the world that his kids leverage his name for. We're talking hundreds of millions of dollars. And he needs that to offset the disastrous business deals that Jared and his kids getting into. @realDonaldTrump really wished this never came
@WMM_podcast @PressSec 21. up. He's blaming Mulvaney for this one. Q. Is he planning to watch the debate tonight? A. Of course, he'll be live tweeting. If he can't use foreign powers to help pick his opponent, than he'll use twitter. Q. Does the President still like Lindsey Graham. A. @potus is
@WMM_podcast @PressSec 22. not acquainted with the Senator. Maybe he took a picture with him a few times, but he doesn't know him. That about wraps it up for today. Remember to listen to @WMM_podcast now our only sponsor. Tony's tuxedo's no longer wants to be associated with the President as
@WMM_podcast @PressSec 23. he recently emigrated from Kurdistan.
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